Sorry to be so late in responding to all your lovely comments on my tablescape but my DD was home for a visit this wknd and its been busy! Thanks, Jay and your "reverse" birdcage with kitty/bird sounds like a fun idea! OA, thank you! The staff do appreciate my efforts which makes all the trips to the car to get my stuff worthwhile! Actually, I pretty much have it down to a "science" now and can usually manage with one large plastic tub and all my pretties wrapped in towels in it. Luckily, there is a "loading" parking spot outside the clinic where I work which I can use and the elevator is close by. Lynn, thanks. I had the matching green placemats in my hand when I bought those green napkins and then remembered that napkins are much more versatile as you can use them as runners, placemats and napkins. Thanks Mo. My tablescape did end up looking more "spring-like" than I wanted as the weather is actually quite "summery" here now but hey, it is still "officially" spring! Gail, thanks. Yes, the bday people were impressed! They said they didn't want to go back to work and wanted to spend the afternoon sipping lemonade and eating cake! Luvs, thanks so much. I LOVE that pitcher and matching glasses which my mom lent me. I am hoping to go out of town again and pick up a set for me...she also wants me to get another set of glasses for her in case she breaks one. Jane, thanks for your compliments. I hope to use my birdcage in a future tablescape as depending on what you do with them, they can look good from all sides which is important to me. Printer, thanks! I have actually asked that I be informed of the day chosen for each month's birthday celebration, so I can do a tablescape for it even though someone else does the cake. No one else wants to set the table (NEVER did that before I started working there) and since I love to, I volunteered! The staff are very happy! Karen, thank you! The cake actually tasted pretty good even though it didn't look that great. It is a very summer-y cake with pineapple and strawberries. DD

Brad I also think that canned beans are already cooked and don't need another hour of cooking, and I like beans cooked VERY ell done. Elery says one thing he'll never hear me say is "I think you cooked those beans too long", LOL. That said, I just chop up a few slices of bacon, I shoot for 6 or 8 but use what I have on hand. Dice them up, toss them in a pan, cook until crisp. Open a couple of quarts of home canned beans, you could use maybe 4 regular cans of store-bought instead. Drain off the liquid, dump into the hot bacon grease/bacon, stir. Just cook until the beans are hot all the way through. If you want to get really fancy, sprinkle some chopped or slivered almonds over top. The grandkids love green beans this way. So do most of the adults, green vegetables are always better with bacon. I agree with cynic, don't leave the guys out, some of them might really like to cook. Unless, of course, you want all the girls to yourself. (grin) Annie

I made one for my granddaughter the same way Susie said. I didn't use a real barbie doll as I didn't want to ruin the doll. But used a dollar store version and I also made her a court of 5 dolls too. The were made from a large muffin tin. It was so much fun and she loved it and so did her cousins that were there too. I just put the heads only after the cakes or muffins were baked. It was much cheaper than having it made. Mary

Some other thoughts (I've been thinking about your and your post, and your problems, over the evening and the morning, on my commute, in the shower, etc.--so feel "cared for"!) I have some other thoughts that maybe you can plug into your problem-solving here. ******************* THOUGHT ONE: Redefine yourself as a SUPERVISOR, not a DO-er I have a relatively new colleague who is the editor of our magazine (I'm in charge of process and timing). Over the last 2 issues, I've realized that she's editing about 3/4 of the stories--yet she also has meetings w/ the publisher, and press-conference things to attend, and meetings w/ the edit director, etc. I've been pressuring her to realize, as she's hiring a new senior editor (there are only 2 editors, her and the senior) that she has to redefine what she does. She CANNOT edit 3/4 of the stories; she doesn't have time. She has to have time to be the executive (researching and making decisions; editing behind the other editor, etc.). And time to supervise. The same is true of you. Your kids aren't quite as old as mine (my youngest is the age of your oldest), but you need to start working TOWARD the idea that you don't DO; you supervise. (right now, you'll have more 'doing', but frankly, you should never take the garbage out, and you should never clean a toilet or a bathroom sink--your kids are old enough to do that. ******************** THOUGHT 2: REWARD WORKS BEST Also, reward works better than punishment. I keep forgetting that, and I sort of resent rewarding them for doing chores, but it's EFFECTIVE. Praise is a great reward, but so would be something like TV watching. (this means you have to move stuff like family event, TV time, etc., out of "life as normal" and into "reward" category) **************** THOUGHT 3: MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK This is not just that you can do more--but that when you work w/ company, it's more fun, less oppressive. Also, especially I think at the ages your kids are, it's much more fun to clean and tidy WITH COMPANY. So keep up the "family pick-up time," and make it MORE often, and everybody do it. Right before bed, everybody picks up. Put it on the schedule as being JUST as crucial as brushing teeth. it happens at the same time every day, and everybody does it. A little bit of "togetherness" right before bedtime, that ALWAYS happens, regardless. (I say this, because I do not DO this always, and I live w/ the end results, and it is NOT good; but the times that I am able to make this happen, it makes a big difference) (and everybody picks up everything--even if it's not yours, if you know where it goes, put it there) ****************** THOUGHT 4: PROVIDE STRUCTURE I think the ages your kids are is a good time for little time-management/motivation tricks. Here are some I've used: -"beat the clock": set a timer for 15 minutes, see how much you can do in a HURRY! -"clean to music": pick lively music, and see what you can do in 2 songs -"do a dozen": bring a laundry basket in, put 12 things in it (maybe you can help pick them, but best is to get the kid to put them in); so the dozen is clearly corralled, and have them put those away (beat the clock, if you can--my DS can put 12 things away in 3 minutes). Repeat as needed -"how long is it REALLY?" My timer will also work as a stopwatch; we timed how long it took to fold a basket of clothes--10 minutes. Or how long to "do a dozen"--3 mins. You could make a chart of how long things REALLY take, and then that will help remind you all that it'll be done so quickly. ************** THOUGHT 5: EDUCATE HUBBY I'm not big into demanding of my husband--it doesn't work, for one thing. But I'd suggest working w/ your DH to open his eyes to the idea that the stuff he brings in doesn't have a home, doesn't add to anything, etc., it sounds like he's got a willingness, so you can build on that. You may just need to educate him about the dynamics of "stuff" and "clutter"; he may not even see it. *************** THOUGHT 6: THINK "LONG-TERM IMPROVEMENT," NOT "ONE-SHOT SUCCESS" Also: one slighty pessimistic (well, "realistic") note: you said: "I want this resolved!" Homekeeping is NEVER "resolved." Training children to pick up their clothes is NEVER "resolved." Laundry is never "done." Aim for "caught up" w/ laundry. Aim for "trending better" w/ organization, housework, and kids living up to their responsibilities. ******* (an aside--the 6-hour math class: I often say to my kids, "If you'd stop arguing w/ me and just go PICK IT UP, you'd have been finished by now. You have spent more time arguing that it would have taken you to DO it!" (of curse, in those instances, I probably should have imposed some swift, onerous punishment, but...) I have thought sometimes that I should take my stopwatch-timer and turned it on to time how long they were fussing and whining, then time how long it took to do it") But that also points out a value in getting your kids to help you do some research--take your chore chart, and have them do the chore, complete w/ setup and break-down, smoothly without rushing or dawdling, and then write down the number of minutes it took--that's the standard, and when it's chore time, maybe it won't seem so daunting bcs they'll know that can clean the sink, the tub, and the toilet in 5 minutes. I did this w/ my DS bcs he was taking so long to get dressed, and he acted as though it would be FOREVER until he was done. So I challenged him to help me research it, and he could get dressed in 6 minutes (he has a tie, and a sweater, etc.) Once he really understood that, I found, he would get dressed promptly. Try the same thing for setting the table, etc. Also research stuff like how long it takes to pick up a huge mess, vs. how long it takes the next night when it's a single day's worth. ************* THOUGHT 7: LESS STUFF I said it before, and I'll say it again--the kids won't get overwhelmed, and you won't either, if they don't have more than the bare minimum. I'm thinking of Jamie from Montana, who used to post here, who hated washing dishes so much that she wouldn't, and then she'd have a huge stack of them, etc. She put all the plates away deep in the dining room, except for 2--so she had to do dishes every night, or she didn't have anything to eat on. Voila! she could keep up.