Hi Norwega, My sister has 3 teenagers, is a single mom, so finances are tight, but she has never learned to manage her own money well. Your sister's kids will always (and HAVE been) watching her values & habits. Will SHE be willing to read and/or listen too CDs/Tapes to break her established patterns and re-learn new habits? If not... the kids are not likely to do anything different UNLESS they are doing so in DEFIANCE to Mom... Her middle son seems to be following in her footsteps, wanting to have things before he has the money. He's in basketball, which will hopefully result in a college scholarship. I'm looking for recommendations on books or other that our mom, his gramma, can work with on him on learning finances. Character is the underlying issue in finance. Far more so than any mathematical principles. If he's REALLY strong in Basketball, I recommend 1st getting him addicted to the focus on Principles by giving him "They Call Me Coach" by John Wooden (the winningest college dynasty basketball coach ever in history.) They Call Me Coach (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/They-Call-Coach-John-Wooden/dp/0071424911/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175881006&sr=1-1 If your nephew is a student of the game, he'll definitely "see the light." A class on finances is offered in the high school, but he's a junior, and I imagine he's already committed to classes for his senior year. This came up because he wants to borrow money from me to go to prom. One thought was he could do chores for his gramma to work off the money owed from me. Please advise. Here's a list of appropriate "starter books" for anyone (but especially young people); Rich Dad's Escape from the Rat Race: How to Become a Rich Kid by Following Rich Dad's Advice (Rich Dad) (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dads-Escape-Rat-Race/dp/0316000477/ref=sr_1_16/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175880409&sr=8-16 Rich Dad Poor Dad for Teens: The Secrets About Money--That You Don't Learn in School! (Rich Dad Poor Dad) (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dad-Poor-Teens-Money-That/dp/0446693219/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&qid=1175880409&sr=8-16 Rich Dad's Rich Kid, Smart Kid: Giving Your Children a Financial Headstart (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dads-Kid-Smart-Financial/dp/0446677485/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&qid=1175880409&sr=8-16 Think and Grow Rich: The Landmark Bestseller--Now Revised and Updated for the 21st Century [ABRIDGED] (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Think-Grow-Rich-Landmark-Bestseller-Now/dp/1585424331/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175880523&sr=1-2 The Wisdom of James Allen : Including As a Man Thinketh, The Path to Prosperity, The Mastery of Destiny, The Way of Peace, and Entering the Kingdom (Radiant Life) (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-James-Allen-Including-Prosperity/dp/1889606006/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175880588&sr=1-2 Richest Man in Babylon (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Richest-Man-Babylon-George-Clason/dp/0451205367/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175880631&sr=1-1 Hope these help! Dave Donhoff Strategic Equity & Mortgage Planner

Not sure how, if at all, the new 'rules' may apply to what you ladies are discussing, but thought I'd put them out here anyway. My 'too busy to pay attention' SS blew this one in his never ending 'verbal' and/or 'I thought I could' agreements with SGS's BM. from the IRS New Rules For Children of Divorced and Seperated Parents: Revocation of release of claim to an exemption. For tax years beginning after July 2, 2008 (the 2009 calendar year for most taxpayers), new rules apply to allow the custodial parent to revoke a release of claim to exemption that was previously released to the noncustodial parent on Form 8332, Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent, or similar statement. The revocation is effective no earlier than the tax year following the year in which the custodial parent provides, or makes reasonable efforts to provide, the noncustodial parent with written notice of the revocation. Therefore, if the custodial parent provides notice of revocation to the noncustodial parent in 2009, the earliest tax year the revocation can be effective is the tax year beginning in 2010. You can use Part III of Form 8332 for this purpose. You must attach a copy of the revocation to your return for each tax year you claim the child as a dependent as a result of the revocation. Post-1984 and pre-2009 divorce decree or separation agreement. If the divorce decree or separation agreement went into effect after 1984 and before 2009, the noncustodial parent may be able to attach certain pages from the decree or agreement instead of Form 8332. The decree or agreement must state all three of the following. The noncustodial parent can claim the child as a dependent without regard to any condition, such as payment of support. The custodial parent will not claim the child as a dependent for the year. The years for which the noncustodial parent, rather than the custodial parent, can claim the child as a dependent. The noncustodial parent must attach all of the following pages of the decree or agreement to his or her tax return. The cover page (write the other parent's social security number on this page). The pages that include all of the information identified in items (1) through (3) above. The signature page with the other parent's signature and the date of the agreement. Post-2008 divorce decree or separation agreement. Beginning with 2009 tax returns, the noncustodial parent can no longer attach pages from the decree or agreement instead of Form 8332 if the decree or agreement went into effect after 2008. The noncustodial parent will have to attach Form 8332 or similar statement signed by the custodial parent and whose only purpose is to release a claim to exemption. The noncustodial parent must attach the required information even if it was filed with a return in an earlier year. Here is a link that might be useful: New Rules...

My oldest is a rising junior, and I'll be honest...this type of discussion until literally just a month ago or so would've made me start to "pit out" and get hives. :) Fortunately, I have several close friends with children a couple of years older than mine and they are wonderful about talking me off the ledge. Our fella is your basic "good" kid. He is bright, and tests well. He is taking all honors and AP...but is not making straight As. Lots of Bs liberally sprinkled throughout. He loves sports, and plays several at school...but we will not be worrying about college sports recruiters hounding us. He has no interest in music, drama, or visual arts. He is involved in student government and other clubs but certainly isn't doing anything visionary as far as extracurriculars. Until recently, all I seemed to do was nag him about doing things that would pad his applications. Dh and I both went to highly selective universities and both of our alma maters seem to have become ridiculously difficult to get accepted in the ensuing 25 years. It was driving me bonkers. We are in an area that is *very* snooty academically. As in, no one cares if you drive a 15 year old Saab (or even better, Prius!) but tongues certainly wag about whose kid got in where and why so and so didn't make the cut. My friends told me to breathe, and more importantly, let my ds BE himself. Ds would no more do some volunteer work or summer enrichment that he didn't feel passionate about than fly to the moon (I imagine there are probably some kids working on moon flight for THEIR applications, lol!) They said that ds WILL get in a school that is good FOR HIM, and that if he wants to try a stretch school or two...they think his interview will get him noticed in a good way. He is just a curious, interesting, easy to talk to, friendly person. And that video REALLY makes me glad I am "letting go." For God's sake...sorry my kid hasn't witnessed a drive by in our neighborhood or had to sleep on a thin blanket on a bare floor. Is there anyone actually PAYING for these lovely colleges? In all seriousness, there seems to be a definite bias in favor of applicants in dire financial situations. Do the admissions folk ever, behind closed doors, under threat of death, say, "hmmm, what say we actually pick a few kids whose parents have been saving & investing for the past 18 years to actually PAY our salaries?!" The whole process has frankly become a load of BS and I cannot wait to have it behind me.

The consumer mortgage industry, including construction loans, is largely based on reps and even underwriters who are just checking boxes and really don't have the skills or knowledge to deviate from norms. One of my colleagues was a loan underwriter for a while, her degree is in classical studies (Latin), I dare say that she is not an expert on risk analysis. The problem likely has nothing to do with the OP's construction ability, or the OP's credit, etc. it is just the OP is asking for a loan that several deviations from typical and many banks are simply not interested in that business, mostly because there isn't enough owner-builder financing to defer the marginal costs of more training for their reps and underwriters. I have had good luck with medium sized regional banks. Most regions have a bank that will write portfolio loans and will work with Owner-builders, however, there may only be a single bank willing to do that in a particular region, you should just keep looking. I am sure North Carolina has a few "farmers banks" which can typically be a bit better for this type of financing. --- If that doesn't work out, there are always services like Ubuildit which basically take a fee for construction management and smooth the process of finding subs and financing. These companies are largely just selling their contact list, but that may be what you need. There are Ubuildit offices in North Carolina and they will have banks that are willing to finance their projects.