I'm just curious as to why you wouldn't accept 2 rooms. They could be adjoining, with a door separating them, so it wouldn't be any different than at home where each child is in his or her own room, and you have your own bedroom? That kind of arrangement, I would think, would be suitable. I don't have any suggestions as to locations, but did want to suggest this arrangement for you to consider. You would, of course, keep the access door to the hall locked at all times, but the kids could sleep in one room and mom and dad in the other.

I should have mentioned that we have 4 kids. When they were younger, and we traveled with them, we would always get 2 adjoining rooms, and it worked out great that way.

I'm not familiar with Aruba, but my brother & wife just got back from a week in Jamaica and, although they enjoyed their resort ok, they were more than a little turned off by the crime everywhere outside the resort, it seemed. I've heard the same thing from many people and so we've never gone there.
What about looking into renting a condo of private vacation home instead of just a room? There are some great deals out there and more so this year. We like this route instead because it gives us more room to spread out, a living room to relax in and a kitchen for at least some of our meals. I like having a fridge to keep snacks, drinks and breakfast things in. It may run a bit more than a room, but the savings you get from breakfasts and even lunches in can make up for the difference. For me, though, the biggest advantage would be the extra space and not having to get little ones ready for restaurant breakfasts. Plus, when somebody needs a nap, there's abedroom or bedrooms with doors for quiet and the everyone else can be elsewhere in the home/condo enjoying themselves.
Although not the Caribbean, we just reserved a condo for a Spring trip to Galveston Island, and found the selection to be priced very near or the same as that of a single room. The choice was a no-brainer for us.
As for specific Caribbean resorts, I don't have many to suggest as, like I mentioned, we tend to rent homes or condos, but I can comment on some of the islands.
Peter Island is nice, but was on the expensive side. It has a reputation of being very safe, though.
Tortola, which is nearby in the British Virgin Islands is lovely, with a rain forest and mountain in the middle of it. I don't think there's a traffic light on the entire island, just roundabouts, but it's got beautiful beaches and is very laid-back. We especially like the north shore area, which has great vacation homes on the beach to rent. This would be the Long Bay, Apple Bay to Cane Garden Bay area. It's a very safe place to vacation. For a resort there, my choice would be The Sugar Mill, but probably not for small kids. The food is fabulous there, though!
St.Thomas is fun and easy to get to. It's congested, though, and the traffic -and parking!- can be daunting at times. We rented a home there in the Peterborg Estates area overlooking Magen's Bay and it, like most there, came with its own gorgeous pool. The Coki Bay area is especially congested as is it's public beach. The two times we went, the air was redolent with the strong scent of pot . . . but the people are very nice. For resorts, the Marriott Frenchman's Reef Resort was very nice, although we didn't stay there. We had two lunches at the outside restaurant on the beach at Belongo Bay. It looked like a nice place, as well.
St.John is flat-out gorgeous. Lush, green, tropical and it's very safe, from what we've seen and heard. We lovew it! The beaches are lovely and the water crystal clear.
St. Martin/Sint Maarten: it may have just been us, but we weren't very impressed with this island. It came across as too crowded and a bit too commercial, but we did run across some pretty views and places.
Puerto Rico, outside the cities you can find some nice places, but I wasn't crazy about it myself.
Hope you find someplace that works for you. Let us know where you end up going.
Lynn

My brother and his wife love Aruba. Twice they've stayed at the Bucuti and it's their favorite. The last two times they reserved rooms right on the beach but those are 'no children' rooms.

They also said that the Marriott in Aurba was a great place for families and they stayed there when they took their 2 kids.

Here is a link that might be useful: Bucuti

We have been to Aruba twice (w/ 3 kids) and in spite of also having been to Paris, London, San Francisco, San Diego, Yosemite, Yellowstone, Disney, etc... Aruba is the one place my kids are always asking to re-visit! They love it. The first time we stayed at La Cabana, which was nice but it was on the smaller beach where there's not as much going on. The second time we stayed at the Radisson, which was fantastic. It's withing walking distance of other hotels, restaurants, etc., the beach was beautiful, and they had very colorful birds living on the property (in cages) that were a big hit for my family. At certain times of day, staff would take the birds out and you could hold them, have them sit on your shoulder, take pictures -- very fun. At both hotels, I believe we had 2 adjoining/connecting rooms, which was perfect. The "kids'" room had 2 double beds and a pull-out or cot (can't remember exactly). We have this configuration almost every time we travel, so it can't be too unusual. You can just leave the door between the rooms open at all times, so it's like a suite w/ 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

Thanks for all your suggestions. After talking to one of my coworkers we ended up booking Aruba. We are staying at an all inclusive resort called the Divi village. We booked a 2 bedroom, 2 bath suite for $3000 for all 5 of us. Our airfare ended up costing only $400 with our travel vouchers. Looking forward to celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary this fall in a sunny tropical place with our children. Since we are on such a budget with all our house renovations, I think its a great value going all inclusive.
Thanks for all your help.