It's more about the whole women being subservient to the man thing at her own expense. That is my soapbox issue.

Sure, I know bad women, and I know bad men, I was married to one of them. I just feel that no one should be subservient to another, man or woman. I just get so sick of women who feel that they need to MAKE their man happy. No one can make someone happy or keep him (or her) faithful...those are core values one has within themselves.

I once had went through a course for people who were moving on from a bad situation and gaining empowerment. Most of the women in the class had been physically abused, all were mentally abused (as was the one man in the class), and most had been either brought up or lived with an alcoholic/drug abusing situation. This course was facilitated by a wise woman and by the end of the 8 weeks, every one of us in the class had gained insight into what it was like living powerlessly and how to accept the respect we were due as human beings. Well, the instructor kept referring to this man's book that really inspired her so she brought him in for a talk at the last day. Turned out he was VERY evangelical (not that there is anything wrong with that!) and he espoused things like the wife should be subservient to the husband & children; the man was the ruler of the house, etc. Man...let me tell you, I walked out of that class as it was the exact opposite of all we'd been taught!

I went on to have relationships with 'good' men...but they were just as toxic as the 'bad' men I met, just in different ways. I finally met a man who respected me for me, and never, ever has expected me to be his keeper, sex object or anything other than his equal. "Dr. Laura" would have coniptions if she met me!

Through her radio show, she dispenses advice to callers, usually from a conservative point of view.

Since what I know about Dr. Laura tells me that her basic ideologies are not in line with my own, I have no interest in reading her books or taking her advice.

Actually, what Auntjen said is my thought exactly ...only from the opposite side. If I'm looking for a self help book, I look for authors I trust and she isn't in my universe.
In my case it would be christian authors that have lived a godly life.

Whereas I don't know Dr. Laura personally and therefore will not express an opinion as to her character, I detest her radio program and whenever I come across it, I switch the station or turn the radio off. I feel sorry for the poor people who call into her show seeking advice because the callers are merely vehicles for Dr. Laura to espouse an overly simplistic black/white view of whatever Dr. Laura has determined is the caller's problem. It doesn't matter whether Dr. Laura has accurately determined what the caller's problem is because the point of the show is for Dr. Laura to espouse her view of the world. Whereas I have no beef with Dr. Laura expressing her view of the world, why does she need callers in order to do that? I can't stand the way the callers are treated and can't assign much value to Dr. Laura's advice given the limited amount of information she has collected before rendering such advice. It's the complete opposite of what a professional would do.

Bumblebeez, one can be a Christian and look to those who have lived a godly life for advice without being a conservative. Just sayin'.
:-)

My DH agrees with her book. He says men are simple in their wants.

Yes......she gives advice she herself has not taken. :0)

Yes, the callers are pathetic to think they need to voice their problems publicly and "this" woman has a quick answer.....but.....that is what the caller thinks. :0)

She also is against the "womans movement". She mentions Gloria Steinem in particular.

But.....a lot of women, maybe unconsciously, DO have sex "X" number of times a week to make sure their man is happy. They fix dinner,mow the lawn, pay the bills, clean the house "and" work full time jobs, making less pay then "him". (statistically women still make less money to do the same job as a man)

So the fact Dr L suggests women stay home with the children, let him work the only paid job, live on one income. Does it set us back......is it realistic?

We don't live in a matriarchal society. That is evident, but could women progress forward if we had better role models.....? Are we wired to be mothers of our children and nurturers of our men?

Sounds like Dr. Laura espouses a traditional lifestyle that works beautifully for many, and couldn't possibly even be applicable to many others. I don't have much room in my head for anyone who believes that there's one true/right definition of a family or a marriage - or pretty much anything else for that matter.

I work fulltime. My DH is a househusband, and a damn good one at that. We don't have children, and never will. DH nurtures me, and I nurture him. Our "roles" are not so clearly defined that we are incapable or unwilling when it comes to shouldering burdens of any kind for one another.

I can't relate to any mindset that believes there is such a thing as "one size fits all" in life.

Ditto, ditto, DITTO what Aunt Jen said!

Ours is not what many would consider a traditional lifestyle either. We chose not to have children. We both chose to work outside the home. Like Auntjen and her DH, we nuture each other. We are a team and we pretty well split duties, etc. up in our home. Of course there are some things that each of us do better than the other.

Have sex to keep the man happy?!! HA! Sex should be for both partners. We neither one expect the other to *make* us happy.

Again, Auntjen hit the nail on the head - there is no one size fits all in marriage.

To be honest, I've never heard Dr. Laura's radio show and actually only seen her a time or two. I've read more than I've seen of her, and what I've read, I haven't agreed with or liked. I'm not big on going to a tv/radio personality for help.

Again, to me, to read her book or spend any time listening to her, would be a complete waste of my time.

tina

"Oh, oooh, ooooh" as Arnold Korschack on "Kotter" would say.

My DH and I also do not have a "traditional" relationship. I've known him for 39 years and have been married for 3. I've lived full time in Portland for 9 years and DH still works in L.A. We really, really like and respect each other (I intentionally didn't mention "love" because, to me, "like" is really more important. You can love someone, but not like them.) There is a significant age difference...well, I could go on...but being in a "non traditional" relationship works for us.

Is anyone old enough to remember Marabel Morgan and "The Total Woman" book from the 70s? I thought we'd gotten past the "meet him happy at the door, feed him well and have sex whenever he wants" advice for keeping your husband happy, but I guess it continues with some people. That mindsight makes ME unhappy.

Exactly, jboling. All of this talk of "keeping other people happy" is a load of rubbish, IMO. I can't "make" anyone happy except myself. If a man's going to decide he wants to leave a relationship, he's going to leave it one way or another. He'll check out physically or emotionally, but he'll definitely check out if he so chooses. I believe the very idea that women should do certain things to cajole a partner into staying is misguided at best.

I do remember Marabel Morgan's book. I checked it out of the library when I was a young bride at 21 and attempted to buy into the ideas presented, but even then there was something about the whole thing that just didn't quite ring true.

I really like what Marlene said about liking one another being the most important thing. I agree wholeheartedly. I think mutual admiration and respect and consideration (yes, even politeness) are chief among the traits of a successful, happy marriage.

Now I can not wait to read this book. LOL! I've got to be the only person on the planet that doesn't know much about Dr Laura.

As much as I deeply abhor the whole retro 'Stepford Housewife' philosophy -- and I really do -- I do have to admit that there IS something to it.

I find that if I give first, 99 times out of 100, my husband (and sons) will give back -- as much or more. Often more. And when they do for me first, I genuinely want to reciprocate. So most of the time, we have this mutual escalating 'Let's do something nice for Mommy/Daddy/Sonny' thing going on that can really be quite nauseating for folks in average marriages. ;-) Do they respect me less? Heck no! They appreciate my contributions and I appreciate theirs. If I make an extra-good dinner, one of them will almost certainly do the dishes. Or if I'm tired and indicate I'd prefer a night off, one of them will happily cook and clean, so the next day, I feel like it's my turn to do something extra to show how much I appreciate their pitching in.

And I think that's really the approach these books are advocating.
Do something nice first, regularly -- and if you have a good man, you'll get back plenty and have a really happy marriage.
As for the really hoakie right-wing conservative stuff about homosexuality, religion, pre-marital sex and head-of-the-household stuff?
Baloney and Hog Wash! Yuck! Phew! No way and Heck No! I don't buy that for a second.

But what man doesn't enjoy a great meal, frequent whoopie and a lack of nagging?
(For my man at least, I find that if he gets good food and good lovin', I get what I want without ever having to nag.)

"I really like what Marlene said about liking one another being the most important thing. I agree wholeheartedly. I think mutual admiration and respect and consideration (yes, even politeness) are chief among the traits of a successful, happy marriage."

FWIW - I'd also agree with this, and suspect even Marabel Morgan and Dr Laura would too.

Consider the source~~'nuff said.

Youngest DD thinks she's found the key to a happy hubby, look good and cook good! Seems to work for her. ;o)

But what man doesn't enjoy a great meal, frequent whoopie and a lack of nagging?

Hell, I'm not a man, and I'll take any of these anytime I can get 'em! ;-)

Sweeby, this is EXACTLY what DD and I were saying. We have great men. Besides good food, good loving and no nagging, I will add this: Never complain about your DH in public to anyone or put him down. My DH bends over backwards for me. He does the dishes every night. If I start to do them, he always says, "Let me do that."

DD and I really wonder what *men* think about what she wrote. This is why we decided to read it out loud to our DHs and open up conversation.
I know too many women who just make demands - nagging and complaining the whole way. My mom used to say that you can catch more flies with honey...

Sweeby:

"As for the really hoakie right-wing conservative stuff about homosexuality, religion, pre-marital sex and head-of-the-household stuff?
Baloney and Hog Wash! Yuck! Phew! No way and Heck No! I don't buy that for a second."

Amen to that too.

Just for the record, about an above post, if I remember correctly, Dr. Laura just thinks the Mom OR DAD stays home with the kids while they are small. So, in her opinion, it doesn't matter who brings home the bacon.

There are some CRANKY ladies out there! (I am talking about her callers) And, maybe they didn't start out being that way, but, need a reminder that to stop nagging so much. I know, with my pre-menopausal stuff, I had to MAKE myself be nice to my family. They shouldn't have to live day to day in misery with me being a cranky witch! HA! I think for a little while, but then, get over it and start taking charge of yourself. It is easy to fall into that frame of mind.

Who are these women that nag so much? I honestly can't think of any women I know that nag. What a stereotype! Unless, of course, it is nagging in the eyes of Laura to remind people in the family to do what they are supposed to do when it needs to get done. That is not nagging, that is being the household administrator.

I asked my DH tonight how he would feel if I declared that he was 'simple",and all it would take would be a nice meal, a smile, and 'favors' in the bedroom and he would be happy and agree to anything. He said that real men want more out of a meaningful relationship than that. I told him that i thought he would rightfully be insulted if I made him sound that way.

Don't get me wrong - there are lots of ways to be married, and you gotta do what works for the two people in your particular circumstances. But for us, we both expect SO much more out of our relationship than food and 'favors'. After 25 years of marriage (June 2th - inside joke) we have moved beyond that.

Posted by olliesmom:

"Just for the record, about an above post, if I remember correctly, Dr. Laura just thinks the Mom OR DAD stays home with the kids while they are small. So, in her opinion, it doesn't matter who brings home the bacon."

If you can link to a quoted article where she says that I would love to see it. Because that would mean she flip-flops in her advice depending on how convenient it is for her and what her current whims are. She probably has to backpedal occasionally because people are going to wonder why she was not a SAHM preferring a high profile career for herself - The 'ol "Do as I say.......not as I do."

Actual quote from interview:

Dr. Schlessinger: I recommend that during the first three years, the mom should be at home because all of the research shows that the person whose body you come out of and whose breast you suck at, at that stage, really needs to be the mom -- unless she's incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial. After that, flip a coin.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123913529589098057.html

Here is a link that might be useful: Interview

Sweeby, I get what you are saying and agree with that completely. It's the same way at our house. And LOL most of us (women) would enjoy the good food, good sex and lack of nagging too (who wouldn't?).

LIKING your mate is an absolute must for a happy marriage! I agree you can love someone but not like them very much (not a very happy situation).

"But for us, we both expect SO much more out of our relationship than food and 'favors'. After 25 years of marriage (June 2th - inside joke) we have moved beyond that. "

Les, that is so true. We expect more and we deserve more. I don't think many men would like being called simple. Happy (early) 25th! We're at 28 years but it took a bit more than food, sex and lack of nagging.

tina

dilly, you are wearing me out! That is the best case scenerio, if mom can stay home. Can't always be that way. You seem to have much more time on your hands to research this stuff. I really don't care if people listen to her or not. You clearly are a Dr. Laura hater and all she stands for. I get it. We could go back and forth forever, but, I don't care to spend the time. Just thought I would put my measley 2 cents worth in.

I certainly don't disagree with you Les, about there being much more to a good marriage than good food and fun in the bedroom.

But if you simply decided you didn't want any more sex with your husband and that you were 'done' with cooking -- What impact would that have on your marriage? Note that I'm not talking about situations where one partner can't perform in the bedroom or in the kitchen -- just when they won't.

And no, of course men aren't that simple -- well, many of them aren't. But some are pretty darned close! And for a man's 'happiness baseline', good food, great sex and no nagging sounds like a pretty good starting point...

Sweeby, that's how I feel. And, when you have that starting point of good food, great sex and no nagging, then it almost always leads to the deeper things you can get out of marriage, like, more meaningful and deeper conversations, more fun, and you could actually end up liking that person more. So, in turn, the woman wins, because most woman would like better conversation, etc.

I think I just added the "good meal" part, not sure if Dr. Laura thinks that or not-HA! We LOVE food at our house!

les, like my post said, callers that call into the Dr. Laura show. I'm not perfect and have caught myself nagging, but once I have recognize it, I stop it. I think there is a difference of nagging and reminding someone of what to do.

In the past, I have heard Dr. Laura tell callers that if their marriage seems to be in trouble to stop nagging, meet hubby at door with a hug and kiss, give him more sex and just see if that changes things in their marriage. In most cases, I would agree. Now, I don't think she expects women to read the book to them, not that it's a secret, but, let him think it your idea and just see if it changes things for the better.

So what would DL say if a wife complained that her husband withheld sex, didn't help with laundry, never lifted a finger toward cooking and complained constantly about how the wife watched Dancing With the Stars rather than clean the bathroom?

Oh, I've known some nagging women. I can still hear one in particular - her screeching whiiiiiine when she wanted her (now ex) husband to do something. In my younger years I too have been guilty of nagging in an attempt to get my way. It just doesn't work. Nobody - male or female - wants to be nagged and ragged on constantly.

I find it rather humorous that the stereotype of women being the ones to do all the cooking is still so prevalent. Maybe that's how it still is in most households, but in my own (and in a number of others that I am aware of) the women haven't touched the stove in years. My dad enjoys cooking and all of the attendant work that goes along with it, that he doesn't even want my mom "in his way" in the kitchen anymore. ;-)

Good food, sex no nagging...= happy home starting point. What's not to agree with. :0) I think what she's adressing is pratical advice. It's not that far fetched in my opinion. You put your best foot forward and others will step up. So here's another quote:From the introduction, paragraph 2.

"What further puts me in boggle overdrive is how seemingly oblivious and insensitive many women are to how destructive they are being to their men and consequently to their marriages. Women will call me asking if it's allright to go off on extended vacations "without him" when they want some freedom or R&R,or if it's okay to cut him off from sex because their annoyed about something or just too tired from their busy day , or if they really have to make him a dinner when he gets home form work because it's just too tedious to plan meals, or if it's okay to keep stuff from him(like family or financial issues)because his input is unnecessary, or if they're really obligated to spend time with his family(in-laws or stepkids), or if they really have to show interest in his hobbies when they're bored silly by them, or----well, you get the idea."

Why is she portraying women as the ones with a problem?

I agree in today's world, as many men cook as women.

tina

Really? So Dr. Laura would say I'm neglecting my marriage if I refuse to spend time with DH while he watches wrestling on tv? ::snort::

Yes, it is perfectly fine to say, "Sorry honey, I'm too tired to have sex tonight." It works both ways. Is Dr. Laura suggesting it's not ok? Because if she is, I don't what planet she lives on, but I'm not about to subject myself to more physical effort if I'm sick or exhausted.

Yes, it is perfectly fine for a woman to take a vacation without her husband. My DH doesn't ever want to go to England again. I do. I will, one of these days, probably with my mom. And I'm certain my marriage will remain intact while I'm away.

In this one little paragraph, I personally find quite a few things that are objectionable.

Regarding the cooking, my DH is a much better cook, than I am, but, since I am a SAHM, I make sure we have the food at home TO COOK. He likes to cook and does quite a bit. I get the job of dishes-YUK!

auntjen, no she's not saying that on your first two questions. I think she is talking about if you did that ALL THE TIME.

Also, the book we are talking about is the one DL wrote about MEN. So, that is why it is about how to treat the men in our marriages. I truly don't think she expects you to stay in a marriage where someone treats you bad. Some men are just BAD. Never should have married them in the first place.

I made a point to listen to her in my car on SIRIUS radio, since it has been a few years, and wanted to get the scoop on her-HA! She actually told this one caller to leave her husband, who was mistreating her children (his stepchildren). So, you really have to read her books and listen to her often to get what she is really saying. Snippets don't do justice.

Auntjen, I don't think you would ever like what she is saying, from what I gather, but, to each his own, and you sure don't have too. I have a really good friend that doesn't like her either, takes us all to make the world go 'round.

OK, but why are you singling me out? I'm not the only one who has expressed a strong *ahem* dislike for Dr. Laura on this thread. ;-)

lol I never thought of Dr. Laura as controversial. I guess she is. Eyes opened. :0)

Intro quote:

"I have never gotton a complaint from a male listener in twenty-five years on the radio over my assertion that men are very simple creatures. They agree. I have explained time and again on my radio program that men are borne of women and spend the rest of their lives yearning for a womans acceptance and approval. Unless you've got a man with a frank mental or personality disorder(the exception, not the rule),men admittedly are putty in the hands of a woman they love. Give him direct communication, respect, appreciation, food and good lovin', and he'll do just about anything you wish--foolish or not. "

Another member of a "complex" marriage here who doesn't have much respect for any "doctor" who puts so much emphasis on the "symptoms" without trying to figure out the underlying cause for those symptoms.

I mean, rather than just opening your legs more often, wouldn't it make more sense to figure out why you have little desire to have an intimate and passionate relationship with your life partner? Maybe it's just me but my husband does NOT want me "putting out" just because I feel like I should. If I am not into it, he can tell and that is not what he wants... maybe he is rare.

Or if you find yourself nagging your husband, maybe you should try to figure out why your partner disrespects you and the household that you have built together to the point where he needs to be nagged to do things he should be doing without even being asked. Yeah I sometimes have to remind DH to do stuff but if it gets to the point of frequent reminders, we talk about why and what is going on to make it that way.

We have "only" been married coming up on 12 years but I love him more now than I did when we were dating so I guess we must be doing something right. Communication has always been key for us - we talk about EVERYTHING and work things out while they are small rather than waiting for them to grow huge.

Personally I think it's more important to tell your partner you love them every day and mean it rather than having a gourmet 5 course meal on the table every day but luckily DH agrees with that.

Perfectly said, kgwlisa. To state, as was earlier, that a husband is a simple creature who is kept happy by a wife who regularly dispenses smiles, food and sex is disrespectful to lots of husbands. Opinions on what makes a happy marriage all come down to what kind of guy we're married to and our individual situations. I don't like anyone telling me what I should do to be the perfect wife.

I think the secret in keeping good relationship (marriage or any other) is to figure out what are the other person's needs/wants are and satisfy them. If all your DH wants/needs is to have good food, good wine, and good sex then yes, Dr. Laura's recommendation would work. Unfortunately, that's not always the case.

Most conflicts I've seen in relationships are when 1 partner wants something which the other partner cannot give. For example, a friend of mine got divorced because her husband wanted her to convert to Judaism but she wanted to stay with her faith (Catholicism). She also wanted the children to be raised in both religions while he wanted them to be raised strictly as Jewish. In this case, no amount of sex, food or wine (which she provided aplenty, I'm sure) can satisfy him.

Most marital dissolution came down to unmet needs, I think.

Auntjen, no need to get upset, I was just answering some of your questions. Didn't mean to single you out. I was actually trying to be nice to you.

Oh gosh, I wasn't "upset." That's what ;-) generally implies.

Bella, IMNSHO, your friend should have figured out all of this *before* the marriage. If religion was that important to me, I would think not discussing religion prior to marriage would be a gross error in judgement.

Marriage is a business deal as much as it is a love relationship, IMO. A mates relationship with money, religion, values and even political views is just as important as love.

A mates relationship with money, religion, values and even political views is just as important as love.

I think this depends entirely on the two people in question. I have seen many relationships work, and work very well, where the partners held what might be called polar opposite views on topics such as religion and politics. I think problems arise when one party feels that they have all the answers; that their way is the one true way, and sets about trying to convert their partner. If a topic is so important as to be a deal-breaker, then surely that should be discussed at the very early stages of the relationship - but what happens when people change over time? Because they do, you know! Ideals and beliefs - political persuasion, for example - can evolve and become something completely different than it was in the beginning. Then what? (Just throwing this out there as food for thought, by the way.)

IMO, there can be room in a relationship for differing beliefs - so long as both partners respect the other, allow room for those differences, and maintain a humility that acknowledges "hey, maybe I don't have all the answers".

I used to think "my" marriage was unconventional.:0)(not now I see Sandra Bullock or Tiger Woods in the news and compare). I got married at age 19, because we were already living together and had known each other for 2 months. :0) Went to college. Got a degree in CIT & a job @ IBM. It's 31 years later. If I'd called Dr. Laura 31 years ago she would have given me a piece of her mind. :0) I admire Dr. Laura. Maybe it's just because she's not trying to hurt anyone, not becasue she's right.....? Her wisdom seems to be more common sense(country bumpkin type) than psycho babble.

My son and I listen to Dr. Laura in the car on the way to hockey practice - it's become sortof a ritual! We just roll our eyes at some of her comments - and he's 11 years old, so I find it interesting when he disagrees with her. He thinks she's so mean!

I do think she's a bit over the top on some things - there is a gray area in a marriage. To her everything is black or white. I don't agree with her totally on her views that the wife or hubby needs to stay home with the kids - she's really anti working mother. I think it really has to depend on the financial situation of a family. For me, it would be far more stressful on my marriage for us to be living paycheck to paycheck so that I stayed home with the kids vs. working and having a little breathing room financially.

I do agree with her 100% though on her views of putting your children first. I am amazed at women who call up and talk about how their husbands are not treating her children right (their step children). They want to know whether they should stay with the hubby even though he hates her kids and is mean to them. She doesn't believe in staying in a marriage where there is abuse or neglect. She just believes strongly that you shouldn't have any kids until you're married and in a stable relationship because divorce is a terrible thing for a child. I do agree with her on this point, but of course, this doesn't always work out as we all know. I think she just harps on this over and over because she really thinks people should think long and hard before they get married and have kids.

I also love the ones where a divorced man or woman will call up and say they want to move across the country or out of state because they're going to get remarried. They want to know whether Dr. Laura thinks it's ok for them to move away and leave their kids. I mean seriously, who could think this is a good thing for your kids? Unless of course, you are a terrible, abusive parent.

golddust: I think when my friend was young & in love, religious difference was a pretty much non-issue for them. They weren't that affirmed in their faith. Only later in life, that their interest in their faith deepened.

I don't listen to Dr. Laura but DH does in his car. He's brainwashed into believing that all he wants is good food, good sex, and no nagging. Thank you Dr. Laura -- you make my life so easy LOL :-D (j/k) :-)

"IMO, there can be room in a relationship for differing beliefs - so long as both partners respect the other, allow room for those differences, and maintain a humility that acknowledges "hey, maybe I don't have all the answers". AJ
James Carville and Mary Matalin are a great example of exactly this kind of relationship working.

Reminds me of an old movie with Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin about training your hubby using a dog training manual.:)

Anyone remember Marabel Morgan's The Total Woman, from the early '70? She promoted total subservience to your man, something about meeting him at the door wearing only Saran Wrap...

I guess this same story just gets revised and reprinted every few years.

"Anyone remember Marabel Morgan's The Total Woman, from the early '70? She promoted total subservience to your man, something about meeting him at the door wearing only Saran Wrap..."

Hmmm, if I did that my husband would tell me to be sure it could be recycled after I took it off :).

Ann

lehcate......I've done some research on Judism. My father was Jewish. Loving an adult with other beliefs, then wishing to protect your own child is the key here.

I've never heard the name Marabel Morgan, but the saran wrap thing rings a bell. lol funny stuff!

caroleah.....I agree. I can't believe some of her calls!

bellaflora...my DH thinks sex, food & no nagging too. :0) Dr. Laura may have stumbled onto something there.....

Going to go bake oatmeal raisin cookies, then run 5 miles so the sarah wrap sticks...

James Carville and Mary Matalin are a great example of exactly this kind of relationship working.

They were one of the couples I thought of as I wrote that!
:-)

AuntJen, I agree that differing opinions can definitely work in a marriage, but it depends on what those differences are.

Politics is one thing I could see people having lovely discussions regarding their differences. Religion too - to some degree. Money - way differing opinions on this one I see a major issue in a marriage. If one person is a crazy spender, and the other not - even having separate accounts can't bridge this over the years.

I also think if you don't have kids, you are much more accommodating of others individual preferences, beliefs etc. But once you throw in a few kids, things change. Religion is a biggie especially between Jews and Christians. There's some real fundamental differences here - how do you raise your children to appreciate both religions? I would find this very confusing to children - you have to pick one at the primary and then perhaps expose them to the other religion and allow them to choose when they're older.

I too believe marriage is much more than just sex and having a good time with someone. If you don't have some core values shared between you, it makes what is already a difficult partnership over time even harder. Add a few children and all of a sudden life is alot more difficult and you start to wonder - what did I see in this guy?

I understand what you are saying, Caroleoh - but I think it depends entirely on the people involved. There are so many variables among individuals that it's impossible to say that a Jew and a Christian couldn't compatibly raise children. I will agree that children bring further considerations into a relationship, but I cannot agree that they always cause a couple's differences to be insurmountable problems.

If your man thinks and acts like those cited in this book, don't care and feed him; rather, seek a divorce. Fortunately there are plenty of real men who don't act anything like those she writes about.