A bit of a different slant--Father of the groom shenanigans. When we got married, I bought my fiance a nice navy suit, which was quite the chore back in the day before there were lots of options for tall guys; he is/was 6'4" and 180 lbs. Anyway, I found a nice 3 piece suit in a conservative navy. My father had a nice suit in a conservative navy. I asked my future FIL to wear a nice suit in a conservative navy. At which point he went out and bought a nice suit in a conservative BROWN! I was sooooo angry at him, and since he was the best man I was convinced my dream wedding image for the guys was ruined. So, on our wedding day there was my FIL resplendent in his brown suit. I was still a tad miffed, right till we were all leaving the church and as we walked out the doors, he suddenly gave me the world's biggest hug, with the joyful comment 'now you're part of the family!' and the world's biggest smile to go along with it. He's gone now but thinking of that moment still makes me smile every time. It was a good lesson too about whats important and what's not on a wedding day. Happy memories come from what we do and say, not what we wear...have a wonderful wedding! Ann

DLM, I don't think PC expects to look 25 again. I'm assuming she just wants to look the best she can for her age, as most of us do. From personal experience, I just couldn't stand the added weight in the midsection. I'd never had it and couldn't get used to it. It was physically uncomfortable for me (I am not overweight, exercise regularly and eat healthy, yet none of that mattered to my midsection). Anyway, cool sculpting didn't work for me. I'm still upset with myself for having done it. I then had smartlipo and am very glad I did. My clothes are so much more comfortable and I even wear swimsuits again. I've also had facial laser, the first one being CO2 laser about 15 years ago around my eyes. It completely vaporized the unsightly crow's feet (these weren't cute little upward crow's feet, they were cross hatches) which began developing in my early 20's. The dermatologist also did it a little on my lids which provided a lift. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself (smartlipo and lasik eye surgery for presbyopia being the others)! About three years ago I had "fraxel co2" laser on my face and wasn't as impressed with the results. This was performed by a family practice physician who has jumped on the cosmetic procedure band wagon. It didn't eradicate lines but did improve skin texture, clarity, etc. The first laser was performed by a board certified dermatologist who specialized in cosmetic procedures. She gave me numbing cream as well as some injections. After that there was little discomfort though the recovery was fairly lengthly. I couldn't leave the house for two weeks. I don't know if that is still the case with CO2 laser but even if it is, I would still do it again. With the fraxel, only numbing cream was used and it was quite painful. I do wonder if it would have been as uncomfortable had I gone to a cosmetic surgeon or dermatologist (we no longer live in the same state as the dermatologist I originally used). PC, good for you for looking into the various options available to you. I know it can be daunting. It's easy to feel silly and/or be intimidated by how others may judge you. But I hope you'll do what is best for you. I suspect you are a very young 71 and want to look as young as you feel (or as good as you can for your age). Please keep us posted!!

This may send this thread into a whole other topic, but (and this is just my opinion!) I think oral sex is much more common now than ever before. Not to say it hasn't been done forever, but I think there's a trend for kids to want to say they're virgins when they're married, and they don't think of oral sex as losing their virginity...thus there's much more attention paid to that area with a razor/wax/whatever. It's getting more "face time" (HAHA!). When I talk to my kids about sex, they say that's what "most kids" are doing, oral sex, not intercourse. Just a theory. For the record, I think it's much more common for a guy to "manscape" than ever before. In my circle of friends, the women generally prefer to groom themselves with a "landing stip." I'm in my mid-forties.

Everything you mentioned is something where someone or something is being hurt... When I see people dressed as in the "befores" I posted above, I do see someone being hurt. Just because they are hurting themselves and have every right to do it, doesn't mean it doesn't send a message and evoke an emotional reaction. With the many makeovers on "what not to wear" and other programs, there were some common themes including some women felt a need to show a lot of skin to attract men, but then couldn't understand why they were attracting the wrong kind of man. Some women had low self esteem and never felt that they were beautiful or attractive. Some women simply had no idea of how they were perceived. Others didn't do better because they didn't know how. One woman who had been an exotic dancer was told that her street wear was perfect for that job. She was the one who pinned a raccoon tail to her backside. After her makeover she dumped her loser boyfriend, went back to school, and made a career for herself. She said that none of that would've happened if she hadn't gotten the makeover which showed her she was more deserving of respect from herself.