I need some more sage advice...

14 years ago

the other night I backed into a pole for a chain link fence. Naturally, since I drive a big pick up, the pole is MUNCHED. I wasn't sure if I did it, I thought I'd backed into the curb, so I called my son when I got home and asked him to check for me (not a scratch on my truck). Because I was responsible for this, I asked my son to go to the neighbors house (I was leaving my sons house when I did this) and give them my contact info since I wanted to pay to fix the pole. He called me back and said they'd just left as he was heading over there, but he put a note with my contact info and description of what happened on their door.

This happened on Monday, and we're almost to Thursday now. No calls from these folks. My son tried to contact them again (he said the note was gone) but they were not home. So what do you think I should do? I'm thinking of going over there this weekend and trying to talk to them.

I won't file an insurance claim, it won't cost more than $50 total (that includes paying my son to take out the old pole and put in a new one). I'm wondering if they figure the fence pole is inside some bushes it doesn't matter?

I NEED to put karma back in balance here...suggestions?

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (7)

CaroleOH
14 years ago
I think since your feelings of setting this right are so strong, I would personally drive over there Saturday or Sunday - check with your son to see if it looks like someone is home.

It may very well be that they don't care about the fence post, but I would want to hear it from them directly.
graywings123
14 years ago
In my opinion, sending the note returned you to karma neutral. Let it go.
Related Discussions
I need some more GW advice please
Q
Comments (10)
I agree in that you should only play a supportive role through this and make it a no drama zone. Just be honest if asked a question (don't sugar coat) and provide them with whatever information they ask. The only thing that would make me cautious, and you didn't mention it is, if you broke up for reasons that involved violence or drugs and/or alcohol addiction for obvious reasons. In regards to the relationship they have with their step father, when you say it's the last nail in the coffin, it suggests there has been other issues. IMHO, kids are very loyal to the people who have always been there to love them, if they do go away it's most likely due to things he's done on his own and not the fact that they've connected with extended family. You know what they say, "you made your bed". My first husband and I divorced when my daughter was still a toddler. He was an violent alcoholic and a wife beater. I always felt that eventually one day that would extend out to my daughter so I made it impossible for him to see her. I would answer any questions my daughter had when she was growing up but did not fully disclose details with her until she was in her 20's and it was appropriate for her to know. By that age it was no longer my call and if she chose to seek him out, she deserved to know the facts of why I made the decision I did. Luckily as it turned out she said she was never interested in knowing him but just curious about what exactly happened.
...See More
i need some advice, i made a mistake
Q
Comments (24)
All I can say is that if I found out that my husband had posted his photos and a profile on an internet dating site, it would be a very, very big deal to me. It would be an even bigger deal if I knew that he was corresponding with other women and (once I found out) told me that he only did it for a "joke" and because it made him feel good to know that other women found him attractive. And then tried to put it on me by saying that it was my fault because things I said or did made him feel unloved. To me, that kind of thing is the start of infidelity. Even if I found out during a time when he hadn't physically cheated, I would see it as him starting down that road. I would have a hard time even starting to put it behind me unless I felt that he fully realized the seriousness of what he'd done and would never, ever do something like that again. If he was still voicing the excuses you've written here, I would think that he still doesn't get it. If you have other problems in your marriage-- and it sounds like you do--I think that this was more than just an inappropriate way to deal with them. This seems more like creating a new problem to add to all of the others. If you do try to work things out, my guess is that this internet flirting thing is going to be one more issue you guys have to address.
...See More
I'm back! Need to make some final decisions. Expert Advice Needed!
Q
Comments (20)
Jpmom, you home is gorgeous already! The 12" crown will look perfect with the already tall baseboards. Then add all the other woodwork in, the fireplace mantle, wainscoting, and pillars in the dining room. So pretty! My first reaction was to continue the white painted woodwork. It seems naturally connected to that bar wall from the the LR and DR with the baseboards and wainscoting. Oh and I also love that transom window above the other doorway too! My other thought was that I know from experience how the backsplash tile can completely change colors due to the lighting and what is directly next to it. I would want the two areas in the kitchen with the backsplash to look related. It may look completely different with one being next a window with white cabs and dark counters verses the other being in low natural light with black cabs and white Quartz. I'd definitely wait to decide on what to do with the bar area until the rest of the kitchen is painted white as Romy suggested. I do think it might look great either way, but I'm just one who needs to see it in real life before committing. I am sure either way it is gonna be stunning! ETA.... Could you possibly find a remnant of the Volga blue to fit the bar top if you went with white cabs on the bar? Or possibly just cut the granite and add a dark walnut type wood butcherblock section that reads dark above the wine fridge? Think romy's dark wood top next to the granite? Just a thought....:-)
...See More
I've founds some bedding that I love! Need advice.
Q
Comments (22)
I'm not good at sewing so I googled how much yards of fabrics one has to use for one Euro sham https://findanyanswer.com/how-much-fabric-do-i-need-for-a-euro-sham#:~:text=This%20means%20that%20you%20require,the%20sham%20portion%20added%20in. so judging by that link-can take up to 4 yards of that fabric to make two shams. If you're doing the work yourself it's only fabric-if no, then of course you'll pay for labor as well. Not a lot in terms of saving. Also take into account it's dry clean only. To me would be a consideration. And I'm not the most change-your-bedding-often person out there. Gorgeous bedding, no doubt, in love with it myself. But many things to take into account. Now a bolster pilow will require less fabric I guess, and will be more decorative(I guess)-one can worry about it being dry clean only less. But in terms of pattern-might be a bit lost in a bolster shape. Their ready made sham is 375$ on their website. 319 $ on Overstock. Maybe to purcase only one? They also have smallish (14 by 14) pillow for 215$. Not sure about that, but as another way of introducing you favorite fabric for less.. I understand you falling in love with it. I'm always falling for the most expensive thing. In a store, online, whenever. Without knowing the price first. My remedy-either very small thing made by same designer/out of same fabric/etc. Or-to borrow from it its idea. Watercolor effect? Big florals? Luminescence? Hues you love? Or you can just buy it of course. Enormous sum of money ..yet they say it's a best seler in a very limited stock, so obvously there are enough people for whom it's not a huge conideration. Do ask about return policy if you're getting in touch with them. This set of theirs is pretty and washable..https://anngish.com/categories/597636/duvet-sets-dash-art-of-home/products/ysetdvsfq-ble/smokey-floral-duvet-set-dash-blue.. only it's 100% polyester, and to me a price still steep for polyester.. I'd do linen (my favorite fabric for bedding, even though cotton percale is great too)..try to find a coverlet that would double as a layer...add a pillow that's reminiscent of the bedding..or one Euro sham of theirs to know you have this exact bedding, only in small dosage.
...See More
nicole__
14 years ago
Yep, you did all you could do to fix a perceived problem. Enough.......let it go. :0)
User
14 years ago
I agree that you've done all you could possibly do, and I think now you just sit back and wait for them to contact you (or your son). You mentioned having your son fix the pole, but I just wanted to point out (something you probably already know - ) since the damage was done to their property, they can have it repaired by anyone of their choice -- which may or may not be your son.

Good luck! Keep us posted.
dilly_dally
14 years ago
I wasn't sure if I did it, I thought I'd backed into the curb.

Maybe you did not do it and it was previously damaged and that is why they did not follow up with you.

Reminds me of the time I got a note on my car about damage. The note was from a "witness" who saw a guy trying to back into a tight space and kept banging the car in front and in back as he watched out his window. He wrote down the lic# of the 'culprit' and gave his contact info as a witness. The damage was already there. No new damage. I never followed up.
neetsiepie
Original Author
14 years ago
Ahhh, thanks for settling my conscience. I'm off work tomorrow and will be in the area, so I'll stop by and see what's up.

Good point, Jen...I was thinking that I'd offer my son to just put up the new pole...but I didn't realize that might not be acceptable. Once a kid ran into and killed our mail box pole (he also crashed into a utility box and messed up his truck pretty badly) and his insurance co paid us & our neighbor $300, based on a contractor tearing out the old concrete, putting in a new pole and 2 new mail boxes. Our neighbor just pulled the old pole out, put in a 4x4 post we had in our shed and we reused the mail boxes.
igloochic
14 years ago
Pesky I'd stop by just in case they didn't get the note. I know we've found notes more than once in our yard that got blown off the porch (we get a lot of wind in our location) so for me, I'd want to be absolutely sure they have it. They might not care, but I know I'd feel better if I heard that in person.

I need some more sage advice...

Comments (7)

CaroleOH

graywings123

Related Discussions

nicole__

User

dilly_dally

neetsiepie
Original Author

igloochic

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

I need some more sage advice...

Comments (7)

CaroleOH

graywings123

Related Discussions

nicole__

User

dilly_dally

neetsiepieOriginal Author

igloochic

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

neetsiepie
Original Author