Just one data point here. Most of the rules Livvysmom listed are at my neighborhood pool as well. 2. No Food, Glass, or Pets in pool area We have the same. People break the No Food part but the No Glass and No Pets are pretty strictly enforced for obvious reasons. 3. Persons having open cuts, sores, rashes or communicable disease are not permitted in pool. I don't think we have quite this rule because the kids always get cuts and the life guards put bandaids on them and send them back into the pool. 4. Children must be toilet trained, and if under 12 must be supervised by a responsible adult. Usually this has to be with health regulations for toilet training and insurance for the under 12. Our pool just changed the age to 12 (from 10) due to insurance. Swim diapers don't contain fecal matter so I'd rather children wearing swim diapers be banned than allowed. This is the first year my four year old son is allowed in the "big" pool because he did not toilet train until after he was three. 5. Adult (age 18 or over) hour is 3 pm-4 pm. 9. Only Coast Guard Approved personal flotation devices allowed, No swim fins, tanks, coins, floats or toys in pool area. The pool allows coins and toys (e.g., pool balls to toss around) but no fins, tanks (!), or flotation devices (waterwings and such). If a child needs a flotation device then the parent has to be with that child at all times. This is actually a safety issue so that parents don't get "lazy" about supervising a child who can't swim. People used to gripe about the flotation device rule until a 6yo child at another nearby pool drowned. He was wearing a flotation device of some sort, went to the restroom, took off the device and did not put it back on. Jumped into the pool. Drowned. The parent or adult in charge was not with the child at any point during this time. It's easy to blame the parent but I think putting a child in a flotation device gives a false sense of security for lots of people. 10. No horseplay, running, jumping or screaming. The extent of horseplay and screaming and jumping is usually up to the discretion of the life guards. Some are strict and some let the children (teens) play if they are the only ones in the pool area. 13. No Diving Obvious safety issues and insurance. We have a diving well. One member brought up the point that if the diving boards (low and high) were removed, the pool insurance would be alot less. The dive team parents objected to this notion.

Jerseystepmom: Amen to your CC post! Our family physician is a childhood friend of my father's from a tiny town in Ohio. He is now the primary caregiver to a prince from the middle east! (The Prince flies here and picks up the Dr. and they see the world whenever he'd like to. The Dr. is over 70 and semi-retired and Jewish so we always laugh as we wonder if the Prince knows the Dr. is a Jew and never got a college degree! We love him.) I mention this because the Dr. never got his Bachelor's degree and got his MD from Mexico! He's a great Dr. and no one asks nor cares where the schooling took place, just that he's a great DR! Lafevm: I think it is so commendable the way you've handled things - repaying your parents, looking out for your skids and your biokids. I have to agree, too, that to me, college should be thought about EARLY! My DH and his X apparently had nothing for the kids saved up. If we get the ins. money from our fire soon, I've already told DH we're doing the pre-paid FL college thing for all three boys. That being said, I thought it was AWFUL that the BM in our case refused to help any of her three kids AT ALL. In fact, she wouldn't even go help them move to college for the first time! I don't think being chained to a room would prevent me from seeing my 'babies' off for the first time...but we're all different. You and I are a lot alike. My parents ALWAYS came over on Christmas w/ gift certificates and cash for my skids. (they rarely got 'thank you cards' initially but it has greatly improved over the years...) TOS: Don't mention that 'co-signing' thing to me! I'm the fool who did that for SS and you know how that pans out...I was told, after the fact, that you should never cosign a loan you aren't willing to view as your own. Sheesh! If I hadn't done it, I'm sure the family would have had a field day w/ that. But, I did it and I believed in him despite his prima donna ways, etc. The BM was over two mos. ago and kind of made fun of me for cosigning. I was very angry. Never was there a "thanks" for anything I did for him and even his sisters. It was just, "I'd have NEVER signed a note for him! What were you thinking?" I said, "Well, I was once in the same boat and my g-father cosigned for me. It was a signature that stood between me and my dental degree and he did it w/ no questions asked. I thought J would finish and pay it back." I added that it wasn't enough money to lose your family over in case she ever heard from him... D

Full disclosure: My husband and I have no children, but we know many people who struggle with situations similar to yours. It's unfortunate and he may or may not be a "good person", but the bottom line here is he's a loser! Toss him out on his arse, change the locks on your house - be sure your car(s) is/are locked and ignore any pleas for help. There's an excellent blog called LIVING STINGY and it addresses many issues and "basement living children" is one of them. It's ridiculous to constantly bail this kid out - he's got to learn that in real life there ARE no safety nets. I'm sure it'll be the toughest battle of your life, but you really have no choice - otherwise he'll nickel and dime you until you have NO money left and that is not acceptable, right? Good luck.

Yes you reminded me Nanny. I should have been more clear on dogs with history and adoptions for the inexperienced. I was targeting the local dog pound type places. Not saying that is always bad either but many of these dogs have history and that can add another layer. The extra layer is something experienced dog people can handle a little better. We once adopted a beautiful abused long coat Retriever from the Pet Mobil. She was sweet to us, her canine brothers and sisters but would out of the blue try to kill other dogs. It was weird. She also did not like men in hats. We had her for twelve wonderful years but she had to be watched. Some if not most of dog rescue organizations that specialize in specific breeds can be great and are my favorite. I went to one such place when adopting my Rottweiler. They only did Rottweilers. We had a very detailed home inspection plus I had to bring my other pets in so they could observe the interaction. Before that I had filled out a form where I described the temperament I was seeking. We got exactly what we were looking for. What a perfect fit and loving dog. Most of breed specialty rescue organizations also have dogs who like and have been around cats if one is looking for that. These type of rescue organizations take the time to make a good fit. They really know the dog. My last adoption was from a rescue group who specializes in dogs that have been sick and or were unadoptable due to behavioral issues. Their days were numbered. My little Brussels/Yorkie mix had been kept in a crate with a sibling with no socialization, filth and not much care. He was sick and would poo and pee all over anyone who held him. However, I was filled in with all the problems and knew what I was getting into. What a loving little character this dog is now. He still has some fear issues when being walked and goes insane when a car passes us but is improving all the time. I'm now down to two.