Great ideas. Tuesday, I'm practical too. (VERY practical!!) They are both in grad school. After reading all your suggestions, I'm thinking I'll hit Costco and Target, focusing on the kitchen. (My first love when it comes to spending money. LOL!)

Knowing them, I can't see them wanting a Kitchenaid mixer but a nice set of pots and pans, a set of reasonable ($$) dishes and maybe some silverware... I would say her taste is retro modern. I'm not sure she is a cook but I don't want to buy bedding as that is so personal and they aren't registered anywhere.

It could be fun to hit Ikea and see how far my $400. could go in housewares...

I would buy one or two really great items and not a bunch of little stuff. People can always pick up towels or the pot or pan form TJMaxx. Or glasses or a cookie sheet.

Personally, I'd get her a good Kitchen Aid mixer and food processor(250 model).
Or else just a Kitchen Aid mixer. Both would be closer to 500.
It will last 20 + years and is so useful and no one else will give her that.

....but a nice set of pots and pans, a set of reasonable ($$) dishes and maybe some silverware... I would say her taste is retro modern. I'm not sure she is a cook

Hmm, if you don't know if they cook, why buy them pots and pans? Of course, if they don't have pots and pans, they CAN'T cook, but maybe they don't want to. Same for the mixer and processor.

For $400, maybe you could give them a lovely weekend at a resort, something memorable rather than practical. Or, ask THEM what they want/need. I'm extremely practical, but I like whimsey now and then, too. When we married 43 years ago, we got a lovely, plain old philodendron that I've kept alive and beautiful all these years, but my favorite gift is the silver-plate cake knife and server that has cut an awful lot of cakes and other things over the years. Just plain sentimental, that's all.

Even if they cook I think most sets of pots & pans are a waste. Much better to buy specific pans. A couple good quality saucepans and skillet would top my list for starting out. Forget the stand mixer. A good handheld would be more than adequate. If they drink coffee a coffeemaker might be a thought.

OTOH, I second Oakley's Williams-Sonoma suggestion. Let 'em choose something that fits their lifestyle.

I would adore a Target gift card. They have decent quality for everything! I know it's not as much fun to give a gift card, but it's gives me great joy to receive one.

I'm not big on store specific gift cards - especially for that amount, UNLESS you know that the couple would like it. If you can't come up with a nice gift for the amount you want, then I'd think about cash. I also like Sherrmann's idea of reservations somewhere. It so depends on the couple, what they like, what they are able to buy, if/what they register, etc.

tina

Some good ideas on here already....

Since you said they need "everything", why not give them that- everything!!??!! LOL! For example, kitchen stuff: instead of spending all of it on a great set of pots and pans (which they may or may not like), what about all those little do-dads like measuring cups, measuring spoons, whisks, spatulas, can opener, cheese grater, garlic press, BBQ set, strainers, pasta spoon, serving set, meat thermometer, carving knife, pot holders, towels, paper towel holder, canister set, etc, etc... You could put it all inside a big wicker hamper, laundry basket, decorative box, etc.

Some things are very taste specific, but generally this stuff is what it is and they'd be all set =)

I bake and I would never plop down the money for a Kitchen Aid mixer. Unless I baked bread all the time which I don't anymore.

Natal, we could go nuts in a W-S! That's my and dh's favorite store if we simply have to go to the Mall. lol.

My friend lives near a 3 story W-S. Not fair!

Seriously, I'd put yourself in the couple's situation, being in grad school, not having anything because of it. I still think they'd love a gift card to choose exactly what they want.

OK, I'm thinking gift card now too. As much as I love buying gifts, I think they would love shopping together!! They have a Costco membership and are great fans. What about a gift card there instead of Williams Sonoma?

Oakley, I make bread, but get by with a portable mixer. Only the wettest of doughs cause me to give the mixer a rest after 5 minutes of use. Not a big deal.

WS has such an incredible assortment of products! If someone gave me a $3-$4 hundred dollar gift from them I'd be like a kid in a toy store.

OK, it's my Max. He called us last night to say he and his GF were getting married today. His middle east college was put on hold because of all the unrest. He just got an acceptance letter from a college (in the states) he is thrilled with but I don't know all the details as my cell phone cuts out badly here. There was so much to talk about and a very bad connection. After 4 disconnects, we went to texting.

Anyway, they both need student loans and marriage helps them qualify. They have been talking marriage for awhile but intended to wait until after college. Her parents do not know but Max couldn't get married without telling us.

They promised to make up eloping to us with a later ceremony with the family and I want to hold them to it. I'd like to give them something nice but not that nice. I'm holding out for the promised ceremony later.

Rob and I are thrilled with our new DIL and have always felt Max would make a great husband and would actually be a much better married person than single. They have a wonderful two year, no drama relationship. They have worked out the kids thing and are in discussion about the kind of dog they want down the road. I know this wasn't taken lightly. (Now if it would have been my other son, he could wake up married to someone he hardly knows.)

So while I am sad we weren't invited, I'm over it. Our family has never been a huge fan of fairy tale weddings. We are much more into the marriage. They sent me photos and we texted all morning. (My land line phone is dead due to storm.)

Robert is funny. He keeps wondering (out loud) how Max managed to land such a great girl. I told him our son wasn't such a bad catch either. LOL!!

I can't see her wanting or using a Kitchen Aid mixer at all. It's a bling appliance and she isn't into bling. It wouldn't get used. My own mixer has been used once this whole year and I love to cook. (I gave my Kitchen Aid to Robert for his shop.) I was thinking a Vita Mix mixer but think they may enjoy picking out their own stuff. I just don't want to give them money just because they got married. I want it to go toward a wedding gift. It may be the only gift they receive.

Congrats Goldie!!!! How exciting! I never thought about it being Max!

I don't think of a KA mixer as being bling if it is something someone would really use. I have seen my mom burn out a mixer motor when she was at the height of her candy making/baking, etc. years. I think it depends on the cook.

Myself, I do not like a mixer out on the counter and finding a place to store a big mixer like that would be a problem. Not to mention that I would not give it enough use to justify.

Knowing them so well, I am sure you will come up with the perfect gift. Again - congrats on their marriage.

tina

i couldn't live without my kitchenaid stand mixer---i had to get the bigger, 6qt bowl size mixer because i often triple recipes and outgrew the 5 qt size!!!

i love to give gifts and am a smart shopper, know what is good/nice to have and know where to find it for less! you could probably find better deals for the quality than a couple of young kids in grad school can. i would get an assortment of things like dixiedo suggested. calphalon often has specials on their sets of saute pans at ws & bb&b...i would pick up a couple of pans and possibly a saucepan or 2, cutting boards, some fairly nice knives, whisks, etc,etc.... essentials for preparing a nice meal. i would spend the money on nicer things that really make cooking easier---things that i bought cheap when i was young and didn't realize how nice good tools, etc are!!
i would pass on things like canisters, towels, decorative crocks, dishes and things like that unless i really knew their style.

if i was going to buy gift cards i would probably buy them for their local favorite restaurant--but, i would still need to buy them a token gift!!

Costco is a great place to have a gift card from because you can buy electronics, office supplies, food and small appliances. When I was a grad. student, I moved a lot and usually had small places. I really wouldn't have wanted much stuff, even useful stuff, because it's a hassle to pack, move and store. I still vote for Target or Costco!

Congrats! That's awesome that Max got married. The biggest question would be; do you have to mail the gifts? I don't remember if he is in the states or not.

For a young married couple like them; I might go to Walmart & get the cheap frying pans- I have a set; we use them all of the time; more so then my good set. Corelle dishes; cutlery. I might put some of it to a Victorias Secret gift card.

I've always had a hand mixer until my one MIL bought me a Krups stand mixer that I used a lot. When it burned out; I never thought I'd want a Kitchen Aid; well I wanted one but couldn't justify the price. My neighbor had one where the bowl raises up; I used it for my holiday baking & had to get one. While it's a pain to store; I wouldn't get rid of it.

The other appliance we use a lot is our large fryer; it's probably 16 by 12. We make all sorts of things in it; pancakes cook great in it; I use it to make fries as well as stir frying veggies.

Well, if it's your son, I would come right out and ask what they want. Tell him you want to get them something special that they need. Or, depending on where they live (I may have missed that -- are they nearby?), tell them you want to take them on a shopping spree and buy some things together. No offense intended, just an opinion, but I don't think I'd give my son or daughter a gift card as a wedding gift. I'd want to get them something more personal.

Is a honeymoon weekend on the agenda? Parents often give that.

Usually, kitchen things are used far more by one half than the other. Really great towels or bedding (quilt? comforter?) would be more for both to enjoy.

oh my goodness...it's for your son!? congrats! i would definitely tell them you would love to buy them a gift and ask them what they would most love to get from you or what they really need.
i would think a guy would be as ambivalent about bedding and towels as he would be kitchen equipment. what about a nice gas grill??? are they able to grill where they live?

If it were me I would love to receive some Cutco knives. I bought a large Chef knife from my neice when she was selling them and instantly fell in love with them They are pricey so I try to buy one piece when they have their sales. The trimmer is one knife I use everyday for just about everything. The table knives are great
, . They cut anything. I think you can have them engraved also. They would have them forever. Only downside is when you first buy them you have to go through one of their representatives(salesman). After that you get the sales catalog. I gave the trimmer as Xmas presents to all my sisters and DILs and my daughter. They weren't impressed when they opened them but constantly tell me how much they love and use it. I sound like a salesman myself.

I just might ask them what they would like also.

Here is a link that might be useful: cutco

They live in San Francisco right now and can't grill where they are but they are planning to move to Sebastopol within the next month. Maybe we should wait until they find a place there. (Currently, they have a room mates situation.)

Yep. I will talk to them. They may love a week end away if they ever get the same days off. Our new DIL has to work tomorrow. Today, they went sailing after they got married. They were going to Napa (to a spa) but heard it was raining there so changed plans to enjoy a beautiful day in the city.

It's hard to believe my baby is married but not hard to believe he eloped. Max has always beat to his own drum and she is just like him. "I love him," she told me. They promised me a ceremony and she told me she felt guilty. I told her not to feel guilty, just fulfill her promise in a couple years.

Oh what a cute young couple! I remember when I was one of those!

My choice would be All-Clad. Maybe a sauce and a sautee pan. They take so much abuse and still last forever. You're paying for quality - not bling.

Congratulations to the new couple!

From It's a Wonderful Life....

Bread - that this house may never know hunger.
Salt - that life may always have flavor.
Wine - that joy and prosperity may reign forever

Add a couple of engraved wine glasses and an inexpensive laptop for the Newlywed students.

They look so happy and in love!

Yes, Congratulations! Now that I know it's your son and what I have read from you about him, I would nix any kitchen things except maybe a great coffee/maker espresso machine if they're into coffee.

I wouldn't really know what to buy someone who is a free spirit- I am assuming they don't have great nesting characteristics like some (me) although that often comes somewhat with marriage.

I thought about an espresso machine but she is a tea drinker. He loves his Latte's and would enjoy the heck out of it. I just bought her a Le Creuset tea kettle and a teapot after Xmas.

Could I really buy a wedding gift I know my son would love but not his wife? LOL! I don't think so, though she wouldn't mind one bit. She is a real sweetie.

Congratulations Mom! And to the newlyweds!! Such an adorable couple!

Ok...I talked to my grad-students. They're in a similar situation, and they said they would definitely prefer cash (but you KNOW what that would be used for!). They said that a gift card might buy a great game system or other toy, but practicality would be preferred. They have a cheapie set of cookware and LONG for something decent. They don't really cook, but they do like to make good dishes on occasion, and the flimsy pans they have are not conducive to a good stir fry.

Plus, a good set (I LOVE my all-clad) is portable, lasts forever, and is always useful. No matter if they live in a tiny studio apartment or a palatial beach front home, they'd be able to enjoy cooking up their mac'n'cheese in a good pan!

My parents got us a nice set of Oneida silverware that I still have to this day, almost 19 years later! I would go for Oneida, because you can always add peices years later if need be, like I had too. You could probably get a service of 8 for $400.00, especially if you find a sale at Dillards, or wherever!

Congrats! They really are cute!! SoundS like a smart couple also!

I would get them a gift also.

You've gotten great suggestions for gifts. I'm sure they'll love whatever you choose. I just had to comment on the photo...their sheer adorableness brought tears to my eyes.

I hope they have a long happy life together.

Beth P.

My MIL gave us many gifts years ago when we married, but one of them was a set of nice cookware. I use it almost every day, 28 years later. Out of all the china, crystal, towels, sheets, silver, etc., the cookware has been my favorite wedding gift.

I asked my new DIL what she wanted and she said a coffee grinder would be really great. She is talking a $40. thing. When I asked about her taste, she texted "Love pastels, bright oranges and yellows. The words vintage, art and wood speak to me."

She may be a girl after my own heart but I'm having trouble seeing pastels and bright oranges together. Maybe her bedroom in pastels and her kitchen ware in Le Creuset flame color?

Congratulations! They are such a sweet couple!

If they really have nothing and are in the process of getting student loans and in school, I'd get them all the practical things they need but can't quite afford. I mean, a weekend away or a luxurious item like a KA mixer sounds really nice and like something they can't (or won't) buy for themselves, but the practical stuff is much more needed.

I still have some of the practical stuff I received when I got married in 1980. And I still use it! Examples, I still have and use a baking pan, knife, corningware, a pyrex bowl with plastic lid, a glass salad set (large bowl with 8 small bowls). Stuff that seemed mundane at the time but starting out with nothing, one needs the mundane stuff.

$400 could really go far towards outfitting a kitchen with necessities.

Do you have an heirloom from your family, something perhaps of yours or one of his grandmothers, they could treasure forever? A piece of crystal, a candlestick, heck, even a plant you start as a symbol of longevity. Now doesn't seem like the right time to be giving things like pots and pans they won't use or run-or-the-mill household items when they really need cash, but a symbol of the past and future could be very meaningful to them. But, then, I'm a sentimental old fool who treasures that kind of thing. A pot? No, I think not.

Good idea about the heirloom but a little early for that stuff, I think. Max said they really need a bed. Currently, they are sleeping on the floor with a futon. I think that solves the problem of what to get them. A marriage bed. LOL!

They are moving in about a month to their own apartment, outside of $$$$ San Francisco. We may wait until then to buy them a bed so they don't have to move it twice.

We're also giving them wedding rings since we're in the jewelry business. We happen to have a one of a kind set that Robert designed and made. I think they are going to love them. Hand carved grapevines and grapes in white gold.

One word "MONEY".

I really don't want to give them money. We already help out with that.

Why does the bridal industry still act like it's 1955? Once upon a time, when people got married when they were 23 and just moving out of their parents' house for the first time, tableware, cookware, and toasters made sense. Now every couple I know who's getting married bought that stuff 10 years ago, and by now they have *two* of all of those things. The last thing they need is a third set.

I've never cared for gift cards. They make it seem like I don't know them well enough to know what they'd really like.

I'd get something that's a non-necessity, something they would never buy on their own but would be glad to have; a keepsake.

Making something yourself (if you're creative and arty) is always a winner too. A one-of-a-kind item made especially for them is so much more meaningful then an off-the-assembly-line gizmo or houseware.

We got married when my husband was in college, and looking back, it would've been fabulous to get several good knives (and a good cutting board-a really cool wood one, perhaps?); and a few good, basic pots and pans-not necessarily a matched set. A frying pan, a pot suitable for cooking pasta, etc. How about a medium sized Le Creuset pot in her favorite color, too?

Flimsy, inexpensive knives or pots just end up being a pain to use, and we couldn't really afford to buy good stuff.

Being a young couple, pots/pans may not be a big issue(good Christmas/1st anniversary gift), but a pretty bedroom could mean more. White down comforter(winter), white Matelasse coverlet or light blanket(summer), down pillows, white 400TC sheets(don't waste your money on Egyptian cotton), and a couple of pretty WHITE throw pillows. All the white is sure to make her feel like a bride. ;o)

I think we're buying them a bed to get them off the futon on the floor so white bedding seems appropriate! Max grew up with maple, beige and white bedroom (with white down comforter). LOL! He'd feel right at home.

As for the heirloom/handmade gift, we're giving them one of a kind, matching wedding bands that are similar to ours (and a family tradition). They are beautiful and represent hours and hours of DH's artistic talent and work. They will never see another set like theirs.

They are planning to move to DC in a couple years (more school for Max) so they will be traveling light for awhile.

Thanks everyone!!!

Golddust, I like the bedding idea~~one's bedroom can be an oasis, and white bedding...need I say more?

Handcrafted wedding bands?? How awesome!! That's a wedding gift in itself!

The best of luck to 'the kids'(that will *never* change), and glad to hear Max will continue his schooling~~smart boy! If they could only see into our hearts((())). ;o)

Wow, isn't that the truth. If they could only see into our hearts... I like the bedding idea too.

What a great group of friends we are here!! Today, they went to visit the Dr Seuss art gallery. Today is his 107th birthday.

Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you. - Dr. Seuss

GD, there was a touring exhibit on Dr. Seuss, and it was very interesting. His wife just happened to be there that day as she was living in LaJolla(CA), which was very close to the Del Mar fairgrounds, where it was taking place. I remember getting my son-in-law "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" since he had recently accepted a position in LA and it was his first 'big' job in the tech industry(and he's still going!!).

Love the 'youer than you' verse! ;o)

I'm glad you passed on the Kitchenaid mixer BTW. As an appliance geek, I know how great the old Hobart-built mixers were that they built their reputation on, but in recent years after KA got bought out by Whirlpool they've steadily cheapened them, whilst maintaining the external appearance of the old ones. Don't expect the kind of longevity your mom's 35-year-old Kitchenaid mixer (or dishwasher) has. It's not the same product anymore, and IMO not worth anything like the prices they sell for.

Statistically, marriages that begin with elopements are the least likely to end in divorce. Many years back when I (inexplicably) almost got married, we were planning to elope. Or more accurately, I wanted to elope; she wanted a big wedding. We never settled that argument, and that's one of the reasons we broke off the engagement. It seems soooo long ago now, almost from another lifetime.

Gosh, I missed all the excitement earlier! Golddust, I offer my congratulations to the mother of the groom! What an absolutely, positively darling couple they make!

Max will be going to DC for school? He's heading to the east coast? Leaving CA? I'm so surprised!

The gifts and support they are receiving sound lovely. They are off to a great start! They are so lucky to have you Golddust! I know you've been a cool mom, and surely you'll make a cool MIL!

Keep us posted with pics and updates!

Thanks again everyone. I asked Max if he was happy to be married a couple days ago. He said, "I'm VERY happy." Isn't that all a mom really wants to hear?

The kids just received news they got an apt in Sebastopol so they are moving out of San Francisco. Courtney has been accepted to Sonoma State for grad school and Max's plans to go to the middle east was upset by all the unrest. The school recommended he postpone his schooling for a semester, much to our relief. Now I doubt he will leave her next semester.

I'm loving having another daughter. I do love my girls! She is a grounding force for Max, who has so much drive he can forget to enjoy the present. I love how much respect they demonstrate toward each other and I'd love to think we had a major influence on showing him what a good marriage looks like. While they are young to be married, Max has always been mature beyond his years and values deep relationships. Robert doesn't think they are too young at all. We all knew he was smitten by her and we certainly approve of her. They are both frugal and have managed to accrue savings accounts - impressive for their age!

Courtney's mom is younger - only 4 years older than Aimee. She isn't that close to her parents but loves her grandmother. I think there is a cultural difference that can be somewhat common when people move to another country and raise their children in a different culture than they were raised. She was raised down South, near San Diego.

Max will stay in the West until she gets through grad school. He is a bit behind her in school due to his middle east travels. While he attended language school, much of his middle east education doesn't count here but he has built an impressive resume, nevertheless. Max has always wanted to go to grad school in the East, where he can obtain more expertise on the Middle East.

I hope to be a cool MIL. LOL! Max says she really loves us and I feel that. The feeling is mutual but I had no doubt Max would pick a good one. They plan to adopt rather than have their own children down the road. This goal is the ultimate compliment to us, since Max is adopted. We'll see about that. The biological need to have a child may surprise them and kick in.

Dubs is really sick right now so I'm pretty tied to the house but when all is said and done with him, we intend to visit them in their new place and set up their bedroom as a wedding gift.

There is a major peace knowing that Max has a partner in life who is willing to support him. I have no doubt that Max will support her any way he can.

When my husband and I were in the post-college stage (26 years ago!) and just starting out, we didn't need much. Our furniture came from the curb. Pots and pans from the thrift shop. Because we were broke, we ate most meals at home. Our friends were all in the same situation. We had lots of friends and had people over all the time and it always gave me pleasure to set a pretty table. I sewed tableclothes, napkins, and was always scrouging around the discount stores for serving ware and glass ware. There was a crate and barrel outlet on Huron Ave. in Cambridge, MA and I hunted there constantly for deals. Anyway, I think pots and pans are nice, but most cooks have one or two sizes they really like and don't use the rest. If she's into vintage maybe you can find some great 40's and 50's inspired table linens? Check out the HomeGoods store for large serving pieces? Some big serving spoons/forks etc.? I like the idea of gathering it all up into a basket. I also think the big glass hurricanes are nice, they can be used for flowers, candles, little soaps, etc.You can basically put everything they need for a nice dinner for themselves or for a larger crowd in a basket.

Enjoyed the update, and what a gorgeous pic of Courtney! I have questions! What is Courtney going to study in grad school? Your son sounds brilliant. Does he want to go into diplomatic relations? You say there is a cultural difference. What is Courtney's background? I did notice that she has a very exotic beauty.

Courtney is a Psych major, hoping to get her Doctorate. She graduated from SFS in June with a 4.0. (Magna cum something.) Her family is from the Philippines. She is a wonderful person. She just sent me a beautiful tote. She bought one for each of us. (How sweet!)

Max has been learning Arabic since he was 17. He hopes to be a middle east diplomat or something similar. Both kids are very bright and focused. They are flying to San Diego tomorrow to pick up Courtney's car that has been stored at her parents for a few years. (Hope the car is prepared to make the long trip to Northern Ca.)

Thanks, Golddust! Interesting! Courtney and Max both sound so smart and well-motivated! I'm sure they'll go far.

There is a large Philipino community where I live. More than 50% of my church is made up of people from the Philippines. The girls, young ladies and older ladies are so lovely!

Will pray for safe travels in the stored car.

My brother lives just outside of San Diego!

Apparently Courtney's dad put new tires and a tune up on it this week. That was sweet and I'll worry less. It's been sitting for almost four years.

It's OFFICIAL tonight!! Courtney was accepted at Sonoma State for her Master's program. She is walking on air tonight and we are so proud of her. Their marriage is off to a great start.

Oh, good, thanks for sharing about the car tweaking!

Congrats to Courtney! That's great news!