Let's see...

1) Only read the happy posts here if you want it to be fun. Otherwise you'll have your mood dampened. And you'll start worrying about things that might never come to pass with your build.

2) Go live far, far away from the building site, where you cannot be contacted. Leave your cell phone at home. Give a Power of Attorney to someone who will have the authority to make all decisions, execute all documents on your behalf.

3) Plan fun, busy, yet relaxing things to do while you're away. Like on the extreme makeover shows where they send the family away to have fun while they build their house. They'll bring you back when it's time to move in!

That's about it. Since you will NOT do those things, or cannot do those things, here are my alternative suggestions:

1A) Decide how much of your time and life's energy you are willing to devote to the build. As you go along you'll learn how to adjust those personal resources to adequately meet the demands of your tasks. Heed the word 'adequately'. Aim to do the least possible; lower your standards; keep everything simple; decide that some things can be done badly. How shocking!

2A) Clear your and your family's schedules for the duration of the build--not just the builder's projected timetable. Because during the build you will have lots of "little emergencies" and "we need a decision by tomorrows" to contend with. If little Johnny has taken up martial arts in addition to another after-school activity, the whole family will suffer. Everyone must scale back their schedule. Everyone must have unscheduled time that is available for the demands of the build. They will feel put-upon, and act martyred and you will feel guilty. But the family will fare better for it. Plan some fun, easily taken up and put-down family activities to fill any unscheduled hours that remain unclaimed by the build. (You will not do this either, because it seems either unnecessary or too burdensome on the poor children; you--and they-- will live to regret that decision.)

3A) Whichever adult has the most flexible schedule, and/or is thought to be the design whiz, will become the most stressed out one. She should, in advance, write into her schedule, inviolable times for favorite stress-reducing activities every: day (20 mins. 3 x daily); week (1 hour away from it all at least 3 x weekly); a monthly 3-day mini-vacation if she borrows a friend's basement to retreat to and sits by the window sipping tea. You will not do this either, since it seems entirely too greedy and you simply can't get away like this. The entire family will suffer as a result and come to resent you for getting snippy, full of sighs, catching more colds, whatever form of nastiness attacks you when you are overly stressed.

4A) Cultivate your sense of humor. Collect cartoons and funny sayings. Develop a mantra. These things will serve you well. Because while the process might not be FUN, it can at least be FUNNY!

Others will fill in here with far cheerier advice than mine. I'm of the school that says, plan for the worst and then you'll be pleasantly surprised.

pinktoes, your #1, 2, and 3 were great ideas. :-)

As for 1A), Great idea to keep things simple.
2A), Kids are in college so just me and DH.
3A), Exercise and trying to find relaxation, great idea!
4A), Humor and cartoons, great idea--I know I will need this.

I agree with you about "Plan for the worst and then you'll be pleasantly surprised."

Thank you for your great ideas!! You were very helpful!!

Trudy

Oh, oh--lucky you! Kids in college. Let me add this, then: spend the $ to send them off on vacations during all their school breaks rather than let them make visits home. That way, no dirty laundry, emergency "I need" shopping trips, accompanying roommates, etc. LOL!

It's really, really hard. REALLY. My only other suggestion is to alter your expectations so that they are more in line with reality. It can really get to you if you try to make everything "just right" and fail to roll with the punches. It isn't so much a "fun" process as it is an interesting, learning-filled, all-consuming (if you let it be) process. I've been amazed so far at how many areas I've been able to learn a good bit about; in areas that are definitely NOT my strong suit. Nice to know that at 60 the brain still works well, and I figure I've delayed the onset of senility by several years just from the brain-exercise.

So, it has some good points. There will be some things you'll enjoy. Try to maximize the pleasure in those.

Ok
1 Be nice to your builder.
2 More important than one be nice to the grunts that are doing the work, cookies, soda and pizza for them will go a long way in getting what you want.
3 Never tell the builder you read on the internet that this is the way it has to be done. Go to the manufacture of said product and get the insulation instructions from them.
4 There is a hundred ways of doing things most all are right.
5 Take lots of pictures, please ask before taking pictures of people some don't like it.
6 Never take pictures of people working on your house with out there permission.
7 Don't go on site and spend a lot of time talking to the workers. They have a break time talk to them then and move on right at the end of it so they can get back to work.
8 Never discuses changes with the workers or subs. All ways take them to the person in charge first and get it in writing before any work is changed.
9 When asked a question about how you want something done by a sub all ways check with the person in charge before answering. A simple oh I like that better from you on the job site could turn into an ugly back charge down the road.
10 Keep in mind that the guys working will all ways do a better job for the nice person rather than the one that snubs there noise at them or has a bad attitude. With that you will get the F that B lets just slap this together so we can get out of here.
11 If some thing is messed up or done wrong it is not the end of the world. It can be fixed point it out politely and if it is not fixed or the builder puts up a stink then it is time to pull out the bad attitude and stand your ground.
Good luck for now