Well, only you really know all the factors, so my advice may not ring true for you.

It sounds like it may not be the time in your life to build. Is that other house the ONLY other option for your family? I think if you look around, you might find another great home that suits your needs better than that one.

As the mother of two active little boys, there is no way in creation I would buy a house where I did not have the ability to kick their heinies outdoors daily for some play and activity in the fresh air. Also, to me, the kitchen is the heart of the home, where everyone gathers, and I would be completely unwilling to compromise on that issue by resigning myself to a tiny, non-functional kitchen. I cook and bake a lot, so I know I would quickly grow to resent it.

I would forgo building and keep looking. Inside of the same 6-12 month time period the home build would take (not to mention all the planning, decisions, etc), the housing market might turn up some real gems, while leaving your stress level alone.

No need to re-type what lkziemke wrote. I agree with everything she wrote! Option #3 is out there and you need to look for it. You can change everything in a house, but you CAN NOT change the location & lot. An average house on a great lot, street & neighborhood is a much better buy than a great house on a lousy lot/street.

Is there a subdivision you love? Send a letter to the owners there and see if anyone will be looking to sell soon. Get the word out to your friends that you are looking for a certain type of house/property.

I think your head is telling you to consider this ready built home, but your heart is not in it. The highway is a real problem..IMO. The 5 acre lot sounds wonderful, sometimes things really are worth the wait. The other option already mentioned is also worth considering.

Thank you for the words. I have been looking for nearly a year and seriiously looking for the past 4 months and believe me there isn't anything there. We are moving to a small community. I DO like the idea of waiting. When you said the kitchen is the heart of the home that makes great sense because that's the way things are at my home now. Everyone gathers in the eating area - seldom in the living area.
I will talk to the builder today and also speak to DH about renting and waiting.. then if nothing else comes up we could build. I am still open to other ideas.
THANK YOU SO MUCH,
Sunny

Great update: The strangest thing happened yesterday. After a night of feeling unsure if we should have sold out house at all and crying over the gorgeous home and knowing it wasn't the right one but sad none the less we went looking at more houses and there's just nothing out there so on a whim we called the builder we have spoken to several times and he met us at some land we had looked at several times. Although we had seen the land fwice before and liked it we didn't know this was IT until yesterday. As my DH was walking through the pasture talking to the builder I was standing on the end dirt road talking to my daughter and I realized we were actually on a small hill and could see for MILES and MILES and as the sun set we watched the flat valley area below us turn golden and it almost glowed and I started to cry and had goose bumps and I turned to see that directly behind me was where my house would be and that this would be my view from my front porch every day and that was it. When DH and I got in the car we both knew that this is what we had been waiting for.
I thank you for your thoughts and telling me to wait and that my heart would lead me and it did.
Now.. I guess I have to start stalking the building a house threads again.
I'll post photos soon.
Sunny

Well, I was going to suggest you wait awhile to build but it sounds like you have already made up your mind! I would say wait only bc of the situation with your son, otherwise everything else you described made me think "definately build". We are coming to the end of building, our house should be ready in about 3 weeks. We sold our current home (which we built 5 years ago) but have been lucky enough to be able to rent it back until the new house is ready. I have a 3-year old and a 6-year old (who has health needs that require extra time and energy each day) and I have to say that building has been very stressful on all of us. We are pretty much exhausted! BUT, with that said I know that once it is done, we will be very happy to have a home that works well for our family on a piece of land that we love. It sounds like you will be in a similar situation, your land sounds perfect! This messageboard has been a great place to get advice/tips/etc and while building may not feeling relaxing or calm you will find a way to make it work. Looking forward to seeing your pictures!

Sunnny,
If you have a builder you trust, the build should not be a stressful as you are expecting. During the process it may seem like it is taking FOREVER, but when it's all over, it doesn't seem like it took so long! Building what you want where you want it is a wonderful thing! Enjoy it!

Congratulations! IMO location is much more important than the dream design. Anything can be changed but the location. Therefore I'm glad you made the choice that's right for your heart and even practically. Yes, building your own house is not a catwalk but if you are interested in design and building it does not have to be stressful. Sure it'll be demanding on your time but you will reap the fruits for years later!

Do stay in touch with GW. You'll greatly reduce your stress if you benefit from the expertise on this forum.

We had the same problem whether to build or remodel our house. We choose to remodel. Negative in remodeling is it took a lot longer then we thought it would and it was more expensive. We found products online at great pricing! Better then local stores. We bought an expensive Jason bath tub for over half off (overstock bath tub at bathtubsandmore.com) but with full warranty. We found faucets online that were only $59 each!

There are days I wish would have built a new house then I could have gotten everything that I wanted. We looked at houses already built, but there was always something wrong with the house. We have kids and animals so no busy highway for us. I live in fear of a kid or dog being hit by a car as it is.

My suggestion would be to find property that is right for you and build a new house or remodel an existing house on it. Location is 50% of package when you buy and more importantly when you sell. My kitchen was small and I hated it, which is why we remodeled and now I have a huge kitchen.

"The home is simply gorgeous"

Then buy it.

In this economy, building a home makes no financial sense at all.

Great update - last Tuesday we were out looking at more houses even as far away as an hour from my office and 30 minutes from DH's (and that's one main reason we want to move is tso get closer to his office) and on a whim we called the builder we've spoken to and he agreed to meet us at a piece of land we had looked at before. The land was OK when we looked at it before but didn't 'speak' to either of us UNTIL.... I was standing on the top of the small dirt road which the property dead ends into and talking to my daughter. We both turned at the same time to look across the street from the land and we realized it has an incredible view, you can see for miles and miles and as the sun was setting behind us everything was sparkling and gold and I got chills and my daughter got tears in her eyes and we KNEW this was it. My DH came out from walking the land and he said this was what he wanted to do even before we told him about our experience. I honestly believe in those gut instincts that tell you when something is right and this was more than RIGHT. I'm sure others had looked at the property and not realized it's potential just as we had but that afternoon I will never forget. The builder said it's a great piece of land, too.
I'll share a similar story since I'm in the mood - when my mom moved to Maine about 25 years ago, she had divorced my dad, remarried, went to college at age 50 and moved thousands of miles away. She wasn't sure she'd done the right thing until she went to see her current lake cottage. As she was leaving the drive with the realtor a puff of wind blew the snow from the roof and it sparkled and blew past her and she said it was that moment she knew it was the right thing to do.
So... we are now finalzing the contract for the land and have visited again with the builder and I'll have the start of house plans (will be asking for lots of help on here :) starting tomorrow.
I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your thoughts.
I know some of you think we should have taken the house but it had so many obsticles and the fact that my son who is only 8 would not be able to play on the road due to the fast and high volume of traffic whizzing past at 60 mph plus several acres of bottom land which would be unusable I know this is the right thing to do. It might have been different if we were in a larger city but we're looking in a very rural area and there just isn't much to choose from.
So.... I'm excited and nervous but feeling more positive about this than I have in a long time.
Thanks again,
Sunny

That is great Sunny! I agree about the busy road thing, that would be a total dealbreaker for me too (with 2 young kids and a dog). The lot we currently live on was the least expensive one available. When we saw it, we were shocked that people had chosen other lots and paid more money for them. We bought it right away bc we could see the potential in it and now we live on what is known as "the best lot in the neighborhood". It took some work to get it where it is now but it is gorgeous. When it came time to sell this house and build again, the lot was a huge attraction to buyers and it sold within a week of listing with more than one offer, in an area where the market has been SLOOOOOW. The buyers even agreed to let us rent it back until our new home is ready bc we wouldn't sell otherwise. So, I definately know what you mean about others not seeing potential! Happy home building to you!

the busy road would be a deal breaker for me too---and in fact is the number one reason why i want to sell my gorgeous custom built home.
so why not build a new home on great land which is similar to the one you love? that's my plan when i leave here, build (or remodel) a new home with the elements i've loved in this home.
good luck!

Location is everything. I'd rather have a tiny shack with a view than a mansion facing traffic. Good luck with the build