So after much thought - we decided to talk to our daughter and let her know that we wanted to get her a laptop - but that we also have concerns about her use of technology - and that we would only do this with a contract. I'm going to be working on the contract for a while - and would welcome any ideas. So far, I know it will include that I have administrative control of the laptop - which will be used to update programs, run antivirus and antispyware - and generally ensure me that I have access (unlike her ipod which she changed her password on so I don't have access). It also includes that all technology (ipods, laptop, etc) will be in the parent's bedroom - from when it's time to get ready for bed - until after school the next day (or the next morning if there's no school). (not having it in the kitchen over night bc. she'll sneak down and get it if she's awake in the middle of the night. She won't sneak into our bedroom to get it.) This will prevent her from using it in the middle of the night (esp. tempting when her friend lives in Vietnam is is available to chat at those times) - and thinking she can have the laptop open in the bathroom while she's getting ready for bed. For now, I am not setting time limits - but will include that those could get added in the future if we think she's using it too much. The reason to not add it now is that she is using it a bit too much. BUT - that's bc. she loves her new Sims game - which is actually motivating her to do her homework as soon as she comes home. For the first time ever, I do not have to monitor her homework and keep asking her to do it (I still pay attention to what she's doing, but it's nice that the impetus to do it and stay organized is now coming from her). She's also coming out of a serious depression - and having some pretty terrific, responsible behavior - so any limits on amount of her free time spent on the computer - when she's meeting all her responsibilities - isn't as pressing for right now. She's also healing form a broken ankle - so in fairness to her, there's not as much active stuff she can do with her free time. ------------------------------- I have some questions about how to set up her computer so I have administrative control. I have that set up on my computer now - and she can use it as a guest. But if my computer is off - and restarts, she needs the password to get on. She doesn't have the password to my computer (which is how I want it). But I do want her to be able to log into her own computer without me giving her the administrator's password. Is there a way to do this? Set it up so she can start the computer and log in as a guest? Thanks. Lynn.

Thank you, Genes. This Acer did look like a lot for the money, but when I googled it and looked at customer reviews on various sites, they were pretty mixed. A number of people felt these broke down too early - and slowed down too early. So I looked around some more. I think at this point that it's between Toshiba and Lenovo Thinkpad. This process would be easier if I knew entirely how I'd be using it. I know I'll do lots of surfing, some emailing, probably recording some digital media and maybe very limited word processing with open office software. I know I want XP. I know I want reasonable speeds (it drives me crazy when I have just a few minutes and can't get pages to load and change quickly). I am definitely not a gamer and don't plan to watch movies on it. Here are some remaining questions: - why should I shy away from integrated video? most of the preconfigured well-priced XP laptops I've found seem to have integrated video. - I know I hate weights of 6 pounds and more. But I am torn about how small to go. Right now I'm not taking this back and forth to work - and I'm not likely to if it weighs even 5 pounds. Do I go with a small portable 12-13.3" laptop that weighs under 4 pounds? Might be fun to be willing to bring it more places with me. Other than higher price, what am I sacrificing to go that small. Anyone have laptops this small that they find really comfortable and easy to use - a pleasure to have and be able to tote around? The Toshiba that Raven linked earlier is not currently available, but I found a very similar one - linked below: http://www.buydig.com/shop/product.aspx?omid=105&ref=bizrate&utm_source=Bizrate&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=TBL300EZ1004X&sku=TBL300EZ1004X And here's a Lenovo Thinkpad on ebay - for about $150-200 less than selling elsewhere (note the seller will upgrade memory to 2GB for free - which means he will open the new-in-package laptop just for that purpose). This is not refurbished. When I tinkered with Lenovo's website to customize one, even with their current sales, I couldn't do nearly this well. What do folks think of this one: http://cgi.ebay.com/New-IBM-Lenovo-ThinkPad-T61-Laptop-C2D-2-0G-XP-64655ZU_W0QQitemZ250281364243QQihZ015QQcategoryZ177QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1638Q2em118Q2el1247 And beginning to customize a small Lenovo on their website, I came up with this: http://shop.lenovo.com/SEUILibrary/controller/e/web/LenovoPortal/en_US/config.workflow:java-configure?x=x&sb=%3A00000025%3A00000169%3A I didn't finish customizing it - and there might be some changes I should consider (I didn't even think about service plans yet), but so far this is $1300 range. My business has picked up this summer, so maybe I could treat myself to this - but would still love opinions about how to specificially configure this. And in general if I should seriously consider going smaller. I did not yet look on ebay for the smaller thinkpads. And I haven't yet researched the smaller Toshiba's. Before I do that, I thought I'd wait to get some more guidance. Thanks so much. Lynn.

I will tell you what I go with, for my internal drives I go with Western Digital Black Caviar drives they are more expensive usually but extremely good drives. The last one I got was a 500Gig Black Caviar which I believe I got through amazon. For my external drives I like seagate free agent pro, I like their warranty and features. western digital black caviar

Dear all, Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I know I wrote a long post, but mkroopy, I do not expect everyone would understand my position in a short post. Thank you Sylviatexas, Readinglady and Justmetoo. You have been very understanding. In explanation to my position : 1. Before I got married, my parents had warned me that is anything were to happen (Inter-racial marriages in my country had boast issues like this before) I am not to return home crying when my marriage fail. I know my parents loved me and meant well, they only warned me of what would happen and they were absolutely right. but they are now retired, I cannot bear to burden them with my issues. If I am to find money, it will be on my own responsibility. 2. Like I mentioned above, by Muslim law, a wife can only divorce her husband for several reasons. You can refer to this : "Men have the right to divorce. If a man dislikes keeping his marriage for any reason, he divorces his wife and compensates her financially by paying her what is termed mut'a payment. This is in addition to the regular financial sustenance for her living, in case she has the custody of their children. Divorce becomes in effect once the husband utters or writes down any of the legal formulae of divorce such as: �I divorce you� or �you are divorced��etc. The husband can do these either by himself or through a messenger. In case it is the woman's desire to end the marriage, the situation becomes different. Her reasons might be that she has received ill treatment, the husband is unable to sustain her financially or he is sexually impotent. She can prove these defects in front of the judge, then the judge grants her divorce with a full access to all her financial rights. Also, if the husband was good to her but she does not want to keep on for an emotional reason, then she asks for what is termed khul'. This means to be granted divorce but without any access for financial rights, plus paying back the husband the dowry that he already paid on marrying her." I have made it clear to my husband that I don't want anything from him if he divorces me, but it seems like he is smart, he knows I won't be able to find a reason to divorce but for emotional reasons. I'm sure do hope that I'm wrong; I hope he doesn't want my money, after all his late wife did leave some for him. I am just like a pawn, I am only to suffer in a position where there is nothing I can do. 3. To Justmetoo, the solution you proposed was exactly what I did. Like I mentioned above, after my parents told me to ignore her coz eventually she will leave, I did exactly that. I ignored her. I stopped whatever I did before ie.plates to the dishes, pick up your mess, ask for permission first, spend your money wisely, you don't need another concert etc, MY HUSBAND DEEMED ME UNCARING. And again I say, I had established an understanding that I am not going to do anything anymore to make it better with her, unless she starts to do so herself. This are how things are now, she doesn't need my permission for anything, and in fact even if she does ask me, it is because she was told to by her father. And even if she did, it was, "I'm going out now, Ok Annie?" or "I'm going to borrow the bathtub, OK?" or "Can you send me to my friend's house later?" I know because her father asks her to do so, she knows I was the one who made the changes in the first place, so she behaves worst. 4. About her mother's things, you are terribly right. It was definitely my fault for clearing up the things. I just couldn't bear to live in the bedroom, which is the house under he name willed to the daughter (we are moving out sometime in 2013, AT LAST =( ) with no where to put my things. I felt really not at peace living here, everywhere I look it was just her possessions and reminders of her. Like I said, my Husband seemed very ignorant about how I felt. He had in fact mentioned I didn't know her and had no rights to hate her. She cheated on him and I didn't, I still don't understand why I get treated as if I was the one who did him wrong. I hate her terribly, It was because of what she did, that my husband is bitter and refused to clear up the mess. It was his responsibility and he dutifully neglected it and left me with the bitter consequences. I was told that the daughter was not very close to the parents. In fact, with both working adults and one spending too much time with someone else, a lot of things were left to other people to be responsible for. The maid handles a lot of things and she was given all she wanted so she wouldn't whine and cause troubles to her parents. Most definitely, I read her blog and she wrote that "my mum bullies me and don't support me" and "I didn't cry when mummy died." In fact, there wasn't an issue at all, until I came in the house. God knows what did she realize, but I doubt she appreciated her mother much until she realized someone else became the new woman in the house. The only thing I can think of now, is to live like nothing happened. Ignorance is not my forte, my blood boils to see her mess and her unthoughtful attitude about eating her share of food at home. It's makes me terribly sad that my husband says I don't care for either of them. I would have to save up my money wisely, study hard and start building a better life for myself in the future. Meanwhile, I would just have to take everything thrown at me. PS : My husband has mentioned in the past the one thing he wont tolerate is cheating and that consents a divorce. I can't do that, and even if I faked it, the bad would just be reflected on me. My husband is very smart of pretending like everything is beautiful and on cloud 9 in front of people. No one would believe of his character or assume something is wrong with our marriage.