Scotland is so right... you need to start asking every question, and investigating every facility within reasonable distance to you. Just because someone is old, and has either mental or physical weaknesses, does NOT mean that the next step is a nursing home. I wish that we, as a culture, could start appreciating the whole picture. Life is a progression and needs to be seen as such. I think this sounds like a very good introduction for your parents to an independant/assisted living facility. You do need to talk to as many people as possible. Ask what happens if type of questions. Imagine that your Mother has a bad fall, or Dad has increasingly bad cognitive problems. WHat happens then? How would this facility help if either had major surgery and was dismissed to go back home, i.e. not into a rehab or nursing facility? The staff should be good at helping you gather info, and don't be afraid to wander the halways and start a firendly chat with people you meet. I found that a simple walk down that hall at Mother's place would take me far longer than I expected because if I met anyone, they wanted to talk usually. Try to talk to the children of the residents if possible. Talk talk talk. You'll learn a lot. I think it's great that they are actively considering this move. Grab onto that, encourage it, and yes, ask quesions. of everyone. No one goes straight into a nursing home without traumatic health problems or seriously bad AD or other mental frailties. Life is a progression. If by moving them into an apartment in this place means that you can encourage them to de-clutter their home, to gift some items, to pare down a little... that's another good aspect. I had to clear out Mother's apartment after she passed away, and I was so relieved to know that she had cleaned out so much after several moves. This is an opportunity for your parents to get their estate in order, too. It may or may not be a great large estate, but it still needs to be evaluated by their attorney, wills and trusts and advanced directives all re-examined. Keep going along this road---this is very very positive. Now that Mother is gone, a part of my mourning is missing all the people who were her neighbors. So tomorrow, I'm taking one of Mother's old friends out to lunch and a movie. (Her choice of movie---Brokeback Mountain, and she's a retired nun! This should lead to interesting discussions. But she's one of the most with-it people I've ever known, so it should be good.)

Debbie I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I know how you feel. I lost my mother 2 1/2 years ago and it took me some time to get over her. I am not an attorney, so I cannot give you advise. I am sure your attorney will be able to give you the advise you are looking for. My mother was 60 years old and September 24th was the day her and my father were married. My mother had kidney failure, strokes, high blood pressure and diabetes. I remember her telling me a few months before she passed that she was tired of suffering and wanted to move onto to the next life. I cried with her and told her that we needed her and I did not want her talking like that. A friend of mine told me that if I were in her shoes what would I want? I then decided that I was being selfish and I would not want to live my life that way. My mother had a living will and she made the choice for us to not have her on a ventilator. That was easier for us. We were all in the room encouraging her to move on to the next life and believe me it was tough. Tears are running down my eyes as I am writing this to you. I miss her and love her so much. Set up a shrine somewhere in your home and decorate with things she enjoyed in her life. My pain was shifted about 2 1/2 months ago, Dec. 1st, 2006, when my 20 year old son was killed in a construction accident. Dominick was my baby boy. He was my Christmas baby, because he was born on Christmas. This past Christmas he was to turn 21 and boy was he excited about that. I ask the Lord every day why he took my son and not me? Again, there is a reason for why things happen and we never expect it to happen to us. Keep your father occupied and bring the family closer with weekend gatherings. That seems to help us with our loses. I will pray for you and your family. Ascencion

patti, she has her people, and they knew we were coming and an idea of what I wanted. Stainless steel double sink will have the beveled edge. Flooring is Alloure Woodgrain floating flooring. I chose the rustic wood effect. Friend and I had looked at that several months ago, and when decorator was here, she said it would be perfect in my little kitchen. Went to Home Depot to decide on the color. The backsplash is quartz????? Different grains and colors. Went to that place, and she said she had extra, so we didn't have to order. She has all the people, I don't have to do a thing except clean out from under the sink. And I certainly want to clean the area around the dishwasher when they pull it out. Faucet she will order online and save bucks there. All this is new and a first for me. Wish me luck that I don't have to replace the 26 year old dish washer.

I just got home again from the hospital a half an hour ago. I had been in contact with the Dr. all day because of severe tension headaches. Well they turned into a full blown migraine on the left side of my head, my vision turned blurry, bright sunlight was hurting my eyes and I felt nautious. I went into the clinic and Dr checked me out my blood pressure was 120/80 so wasn't the cause of the headache. Decided that since the tylenol 3 with codeine wasn't helping ( I am on that for yesterdays contractions) I needed a shot and they wanted me to have blood tests to see if there was anything wrong pregnancy wise. So DH left to take the girls to my sisters and bring Hayden home. He is a little monkey and is easy to take care of and entertains himself so will take it easy while they are gone and tomorrow until we have to go and get the girls. Stacie girlsingardens