What an emotional rollercoaster you've been on, this year! I just read yesterday's hopeful news on the other thread, and now this. I'm so sorry, Annie, that Uncle Marty didn't pull through, after all. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Dam*, I was afraid of this. Ahh Annie, I don't know what to say. My wish for you and your family is that G-d will hold you in the palm of his hand and give you some gentle rest, for body and soul. Your poor dear Uncle Marty, and Aunt Donna too. I imagine right now you must be feeling lost, and definitely battered. You always have prayers, love and best wishes from all of us here, and I'm adding my name to the list of friends who would do anything to make you feel better.
Please take care of yourself. Hugs to you, the girls, grands and Elery too.((((Annie and family))) DONNA
What a bugger. Annie, I'm so sorry your family has had so much sadness to deal with lately. May your love and memories give you strength. Take care and big hugs all around.
I'm sorry, Annie. I said a long time ago that you've had your share. (I really need to finish and send the letter I started to you about three major life events ago.)
I know he was very dear to you. Big hugs to you and Elery, the girls and the rest of the family. Let's hope this is that last of the bad stuff for a while, huh?
I'm sure he did go out on his own terms. Sometimes it's the living who have to let go, ya know, which is what I was thinking. Oh Ms. Annie, I too wish I wasn't so far a way. This is your hell year isn't it. Hang in there dear one. BIG HUG.
Oh Annie, I am so sorry for your loss. You have been through so much in such a short amount of time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. May Martin rest in peace! Sending you love and hugs. Gina
Thank you, everyone. He was the last brother, the only remaining uncle on either side of my family. He was my favorite and he made no excuses about the fact that I was his favorite too. :-)
In the past 3 years we've lost Uncle Wade, Uncle Paul, Uncle Leon, Uncle Floyd, Uncle Dale, my stepdad Hal, Dad and now Marty. Uncle Chuck and Uncle Ed died over 10 years ago.
Funny, all of their spouses remain except Aunt Anna, the only female who died in that generation.
I don't know that there will even be a funeral, he said he didn't want one, the family should save their money, cremate him and bury him in the family cemetary. He said that when he was gone, he was gone, and that should be the end.
Although I wasn't extremely close to my stepdad, I loved Uncle Marty. Thankfully I've made an effort to visit with him a couple of times in the last month, and made sure he got to meet Elery. Although he told me I was the last person in the world that he thought needed taking care of, he was glad that I found Elery to take care of me if I needed it, so he knew he wasn't leaving me totally alone.
Annie, my Mom didn't want a funeral either, just to be cremated and her ashes scattered at sea. And a "celebration of life" (her words). As to the celebration of life, I pretty well made it up in consultation with a chaplain she had liked. We held it a month after her death, to give everyone's emotions a little settling time. We had it in a local hall, I catered most of the food, and we invited what family and friends we knew would want to come. I gave a short talk on Mom's life, brother gave a short talk on how she affected our lives. Then we said her favourite prayer and took helium balloons in her favourite colours (which I had filled myself with assistance from my inlaws) outside and released them. During the balloon release a family friend in full Scots regalia (total surprise) played "Amazing Grace" on his bagpipes. Lots of people said it was the best "funeral" they had ever attended, and it certainly was low cost (had to be, we were really skint back then). With your large family I guess if you wanted to do something like that you could all bring food and share, which would also add to the community feel. So you'd be honouring your Unlce Marty's wishes but still have the closure a funeral gives and the chance for everyone to get together and reminisce.
Colleen, that sounds like a perfectly wonderful "celebration of life", and I think it's a great idea. Aunt Donna has decided to have "memorial" tomorrow, with the same Pastor who performed the marriage ceremony for elery and I, and the same kind gentleman who spoke at Dad's funeral.
Uncle Marty has already been cremated, so we'll have the memorial service and a lunch to follow at the Town Hall, which seems to be the "hub" of the neighborhood. Yes, it's the same Town Hall that held Ashley's graduation open house, my cousin Ricky's "Redneck Bonanza" wedding and various birthday parties, baby showers and Dad's funeral luncheon. I'm not sure it's big enough, Uncle Marty was an Army Recruiter for years, after Vietnam and before he retired, and I think even more people will be here than at Dad's. I've been asked to bring a dish to pass, so I've got beans baking in the oven right now.
The farm auction was today, and so it's been a very trying time, but right now I'm just getting past one day at a time. When I need a break I come here and talk cooking or see what everyone else is up to.
Thank you all for your support and prayers, it's been a great comfort to me.
Thinking of you today Annie. Hugs and prayers are being sent your way for strength to get through the day, and the coming weeks too. (((Annie and family))) DONNA
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