I've noticed...Ditto!

Kinda the "Wham, Bam, thank Ya, Ma'am" of the forums, huh?

Yep, I've noticed it, too. And I have to admit, I am slow to read/reply to postings from "strangers" these days.....

Not trying to be rude, but just short on time, I guess. There are just so many new posters, and ya never know how long they'll stick around.

Linda

That's where I am now, Linda, not so ready to reply and help people I don't know.

Thanks, everyone. It's good to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way.
Teresa

I think that not everyone who pops by realizes that this forum is a community of friends and not just a problem/solution, question/answer message board.

Maybe.

I've seen what you mean, but I don't let it bother me. I figure I've helped someone out and if they say come back with thanks and an update, great. If not, I still have the satisfaction of knowing I helped someone out. It happens to me all the time in the building a house forum. People will email me asking about something I did and I will reply with the answer. Sometimes I hear back, but not always. People were so helpful to me, both here and especially on the house forum that I figure I am paying it forward.
Jo

I used to get mad about that, but I decided to change the way I approached it. If I have something easy I can do to help, I just toss it out there to the world and hope for the best. I may help the original poster, I may help someone who is just reading/lurking--you never know. Or it may help someone who later finds the post through a search engine. You never know how a kindness is going to turn out. But put it out there. If, however, I am feeling rushed and really busy, I don't feel like I HAVE to post, even to some of the good friends, regulars on here. Right now I can barely keep my self together I am under so much stress. I feel guilty about even not posting to help folks I know, like if someone needs help with a vegetarian recipe I used to take a lot of time and reply and post my recipes, etc. Now I just can't. But I try not to feel too guilty about it. Sometimes we help, sometimes we NEED help, and sometimes we just pass, which should be OK. Don't feel too bad about it Teresa, there are a lot of folks here who DEFINATELY read what you've posted and appreciate it. They just might not always be able to post an acknowledgement.

I wish we had a "sticky" thread that asked newcomers to introduce themselves. I have noticed a lot of new names lately. I haven't paid attention to see if they stick around or are one-time visitors.

I think an Introduce Yourself thread would send the message that there are many here who are longtime posters and the relationship is more than cooking advice.

I agree that at the least the asker should say thanks.

Yes, believe me I've noticed! I'm glad to help anyone I can. All I expect is a thank you and I don't think that's too much to ask. If they don't really want to stick around then do we really want them? Just a courteous thank you would help.

The day this board became free was a sad day.

I was thinking we haven't had a "roll call" thread in a while. Is it time?

I think they are political volunteers that have been assigned to cruise message boards looking for election year discussions. Probably got bored and wandered off the HT forum. Suppose we should be nice but it would be funny to drop a dill pickle spear in the recipe.

: )
lyra

I find that annoying but what perhaps bothers me more is when a handful of people take the time to type out their recipes and then the OP comes back and says "Oh Emma thank you, that sounds so wonderful," without so much as a general thank you for the rest of the responses.

At least with no response you can give them benefit of the doubt that they simply forgot to check back.

(Ok, call me Mr. Sensitive!)

Well, Mr. Sensitive, and everyone, I guess I expect forum members to be like the longtime members here at the Cooking Forum: always helpful, exceedingly polite, going the extra mile, sometimes a little sarcastic (YOU know who you are - LOL!), and most friendly and welcoming to all. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone else were like you guys? Or would that be too normal and boring? Ha!

Well.....I feel better anyway!
Teresa

Teresa, you forgot to mention Evil....

Ya know, it HAS been a while since we did a roll call for newbies to introduce themselves and "oldies" to give us an update. Maybe that's not such a bad idea.....

Linda

I heard my name? Am I guilty?

Always, Jessy, always. And we wouldn't have you any other way except how you are. :)

OH NO................I am guilty of this. BUT in my defense I have faithfully read this forum for the last 6 years pretty much every working day and have got a lot of useful info. I have only posted a handful of times when I could not find the info I needed by searching previous posts. I don't contribute hardly ever because well to be honest most of you know way more than I do and I don't want to look silly. Please know that at least for me I appreciate each and every answer to any thing I post AND everything any one else posts. Without knowing it you people who post every day have helped me get through my mom passing last year, my miscarriage, my dad dating and now my dad getting remarried. Your post help me when I just want shut myself in a closet and scream, instead I come and look at funny pictures or groan over the whats for dinner thread. I plan things I want to try and then do it with the confidence of knowing if I run into trouble there are people who will better explain things if I need it right here on this forum. As for as I am concerned this forum is THERAPY...lol

Melissa

And we're glad to be here to provide therapy for you, Melissa.
I for one dont' answer a post nor do any sort of kindness for the thanks. If it comes, LOVELY if not I really don't notice.
But to all of you who say you do notice, remember a lot of people who ask for advice and never seem to return to say thanks, email the advisor directly. I get that a lot...I got an email like that today and another yesterday.
So just because you don't see a reply doesn't mean that the person offering the recipe or idea wasn't thanked.

You know if people were treated as outsiders whenever they ventured in, many many of the frequent posters wouldn't be looking at this thread now.
besides....this is the internet and this is a public forum and while the site IS frequented by a close knit group, it is also a public forum open to any and all who's browser leads them here.
Linda C

"I for one dont' answer a post nor do any sort of kindness for the thanks."

Not quite sure what that means, but...

If you ask for a favor and people come to help, the 30 seconds it takes to log in and type the words "Thanks for the suggestions" should not be too much to ask for. I am actually not as much interested in a thank you as I am in simply seeing evidence that the person came back and read the replies and that we did not all waste our time. To me that should be as common a courtesy as saying thank you when someone holds the door for you or says bless you when you sneeze.

"I am actually not as much interested in a thank you as I am in simply seeing evidence that the person came back and read the replies and that we did not all waste our time."

foodonastump,
you hit the nail squarely on the head! Thank you!

Teresa

Well, I'm going to flip the coin here. I know I have specifically started new threads to thank someone for something that they had offered and a time when I tried to correct a name that I got wrong and thanked the wrong person.

I never got a response to any of my threads (except for someone bumping it up and others that said thanks for posting what they hadn't seen before).

I try very hard to tell people how much I appreciate their help because I DO.

It was said by one poster that it was a very sad day when this board went public. Well, I find that very sad and I guess that some of us are just not welcome here. I don't think I have done anything wrong.

oh no dixie! I've been enjoying your posts on WFD. I am suffering from an extreme head cold and may be missing something here, but what do you mean about not being welcome? I don't think that was aimed at you...:-(

Dixie, I must have missed the comment about it being a sad day when this board went public. I don't agree with that sentiment either.

I really hope that you do not feel like you are not welcome. Like Stacy I also enjoy your contributions and your posts to the What's For Dinner thread. I hope that no one else is feeling unwelcome either. I've always felt that our members were very welcoming of new posters.

Ann

Oh my Dixiedog, you are very welcome here. I must have missed something. Please tell us why you feel unwelcome and we will strive to correct it!

Ann, I am the one who made the statement about the day this board went public. It seemed when that happened that is when the hit and runs started and instead of it being a family type atmosphere where we all cared about each other it became a lot of strangers looking for answers and leaving without another post. If that's what others want fine, but not what I find pleasing in a forum.

I'm sorry Beverly, But I don't agree. When I first joined the forum was free. I think that many of us joined prior to Gardenweb charging a membership fee. It was only a paid board for a very short time and the $15.00 a year fee didn't do much to discourage the odd "hit and run" participant.

Ann

And it's threads like this that discourage a lurker from posting....

I'm glad it's free! I wouldn't be here if it weren't.
I don't subscribe to anything online (or hard copy either). It's a personal choice.

I really, really try to thank everyone that posts a reply to my question/plea/request. Not individually, but on the OP. That doesn't mean that I haven't occasionally missed some. For a variety of reasons...MY memory being number one! But also, I may have posted just before a weekend/vacation and I've forgotten by the time I return (don't access at home).

That said, I agree that a simple "thanks" goes a long way toward keeping this a friendly, helpful site.

I don't feel like I really know who some of the "old-timers" are and who are new. Some are "old lurkers", but infrequent posters. How would one know??

It seems that it is the same as most other "groups of people"...a few inconsiderates shouldn't be allowed to ruin it for the majority. They only can if the majority allow it. It's much easier to just ignore the perceived 'slight' and move on to enjoy the rest. That's my approach, anyway!

Yes, it's annoying, No, it doesn't have to ruin your day.

Deanna (with probably way too many opinions for a relative "newbie").

Can't we all just get along?

Guilty as charged! I seldom post and when I do it's usually to ask a question that I know will be answered quickly and correctly by this forum. I don't always reply to the answer unless I have further questions, but don't think for a minute that I don't check back and appreciate all the answers. And I always thank in advance when I post, because I do appreciate anyone who takes the time to reply.
I am a long time lurker (I hate that term), but I like this forum and it's the first site I go to when I log on. I feel like I know you, your family, friends, and pets! I can usually tell whos post it is just by looking at the pictures. It's my relaxing down time to visit here during the day.
As for the post and run posters, I'm sure it's nice for them to post a question and get replies or recipes from real people not from a dictionary or linked to a recipe website. Thats what I think makes this forum unique. Real people, real opinions, real recipes, and real help. Thats why they post when they find this forum.
Some people are quiet by nature-that is me. Said after the above post!
Thanks.
Di

Personally I don't care if anyone comes back just to say thank you. BUT , I would like the original poster to come back and share with us what they did. Especially when someone posts that they are hosting or catering a party, wedding, etc and came to the forum looking for suggestions or recipes. I think that most of us are just interested and curious. It would just be nice to have a follow up.

We have a lot of lurkers that just read and never participate. I know because every time I offer a new chapter of Thibeault's TAble I get as many requests from lurkers as I do from members. Many have lurked for years and feel like they know all of us. They just don't participate.

I do think though that when someone takes the time to ask a question or advice, that it would be nice if they posted a follow up too. Is it necessary? NO. But it would be nice.

Ann

Like Ann, when someone shares a part of themselves with the forum and asks for advice or recipes or help I like to know the outcome too. Nosy? Maybe!

If I answer a question a person asks, I dont want a thank you - I'd rather read a post from them on how it worked out. I'm just nosey that way.

I would hope that if I posted on a forum where the regulars didn't know me, that they would take the time to answer me.

I saw the yesterday on the decorating forum where this person posted asking if anyone had watched a tv show called Flippng Out. One of the regulars posted something like, Oh I see you just registered today..... I thought that was mean. The OP was just asking a question and trying to get a conversation going on a tv show. So what if she just registered that day? We all had to register to post the first time, right?

I got off track, sorry.

But if I know the answer to a question posted I will reply, regardless if it's a regular or a new person. I don't think that should matter.

Heavens to Betsy, I thought we were all getting along! If I've upset anyone it sure wasn't my intention. I joined this board before it became a paid board too and I just don't remember back then people who popped up with a question and never came back. And everyone is welcome whether it's a paid board or not. What was in the back of my mind was that if you have to pay a nominal fee you will think twice about asking for something and never coming back to chat. Perhaps the problem started more when ivillage took over. And when I said people should thank you for posting an answer to their question or recipe I didn't mean "thank you" per se. Just come back and tell us something and don't disappear. Sorry if I've ruffled any feathers. The written word can be so fickle and different from what you really feel sometimes.

Shaun - I just looked up the thread that you referenced. Unfortunately due to spam people have become a little hypersensitive to brand new posters who give the slightest suggestion of promoting something. We have plenty of that on the cooking forum, and frankly from what I have seen the vast majority of the accusations appear warranted. Unfortunately the fallout is the occasional innocent victim who tries to start a dialogue and gets hammered.

I do not care if people lurk, does not bother me a bit. But as I see it, the majority of us who actually "post" here are interested in dialogue, otherwise we could just write in our diaries. And the majority of those who have posted on this particular thread have expressed the fact that they do not appreciate a lack of acknowledgement when people have tried to help out. A smaller group of people have said something to the effect of "I don't let it bother me," which as I read it is in essence saying they don't like it but don't let it upset them. A very few seem to be saying they really don't care.

Who is right? None of us. We are all just stating our feelings. So if a lurker/occasional poster reads this thread, maybe they will get the hint that the majority of us would appreciate at least a little acknowledgement that our responses have been read. Whether or not they take the hint is of course entirely their choice. Whether or not we respond to their future inquiries is of course entirely our choice.

I don't know if I'm a lurker or infrequent poster or something else, but I do get the feeling that these boards have insiders and outsiders.

I do love reading here, and come here probably 4 to 6 days a week. As for thank yous and follow-ups, I personally try to keep an eye on threads I've posted to (usually responses, seldom original posts) but I find that it's very hard to keep track of things. I keep a post-it on my desktop to remind me, but sometimes several pages go by when the thread is moving rapidly. Using the search button isn't much use. If you have any suggestions for keeping track of things, I'd love to hear them.

Oh, and thanks.

Shermann: I use 'clip this post' frequently. some I make public, some I keep private. Takes two seconds and you can always click to the original thread from there.

The more the merrier, I don't think it's terrible if someone posts and forgets to return or hasn't the time. I just think it's nice when someone does!

I like new folks and new topics no matter what the outcome is.

Eileen

I am more a lurker than a participant. I read through the post topics several times a day and gotten ideas for supper, inspiration to try something new (making pasta is one) and learn a lot from reading what you all write.

Unfortunately, I don't feel like I have anything to contribute most of the time. My meals are just ordinary, but try to make as much from scratch as I can. I am afraid, after reading this thread, I am one always asking. I do enjoy the obvious friendships. I've often wondered how you know each other so well, aside from replies to posts.

I have never asked Ann for a new chapter of her book because I didn't feel I participated enough to receive such a generous gift. I am not whining, just trying to give another perspective. If I have neglected to thank those who have replied to one of my posts, I apologize.

cotehele,
One way many of us have gotten to know each other so well is through posting on this and other forums over a number of years. I have to admit that when I first came here, I was a bit intimidated by the excellent cooks that congregate here. And I dropped out before I even got my feet wet. But I really love to talk food, recipes, menus, party planning, etc. and I had not found any other outlet for my passion for cooking. So, I came back and gradually, post by post, I made myself known to the others and learned a little about the regulars here and other regulars that are no longer here.

The folks here really do not mind posting their recipes for you. We hardly ever tell someone to "do a search" to answer their question. We will post a link to a recent discussion on what you are asking about - because, this forum moves very quickly and posts can scroll right off the first page in no time. And we all know some other Garden Web forums that are not quite as helpful to newcomers.

We just like to get to know newcomers who we hope will stick around long enough to let us know you better.

Teresa

Teresa,
Thanks for the explanation. There are people who post frequently I recognize, now.

Last spring I found the GW Kitchen forum when we began planning a new kitchen. The planning is nearing the end and I hope construction can begin before winter. Either someone on the Kitchen forum mentioned the Cooking forum or I was just looking at the list and found it.

As far as cooking goes, we are vegetarian. I had no idea how to cook when we were married (34 years ago), but DH was patient and my MIL was a good role model. We live in an area with Wonder Bread groceries and Hog Trough restaurants so I go 60 miles to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's for most things. I like to bake, bread mostly and cookies (anything chocolate).

I'll definitely stick around and will post when I have something to contribute.

Thanks again, Judy

Judy, there are other vegetarians here. Often non-vegetarians will need inspiration and recipes to prepare meals for a vegetarian guest. I'm sure you have a lot to offer!

Judy, I hope you stick around. Like Teresa said, many of us have been around a while. Some like Lindac for more than 10 years. So we have come to know each other fairly well. I think that the cooking forum is the best cooking related forum I've found on line. The members here are very helpful and do not mind posting recipes or answering the same question when it comes up again. Except for the "Vegetarian" part, you sound like my kind of cook. I will often drive an hour or more to go grocery shopping.

If you are interested, email me and I will be happy to send you the links to my recipe collection. I need to get started one of these days on updating the next chapter.

Ann

"Hog Trough" restaurants. I will have to remember that one. How perfectly descriptive.

The fact that I don't have much to add to the conversation doesn't stop me from participating at all! I love this place and the people here.

"The fact that I don't have much to add to the conversation doesn't stop me from participating at all!"

Good to know I am not the only one guilty of that! LOL!!!

Ann, I have enjoyed the recipes you post. Thanks for the offer of your recipe collection. I will send you an e-mail. The lack of a good market has taught me to cook with what I have on hand. Ours meals are sometimes a source of amusement!

dedtired, DH coined ''Hog Trough''. These are the same people who move their car one block so they don't have to walk from the bank to the dollar store. Our downtown is only two blocks long!

Oh, I understand people wanting to know the outcome of how something turns out.

I truly love this board and love coming here and have felt welcome but I have to admit Beverly when you stated pretty much that it was a sad day when the board went public I thought well...I fall into that category so maybe I'm not as welcome as I thought.

The best part of this board is seeing the closeness and friendships that have formed. I think that is super!

Thanks for some clarifications. I really want to be involved in the fun on the board too.

Dixiedog and others,
While I can't speak for Beverly, one interpretation of her statement might be this:

when these forums were by subscription, if you chose to pay to belong to some of them, you were investing yourself and a commitment to those forums and you might be more likely to involve yourself with the other posters on the forum.

Those of us who have been here several years might see a difference between "then" and "now." Folks who want to be involved with the Cooking Forum are very welcome and we hope to hear from you a lot and welcome your participation. Those folks who lurk but hardly ever post, you are welcome, too, and we would encourage you to post now and then so we can get to know you. Those folks who post a question and never return....well....we'll just never know, will we?

Phew! I'm glad you clarified this for me Teresa, I was feeling small in that I haven't been active here for a few months (health issues).
I want to feel welcome whether I'm able to come daily or other :)
Here in spirit and friendship,
Deborah

I'm another member who was here before there was a fee to join, stayed through the "pay for posting" era, and am still here, although I got a couple of those "friendly warnings" from Spike. LOL

I guess I'm not sensitive at all, because I don't really care whether I get acknowledged, or thanked, or replied to, or whatever. I just shrug and go on to the next project.

Of course, I was also one of those people who got criticized by a few others for going "off topic" or making a comment while not actually answering a question, so maybe I'm not such a good member after all, if you're not interested in conversation, just questions and answers...

Annie

Teresa, thanks for translating what I said. In no way did I mean anyone was unwelcome in the least. Everyone who comes here and contributes words is welcome. But somehow I manage to get totally misunderstood a lot of the time.