No. 1 is your health because everyone else will be depending on you. It truly takes most women's bodies about a year after delivery to fully bounce back. No one pays any attention to that nowadays; it is nevertheless true. So, talk with the doctor who manages your diabetes as well as your OB about what you're planning to take on. You will have the additional stress of a move in between now and your delivery.

So, start the build after 1 year and before s/he's 10 (which is the new 13).

Do get your bedroom and nursery on the main level with kitchen. Small will be your friend in this case. Leave all you can packed in boxes. Make life convenient. A good friend of mine was pregnant during the house building. Huge house. Formal living and dining. Master on the main. When she was ready to move the baby out of their bedroom she moved her into the Dining Room and closed off the french doors to the foyer. Dining (Baby) Room--Kitchen--Bfast Room--Master. Unconventional, but so perfect until she started to walk.

Think outside the box.

YAY!!! How exciting! I think it's great that you have put the house on hold. Building is sooooo stressful and would definitely take away from your pregnancy. Kudos to you for taking the time to take care of yourself and enjoy your new baby AND adjusting to a dh that is a now a daddy.

I had my first baby and 14 months later I was ready mentally and physically to try for baby number 2. So, since I was ready for pregnancy again in that amount of time I bet you will be more than ready to build your new home about a year.

I definitely agree that putting the building on hold is a good idea. I dont believe pregnancy is a handicap but when you are trying to closely watch your health also extra stress is not a good thing.

See how your pregnancy goes and how your baby goes-believe me, some demand more of you than others. You can use that first year to pick out some things to give you a boost when build starts. Buy a small house with the baby's room close to yours and do store most of your unnecessary stuff.

Enjoy this time and the baby's first year-it will pass in a flash. Congrats!

We got pregnant while in the process of designing our house. We did not want to be building when the baby came either. So, we did not start the house until my baby turned 2. Big mistake! This is why: I had a really easy baby. He had a great disposition and was easy to tote around in his car carrier. We had a great time. During this time I was helping my mom remodel her house so we took my son everywhere with us while picking out all the stuff for her house. At the time I remember thinking it was inconvienent to have to tote the baby through the process, but looking back now, I only wish I had that kind of inconvience. Today my son is 2. We started building in March when he turned 2. Toddlers are NUTS! Forget trying to take him shopping for tile, doors, plumbing supplies, windows, etc. I can not hold a conversation with anyone or look at anything for more than 1 minute because he is either screaming at the top of his lungs to get out of the stroller, or taking off through the store to touch every dangerous thing he can find. Boy, do I wish I was doing this when all I had to do is tote him around in that car carrier. Plus, the very few times I have had to take him to the job site, I have nearly had a heartattack trying to keep him from falling to his death every 5 minutes.

Today I have to pay a fortune for a babysitter so that I can meet with contractors and shop for the house. Had I started the project when he was younger it would have been easier to bring him along and I would not have to pay a babysitter, plus feel guilty for not spending enough time with him.

The first year of our sons life was a very romantic time. I will charish it forever and I am glad I took time to enjoy it. My advice would be to give yourself the time to get adjusted to motherhood and enjoy your new baby, when you feel up to it, tote the baby around to start picking out all the fun stuff you want for your new house, no pressure, just fun. However, try to get the foundation of the house started when the baby is 9 months. Then try to finish construction before the baby is 20 months. That is when me and all my mommy friends remember the really difficult toddler stage beginning.

By the way, my husband is a radiant heat contractor and we have been around construction for years and planned on acting as the GC for our project, but in the end, we hired a GC for most of the work. You will have enough to do without getting yourself bogged down with all that project management stuff as well.

Design the house now. That is fun and won't put stress on you while you are pregnant. But, do your homework. Maybe meet with a baby proofing consultant to help you design the house child safe. A few things that I can tell you is avoid those lever type door handles. They are way to easy to open and the baby locks that you can get for them do not work as well as the ones for the round door knobs. Also, design the kitchen so that it would be easy to close it off with baby gates. Be very careful with the fire place you choose. To many of them today have that glass that gets WAY to hot. My 10 month old niece spent a month in the burn unit at Stanford Hospital after touching the glass for only a second. She had to have skin graphs and be on a morphine drip. Today there are a few companies now designing these fireplaces with attached safety screens to prevent kids from touching the glass. When designing your childs bedroom, do not have the bed in front of any windows. Many children have fallen out of windows this way. A great thing to plan for is a play room near the living space. Maybe something with double pocket doors so that you can close off the mess of toys when company comes over. Also, plan for an area for you children to take their dirty shoes on and off when coming in and out of the yard. Also, get a custom vanity cabinet made for your childrens bathroom with a pull out foot stool in the toe kick. Also, get a large single basin kitchen sink with a spray nossle because this will make it easy to give your kids a bath until they are about 3 years old. I can probably come up with about 20 more suggestions, but this post has already gone on WAY to long! So I will end by saying Congratulations! You are about to experience what life is all about.

Congratulations!! This is such a special time..... enjoy every single moment.

pinktoes said much of what I was thinking. : )
Your health needs to be #1 priority.

I just had my first child on May 22nd. We began our building process in March '06 and basically started trying for a child around the same time. I became pregnant in Sept. '06. We only live about 7 miles from where we are building, so it was easy for me to run over there while being pregnant. 90 miles is a bit further, so I think that could be an issue, esp. after the baby arrives. I was eventually put on bedrest due to premature labor symptoms, so that was very hard.
My DH is doing all the building himself, so I do regret not being able to do much physically, but I was able to help coordinate things and pick up lots of our supplies before the bedrest and then once again about 6 weeks after delivery. What pinktoes said about how long it takes to bounce back...she's not kidding. I'm doing very well 3 mos. later...but i've still got a ways to go.
My husband had missed much of the pregnancy and works at our new house until dark every night...so he is missing alot during these first few months. That has been our biggest regret. Since we're close, I generally take the baby over a few times a week so we can spend more time with dad. But on the positive side, when we are finally ready to move in (hopefully by late Spring '08) we will have a wonderful home that is set up perfectly for baby who will probably be walking by then.

In my experience, there have been both positive and negatives....but I'm glad how things are working out and I can't wait to have this wonderful place for my child to grow up and enjoy.

I would definately start designing now...these things take time. There is lots you can do without actually starting the build, so when the times comes it will help things to move swiftly and smoothly.

Whatever you decide to do, best of luck. Having my Son has been the most amazing experience of my life and as mel71 said....that's what it's all about.

Keep us updated on your progress. And congratulations once again!

I'm w/ Mel71 - I have 3 kids (youngest is now 8) & it's much easier to do things when they're what we call here in NC 'arm babies' - not walking. Plus when they're little babies, they sleep a lot (at least all of mine did), so you can take good advantage of that. You can be in the design phase now & getting EVERYTHING laid out & decided upon because when the build gets started, it will be CRAZY & oh so stressful. You're absolutely right - you MUST take care of your Diabetes - your pregnancy is already 'high risk' & of course w/ any stress (and being pregnant), your blood sugars will shoot right up. So you'll have the stress on your body from being pregnant & diabetic, & you cannot add the stress of building a home right now. It would not be good. When you'll bounce back? That will depend on your age also. If you are like me & had children in your mid-late 20's, I bounced back super fast. No C-sections for me, so I was feeling pretty darn good after about 5 days to a week. I still didn't over do it, but my life had otherwise returned to what it had been before I got pregnant. I had pre-term labor w/ the last 2 kids & had medication induced diabetes w/ the 2nd child. Had to check my sugar 2-3 times a day (no insulin, diet controlled), but I can remember eating popcorn @ the movies, no soda, when we were living in Hawaii & they put small, semi-sweet pretzel-like stuff in the popcorn - I didn't eat a whole lot of it, but it shot my blood sugar up to the 250's! And I was very cognizant of what I ate. Is your diabetes well controlled now? I'm a nurse, that's why I speak as I do.

We should be moving into our new home by the end of the month & I can't tell you how stressed I've been! DH is only feeling the stress now that we have 5 kids in is this 1100 sq. ft. apt., he's ready to move & we know that the house is almost done. Otherwise I've done all of the stressing over this build & this has been one of the most stressful things I've ever done in my life! But I also work several more hrs. than normal a week & have 3 children & we have just 'inherited' 2 more kids that will be w/ us hopefully just until next summer. But in your case, I think I'd actually get started when the baby is maybe 2-3 months old - I don't think that's too early. Do you work? If so, how much time do you plan to take off after the baby is born? PLUS with you living so far away from the build, that's stressful enough. We live less than a mile away & have been to that site practically everyday & sometimes twice a day since early April. I'm so glad we live as close as we do because you do need to check on a regular basis to make sure stuff is being done as you want it. DH & I were talking yesterday about us having no life right now as it all completely surrounds this build, the kids & work!

I agree that your health is number one first and foremost. If your mind is already set to not build for now and put 'Life' on hold until after the baby's born then it is going to be hard to pick this project up and start no matter how much everyone will convince you to not wait.

My husband and I built our first house just as we were getting married. No kids in tow. It was a hectic then.

Fastforward 5 years were are building house # 2. Started design process when our daugther was 11 months. Sold the first house to capture the high housing market prices in California to rent until the house was done. Moved from 3000 sq ft to 1000 sq ft. 1 hour away from husabnds work and the new house. It was a huge adjustment. Baby #2 was on the way shortly after. I ran around a did lots of shopping/research(windows, tile, etc...) before baby # 2 was born. It was so easy with one kid in tow, especially being that she could sit in the stroller and have a snack.

We finally started construction earlier this year, now with 2 kids in tow (3yr old and a 15 month) we are entering the final finishing phase of the house.

Life was so easy before kids, you only have to worry about yourself. Now with 2 mobile kids on the job site I too have to worry about them falling into the big spectic tank hole that's out on the property right now or them running under scafolding, etc. With a infant in tow (in a baby bjorn or infant car seat carrier) alot can be accomplished. You feed them before you meeting and they will sleep for most of it in a safe place on your chest or at your feet.

I would NOT wait. I would get started NOW and get as much accomplished before the baby's born (running around pick stuff out and doing research.) Yes you will have to stop, have the baby, nurture your family and recover mentally & physically but once you do then you and the baby can pick right where you left off and continue the build. I think that if you wait-the build may never happen and your dreams will fade away.

That's my 2 cents. Do what feels right to you and your husband. I agree with MEL71 on the childproofing thing you need to consider these types of things now during the design phase and when selecting materials.

Good luck.

-Nadien

I agree your health is the #1 issue. You do not need to add that additional stress on yourself. I would wait until you had the baby and maybe give yourselves a couple of months to take in your new baby. I think it will be a lot easier when the little one is little rather than having her/him trying to get our of your arms to get down and walk around!

Congrats on your good news! Enjoy this time :-)

Congratulations Lena! What a delightful surprise!

You've already got a lot of great advice, and I'd especially agreee with Mel's take on things. Do the fun design work and planning now, and the shopping when you've got an 'arm baby' -- because once they start walking and can express their boredom, things get harder, not easier. Again, a lot will depend on your baby's temperment.

Having a nice ground-floor room near the central living area that you can close off with double doors is a fabulous way to balance safe, great play-space for a very young child and 'presentable house' for the adults. A typical floor plan's dining room or den could be designed with this temporary phase in mind.

Again - Congratulations!

Thank you everybody!! I definetly agree mine and the baby's health is my #1 priority and hence putting the build on hold. I don't need anything to add stress right now and just thinking of building raises my blood pressure.

I really appreciate you sharing your stories and it really makes me understand better what we are in for and is very helpful in us trying to plan.

I have decided though that I'm not ready to work on a design right now. My brain is too busy just trying to figure out what I can and can't eat and try to include nutrition that I need and doesn't mess too much with my bloodsugar in addition to a new area I'm working on at work. My work is mentally challenging, which I enjoy a lot so I'd rather not take on anything else at this time that could be a potential stress factor. Maybe my feelings on that will change later on and we can always take it up then.

The way things are looking now I may be moving twice, but for some reason moving has never stressed me out so I think we'll be ok there, but I do appreciate pointing that out so I will make sure to watch out so I don't stress about it when the time comes. I should probably use some of the energy I have now to pack some very little used things up.

LOL on the child proofing. As soon as we found out I said to DH at least we can have all the child safety features built in and not have to do it ourselves. Though I don't know what to do about door handles. I need handles as knobs are often painful on my hands.

Susan thank you and that is a good point and not something we would have done. Especially since we don't want formals so we would have ended up with no room to even use like it.

missymar - I was a tightly controlled diabetic before the baby. I use an insulin pump and my last hba1c was 6.0. It will be way lower now as I'm keeping my numbers between 60-110. It takes a lot of energy and planning and I test ~20 times / day vs. the 10 I used to. It will be worth it. I will also be 37 by the time I deliver the baby so higher risk there too and I just had surgery to remove a cyst on my ovary. This was definetly a surprise. I'm really trying to cut out anything optional right now to not add to the plate. We had an ultrasound today and I'm around 7 weeks and the heart was beating as expected and everything looked good. I'm having another on Tuesday as well right before my OB appointment. I think today was for the benefit of my DH as he can't easily get here during the week, but can leave early on a Friday to go with me. Our Doctor is very familiar with our living arrangments and tries to be acoomodating so DH can share in the experience too.

If only the nausea would disappear as I can't really do the snacking on crackers due to carbs. It is just tolerable so it could be worse, but sure would be nice to not have it as it makes meal planning even harder as I have to feel like eating it too.

I hope ya'll don't mind me hanging around and still gathering information as I get ideas or learn something with most every post on here.

I'd use this time to gather as much info as you can. So then when it comes time to build you won't be that stressed. You'll already know which tile, faucets, flooring, etc you want.

I agree w/ the others if you feel up to it when your baby is little go do the rest of the shopping/picking out then. I'm often toting around a 5 & 2 year old and it is NOT fun. As well as the dangers of the little one running around the building site.

I wouldn't wait to start your built. There will never be a perfect time. And it'll be so much harder going to the site with a little baby. You'll need sitters to watch the baby so you can check on the house. I don't see any reason why you can't supervise/general while you are pregnant. It will be almost as stressful shopping for the house and packing & moving and then doing small jobs on the new house to get it ready. Jump in there and go for it.

I agree with so many who said to design/plan/shop now instead of after baby. We adopted 2 babies last summer, then started building in the fall. It is increasingly difficult to go to showrooms, etc. with them. I so wish that I had chosen cabinets, countertops, lighting fixtures, knobs/pulls, etc. earlier in the process!

I am a huge fan of babywearing, too! This would help you get around easily as you are out shopping or on-site with your baby. Also, I wish that my children had spent more playtime in the pack & play. Now, sometimes when I go to the site, I set up the pack & play with a few toys, so that they can hang out there while I check things out. Unfortunately, they would rather be held or by my side, since I didn't get them used to playpen time earlier.

We're moving in a couple of weeks with 19 month olds.

Designing the house to me is floorplan and exterior design of the house and the placement on the lot. I don't have the mental energy to deal with that at the moment.

I already know what I want as far as fixtures and stuff and cabinets and don't think I'll need to spend much time in show rooms at all. Only thing would be to find tile I like for the baths. I've almost completely remodelled our current house and would love to do most of the same things again and since we are on a tight budget, we know these would work within our budget. Some of the choices may not be available by the time we build, but I did a lot of shopping online for the current house and always liked it when it came in so not sure if that will be an issue either.

I don't really have that much time available to me to do these things right now. I work ~50 hrs per week designing computer chips. I'm not quitting as I NEED my very good health insurance plus I really like what I do. I now also spend at least an hour a day figuring out what to eat and not so I eat healthy without throwing off my bloodsugar and trying to find something I want to eat as nothing is appealing to me right now. I also have to spend that time charting my bloodsugar and figure out how to adjust my insulin pump which isn't easy as it is currently changing almost day by day and no day is alike.

I'm not sure where along with being tired I would find the time to design the house (not fixtures or finishes as that we're pretty clear on what we'd like already) even with an architect as we still have to meet and approve plans etc. Right now I feel like I will miss things as my concentration level is down. Then find a builder and supervise the build at a site that is 90 miles away from where each of us work. I can see myself late in pregancy having to stop every 20 minute to go to the bathroom stretching an 1 hr and 30 minute drive one way into a 2hr + drive one way.

Those of you can do this are super human in my eyes as I don't see how I could do it without adding stress to an already high-risk pregnancy. The baby matters more than any house ever will to me.

We built a home during my 1st pregnancy. I think I was just a few months when we signed contract and we moved in when my daughter was 11 days old. There were times when it was a little rough but luckily we lived only 1/2 mile from the new house. Every evening DH and I would take our walk to the new house and check out the daily progress. We were close enough to be able to do this during the entire pregancy. If we lived a good distance, there is no way I would have made it everyday. You have to think of baby and you first before anything. Would I do it again? Yes, but we seem to build very close to where we live.

Congratulations! And yes, please put your energy (what little there is right now) into your health and the baby's. In my experience, the only thing that helps nausea is week 13. With the exception of my second, with whom I was nauseated for 32 weeks, the second trimester was a blessing in so many ways. With the other three I had more energy and spent less time feeling like I was ill. Good luck and take it easy.

For what it's worth, We had major moves during three out of four of my pregnancies. One I was 8 months, One I was 7 months and one I was 9 weeks. Hands down the most difficult one was when I was 9 weeks. I was completely exhausted. Hang in there!

Amy

Congrats Lyfia! How exciting. Children change your priorities and make getting just about anything done more difficult but they are certainly worth it :)

I'd suggest not committing to anything big while you still don't know what you'll be able to handle but keeping the doors open. You'll know when you feel able to do more and you can grasp the opportunity.

We're building with a 10 year old on the site with DH almost everyday. It's not as busy as a site with lots of workers but it's still a challenge keeping him involved but safe. We'd love to be in your shoes but haven't been as lucky as you :) We've always assumed a pregnancy would reduce how much time I could put into the house building project.