I am in appliance he::

18 years ago

After my stove/microwave/dishwasher debaucle earlier this year I thought I had the odds on my side to circumnavigate any subsequent disaster. Foolish me. This month held a fresh new harvest of home joys for my Home Depot card to melt from.

First, my brandy spankin new stove - that took 6 weeks and 3 prior purchases to finally acquire - bit the big one. OK, still under warranty but took 2 days off work and 2 weeks to diagnose, get parts and fix. Back in business.

Washer starts acting up - again. We've had overflow issues intermittently in the past, swell if you need to mop the tile, annoying if you need baseball uniforms toot suite. Snaked out the outflow pipe, problem fixed - we *think*. Casually look in the circulars for new laundry equipment and joke it may be time for new ones. Meanwhile, God logs said levity and puts a check in the 'smite' column for said jokers.

Week later dryer starts grinding like a stripper whose daycare installment is a month overdue...call appliance guy, drop 2 bills, decade old dryer fixed.

2 days later washer keels over in the middle of a wash burning up something [maybe a belt] in the process that smells alot like I sucked up the cat in the vaccuum and lit the whole package on fire.

Somehow this is all my fault for not having Terminal Appliance ESP.

I end up washing elder sons baseball uniform in a bucket so he can play the next day. This is getting *fun*!

Joy culminates in an almost marital extinction fight, followed by another several thousand dollars dropped today on a new Whirlpool Duet pair because they were available for delivery tomorrow.

Bye bye summer vacation, but hey I'll have "Whitest White" cycle underwear. That's important if I get in an accident on my way to the laundry room.

Thank you I needed to get that off my chest. Ahh big breath.

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Comments (12)

centralcacyclist
18 years ago
Poor baby! I know you are in appliance hell but I'm in stitches from your writing! I almost feel slightly better about being the mom to two teens who have managed to have minor brushes with the law in three counties in the past three weeks. Though none of their infractions were worthy of a trip to juvenile hall, I was angry enough to suggest they spend a night there anyway.

Oh yeah, I just came home from the latest incident. (I wanted children, right?)

Ah, hand washing a baseball uniform, lots of fun. Aren't they thick and heavy?
mitchdesj
18 years ago
Reading the 2 posts above made me realize that my NOT getting my master bath countertop on thursday as it was promised, is really not a big deal.
Keep up the faith , better times are ahead for sure.
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teresa_nc7
18 years ago
Oh, dear! Sands I feel your angst against household appliances that rise up to crush us. But if you are not a writer....you should be! You really have a way with words. I thought you were channeling Erma Bombeck for a minute. Seriously, think about writing if you are not already.

Teresa
dedtired
18 years ago
Sands, I'm sorry for your catastrophes but lord that was a funny read! I am positive the appliances wait until you go to bed then plot to have serial implosions.

Barnmom, relax. I raised one who could have outdone your two put together, many times over. I got off the phone with him today (the all-grown -up version) and though what a nice person!
teresa_nc7
18 years ago
Barnmom,
Would those teens be about 17 years old? Seventeen was the magic age from he!! for my two. Those midnight runs to the police dept. are not my idea of fun either!

I feel for you...it does get better....if we don't kill them first. My boys are 34 and 30 and such fine young men...now.

Teresa
jessyf
18 years ago
Oh Sands you are too much. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. The Appliance forum would appreciate your diatribe, I'm sure!

Thanks all for the heads up on teens....mine are pretty well behaved for now, but I'm filing all this in the back of my head under 'it COULD happen'....
centralcacyclist
18 years ago
Appliance hell awaits me when I finally decide to replace the broken oven/microwave combo and the stove top. I've been putting it off for ages just for that reason.

My teens are 16 and 17 and have been fabulous until now. I'm not inclined to be a rigid, controlling parent and have probably given them enough rope to hang themselves to some degree. Now I've had to give that leash a yank and reel tham back in for some guidance. I call it Mama Anderson's diversion program. We spent the day together yesterday riding through some icky parts of town and talking about what kind of lives they wish to create for themselves, setting goals, and making choices to accomplish those goals. And about being mindful and aware about how we conduct ourselves as we are making decisions about the course of our lives daily. And other things like addictions (to many things, not just drugs), moderation, the difference between just stupid behavior and immoral behavior.

I also talked about the fact that when someone behaves badly, it gives other people license to be disrespectful toward them. Not a fun consequence. And I pointed out the obvious, that I've never been a punitive parent, that they learn more from the outcome of their bad behavior than from arbitrary punishment. And they have to listen to me talk, not lecture. Boy can I ramble. I wear them out.

And to keep my son busy the rest of the summer I helped him write his resume. Monday he begins job hunting.

Eileen, keeping a hand on a shorter tether.
teresa_nc7
18 years ago
Eileen, you GO, Mom!
sands99
Original Author
18 years ago
Eileen, wha'happen'd?? Sounds like you have it all under control now :) I think a kid would rather do hard time than listen to us reason with 'em, hell why not go the extra mile and sing your rambles that'll drive them *insane*. Somehow they forget that we've been where they are ;-) so not only did we get our own copy of "How to Lose Parents and Inflame people" at 13 we now own the publishing company. Heh heh. Suckers.

I have thought of writing an observation humor book on life, you know "Crouching Mommy, Hidden Cellphone" kinda thing. But if I get rich and famous what angst would I have to write about ;-)?
jessyf
18 years ago
Sands go for it. Please don't deprive the world of your wit.

In the meantime, here is something my son has on his bulletin board, given to him by his father.

{{gwi:1450697}}
dgkritch
18 years ago
Yep. 'Bout 16-17 seems to be the age....
We used to say it was time to stop talking when their eyes glazed over! Quite a sight to have 4 teens lined up on the couch/chair/floor looking like the conversation didn't even involve them.

"FAMILY MEETING" ----- ---- ----- Words to make 'em cringe! LOL

Deanna (don't wanna talk about appliances)
User
18 years ago
Sands , so sorry for your woes but damn you are funny! I love the line about the stripper...LOL , really OL! You write that book and put me on the list for a first edition.

My idea of laugh heaven would be a weekend with you and sol......

Eileen, just so long as they knew better than to roll their eyes! This too shall pass Mom and they will once again be sweet, good kids.

Jessy I love that sign! Meredith has just come into the " when did you and Dad get so smart" stage ! She evens asks for my advice! LOL

I am in appliance he::

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