Those of you who have wasted time watching enjoyed my videos on youtube might have noticed our little dog, Bushie, who makes the occasional appearance when I am not talking about an appliance. She is half Pomeranian and half Chihuahua with a dash of weiner dog in there somewhere on her dad's side. She is a sweet little thing but she can get pretty angry when her mellow gets harshed by intruders and noisy appliances.

She barks at the the bug man, the mail lady, every visitor, my kids and grandkids, Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, Meter Readers, Process Servers, lawn equipment of every sort, marauding Republican pamphleteers, and every passing neighborhood child and creature she gets an indignant eyeload of from her perch on our front window sill.

And let's not forget the vacuum.

When she hears the utility closet open and the squeaky undercarriage of the sweeper bumping along the tiles it's, "huh, what's this? Grrr. You don't intend to run that thing in HERE, do you?"

"Why I'll --- Oh NO YOU DON'T!"

"I forbid it! BARK BARK BARK!"

We have this old Riccar upright that's been around for the past decade. And while it has worked quite well up until recently, it it has always been noisy. The thing howls like an F-4 from the moment it is switched on until the last stray Goldfish cracker has been ingested. Bushie has always taken the racket as effront. But with the old vacuum she knew just what to attack because it is all one piece.

So, the old Riccar has begun to sound funny lately, track wrong like the frame is bent, and demonstrate a profound lack of suck, like the impeller motor bearings are shot.

Plus, it just stinks. The musty aroma coming out of the thing makes me want to soak it in bleach.

Enough is enough. So I went on the hunt for a replacement vacuum. But what to buy? This time, I wanted quiet, I wanted good filtration of the expelled air, and I wanted powerful suction. We have always had upright vacuums, but they are not nearly so flexible as the modern canister models. You can't pull the powerhead off an upright, for one thing. Canisters allow removal of the powerhead/beater bar attachment in favor of a plain brush for hard surface flooring.

Also, the vacuuming motion is easier when you don't have to move the mass of the entire device back and forth.

So a canister type it would be. Now, what brand??? Well, over the past year I have become very attached to my Miele appliances. And Miele does make vacuums. Soooo . . .

The problem for me would be to find a way to buy what I wanted at a discount. Miele's minimum advertised pricing racket rubs me the wrong way. It strikes me as oppressive when you go online and EVERY seller lists the exact same price; all of them too damned high.

So no, I was not going to conform. This is America and I can bargain if I want. Well, it took me about 15 minutes to get my pickaxe into the Miele price wall. The scam? Work a trade-in. Miele can hardly punish their dealers for taking old vacuums in on trade, can they? So, by paying in cash and taking in an old useless vacuum I picked up at a thrift store for $5, I got $300 off list at a Miele dealer and walked out with a brand new Capricorn with the SEB-236 power head for $900.

Yeah, that's still a lot of money for a vacuum, granted, but once you get it home and plugged in you will know why. It is so quiet. And that is what is confusing my dog. She doesn't know what part to bite. The noise comes out of the funny thing at the other end of the hose, but it's so muted that it is almost pleasant to listen to. And no noise at all out of the powerhead until you switch on the beater bar, and then it is still not unpleasant to listen to. So I have my dog running around behind to get the canister and then back up to the front to try to bite the powerhead.

Some great features:

1. You step on a switch on the canister to turn the main power on and off.

2. But you turn the motor and the beater bar off and on with electronic controls on the handle.

3. It really picks up doggy hair

4. The metal wand extends to twice its length at the touch of a button.

5. This, combined with the fact that by twisting your wrist you can lay the whole thing down flat enough to get all the way under furniture, bedding, toe-kick recesses, etc., makes it far more useful than an upright in tight quarters.

Unsurprisingly, this Miele is the best vacuum I have ever used, yet alone owned, and I could not be happier. Bushie is still undecided about it.