Celeste, Your Grace is such a cutie. What a wonderful name -- Grace -- it's my youngest daughter's middle name. Your Grace looks a lot like my Stephanie Grace, and they're about the same age. That got me feeling maternal, and angry at this piece of cosmic joke that we call a man. This guy has found an easy target in your daughter. It's flattering to be showered with attention by an older "man", who has probably lived long enough to figure out how to schmooze a young lady. Let's be frank, it's not all that difficult to reel in the typical young lady. While you're waiting for her to think clearly (God, it's tough at that age), there are some small measures you could take. Personally, I'd do everything that Ann suggested. I'd file police reports regarding the thefts, and chronicle every attempt at contact; what was said and when it was said. Heck, I probably would have set up a trap for him. But I'm heartless when it comes to stuff like this; plus, there's the risk that it would backfire, which would not be good. I know you have to walk a delicate line, and you are the best one to assess the possible fallout of whatever is done. Talk to your daughter about how there's nothing noble or romantic about choosing a chaotic life; how it gets tiring to live with someone who has a personality disorder, and who, for no good reason, undermines family relationships and isolates her from those who can bring sanity to life. Recruit someone she respects and admires, not a close family member who would be perceived as having an agenda, who can give her a reality check in the form of a good talking-to. Good cop, bad cop. You be the good cop who provides the hugs and sympathy, and let someone else be the rational, no-nonsense bad cop. Don't be around when the bad cop does their part of the job or it will look obvious. This guy obviously has sociopathic tendencies, in that he is unable to care about how his actions affect others. He steals from those who are his benefactors. He steals from your daughter...a person he supposedly loves. These are crimes. They may be petty crimes, but they are still crimes, and there's a reason it is so. He will never admit to that, obviously. Worse yet, he will never care. He will not suddenly, magically change. You can't let her overlook these realities. If she starts waxing romantic about this guy you might ask her some questions that may help her see the situation, such as: 1. What is the thing he is most proud of building and accomplishing? He's in his 30s; what have most people accomplished by this age? What do you plan to accomplish by the time you're in your 30s? What do you think is the reason he hasn't accomplished as much as the average person in their 30s? 2. He must have talked about what he wants to do with his life (life? what life?). What were his dreams? What steps did he take to achieve his goal? (We know the answer.) 3. If he's working now (yeah, right), who is his employer? What kind of benefits does he get? Would you call his employer and verify his work history? In 6 months? A year? Questions like these, if phrased well and presented in a factual way, have straightforward answers. You'll have to pretend that you are sincere. You can only accept answers to the questions, not excuse-making. Point out the difference. Although I wouldn't want to foist this buffoon on anyone else, hopefully he'll meet his match while attempting to find another source of revenue. This will distract him from your daughter and maybe get him into big trouble. Or, ideally, maybe he'll steal from someone who will not be so forgiving and end up in jail. We can hope. Good luck, Celeste. Many hugs and wishes for a positive outcome. Keep us posted.

Burtsmomforever, I am the youngest girl of the 7 kids. I moved in with my mom "aunt " 5 days before my 14th birthday. Her middle daughters made my life hell. And I say that because they where evil children. I know that the daughters resent the relationship Mom and I had. Out of the 7 kids I am one for 2 others that called her all the time . came to visti . And was there for her No matter what happened in life. My husband knows how I feel about My mom. He is there with me with every time I cry over her or just miss her. He tells me No matter what My mom is here with me . My husband and I are planing a trip to the mountains and when I go I am taking 5 potted plants , moms flowers and planting them at the falls where her ashes had been released. I dont know why I hurt so bad over her. I know that she is Not hurting anymore. I just miss her. I miss the talks we had. I missed the time I had with my mom. I am working out the feelings slowly. I know in my heart that she is ok and she is looking down aponded all of us . I know there isnt a day that gos by that I will not long for our talks or the times we had together. But Some days are just harder then other ones.

Sorry - I guess, being a novice, I didn't give enough info. We are still building the house, so power to the pool is intermittent. We are just getting hooked into the grid this week (PG&E finished running lines to the property about 1 week ago and electrician is now connecting to the house & pool). We plan on keeping the pool active through the winter, so we are not winterizing. Is this an error? Current temps are about as cold as it normally gets all winter. I have definitely checked the overflow - it is and has been for at least 2 weeks - dry. racket: I would guess you are correct, since this PB seems to do everything wrong! poolguynj: We immediately checked the chemicals - they are good. I will have DH check the bonding circuit. Please - what is a bonding circuit? DH might know (he's an electronic engineer), but I have no idea.

Yes, the unfunded liabilities are going to be the death of Detroit. All they have to do is stop paying the GM or Chrysler or "Fords" pensions, and all of Michigan dies. Those pensioners have vacation homes "up north," where tourism is the whole economy. Actually, they just have to stop payiing for retirement health care and we get the same results. My previous DH's dad lost his pension when Jones and Laughlin (later, US Steel) reneged on their pension obligations to the northern Minnesota taconite miners. He got a fraction of what he was supposed to get because the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation had to take over paying the miners their pensions. He worked his whole life welding the mining equipment, built his home debt-free as he had the money, raised four children, and died gasping from the lung damage he got from his job. How well do you think the Pension Guaranty folk are going to do spreading the money around when it isn't a few miners and steelworkers, but several industries at once? What is dragging at the economy? Perhaps the unfunded war? The gears are grinding slower and slower and I just hope we have not already lost too much momentum. Has anyone else read The Sheep Look Up? Didn't John Brunner predict well how a confluence of errors and neglect could do us in? I'm just on a real downer tonight. DF-in-L went back to the hospital and is just not coping at all well with unexpected health problems.