Dear Elizabeth, I am so sorry that you carry so much pain inside. I think I know how bad it is...only because the death of both parents still causes much pain. We ache for them and the "hole" that they leave. Lucky you to be so close to your brother. I will never know the closeness of a sibling as he and I were the only 2 children. He was my parent's biological child and they adopted me from birth. Sometimes I think he didn't like me...and he was the only family member to ever treat me differently or said anything about me not "really" being family. This was especially obvious when my dad died and made me the executor of the estate (younger child...and in my brother's opinion "not blood"), so maybe that's why he cut me out of his life. I could try to guess for years, but am trying to close the book on a chapter that was particularly painful. I beat myself up for years, and now that he's gone, I have to let the pain and the "shoulda, coulda, woulds" go. I don't claim this to be a universal approach, but I can get on with my life not worrying about him and I am glad that he's not in need of anything. He wouldn't take any help I offered unless it involved a "dead president" (I heard someone refer to money as that and thought it was clever). So...the weight is off my shoulders. I am still sad and will be everytime I think of him...but I can't let it drag me down. MY HIPPIS NEED ME to be happy!! THE DATE was nice (ok, it's 9PM and I'm home....) this was dinner with Ed. I met him on a cruise in 1997 (they thought we were a married couple!!) and we have dinner every year. He lives in IL and I usually catch up with him on the way to a dog show. He happened to drive his new car down towards Houston and invited me to a very nice Italian resturant. New car??? His old Miata was just fine by me...fun and zippy (I used to have a convertible too), but the new car is fun and zippier. A new Porche boxter! Boys and their toys. Tomorrow is another "date" of sorts. Going to a wine tasting and meeting a friend (Alan) there. Asked him what I should bring and he recommended cheesecake, so I made a Chocolate Kaluha chocolate chip cheesecake with ganauche(?) on top! :-) see what these guys are missing?? Handy in the yard AND kitchen?? Kristi

Gamecock, what you are looking for is exactly what we are selling. And the wider target range is something I hadn't thought of. But other than the 2 BRs (large, by the way) its a nice family home on .5 acre lot. Thanks, thats encouraging. xamsx, its in a burb (many still going up) outside of Rochester. We had an estate/garage sale recently and even with the obvious plywood floors so many people commented on what a lovely home it is and asked if we were thinking of selling. DK average DOM around here but will find out. Frog_hopper, haven't signed with agent yet although two came by the sale and of course want the listing. One lives down the street and another was just out "garage sale"ing. She offered to work up comps for me and followed up with a phone call. She suggested listing it with "flooring to be completed by closing" to take advantage of the season. Meeting another over there tomorrow. Thanks all for your input. I'm kind of overwhelmed with just trying to clear this place of all the furniture, etc. to be able to get things going. Any further thoughts or questions welcome. Sandy

"“There are no bad guys in all this,” Goldman said of Carlyle and Plaza del Rey. “When I see people saying ‘It’s really expensive for me,’ I say if you’re not working in high tech, which requires you to be here, why are you here? If you’re here, you’re making a decision every minute you’re here that the cost of being here is worth it.” what an incredible idiotic thing to say. what if you feed the ones who work in high tech, teach their kids, nurse the sick and the elderly? A city can't exist if it's populated only by X people. It needs the whole alphabet array of folks functioning properly you know the numerous strikes of different unions in Jerusalem where I lived for many years showed me who's the really more important to the infrastructure-and you'd never tell. teachers-can go on strikes until everybody's blue( which they do. lol). nurses..reach agreements a bit faster. still might take a couple of weeks. i remember them being on strike even longer once. doctors-goes faster with them than with nurses city bus drivers-couple days and their requirements are met waste management? all it took was several hours of not picking the trash ..in 35 C heat. they were all set by the evening of that very day lol thank you for sharing that article..and I read each and every response with great interest here in Southern OC young families can be outbid for months in a row on the most affordable homes in 400s-500s and such..usually these will be small attached condos in okay parts of the cities with okay schools, nothing remotely fab. New construction-no lot, stupid layout, probably costs like our remodeled fixer upper( maybe including the cost of remodel)..tons of association fees, and I'm not even sure what these associations do Our condo we sold-yeah they were PITA sometimes with their constant repairs maintenance and beautifying..but on the other hand they did repair maintained and beautified:) (except for a big miss when they decided to paint exteriors a new color. without consulting me ahahaa. or anybody for that matter) The rental for my MIL is already approaching 2K for a tiny one bedroom apartment, built in 60s, nothing to look at, the complex looks like my life lol, maintained but not updated in any way, very basic, laundry outside(and you need to pay for it. the nerve of these people)..the only good thing about it is its location-close proximity to us, to shops, library, parks..especially to one of the parks that she loves that's several steps away. Gives her some independence, us-some peace of mind knowing that we can be there in 2 min pick her up for whatever, and she has her room in our place if needed. Still I remember coming here from Stamford CT where we lived, on and off, for seven years altogether, and being somewhat pleasantly surprised by the prices:) It was 2010. (some cities in CT are very upscale and look that part but Stamford even though it's right there surrounded by them, could use..I don't know..could use something LOL. Some revolutionary thought. Like, clean the damn ice in the winter?)

A Cautionary Tale. Senior friends once bought a 'carefree' Over-55 Independent Living Home in Northern California. It was the best one-floor house they could find -- and afford -- when moving across country to be closer to family in a city an hour away. The house was perfect, and that was the sole positive. Like most of these Del Webb type developments, this one was built on raw land, part of a former almond orchard in this case. It was a golf course oriented community They don't golf. (Have I said enough?) They had nothing in common with the other residents -- who either lived for golf or were too frail to leave their homes. Yet every resident paid to maintain the course and clubhouse. Nearby towns were tiny, offering very limited resources, including *help*. The towns resented the Senior development residents, who voted down tax increases for improvements, including school referendums. Also, the 'hour' from family could easily become three hours depending on traffic. There was nothing for grandchildren to do at Grandma's, so the elders were always the ones commuting. (They also had to travel for medical needs.) Development lots were the size of postage stamps, and our friends lot was was only a few feet from the remaining orchard. This was lovely in spring, except for the giant wild rabbits that lived in it, and the spraying, but it was nasty at harvest time, with heavy equipment creating dirt and dust for weeks -- and the influx of displaced rabbits and insects. There were the usual four or five different models of smooth white homes, set a few feet apart on narrow streets. Residents came and went via their garages, and of course there were no children. There was no shade. Dead silence prevailed. When we visited, I was struck by the similarity to an over sized mausoleum. Much is often made of 'gated communities' being 'secure'. This place had a gate with a security guard...during the day..and no surrounding fence connecting to the gate. Our friends were able to move into the city after a few (long) years.