Hi again everyone, I think the problem that's depressing her so, is that he doesn't really take part in many of the responsibilities of being a homeowner. He helps her with the dishes, laundry, and running the kids around, but he doesn't know how to care for the furnace, watersoftener, lawn equipment, cars, etc. He doesn't even know how or who to call. He never takes any initiative or responsibility for any improvements or even plain maintenance of things. Sure, it's great that he helps with dishes, but he's totally uninvolved in all those things you think a man should be in charge of, or at least help with. She loves her flower garden in the back yard, for example, but the rabbits keep eating them. He keeps promising her a fence, but never does it. She has had to build all the shelves and storage in her house, be in charge of any changes and repairs that are ever made. Her husband works hard at his job, but has no interests or motivations for anything in the home. She has tried talking with him, but he gets angry and blows up. I think, unfortunately, it's one of those "irreconcilable differences" relationships. She's an interesting, bright, funny, perceptive person, who enjoys all sorts of things, but has become limited because of her fibromyalgia. Her husband is content to work too much and come home and have no motivation or personality left. I feel really badly for her. I guess I just need to encourage her to do things that bring her pleasure and comfort and listen to her. But it's sad, that she feels so trapped in this relationship. Thanks again for your suggestions.

You know, Pookiesmom, I think you are certainly on the right road of communication, with your son. To have a close relationship with him, that he feels it is the right thing to talk to his mum about a problem he has, thats a real golden moment. I hope you encourage this, and make it a good habit. You must be a good listener, and I congratulate you ! I think your son definitely has to stick to his guns, about his insistence of playing with other children. If he just presents a front of passive friendliness, I am sure over time this kid will get fed up, or bored, and seek other things to do. I mean, things like, don't engage in chat with him, beyond, short one-word answers. But maintain politeness. Don't ask him anything. Perhaps he should just say "I am going to play over here, with my friends now, and you will have to go and play in the sandpit ". Its really tricky this situation, because we want our children to be kind, compassionate and inclusive in their play. But sometimes, some children, exceed the boundaries, and quite frankly, they wear out their welcome. I think its important for THEM to get the message, in a nice way, or as nice as possible, that they need to learn social boundaries. I think calling the parents is not something that will give a good outcome. In fact it could cause more upset to more people. I try to work on the theory that empowering our children, to deal with situations, themselves, is my first port of call. Its all invaluable experience for them. Let us know how you get on. POPI

Thank you, sis! I got very lucky when I found this place. It's a lot of work, which is good, mostly spring, summer, and fall, of course. And oh, wish I could put it on wheels and move it to a nicer and more friendly town…but, can't have everything, I guess! What do you think of that photo of the barn window opening outward? I wonder how that would look on a wall, like an illusion of looking out the wall at a field? Might be interesting! And back at you, re: beautiful homes. This post was edited by Tibbrix on Sat, Feb 7, 15 at 20:25

Ah, gotcha. Well that seems easier to me than having "attractants" planted in the yard to invite them in. In that case, she can definitely try some of the minty plants I listed above and/or using the fertilizer lecorps4fun mentioned. I wasn't familiar with it and had to Google it, finding both good and bad reviews on using it as deer repellent. My opinion is that it probably wouldn't be very effective if it was used to deter deer from eating hostas in most of our gardens, but if used on the grass and any bushes they aren't interested in eating anyway then it just might be very good at keeping deer out of the area, if she's willing to keep reapplying it. Not sure if there are any "sonic" options that look like solar lights and would work. Also not sure if placing dog fur and/or poop around the perimeter of her property might help, but since some people have both indoor dogs that go out to pee/poop and still have deer pooping in their yards too then my guess would be no.