We are getting off the topic, but I remember the lush yard of my childhood w/ all the clover and watching the honeybees, and the exciting days when we would take the honey out of the hives... I planted clover and I wish all the weedy grass would go away! (No neighbors are going to care here as our lots are set in the middle of woods, and we are out in the country.) My clover has had a tough time (doesn't like sand?), but there is one low-growing weed that I am encouraging as it does not need to be mowed. No mowing is my goal. As for my clems (many of which you all enabled!), they are doing fairly well. I was most impressed w/ Arabella- the best bloomer! I have mostly watered from my rain barrels this summer and it is not very satisfactory because the sand soaks up the moisture so fast (great for watering pots and small areas though). I too have to figure out where to plant the ones I stuck in pots in the spring. Most are going into the rose garden (if the roses don't make it maybe the clems will). I have planted several to climb up my deck railings. I know there is a lot of controversy about adding soil amendments, but I am with the other readers who see the fence as a prime planting ground. Maybe someone who knows more about amendments could help out? I wish you the best of luck in finding them a good place, and would appreciate it if you will wish me luck as well. Thanks, Brandy

I cried reading everyone's responses. There is nothing like loosing your mother. I lost my mother on Feb 20th of this year and it was sudden but not unexpected as we knew were living on borrowed time, she suffered from COPD and congestive heart failure. We should have lost her in 2004 but she stayed with us till she had no reserve left, that is what the doc's call it when your lungs no longer have the capacity to store more oxygen. There is one thing I have learned that I would like to pass on and that is not to play the "what if" game with yourself. We can do that all day if we want but the end result is guilt because we create a scenario as we "Think" things may have turned out or may have been and no one knows or has a crystal ball to look back in time and say "yep had I done this or that things would have been better" Our mother's as stated in an earlier post really do not want their children to see them die. They are always thinking of us and I am sure they are thinking "I need to spare them this pain" and I have to say this. I was lucky enough to be with my mom when she took her last breath but that is an image I will never get out of my head. My mother's body once full of life, all of a sudden she was gone, it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through, to watch someone die in front of you is not something I ever want to see again, and yet, I am grateful I was able to be with her when she did pass. it sounds twisted I know, but it was just so truly sad to see her there one minute and then gone the next. Even though I spent 12 hours a day with her for 7 days before she died, I find myself thinking "I should have said or done more" but truly what else could I have said, or done. I sat next to her and held her hand, washed her face, stroked her head and face, massaged her arms and held her hand, kissed her face, made her laugh, shared moments with her, comforted her and gave her ice chips to suck on. I even bought her her favorite flower, a red rose. She smelled it, I brushed it against her cheek, she loved it. And all I did, I would catch myself and say, "if only I did more or said more" but I did not need to, and I remind myself of that all the time because that "What if" thought always pops into my head. Mother's know how much we love them, they see it in our eyes and we see how much they love us in their eyes. The sweetest thing my mother gave me was the look. She and I while I was drawing pictures of she and I when I was a little girl holding her hand, she looked at me and for 6 seconds we just stared at each other and I saw the most amazing amount of love she had for me, and we did not say a word but we smiled and cried and she said "I love you" and I know I will never experience anyone looking at me the way she did. Playing the "what if" game will just make you go nuts, I am sure our mother's knew how much we loved them, they could feel us even when we were not with them, and I am positive they did not want us to see them die, God controls everything for his own purpose and reasoning. And no matter what we may have felt we did wrong, or did not do enough of before our mother's passed, I for sure can say this, as they are in the presence of the Lord, all earthly things are passed and they are not thinking about what we did or did not do and they are for sure not judging us. There is one big party in heaven, a celebration for each child who comes home to be with the Lord, as the Lord knows our hearts, I am sure our mother's knew our hearts and knew we loved them. We are only human, not perfect, and we did the best we could and our mother's loved and love us no matter what. If you think they died alone I can honestly say that I truly believe when someone dies they are never alone, an angle is there to take them to heaven and my mom kept looking around the room before she passed as she said she heard strange sounds and wanted to know where they were coming from and she was so peaceful. I believe she heard the trumpet sounds being made for her entry into heaven. The bible says when we die, those who know the Lord are in his presence and all worries and pain and sadness are no longer. I hope this provides some comfort, just don't beat yourselves up about what you could have done or said. Our mother's know how much we loved them and all we wanted to say and do. God bless

but prof. nice guy didn't ask about staying or leaving... exactly. He said he wanted to meet a woman who was more fun *& that his therapist encouraged him to do so*. which sounds like a lie. In fact, his initial post reads a little like a singles ad ("my sisters-in-law describe me as 'funny & sweet'", "I want to meet a woman who likes to laugh", etc) His request for 'advice' reads a lot like he's fishing for permission/approval/blessing,("it would be nice to keep my marriage but be emtionally close to someone, too") Snort! & his statement that his wife is willing to have sex without emotional involvement but he wants the involvement sounds really really strange, since it's backwards to what usually happens (woman wants emotional closeness, man willing to have sex without it). like he made it up & he's seeing what response it'll get. One of the worst experiences of my life was many years ago, when I was young & inexperienced & a married man caused me a lot of aggravation, but, as a result, my "married man on the prowl" detector still works pretty well:. I had been dating this guy for several weeks when I learned that he was married. only, as he said, since it didn't have anything to do with what went on between us, he didn't think he needed to mention it. He saw nothing wrong with lying to me, lying to his wife, complicating my life, his wife's life, his children's lives, heck, he wasn't worried about complicating *anybody's* life, as long as he could have dinner/clean house/charming children...& dates. It was degrading to be manipulated & lied to like that, it was mortifying to discover that I was the "other woman", & it was humiliating to extricate myself from the situation & answer the questions my friends asked about the "new guy" I had been so happy about. but the guy sort-of mentally shrugged & decided that I was just as crazy/needy/irrational as his wife, *since I was having a good time*... until I found out about this little bit of (irrelevant & superfluous) information. This is a married man on the prowl, looking for approval/justification, & he posted this to see what kind of objections he'd get, so he can refine his approach to the next "woman who likes to laugh" that he runs into in the real world. betcha.

Hi Seajay! I am glad to see you are making progress! It is very rainy here today on the Gulf coast! I have a contractor remodeling our master bath right now! The soak tub has been converted to a walk-in shower. And the old shower is being framed as a closet! They have been here since Tuesday, and they are almost done today! Yay! The painter we are hiring just called and wants to start next Tuesday! OMG, my head is spinning!😂🤣😂