Hi. I know what you mean. I am a SAHM, with a 6-year-old and a 6-month-old. Have you ever checked out the Fly Lady system? I found it a little over a year ago and, while I certainly don't follow it to a tee, it has really helped me learn to establish daily routines that after about a month, become habit. It is for both SAHM's and working moms. And after about a month of making yourself do the daily routines, it becomes a habit and you don't even really think about it and it helps your house stay clean and presentable without a lot of work. You may have already tried this. I just know this has worked well for me, just in the routine things. Something else other than Fly Lady may work better for you, but if you just set yourself up a daily routine (such as maybe a load or two of laundry a day, and a few minutes here and there to do the little things), it may help. I know it is going to be harder for you trying to go to school and do this than for someone who is at home all the time. You'll get it worked out, though.

oh my please tell me more about the fly lady system. I am a sahm that homeschools to girls 12 and 14 and you would swear they are only 2 by the way they throw everything around and honestly make the house look like a tornado went thru it in an hour. I get so frustrated I could just scream...my choices are to constantly argue and fuss at them to get it clean or to just do it myself and neither are working right now...lmao I would love to learn more about the system so I can maybe..hopefully get into some kind of routine and get this house in order.

Hi, cyn123. I don't know if this site allows posting links, so I'm not going to post the link, but there is a flylady website, which is the name of the site. You can join but you don't have to join b/c you can still go to the website to get tips.

I know what you mean about kids leaving stuff everywhere. Sometimes it's just easier to pick it up myself, lol.

Anyway, after I take my shower in the mornings, I automatically spray Scrubbing Bubbles in the shower and just let the water run for a minute to rinse it out. Takes about 1 minute. Most days I use a disinfecting disposable wipe to wipe down the sink and outer surfaces of the toilet right quick (takes about 1 or 2 minutes tops)and about once a week clean the toilet completely (ugh). Now, that bathroom is clean and stays clean without even thinking about it. Also, I take my dirty clothes straight to the laundry room after my shower and throw them and more clothes in the washer so at least one load of laundry gets done that day. You can throw them in the dryer later that day. This keeps a huge mound of clothes from piling up.

For the main bathroom, after the kids baths, I follow the same routine as I do for my bathroom. This way, the bathtub never gets too bad dirty and I only have to really clean it about once a month and even then it isn't a lot of work b/c it's not really dirty b/c I keep it rinsed out every day.

I usually (not always) make my bed and other little stuff just when I get an extra couple of minutes in the day. As far as clutter, most times when I'm going to another room and see stuff out of place, I try to go ahead and pick it up on my way and put it where it goes.

I don't have a dishwasher, but I wash dishes a couple of times a day when I have a couple of minutes to keep them from piling up and when I cook, I wash dishes as I cook so I donÂt have as big of a mess to clean up after supper.

These are just some of the things that work for me. Of course, I do have to sweep my floors every other day or so. I have all wood floors and linoleum in kitchen/bathrooms, so I try to mop once a week, which I DESPISE (I admit sometimes it's only once every 2 weeks).

I usually dust the living room furniture about once a week when I have extra time and energy and the bedroom furniture about once every two weeks usually.

Basically, your house is presentable and after doing it for a few weeks, it becomes a part of your routine and you don't even realize you've done it, with the exception of the bigger weekly chores (dusting, mopping, etc.).

My whole daily routine altogether, when I donÂt have to mop or dust (not including tending to kids) is about 30 minutes.

You can check out the website, though, and then cater it to your lifestyle. Good luck!

Sorry . . . didn't mean for this to be this long.

Having never met a link I was afraid to post AND pointing out the "URL" option at the end of the posting area:

. . . why are so many people across the internet afraid to post links? That's why they exist. A link is not a copyright infringement. It's a way to obtain knowledge. That's like the librarian being unable to tell you where a certain book is. "No, you guess where it is and go chasing after it . . ."

So here's the unfortunate truth that I have learned about housework. It's never DONE. As soon as one task is done another one needs to be done. And by the time that one is done, the first one needs to be done again.

For me the biggest thing that helps is to GET RID OF STUFF. The more stuff you have to move around, the longer it takes to clean. This is particularly true of kids toys. Between Christmas and birthdays and grandparents, most kids have 5-10 times the number of toys that they actually play with.

I agree that you should check out Flylady. I used the system for a while, but ultimately it didn't work for me. What did stick though was one of her key principles... just do something. Even if it's just little bit. Don't get overwhelmed by the thought of scrubbing down the entire bathroom. Just grab a wipe and wipe down the sink. Something is always better than nothing.

The other thing that works for me personally is having a designated place to put things. If I know the dog's toys belong in that basket, that's where they go. Otherwise, they end up strewn all over the floor.

As Ming Ming says..."This is SEWIOUS."

My boys are now 19 and 22...but I remember what it was like to have two VERY little wild men in the house. I didn't have a dishwasher, and our first home was teeny. So here are the words of a veteren SAHM:

Lowered expectations are your friend. Decide what absolutely MUST happen, make that happen, and let go of the rest. The beauty of dust is that it is inert. It will still be there. Believe that a certain amount of mess and clutter will be with you for a few years, and accept it. It helps to have a couple of baskets that you can scoop clutter into and hide in a closet if you find out guests will be showing up in a few minutes. Dirty dishes can go in the oven (I'm assuming you haven't got a dishwasher)just don't forget they are there! Lights on dimmers help hide dust. Candlelight is your friend!

When my kids were that age I did laundry daily...seemed like less work to fold one load than if I let it pile up.

You'll figure it out. And DH should be pitching in. One way or another. He doesn't "do dishes?" Fine--he should clean the bathrooms. Or SOMETHING. Hrrmph.

Thanks, useratl. I know it's crazy but I'm new here and sometimes I get paranoid about posting links and think people are going to think I'm spamming. Next time I'll know. :)

I agree with you, mjsee, on the DH chipping in. My DH works 12 hrs a day hard labor and since I stay home I keep most things done so he can rest on his off days. But on his off days, I still expect him to pick up after himself (I'm not the maid) and take out the trash and change lightbulbs when needed and run errands here and there.

If I were NOT a SAHM, I am definitely one who thinks housework and kids should be 50/50 between DH and wife! That goes for cooking too. :)

Smalls.

GardenWeb will send you an email if you post an unfriendly site. They do block some links because some of them will harvest email addresses.

Mystique - the Flylady site will help. Don't be a slave to it, but do use the techiniques. They work.

I disagree with "lowering one's expectations". That is a negative view. I would rather say "choose what is important". I know, I know - semantics! But it really does make a difference.

Decide what is important to you - do the toys need to be picked up at the end of the day? Does laundry all over the sofa drive you bonkers? Or is it the mess in the kitchen? Work on a system - and flylady can be adapted to almost any lifestyle.

Only you can answer these question.

mary c---I was remembering a Mad Tv skit... does anyone else remember the fake commercial for the dating site "Lowered Expectations?"
Ah well, it really IS semantics. And honestly, some people expect TOO much. It really is impossible to keep a house spotless, go to school full-time, and chase after very small children. Something's gotta give!

When I feel overwhelmed, I just cut back a little and focus on "The Three D's"-dinner,dishes, and duds. As long as my family has good food, clean clothes, and I keep the kitchen clean,I feel that's ENOUGH. I have tried Flylady. Read her sight or get her book, and pick out what you think you can handle. I agree, no one is Supermom.

My son is 16, and he cleans the bathrooms, vaccuums the
carpet, takes out the garbage adn occasionally cleans the
kitchen. This is all done under duress, but he does a good
job.

I remember when he was little and I was going to school. I
always had a pile of dirty dishes, and an even bigger pile
of laundry. We lived in a tiny house and sometimes, I would
have to move a pile of dirty dishes to the bathroom, to make enough room to fix a meal.

Often, when I had some free time, rather than cleaning up,
I'd take my son to the park or the swimming pool for a few
hours. I figure that housework will always need doing but
your kids are only young once.

im a SAHM with an 8, 5, 3 and 21month old. two of my kids have special needs and i am also a full time (at home) student. honoustly i have a house keeper. she comes 3 hours per week, at 12$ an hour, she does all my floors, bathrooms, and dusts top to bottom. im a clean freak and tidy like crazy myself, clean my kitchen and maintain the bathrooms (thank goodness for those bleach wipes). the way i see it, we dont smoke, barely drink, have no satelite or cable TV, i have celiac disease so i have to cook from scratch and cant eat in most restauraunts. my housekeeper is WONDERFULL she gets more done in 3 hours than i could in 3 days. this gives me time to keep up with the mound of laundry that i have, as well my 8 yo now unloads and puts the dishwasher away as her chore. this gives me time to spend with my kids, study and once in a while play a computer game. i dont justify her she is a god send for me, and my hubby could care less about the money if it is helping ot keep me sane. GOOD LUCK!!

hamc36, good for you in teaching your son to be a clean person. No one wants to marry a man who is a pig or likes to live like one. I know way too many parents who don't teach their kids house cleaning skills and then they grow up to be slobs and expect everyone around them to clean their messes. Pitiful!! It's part of raising a responsible child. House work, unless you're fabulously rich, is something we should all be doing, male or female.

I agree with hamc36, especially about spending time with the kids, even if it means leaving dust or dirty dishes. You can clean up the house after the kids are grown, but you won't get to cuddle with them and read to them when they're married and gone. Our three girls are in their 40s (dear me, I can't be that old!) and have families of their own. They don't remember the dirty dishes in the sink or the dust behind the sofa, but they cherish memories of family outings or evenings spent with their father and me reading or playing games. Make your children's childhoods special.

Hi
I have been reading this post with great interest. My question, 2 U is, what did U learn from your mothers, about keeping house? Did U grow up in a home with cleaning people or would U, not have anyone over after school, as U were way 2 ashamed as 2 the way U lived?! I am unable 2 fathom why this thread even exists!

If U have time 2 read the "Fly Lady," email prompts, U have way too much time on your hands and should not B sitting at the computer, but B, pushing a VAC! "Shine your sink" and "Put on your shoes?!" Give me a break! I registered with her a few years ago, thinking I would get a few tips. 2 days later, I quit the site. What an inane bunch of BS. I learned everything from my mom when I was a kid and my sister and I always had duties after school. On Sat., the entire house was pulled apart. Every dresser, sofa, bed, or whatever, was pulled away from the walls and everything was either vacuumed or washed. We would not B able 2 go to the movies, if we did not comply. I think it was 30 cents 4 the movie. I'm not 80 but, 54. I have been married 4, 25 years this year and my wife had never cleaned a toilet or pushed a vacuum. She was an only child with a stay at home mom. She does not know how to do anything. My MIL, was no housekeeper and now she will B 90. I won't even go into that house and I don't think I have set foot in the place in 10 years. The place makes me cringe!!!

Seeing all of U have kids, try this. Take a micro-fiber cloth and spray it with "Scrubbing Bubbles" or some other type of cleaner. Just start upstairs and grab the hand rail with the wet cloth and hold on as U walk down the stairs. It will B black and will make U sick. 4 those of U in 1 story homes, do the same thing but, wipe your door knobs. Every 1 should wipe their door knobs. When I was much younger, I was certified for Health and Food Service Sanitation. Most people have more nasty bacteria on their door knobs and hand rails, than in the inside of their toilets. Kids don't wash their hands and come in from shcool and grab a hand full of chips or what ever. Just think about that when none of the kids at school wash their hands and keep doing the math! YUK! Throw out all of those half opened bags that have been dipped into. When U see what comes off the door knobs, U will.

I sure am glad I'm not married to eteinne! I'm sure he's a very nice person, but our concepts about what really matters in life are totally different. My mother was a pediatrician and, yes, we had a maid to clean the house while Mother was caring for sick babies. I have never been a great housekeeper, but we managed to stay healthy and happy. If the children or the DH were ever embarrassed by the condition of the house it certainly didn't keep them from having friends over all the time. If you read the current medical studies you'll learn that children raised in sterile homes do not develop strong immune systems and are sick more often and get sicker than those who are exposed to a "normal" amount of germs all their lives. Here come the grandchildren! must run. ;-)

Me too, catbird!

Etienne, that was really judgemental. She asked for advice on how to cope, as a mother of a very young child and an infant and while being a full time student. Have you ever done that?

Mystique, I'll add to my previous post. Try to clean as you go. It seems you don't have a dishwasher, so keep a dishpan of hot soapy water. Put the dishes in immediately. Wash some, let them air dry.

Dishes and kitchen floors are more important than the dusting and putting away of clean clothes.

wow, if you have time to wipe down the door nobs then some one has too much time on his hands, good luck in getting my 3 year old to pull a dresser out and clean behind it! before i became a spoiled house wife with a cleaner i used to pick and room a day to tackle. so mondays it might be the living room, and that means dusting, floors, vacumming the furniture, teusdays bathroom floors toilet etc, you get the idea. i found this to be fairly doable. and it didnt seem to over whelming, the only other habit that i forced myself into that i still do is making the beds every morning and then febreezing the bedrooms, and making sure all the dishes are done before i go to bed so i dont have to deal with it in the morning. Etienne if your bored you can come over and clean my bannisters for me!

Hi,

I'm sorry if I, came off as, a jerk. I'm not. First off, we have no kids, as we, were not blessed with them, try as we might. It will B, 25 years, the coming 9/11 and we, R way 2 old at this point.

I don't know what I was thinking about dishes, clothes washing, dust balls, etc. The thing is, is that if U were doing this 30 2 40 years ago, your lives would B much harder. Just think, there were no Pampers, wipes, in-ear thermometers,,microwaves, AC, Color TV, Cable shows just 4 kids, VCRS, DVD players, Baby Eienstien, or what ever?!!! And U can't cope?! Read this through as I, will give a link that will help and will give U, a few tips, also.

My mom, only had the 2 of us. My sister is 13 months younger than me. She, keeps a great house, in spite of being a pig, while we were growing up! LOL

I do remember my mom, putting us in the play pen as she waxed the floor an Sat. afternoon. U had 2 do that in the day. All of U who have Hardwood, U , R asking as to how to clean it? Poly is, Plastic! I grew up with real hardwod, and have carpeted it over in every house I have purchased. Y would U want it?! Back in the days when U did not clean it with a Swifter Wet Jet or what ever they R using today, U would have to get on your hands and knees and clean the floor with this nasty, smelling cleaner and then apply a paste wax and then, hand and or machine buff it. This took a week if your home was large and then U would repeat this in 6 months. By the time everyone could walk on it U would have 2 repeat the process. My entire family did this. There were only 2 of us but, my aunts on both sides of the family had 5,6,or 7 kids. 1 had 12 with 2 sets of twins. Her house was realy clean and this was in the day of cloth diapers, no wipes, no air, or, anything else. She did a great job!!! She also had no $$ or education and worked nights in some factory, 2 supplement her, drunken husband's income. What can I say?!

Seeing as U, R all of the child bearing years, do U, remeber when McDonalds, did not have a drive through window? I do. U had to wrap up the kids and take them inside. That was work. At home, on the phone, U would be tied to the phone with a cord and kept your conversations short as U had work 2 do. I bet U all grew up with cordless, I don't even talk about cell. I just had 2 get a new 1 and have yet to figure out how 2 turn it on.. I have had 6 and used each 1, 3 times over the years. I could care less. With the "Market Day Mother's," this is their life line.

Now, on to the cleaning. Type in www.cleanreport.com He has great books and his video, "Is there life after house work," is, a hoot!!!

Now as 2 tips. If U live in a 2 story home, have a basket at the bottom and the top of the stairs. Don't ever let it B empty and carry it always when U R going between floors. This saves a lot of wasted steps. If U use Corning Ware or Pyrex, just spray it with " Easy Off" and just wash it B 4 U go to bed. If U dont' use some type of scrubbing pad on it, it will not stick.. I have a cleaning service, so I know all of the tricks.

Eteinne

well how nice to have a cleaning service and no kids!! etienne, you are still coming off as a bit of a jerk even in this second post. until you have lived a week in our shoes you have no right to be nasty about some of the conviniences that we take advantage of.

Dally,

I think he meant he owns a cleaning service.

I agree, though, he still sounds like a bit of a jerk. He cannot know what it is like to have two tiny children and all the care they take.

Hi

I called my mother, my Aunt, with the 12 kids, and 1 with 6, and asked, how they managed? They all told me the same thing. My grandmother did the same thing. Get up at 4 if the rest of the house doesn't come alive until 6:30. All 3, told me what they could accomplish in those 2 1/2 hours, what it would take them 2 accomplish in 8 hours, once the, kids were up an running. If their day, fell apart, at least something was accomplished and they were not going crazy, trying to get something done.

As far as dealing with small children goes, I was a "Nanny" of sorts when I was a Junior in High Shcool and all through college. Ages, 2,3,5,7,& 9. Do I qualify?! I changed diapers, toilet trained the 2 youngest, and weened the 2 year old, off the bottle.. I lived with them all summer. They traveled 4 their jobs at the time. I did this with this family for, 4 years and then they moved. I had a waiting list and another family took it's place. Don't worry, their grandmother lived 2 minutes away, in the event there was an emergency of any type. The only disater I had, was that, I was making dinner and sent the 3 older ones outside 2 play on the swing set. The 2 younger 1's were taking a nap. I ran to the basement 2 transfer the clothes to the dryer. When I came back to the kitchen they were no where 2 B seen. I went out back and could have died! The parents had a load of top soil delivered and the kids thought it would B great fun to take the garden hose, on the needle spray and spray the top of the pile of top soil. The windows were opened, no AC, and it was blown through the screens in the LR and all over her new drapes! They ran and I chased them. They went through the front door and tracked mud all over the new, "Coin Gold" shag! I thought I would die!!! I thought that they would fire me in a heart beat. The mother just told me, "Stuff happens." I was mortified as I thought, I had failed. They were really nice people. She passed away 10 years ago and I went 2 the wake. The 2 year old was there, now married, with a, child, of his own. I met his wife and the first thing out of her mouth was "The only thing they ever fight about is, that she, can't do hospital corners when she, makes the bed." I taught him. He also makes better cookies and she does not like that either. I told her that if that is your only problem, you will, get over it.

# 1 do check out he cleanreport as his books R great. The 1 about how 2 make your house clean itself, stinks, unless U R building from the foundation up. I did everthing wrong.

The following R a few things I leanred from my family.

Have some sort of plan.

Write it down and finnish what U start.

B realistic about what U can accomplish or U will think that U have failed.

Organize and declutter the house.

Organize your cleaning supplies. Get 1 of those cleaning totes and have 1 for the bathroom and another 1 which U can tote through the house and do the dusting. Polish, Windex, Micro-Fiber cloths, those tri-colored, cob-web wackers, or whatever U need to get the job done. U just need to have it all in 1 place.

Put together a carpet stain removal kit. Go online and read their carpet stain removal guide and print it off. Put in the box or basket U have the spot removers in. That way U won't panic and use the wrong thing and set the stain. The quicker U remove it the better chance that is will no B a permanent stain. If U have one of those steam cleaners, put water in it, before a party. I add ice cubes to the water and when something is spilled, the party stops, as well as the heart of the 1 who dumped their coffee or Red wine. Once they see that U are able to get it out the party continues. Just suck up the spill and keep rinsing it with the ice water and they will feel better. No harm. My holiday parties last 10 to 12 hours so, there is something bound to happen. Always B prepared, it is a lot less stress on the hostess. My carpet is white. What would you expect?! LOL The only reason I use white, is thatI, can remove any stain. I had blue and when I tried to remove the stain, it turned yellow. When I had red, it was orange. U can't realy remove anything and use what U need 2 unless it, is white. I think this color is "Bridal Satin." It's white. U do have to clean it every 3 months but I don't have to replace it trying to remove a stain. I ask no 1, to take their shoes. They all do as they all have white carpet.

Buy, a really good vac that matches your home. If U have all, hard surface, go to, a local vac shop, and purchase, a canister. The $$ spent, U, get good vac, that will work 4, 20 years, or more. The vacs I use R $2300, and U can buy them, off E-Bay. $300 or $400. I did buy 1, at full price, years ago. U can't kill them and they can B rebuilt. They gave them away on "Queen 4 a Day," when I was 6. It is a great vac!

I use a vac every day, and have, a self-propelled "Kirby" on every level. I have a central vac to do all of the detail cleaning on the weekend. Buy the best U can and your life will B a lot easier. Just B certain that it matches your house.

Just throw a load of wash in before U go to bed. Do what ever U do in the morning and throw it in the dryer and throw in the next. While U, R folding, let them scream and yell. U would B able 2 tell, if there was, a serious problem. A mother knows. Just get the 1 thing U wanted to accomplish, and your entire day will B better. That is 1 thing off your list and once U cross it off, U won't feel, as though U, have wasted your entire day. Just think that U, R moving onward and upward. Is there something, U really like? Chocolate, wine, a coffee? Take the time 2 pamper yourself, as this,
will make the rest of the day go easier. Always, give your self, a treat 4 a job, well done.

Eteinne

PS: I do own a cleaning service. I have been cleaning since I was 9, 4 my third grade teacher. That was a strange thing as to how that came about. I did that until I went off to college. She was at my wedding. She was so kind and giving. If there were teachers, such as she, the world would B a better place.

Go to Home Depot and buy 3 or 4 bunches of terry cloth towles.

there you go some good ideas. i found that if you have any old home made bibs the kind made with nice thick cotton make great rags for cleaning when your done using them as bibs. i have a 2 story house so i have 2 sets of cleaning stuff one up and one down that way i dont have to go down stairs to get windex and bath room cleaner as this just winds up gettin you distracted. and keep your cleaning supplies simple, find a good all purpose cleaner and some windex and rags. i oil the furniture, so i only have about 4 different types of cleaner that i use, keeps it simple.and laundry argg one of those things that once the kids come never really get caught up. GOOD LUCK!!

I have a cleaning kit in every bath, in the vanity. When U have kids crawling around and they could ingest this stuff, due to the fact I had never given that any consideration. It is better 2 B safe than a child in the hospital, fighting 4 their lives. I cringe 2 think about that. Just make a cleanig kit, which U can grab and go. The kids will B safe and the house will B clean. Just put it somewhere where they R unable to reach it. I have helped new mothers, "Child-Proof their, homes. I bring all of the cleaning stuff in and out. I don't think they even have Windex. There is a lot of great stuff out there! I never had them as they did not exist when I was young. It really would take a lot of stress of new parents.

I can't make heads or tails out of eteinne's posts. Nor do I think I want to.

We all find our own ways through trial and error. The fact that you want to be more organized shows you care and want to move forward.

Having children sent me over the edge. I was not prepared for the amount of time, work and effort these little ones required, nor was I prepared for the huge amount of love and fun these buggars offered, nor was I prepared for selfishly wanting one minute for myself! I don't think anyone is. I remember asking a friend,"How do you do it?" Amazingly she had a PLAN.

She split her duties into a 5 day schedule, along with things that had to be done every day and she gave herself two free days -so she had flexibility to catch up if she missed a day.

That was the day a light went on for me. I was letting my days manage me, running from one mess to the next,always one step behind! It never occurred to me to proactively stay ahead of the mess with a schedule-DUH!

Laundry, dishes, and clutter has to be dealt with DAILY. There is no way around it,there is TOO much of it to postphone or it will take over. Throw a load of laundry in when you walk in the door, and throw another load in before you go to bed, and NEVER EVER put it the basket without folding it-EVER! It's a hard habit to learn but it will save you from piles and piles of laundry that you can't remember if it is clean or dirty!

Every day I walk through my house,(when I get home before I start dinner) and throw away junk and put away clutter. Wrappers, magazines, holey socks, broken toys, old toys, junk mail, etc. I don't even hesitate anymore, if it is junk it's gone.

After dinner dishes are done,and I wipe down my counters,and my stove and I sweep, throw in another load of laundry for the night and turn off the light, I'm done with laundry and dishes for the day.

The advice you've been given is good regarding, bathrooms,dusting,etc. Do it as you see it. Life with kids is fast, you may not get 30 minutes all at once this week to spend cleaning the bathroom, unless you DO want to get up early before your family does and clean.( I have a friend who does this and loves it)

Set your own priorities and build from there. I also send my kids off after supper and let my husband be with them alone. I get quiet time(albeit cleaning) and he gets quality time!

If you throw your laundry in the washer and wash them, by morning they will smell awful and you'll have to rewash them.

I live in the Northeast and only have that problem in the summer, BUT since I've been adding a 1/4 cup of frebreze to my wash I don't have it at all! But to clarify, I do put them in dryer before I get ready for work.

First of all, I think etienne has way too much time on his hands, and he should take his own advise and step away from the computer. Vacuuming every day? Please! I am his age, and believe me, my mother taught me precious little about housekeeping. I learned by trial and error, lots of errors!

But my kids came from a loving home, where they pitched in where and when they could. DH went to work looking great, and loved coming home to the chaos! We worked as a team. But when the kids were little, it was a task to keep them cleaned and fed. A dear friend once said to me, "When they grow up, what are they going to remember? The clean floors or the fact that they had fun?" Mine will remember the fun, for sure!

Instead of trying to be perfect and always feeling inadequate, enjoy your family and just take care of the most pressing needs. No one is going to sneak in and vacuum for you, so relax. It'll be there when you are ready.

BTW- I think flylady is for the birds. I, too, withdrew 2 days after joining. I mean, how many e-mails about cleaning can you take without wanting to scream! ENOUGH!

Children grow up way too fast, believe me. And when they're grown and have moved out, you can hire someone to clean for you! ;)

-Donna

Graywings,

I would love 2 know what U. don't understand?! Is English your, first language? Where did U get that name? I would just color it, if it, were gray. I, do a mean "Hadassah" flip! Think "Dear Abby!" LOL That has always been a "Power" look! U would B able to poke an attacker's eye out with, enough spray! LOL

I, have not been on here, as I, had 2 suprise couples, as house guests. 1, couple, last Friday and 1, last Sat. They both left, this morning.

Just how, prepared? R, U?! I have the 2 bedrooms and bath rooms, flawless. I change the sheets evey 2 weeks, in the event, I would, have a surprise. All of the towles R placed in "Rubber Maid," containers, with a scented T-Lite" Everything, should, B fresh. All I have 2 do is spray linen spray on the sheets and hang the towles. I do iron all of the sheets, 4 the 2 of us, or the guest rooms. I was doing "Martha," when she, was doing the "K-Mart," table thing.

This is the reason I can't figure U can't do the normal day 2 day?!

Eteinne

Whatever!! I agree with graywings! Anyway, back to the topic. I also do a lot of the tips listed on here. I especially have learned what one person wrote about 'just do something' When it is so overwhelming, you don't realize that clearing off one cluttered coffee table will matter, or doing just one load of laundry will even make a dent in it. But I promise it does. Like Dori says "Just keep swimmin', Just keep swimmin', Just keep swimmin'" Soon all your kids will all be in school all day like mine and you will look around your tidy home and think. Wow, I may actually have time to learn how to do those things that I've only heard tell about. Like cleaning the blinds or the baseboards. :-) GRIN

One more tip, I do have a basket for each child with their name on it that sits on a shelf on my main floor. Whenever I find something of one of the kids lying around while they are at school, I pick it up and toss it in their basket. I rarely walk through a room empty handed. I am always putting something away. Also I do the one or two loads of laundry each morning to save myself from being overtaken by the monster laundry mountain and then always make sure I have them folded and put into the corresponding child's basket. Then when they walk in the door from school, the first thing they do is hang up their backpacks, put their shoes away and empty their baskets (by putting the items away not just dumping it out on the floor. This takes close supervision at the beginning) and they have to bring the empty basket back so I have a place to put their clutter and clothes the next day. Then we can sit down and have our after-school snack and talk about their day together before we start on homework. They also each of an additional daily cleaning chore on top of keeping their bedrooms clean and baskets empty.

Start with one new thing or habit until you get that down and then add another habit and practice those two until they become second nature. Then add another habit and pretty soon you will be doing routines without even realizing it. Flylady can give you some ideas but don't expect everything to work for you. Good luck and believe me, You are not alone!!!!

partyofsix~ I really like that basket idea. I don't have kids yet, but will one of these days & I'm going to remember that one. How old were your kids when you started this?

eteinne~ I'm not sure who or what you are, but what is the deal with how you type? Do you talk like that? All the commas in the wrong place & U's & #'s, you're an odd duck, that's for sure.

Also, you sound to me like you're trying to come across as something you're not. I'm picturing your house as a pig sty, yet, you want ppl to think you live like a king or something. You are being kind of rude too, I don't even have kids, as mentioned above, but I do know how much of a handful they are... I do have 17 neices & nephews, so there's a little bit of experience here. Like some one said before, maybe you should practice what you preach & go vacuum or clean the banister or something!

I'm nobody to tell someone how to do things right, since right for me ain't right for you. I tried FlyLady and tired of the emails too. HOWEVER, reading through the website and some of the stuff, especially the "missions" and such, I found the "shiny sink" thing works for me. Can't tell you why, but it does make me feel better. The rest of my kitchen might be a mess but my sink looks far better than it did and that by itself is an improvement. The Zone thing isn't the best for me. But making a list and doing it from that does work for me. 15 minutes work is an improvement. PERIOD! You might not see it right away but 15 min done four times equals an hour of work and that usually will show something if you've concentrated it. Otherwise, maybe that hour got the bathroom cleaned (ok, lightly, but still cleaned), dishes washed, a load of laundry folded from the dryer and another load put in... you get the idea. So read it through and pick out what works for you, adapt it to your style and see if you can't find something to help. I'm sure most everyone can find something in there that helps them.

Taking a short break to gather your thoughts and recharge your batteries is imperitive. Reward yourself. However is right for you.

And yes, I agree about people who think a forum is an instant messenger or a text message. It's clumsy and not as efficient as they think. Typing "B" takes just as many keystrokes as typing "be"! Yes, it's much harder to read. I'm guilty of abbreviating too much too often but when I read the ones who go so far overboard, it slaps me back to reality. No offense, but please save it for the phone. I think you have some valuable info to share, but when you can't speak the language of the tribe so to speak, you won't get your point across.

One thing that brought a smile to my face while I was deciphering the hieroglyphics, I remembered a few weeks back when my basement railing was very sticky. The humidity was up and I knew the railing was dirty. I took an orange wipe disposeable and started wiping it down and oh yes, it was black! After a few it made an improvement. Now I left a container sitting there and occasionally I'll wipe it down and take a little more. Sort of an adapted FlyLady philosophy: Keep going and catch up as you go. A little bit at a time... a little bit at a time.

Oh, a little computer reminder program works well for me too, to remind me of easily forgotten recurring chores, spring/fall special chores, etc. Especially paying bills and the like, which I do online now to save time and money.

I pat myself on the back for some successes: I keep caught up on laundry now. And I keep caught up on dishes. I also keep the living room presentable. That's three major accomplishments here. And now I can add a little at a time. I'm much better on dusting (thank you Swiffer dusters!) and on dusting the wood steps. They're almost to the point of being chalked up to major accomplishments. Let's see, the WetJet has made a big improvement on the bathroom floor and I've made great strides in the bathroom as a whole.

Take a minute occasionally to reflect on accomplishments, take pride in them. It's a motivation for me. Along with these forums! So there's a little dirt and yes some germs around. Keeps me healthy and gives me a goal. You don't want to get too carried away. There's a thread in the laundry forum about the bacteria and the like transferred to clean laundry after handling dirty laundry! SHEESH! Let's not go overboard. My home is far from spotless, yet I don't get sick anywhere near as often as so many others who are nearly sterilized in their surroundings. I guess if I can keep it reasonably sanitary, I'll have to be happy.

BTW (can't give up all the shorthand cold turkey!) these improvements had a big setback 4 or 5 years ago when I fell and broke both shoulders, an arm, a couple ribs and screwed up my back. A little at a time and learn to adapt!

When we had three kids under four and I was writing my masters thesis, I would make myself do 5 things in a room: put 4 things away, dust, . . . . That usually didn't take but a few minutes, but it made a difference and got me started. Often I'd find myself doing more. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. ;-)

Mystique, full time student and mom of two little ones is gracious plenty for any one woman to do without help. Enjoy your babies, they grow up way too fast. And don't neglect your education - it will help you tremendously. Just lower your expectations about cleaning the house and do what you can.

I read part of the post about how things were much harder 30 to 40 years ago. Possibly for some people that was true. However, my perspective is a little different. So much is required of mothers now that wasn't required of my mom 40 years ago. My mom never drove me all around town for sports, piano lessons, study groups, etc - I rode my bike everywhere or played in the yard. My mom didn't have teacher conferences and PTA meetings. Nobody's mom volunteered at the school helping in the media center or tutoring kids on their math facts in my schools when I was a girl. My mom never had to set up a wireless network or go to 7 different stores looking for the teacher-specified and required candy to make a model spider out of candy. My mom was a wonderful mother, and typical of the moms I knew as a girl. They were awesome women. But instead of spending all afternoon at the ball field they spent the afternoon cleaning or cooking.

We live in suburban Atlanta, and I never let my kids ride their bikes to school or to sports activities. They'd be a bloody heap by the side of the very dangerous road. Most kids were in organized sports, so it became very difficult for my kids to play pickup ball in someone's yard. So I drove my kids to organized sports, too.

50 years ago, 100 years go, or now - we all just have 24 hours in a day. Mystique you know in your heart you just can't do it all. Focus on what's important to you.

I have two small kids and all the same problems. I try to do my best, because that is all I can do. So what if my sheets have never been ironed? At least my kids and I have FUN everyday. Maybe if I didn't have kids, I would have time for that kind of stuff, and Etienne did have few good tips, but if you ask me, life is too short for that kind of stuff!

I manage by focusing on one thing at a time. Multitasking, as I'm reading some new research on it just coming out now, results in an inferior performance. Single-tasking allows you to focus fully. The result is better. And I think people are more calm and happier.

So, when I was into a career, that was what I focused on and it was satisfying. When I was in school, I loved it and was fully a part of it. Since I married, I have been focused on home and hearth. This is the only reasonable way I have found to live. DH enjoys his work and works fulltime, but he is only able to put full focus on that because he has a built-in support system: me.

Might you rethink going to school right now? School will be there later but your children will have only one childhood. If you enjoy children, you might be happier spending your time with them now. If you don't, then why not bring in an au pair to be available to them fulltime and you continue with school? I've known people who were quite happy with that arrangement.

We all think we can do everything at once, hurry, rush, zoom around. It is an unreasonable expectation.

I remind them on a daily basis that housework is EVERYBODY'S concern. Everybody has their chores and we have to work together as a team. Raise the kids to help and limit their toys to a few out at a time, make them put them away before getting out more. Your husband can help, and he should. If it really becomes a lot of pressure, call in some help once in a while, you don't have to shoulder the whole burden. Beaver Cleaver's mom has retired, ya know.

My mother once told me that the best parent in the world is someone who hasn't been one. I think that advice may fit Etienne. Until he walks in the shoes of a parent, it may be wise to keep his advice to himself. It is MUCH different being a full time parent than being a 'nanny'. Nannies aren't worrying how the bills are getting paid, how the marriage is going, etc. The nanny gets to go home at the end of the day where a parent is a 24 hour job.

That being said...

I am a mom of 4 ranging from 22 to 7. I do full time day care in my home plus I am finishing up my BA degree (online). I remember when McD's didn't even have a place to sit down inside. You had to eat on tables outside :).

My kids help around the house and have from the time they have been little. Even the smallest toddler can empty bathroom wastecans. When they get out of bed in the morning, they pull their sheets and covers up- who cares if the bed isn't really 'made'. I learned a long time ago that if I spent the time making sure a bed was made in the morning, it would be unmade by afternoon due to a wild game of hide-n-seek. All toys are put away when they are done playing with them... or mom and dad put them away and they DON'T want that to happen because it takes too long to get them back. Just ask my 15 yr old son about his iPod :) The poor child has had it 'put away' by mom more than he has had it. Even a very young child can figure that out.

I do vacuum daily (we have a Bernese Mountain Dog). I also use a vacuum on my kitchen floor and hardwood floors. I found it was much quicker and did a better job than sweeping. I do have the luxury of a dishwasher so dishes go straight into the dishwasher as they come off the table. After the dishwasher is run, the kids put the dishes away. Starting about 3 yrs old, they are capable of at least putting the silverware away. Most of the time it is unloaded as the table is being set for the next meal.

Most other jobs are done as needed. The last one to shower for the day wipes down the sink. I clean the toilet and floor weekly-- sometimes on Monday, sometimes on Wed, just whenever I get a chance. I don't have a set schedule. When I tried to set a certain day of the week to do certain things, I just ended up getting frustrated. If it was bathroom mopping day and I thought it would be more fun to go the the park, that is what we would do-- but then I would feel guilty that I had missed bathroom mopping day.

A big help on dusting around the house has been to change the furnace/AC filter more often than recommended. I can always tell if it has been longer than about 30 days because the furniture is getting dustier faster.

I am very lucky that my husband does just as much around the house as I do (he was one of 8 kids and learned young that it took everyone to keep things done too). I am not afraid to ask him to mop the dining room as I cook supper.

The biggest thing is to NOT get overwhelmed. So what if there is dust on the coffee table (just remember that if they are old enough to write their name in the dust, they are old enough to dust it themself LOL). Your kids are only young once and enjoy them while you can!! There will be plenty of time to have germ-free doorknobs after they are grown and gone!