I lost my mother 11 years ago....not to cancer, but to a heart anuerism. I know everyone says that we are supposed to live life in their honor and make them proud, and thats what they would have wanted...but sadly, my heart still hurts. My body still goes numb time to time, and the memories of her make me cry everytime. Not a day goes by that I do not think about her, or wish I could see her and touch her one last time. I was waiting for the school bus. I was 14 years old and said that I would see her when I came home that day. She went to work, and sadly, the next time I saw her was in a casket. She was my everything, and now she is my angel. People say the pain eases with time, but I feel like the more time goes by, the more I miss her. The memories of her get weaker and weaker, which in turn makes me sadder and sadder. I am 26 years old, and sometimes I wish I could come home and hear my mother tell me everything is going to be ok. I try to talk to her, but i have yet to hear a reply. Life right now, for me, is a struggle. I cant get a teaching job and I feel like all of my hard work was a waste. I wonder if she would be proud, proud of her daughter who is a waitress. I dont know how to be happy anymore. I am trying to stay strong, but its difficult. As for money, well, maybe save it for your children so they can go to school. She left it to you to use for things that you will need in life. You are lucky, not because of money, but because your mom loved you enough to make sure even though she isnt here, she is still able to take care of you. She loved you more than you or I will ever know, as my mother did me. Life isnt easy, and she always told me that. Stress is what killed her, and I feel like if things dont change I may end up the same. I want a family, and children, and most of all happiness. Thats all any parent wants for their babies. No matter what age you are, no matter how or why they die, they just want to see us happy. She is always with you in your heart, you know...and she is in every breeze that blows by. Just close your eyes and when you feel like you cant take it anymore, just remember that its ok to be upset, its ok to cry, and its ok to feel like you want to scream and tear your house apart...it doesnt matter what coulve been, how often you saw or didnt see her...she loved u just the same and she always knew you loved her too...I know how you feel. Our mothers are our angels now...

It has been six weeks since my Dad passed away. I think about Him every day. I don't think that will ever change. I can't imagine a world without Him in it. I live in the same town that I grew up in and pass the places where He took us sleigh riding when I was kid and my kids, too. Our church and school. The home He lived in when he passed and I grew up in. I am reminded of Him everywhere. I Love Him dearly and I hope He knows that in Heaven. All of our hearts are aching. It will take time to learn to live without those we miss and love. I will always Love my Daddy. I am glad that I had Him for my father. The best thing I can think of doing is to be the kind of person he was. He set a wonderful example for me. Whether here or in Heaven, it would hurt me to do anything that I know is not right because I had such a nice and good Daddy and am thankful for his example. All the wonderful things our loved one did for us and their sacrifices live on inside of us. They taught us how to Love by Loving us. The best tribute we can give them is to keep on with our lives by passing all these wonderful gifts to our children, families and friends. Keep them alive by talking about them and not forgetting the stories they told us about their lives. My Dad told me so many stories from when he was a kid and about his Mom who I never met. I felt like I knew these people. I smile when I think about it because he was such a great story teller and such a fun person! I will continue to keep His memories alive and pass his words down to my children. My daughter even took him to school when she was in Junior High. Sort of like "show and tell" and her classmates got to hear his first hand account of his time spent as a soldier during WWII. My son interviewed him and wrote about his life story for a journalism class in College. The Professor loved it . What a great Dad I had. We will miss Them for sure. I wish we could all give each other a big big Hug. It really really hurts. What a hole we have in our Hearts. I feel for all of you. "They" say that this is just another part of life and to move on with your life. Much easier said than done when it happens to you. We will always grieve for these missing loved ones. Nothing can change the pain that goes along with it. Until we meet them again, we will feel their loss in our lives. Peace to all of you who are feeling sad. We are holding each other's hands here. We all know how it hurts....

My grandmother just died on this past Friday. I cannot even BEGIN to express how much I love that woman and how much she meant to me and how close to her I was... there just are no words. She was already going downhill on my birthday, this past wednesday, and frankly it was a totally miserable day for me. People kept saying "happy birthday" and I wanted to scream "I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN, ARE YOU CRAZY?" It doesn't matter that she died two days later, I will always remember this birthday as the time my beloved grandmother died and the single most painful time in my entire life so far. I guess I'm trying to say, it doesn't matter. In the jewish religion there is no choice in burial dates, it has to be done 24 hours after the death unless it falls on a holiday or shabbat so the funeral and burial was today. No it was not on my birthday, but my birthday will be forever tinged with sadness because I think that's the day I knew in my gut grandma would not be coming home. I know if grandma could have done it any other way she would have, but she had no choice in the matter. I'm sure if your mother could have had it another way too. I probably won't get around to celebrating my birthday this year and who knows if I will ever feel like it again. All I know is that sometimes you have to put aside what you want and do the right thing... that's one of the lessons my grandma taught me.

I lost my Mom suddenly 6 weeks ago due to health issues, so I understand part of what you're feeling. It's hard dealing with unexpected deaths or tragic accidents. From what I've learned in the grief group I attend, you have to let yourself feel the pain or it will come back later in a worse way. So I kind of think it's too soon for you to go back to your normal routine, although I would never give anyone advice since this is all so very individual. This sentence you wrote struck me...."She was dealt a really bad hand in life and coped the best she could, she was the best Mom she could possibly be giving the pain she was exposed to and the subsequent decisions she made to deal with that pain."......I think it's very healthy that you acknowledge the cards your Mom was dealt and give her credit for coping the best she could, yet you also know that she made decisions in the way she coped too. This is a healthy way to look at it. It sounds like you were very close and I know how hard it is to lose a Mom you are close to. I hope you can find some joy and strength with your husband and kids.