You have a challenge for sure and yes some things need to be done. But a little dust in the home isn't something I'd jump up and down about when he's out driving. Establish your priorities. First things first. Laws of course vary from state to state so you need to do some research. Here in MN, a guardianship is not an easy thing to get. A Conservatorship is far easier and gives most of the power that would be needed here from your description so far. It would enable you to help with finances, etc. I'm not sure what your "draft" system is, I'm assuming it's some sort of an automatic bill payment. That can be OK if someone is monitoring it. He's still going to be susceptible to the phone scams, disreputable family members, neighbors, and others who prey on this type. Driving. You should get a statement from the doctor on his ability to drive. Put it in the doctor's lap if possible. I don't know his driving habits or anything but hitting a kid or getting lost are real possibilities. Even contacting the DMV seems extreme but a lot of people simply shouldn't be on the road and they can help evaluate. My dad went through it as did a good friend. Another friend was forced into it when his mother took his (these days you have to say) "challenged" daughter and disappeared. They were going to the store and she got lost. We had everyone we knew out searching for them, police and highway patrol were alerted. This was before cell phones were so cheap that everyone had them so there was an extra challenge there too. They were found, pulled over on a freeway ramp. That was enough to get him to pull the keys and take away the car. My dad was the same way, attitude-wise. Nobody's gonna tell HIM what to do! You need to approach it like handling a kid at times to avoid tantrums. One way that helps is to make them think it's their idea. "You wanted me to remind you to make the appointment" or "That was a good idea to get that checked out, you should do that right now. We'll go do it and stop for lunch afterward" or whatever works with him. My sister and I would go over and do some cleaning while he was gone. A lot of times he wouldn't notice it, which was all the better. I'd stop and mow while he was sleeping or gone. At first it really angered him but then it wasn't too bad. He started getting used to it. Otherwise, the suggestion to go in a group, even 2 or 3 is good, and 1 or 2 keep him occupied while other(s) tend to some things and rotate out. The biggest thing is to get it started and go. It has to be done and putting it off isn't going to make it better or easier for anyone. The optimist in me wants to point out this can even be a positive experience. Spending time with them while you can is enjoyable for both. Take a recorder and get him to tell stories, family history and the like. It also exercises their minds a bit. The recordings later will likely be treasured. Assisted living is nice, but around here, I doubt he'd be allowed into assisted living. Much depends on the local definition. Here, you have to be able to care for yourself for the most part. If his mind is going, he's going to be sent to a nursing home around here. Assisted living is exactly that, an assist. They'll give you the option to eat in the dining room, the option to have someone do light cleaning, the option to have someone wash clothes, etc. If he needs physical therapy or something, that is not part of assisted living. If you cause any trouble for any other residents, you're out. They do not have people who check on you daily, care for you, etc. It's an apartment with amenities for people who are having trouble, but it's NOT a nursing home and they're not about to become one. Went through that with my one aunt. They were patient with her and she became good friends with the administrator so they let her stay there longer than most but she was bumped to the nursing area when she was having troubles. An old GF's uncle was in a fabulous one in Eau Claire. I'd love to move into that place! Price was very reasonable there too. But there too, it's assisted living, not for someone who needs advanced care. So do some research on that before assuming things. Good luck.

Mary RP is 'Received Pronunciation' considered the accentless 'standard' form of English. See the description below. I can well understand that local accents can be difficult to follow. Geordie is from the North East up to the borders of Scotland, and 'Scouse' is the nasal whine of Liverpool, but not heard outside that city where the local population speak with a Lancashire or Cheshire accent. The old 'plummy' cut-glass way of speaking is fast dying out, as was mentioned on the off-shoot of this thread, even the Queen's way of speaking has become greatly modified and easier on the ear. Do you notice if you hear old recordings of US speech that women's voices have developed a lower pitch . .. as they have over here? Mrs Thatcher is an eg. She obviously had elocution lessons when she went into politics which, although making her sound unnatural at least put her voice down half an octave! And yes, we do swallow our words and most of us speak much quicker than you do in the US, although 'country' speech is slower. Re Aussie 'fair dinkum' I think it means 'genuine/real Here is a link that might be useful: RP English

Tibbix, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing. I hope your many wonderful memories help to provide some comfort during this very sad time. Please allow others to help support you through your grief it is very import to take care of yourself while grieving and now is the time for you to lean on your friends and family. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Awww bpathome - I'm so sorry you are in the thick of this. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. Now that it is all over, hindsight being 20/20, the single dumbest thing I did was wait so long to move him into assisted living. I don't think I've ever heard of someone saying, YAY, move me out of my home and into a new place, you know? Lord it's a brutal thought for me - I can only imagine what it feels like for a senior citizen who feels their health and/or their mind slipping away from them. Home is just that - it's HOME! It's where most of us want to be when we don't feel well. So I "get" and agree with empowering people to stay in their home for as long as is safe. Of course, the problem is "safe" can be a subjective thing, isn't it. My dad was no longer safe to drive (and I had to fight to get the keys away from him, that was just horrific - but he was causing accidents and his car looked like it had been in a demolition derby), so he was becoming increasingly isolated in his own home. No one ever visits. So it was just me (I'm an only child) and the care givers. He built the home he lived in too, and he wanted to die there. And I went into his declining years determined to let him live out his life in the way of his choosing. And then Alzheimer's happened. Long sad story, and it plays out all over the world every day. In the end, the time had come that keeping him at home unsupervised was no longer an option. He became a danger to himself (did crazy things as his mind deteriorated), and 24 hour care is so expensive he would have run out of money before he passed away. So I forced the issue, relatively against his will, when he ended up in the hospital for what felt like the 50th time. We told him he needed to go for "rehab" before he could go home. I met him at the facility when the van pulled up, and seeing my dad in a wheelchair headed into his new home remains one of the saddest memories of my adult life. I felt like I was failing him. :( But you know what? I wasn't. He lived there for about a year before he passed away. The longer he was there, the happier he became. He made friends. He hadn't had friends in ages! They did a happy hour every night, and in his younger years he loved going to meet up with his friends at the local bar so that happy hour became his favorite part of the day. He had a glass of beer and chit-chatted with his new friends. As his memory continued to go, they were always there and they did everything they could to keep him safe. I am 100% convinced had he not gone into assisted living, he would have kept falling at home and eventually broken a hip/something, and then ended up dying in an actual nursing home. Instead he was able to stay there literally up to the end, with Hospice services coming in for the last few weeks. Anyway, I'm sorry I wrote a book. And my heart breaks for you and every other loving family member out there who is struggling with this. There are no easy answers and the costs involved are staggering. Good luck. All I know is, now that he has passed on, I am at peace. I did everything I could to support him, and I visited 6 or 7 different places until I found "the one." I made the right choice for him, and like I said, in the end, I actually just wish I'd forced the issue sooner because we lived through some hairy and scary months with him at home! Alzheimer's sucks.