This could get "sticky" the mom is mobile now but "closing the fridge door" how often would you have to be checking it. What if she starts spilling milk, are you going to have to clean up half dried messes, will they start taking you for granted & expect you to "take mom to dr." clean up after her if she gets sick, etc. Will "walking the dog" be your job for the mile walk if she can no longer do it? It's his mom but wife may want out from under it completely & you may be helping bathe ,diaper or who knows, also looking for her if she gets lost, any fences, can she just take off & your job to "find her". Probably better write list of things that may come up & how it will affect you if he doesn't think you are "doing enough" or she thinks you "should do more"(probably for same pay) a lot would depend on how compatible you are with the couple, is their marriage stable(don't want to get in middle of fighting couple)or have to take sides. If she is good friend will that last if you try it & quit or will she hold it against you as she will have more work to do. Lots to think about. More than likely mom is going to resent you for awhile, maybe daily, elders don't like to think they are failing. I know from friends & 90 yr old mom. 1 friend's parents got help 4 hrs a day. the wife wanted her out of her house even tho hubby was getting lost etc. Dog food could be locked up & you take out just enough for that day so dog would be Ok. Fridge could be slightly higher in front so would close on its own as most have screw feet. Mine closes by it's self. Are they going to pay s.s. taxes & income taxes? What if she falls 5 minutes after you leave to go do your other duties, will you be responsible for her "laying there for 4 hrs". Lot to think about!You will definitely need 1 weekend off a month & 1 day a week,because you have the other job, you will burn out otherwise.Good Luck!

Such a nice post. As someone has already said, I'll bet there are a LOT of other good deeds you don't know about. Sorry your brother is no longer alive in body, but his spirit lives on. Some people take the Ten Commandments to heart and live them. The sweetest act of kindness is anonymous.

Patricia, My Mother died the same exact way as yours. She had been suffering with a stiff neck for a couple of weeks. On Monday (June 4, 2007) she went to the hospital to get it checked. On Wednesday (6th) we found out she had liver cancer. It had spread to her adrenial glands, lungs and into her neck. On Sunday (10th) she was gone. She too went peacefully in her sleep. I know what you went through, she went really fast. Although this is all still new to me, I too feel your pain. Grieving is not easy for me right now. I smelt saukraut (sp?) the other day and thought it was kind of funny as I was driving down the road. I close my eyes and see her smiling face but yet I can not cry. Her services are this coming week end (17th/18th) and she is being buried on my son's (her grandson's) birthday. He is taking it so hard, but there is nothing I can do. I have talked till I was blue in the face and can not gt my brother to budge. I just hope I have the strength to go through this. With God's help we wil get through this. Here is a link that might be useful: Mother's Memorial

I would say that there are about twice as many adoptees searching than birthparents. Many birthmothers feel that they have no right to search, that they gave up that right when they signed over their children. That does not mean that they don't want a reunion. Birthparents are more afraid of looking also because the adoptee might not even know they are adopted. A birthmother knows that she is a birthmother. It is far better and easier for the adoptee to search. Birthparents usually just came to our meetings just for support or in case their child was there. I also believe that unless it is an open adoption, it is best to wait until an adoptee is an adult and better equipped emotionally to do the search. Teen years are hard enough to survive. Yes, the truth is worth knowing. Honesty is important. Done correctly even though the news may be bad, it doesn't have to mean sad ramifications that can't be dealt with. LOL If I knew all you wanted was a huge inheritance, I would not help you with a reunion. We are talking emotional well-being here. When I did a search with an adoptee, we had many a talk on all of the what if's, I made sure that an adoptee had someone to go to for councilling if necessary. There was follow-up. It is your sister's right not to do a search. I respect that immensely. Just as I haven't passed on much in the way of information to my twin because she doesn't want to know. I have a scrapbook made for her about our birthparents and how I have done the search and the details. If she ever wants to see it, it is hers. I did it just in case something ever happened to me and she changed her mind. If she never wants to see it, so be it. It is her right not to know. BTW, Birthmothers are very special people. They did the best they could at the time. It isn't an easy decision to make, and for all the birthmothers out there, I give you a huge hug. It is far easier nowadays to keep children and far more accepting. Years ago, there was no support.