Oh Cassie it sounds like you are in trouble! Cichlids are potentially large fish, and they are agressive. The good news is that most fish dont grow larger than their environment will allow, although this is not always true. I recomend you try to narrow the 10 you have down to 2 or 3 especially in a 10gal tank. This type of fish is very territorial, and depending on the breed, they sometimes pair up into a mating pair and reproduce like crazy...convicts are notorious for this. I had 3 of them and they had a new fry about every 3-4 weeks. Breeding makes them even more territorial and agressive. Cichlids need a place to hide...they like lots of plants (get plastic ones...they tend to dig up and rearrange live ones) and lots of rock "caves". They will stake claim to their "territory" and defend it, especially if there are eggs or fry. I don't know about any fish-specific rescue associations, andI am from OH, so I don't know anything about LA, but I recently had to get rid of very large oscar that came with a fish tank someone gave to me. He was too big for the tank (about 8") and not compatible with the other fish that were also in this tank. There is a nationwide organization called "freecycle" where you can GIVE AWAY anything that is unwanted and now "Oscar" has a new home in a 75 gal tank where he will be much happier. The man who took him is knowledgeable about fish and aquariums and I know he will take good care of "Oscar". You can find a Freecycle in your area at www.freecycle.org. On a side note....why did your friend get you so many fish for such a small tank?? Sounds like he isnt much of a fish person and not much help in this situation. Good luck.

Seed starting soil is needed. Its also sterile and has no insects or diseases that can kill young seedlings. Suspect that they are being over watered, and lack sufficient light. If you do see yellowing leaves thats a sure sign of too wet soil. Potting soil might be fine for well established plants for outside, but you may also have very tiny fungus gnats in it that could infest every single plant indoors or out. The use of yellow sticky traps placed horizontally near the pots, as well as some careful observation is necessary. Do not use fertilizers for these young seedlings. Seed starting medium is made of things like shreaded coconut husks (coir) and a little perlite. I start seeds for many herbs and flowers indoors. Right now, I have over 150 plants growing from seeds, and have neary no losses once they are ready to be translanted outside. The fastest germination I had was with Brussels Sprout seeds. They took only two days to sprout and were over an inch tall in 3 days! Right now, all my petunias, oregano, impatiens, peppers, tomatoes, watermelon, and cantaloupe seeds are doing great under plant lights. I have the lights on a timer for about 18-20 hours per day. Plants do need a small amout of darkness time, but because plant lights are only low power substitutes for sun, they do need to be very close to the seedlings, like about 2-3 inches. My plant shelves are metal with 2'x4' shelves and use two 4 foot shop light fixtures with two lamps each fixture per shelf. They are attached with chains and are raised when the plant growth starts to touch them. In a tray of 32 pots of 2"x2" each will have single plant once they are at 2 inches tall. Natural Beginnings is a seed starting medium from Gardens Alive. Even though their prices are a bit high, I always prefer to use some of that medium with added Jiffy mix, a similar product, and any other sterile seed starting medium. These are all actually 'soilless'. Dill can reach a few feet tall and doesn't do as well indoors. The pots need drainage holes in the bottoms. All my seed staring has been very successful for well over 40 years now, and I will be picking peppers and tomatoes in early July, while everyone else still has only a few blossoms showing. I also use heat mats under my trays, and ove each with clear plastic dome lids. The lids get removed once the leaves touch them, then I also unplug the heat mats. If the mats are left on, they tend to dry the soil out very fast, so I shut them off and just grow by the room temperature after that. Before being planted outside, each tray is moved to my small glass greenhouse outside for about a week to 10 days, where the direct sun will 'harden them off'. This reduces translant stresses and gives the plants a lot of strength beforehand.

Is there any reason you can't go back to school now...the SS is in school fulltime (except summer). Why sit home in an empty house? Finish your schooling, work, get into a social setting (office, hospital, clinic) where you'll meet friends and do lunches with co-workers. Not to be mean, but Lady you worked far too long and hard to be sitting home miserable. Sign up for exercise classes if you'd like to meet people who might be walking/running buddies. Share recipes with and start feeling good about yourself. You are special, you count and you sound quite capable of being a every social good friend. Don't waste yourself staring at walls all day. You sound so very depressed. None of my business but if you are taking something for depression that can sometimes snag your sexual interest away (as can just plain a sense of low self esteem and feeling of total despair). While you've done the counseling route, have you had a good physical (blood work, checked for diabetes, blah blah)? It is possible that you are having the hard time 'loving' the SS because of the way your new marriage started out. Kinda placing the blame of your unhappiness on the child? You didn't say you dislike him or that he's a brat child or anything...that's a postive. How do the other children feel about SS and do they all get along? While you may never 'love' the child as you do your own children, I'm not so sure that is really something to feel guilty about. You're good to him, care for his needs...maybe if you get yourself up and out of the house and find some happiness and enjoyment in life you'll find the little guy is kinda likeable. You got smacked from being an active working woman with friends and comfortable surroundings to being the outcast and living in the shadow of a deceased first wife. You felt lost, alone and having serious second thoughts and on top of it all got handed an instant 'son' and told 'here, love him'. How is your anxiety levels. You mentioned several things that could point to problems there. Actually not knowing where a store is located should not be reason enough to not go...perhaps if you really wanted to go you'd figure it out fast enough. Are you using not knowing as an excuse for hiding. Again, none of my business and you certainly do not need to clarify for us, but sometimes depression meds (if you take any) do little for anxiety. It's really all up to you. You can stay and be miserable just as things are. You can explain to husband that you no longer see a need to 'babysit' a school age child (put him in daycare during the summers)and go out and meet the world again, or you can pack up and go back to where you came from and hope you can pick your old life back up again. Your posting was one of the most honest and saddest posting I've read here in quite a while, you poured it out from your heart and I'm not sure anyone here can actually advise you...only you know what you must do and only you can find the strength to do whatever that is. I wish you all the best and hope you can somehow find yourself again.

Yeah - I finally can post again. Yesterday I could not even get the "Like" mark turn green and this morning I had to leave at 5 am. The Helen Hunt Jackson quotes are just a delight to read. The Logan Pearsall Smith quotes are good and yes, Lilo, the quote you mention and a couple of others could be from Leonard Cohen.