Caregiver for Husband with dementia
drakelady
16 years ago
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agnespuffin
16 years agopfllh
16 years agoRelated Discussions
New Caregiver-Need Financial Advise
Comments (17)A very big Thank You for the tips on record keeping. I will try to start one tonight. 'Till now I've just noted Dr appts. on calendar. I wish she did eat just $20-25 a week. She eats everything in sight. I have to make DH's next day lunch before we eat dinner or there's nothing left. I've really gone through my freezer just trying to make it to the end of the month for my retirement check to get deposited so I can buy more groceries!! Once we catch up on all of the behind bills and pay off S-son's cell phone,sattelite, etc., (He put everything in her name) we will have a little extra to spend on her from her check. She was so spastic about the warrant for the heating oil bill that we took $$ out of our savings and paid it before court day. That will be the first thing to come out of her retirement check. S-son called yesterday to say he had finally gotten a job. I'm doing the happy dance now! Hope it lasts. This has really taken the wind out of his sails because his Dad made it plain that there was NO MONEY. He's had to figure out how to come up with his own party $$s. She is talking about selling her house to get out from under the payments. 2 possible issues with that. 1) With the economy I'm not sure we can get enough to pay off the loans. 2) That house was built by her Daddy and NOTHING has EVER been thrown away! I'm dreading trying to clean out the house and multiple sheds/buildings. All and all, things are settling down a little. Stress level has dropped a notch. All of you have been my life raft. Can't thank you enough. Oh yeah, DH's Mom (Aunt's sister) has called and gone by the house repeatedly to try and get anything she can sell out of it. She knew everything that was going on and has already been there and carted off everything of value she could fit into her car before we found out how bad off Aunt was. (Such a sleeze bag.) In case you are wondering where we have been- DH was in a horrific accident on the job early last year and almost died. We spent many days in intensive care, had a long hospital stay as well as return trips for emergencies that kept popping up, and a very long recovery at home where he was practically bed ridden wnth me giving him daily very strong antibiotic IVs thru Pic line straight to his heart. When we finally got him on his feet and able to go check on Aunt- all of the family vultures had done an awful lot of damage financially as well as helping themselves to antique quilts, dishes, etc. S-son doing the most damage in the $$ dept. Let's just say I'm so grateful to God that I had the upbringing that I had. Poor DH is a Saint to have turned out as well as he did to have come from that family. Thanks for letting me vent here. It soooo helps my stress level to get it out. Betty...See MoreNew caregiver questions
Comments (21)She likes to get out and go places- not senior centers, though. My own Mother took her around to several and they were "full of old people!". She would love nothing more than to go shopping every day, but won't use her wheelchair- insists on walking with her walker. Which would be fine if she could go better than 0.001 inches per minute. So from the front door to Wal-mart and back takes something like two hours for a bottle of shampoo I could have picked up in 15 minutes by myself. I am most decidedly not a shopper as I hate leaving home. I am also restoring a older home by myself and do have other duties around the house so have limited time for this sort of thing as well. I take her where she needs to go but recreational outings are between her and her son (my husband) on weekends. That was the deal when I took this on- I do the caretaking necessary but I am not a paid companion, nor am I the entertainment committee. Her mind is plenty sharp and I do expect her to take some responsibility for finding things to stay interested in. I'm harsh, I know. I watched my Mother throw away her own life in order to take care of other people and I will not do that. There's a limit and this is it. Wow. I got really aggravated there. That alone tells me I need to think about it! Great resource, this venting thing!...See MoreCaregiver Fees
Comments (16)It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job as a caregiver & she sound very sweet & trusts you, but I also agree that you are being underpaid. You are doing a lot more in that hour & ten minutes than just being a companion. Bathing, toileting, feeding, dressing, managing meds. etc is much more than just being a "babysitter. In addition you are doing dishes & taking the dogs out. I cared for my Dad & Mom in our home. After my Dad passed & my mothers dementia deteriorated even more, I looked into an agency so I could attend my son's wedding. They wanted $20 on weekdays with a 4 hour minimum and $25 on weekends again with a guaranteed 4 hour minimum at the least. Fortunately, at the very last moment, my Mom decided to go to the church & wedding after months of telling me she didn't want to go. Go Figure! So we never did need the use of that agency. I would call around the agencies in your area to see what the comperable rates are. You might be able to find a fee that is more equitable for you. She is very fortunate to have you watching out for her....See MoreNew strategies for those caring for a loved one with dementia
Comments (26)I hate the posts were removed as there was something I wanted to reply to. I don't remember what was posted! LOL I do know it was mentioned about door chimes. We have an alarm system and we have door chimes. We leave ours off as it is just the two of us and no need, but if you needed to know if someone was leaving the house, it's a good option. Also, my dad had a pendant when he was in assisted living. He could, of course, call for help if he needed it, but they could also keep track of where he was with the pendant. We have another relative using one now. Really, this type spamming does not bother me. Sometimes it's actually nice to have some of the old threads revived. Otherwise, I just ignore the spammer....See Moresistersunnie
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