So this is the thread that wasn’t posting? Wow, two day delay for this? Can’t figure it out myself. Oh well, great piece. Thanks for posting it. I like the part about figuring out what people need. I have not been around people with dementia yet so It’s good to get some perspective.

Thanks for sharing.

Thank you, Rita. Very timely.

Critical developments - thank you for sharing this Rita.

My cousin is going through this with my aunt. It's such a difficult situation, because my aunt has long-term memory but not short term. She recognizes the main people in her life on most days. She's in hospice because she broke her hip but she also has fast-advancing lung cancer so will not be able to rehab much. In fact, that is maybe why her hip broke, lung cancer sometimes goes into the bones. They found out about the cancer after she had hip surgery. So she's suddenly immobile and in a hospice care facility, two very disorienting experiences for her. But they can't keep telling her over and over that she's dying of cancer, because that traumatizes her all over again every day. So she's very unhappy and so is my cousin and really difficult to figure out how to make her last days comfortable . . .

ETA that like in the article, in so many cases, mine and my cousin's for example, we have other seemingly fully-functioning relatives giving us constant grief about how we are handling things . . . although they are not offering to take over for us, just tell us how bad we are doing . . . !

That's weird. I'm sure I commented on this yesterday (saying thank you). There were one or two other comments at the time I'm pretty sure. Now only ones from 8 hrs ago and newer are showing up.

That was the post where Rita was complying her post had not shown up, so she posted it ysterday and then today, viola, two days after she posted the first time it shows. Forgive the run on sentence.

Yep, you're right, Zalco.

Yes, I commented yesterday and my comment is gone. I said that this is a good strategy because often caregivers pass before the person they are caring for.

I mentioned in your other thread on this, DICE is like customer service. I happen to be good at customer service (just ask all my coworkers who would leave me stranded to deal with potential problems with guests, customers, parents, teachers...) Everything I learned in customer service I use, in varying ways, with my mom, who has dementia, with my dad, who does not but is 92 so lots of issues, my husband, my kids, you name it! Too bad HOUZZ tech group doesn't feel the same way lol!

Thank you for sharing this, Rita. Anything we caregivers can learn from is helpful! I hope all caregivers, at homes or in facilities, receive such training.

It took me a moment to recall that I too posted in the other thread. And yes, it is sometimes taking a very long time for some posts to show up, not just here. It took one of mine 18 hours to appear last weekend about our dog’s passing away and just today it was almost 2 days for someone else.

Anyway, I just said that caregivers should remain guilt-free for whatever care they are providing their loved one. So many people who have never had to do this don’t understand one is doing the best they can do in a difficult situation.

Thank you Rita for the link, I forwarded it to my cousin who has taking care of my aunt for many years. My heart goes out to anyone in that situation just heart breaking.

Cran, I'm finding great support at alzconnect.org, and its caregiver forum, recommended by, I think, Rita on the other thread.

Thanks bpathome, I'll pass this info along as well. I read a few of the post, just heart breaking and it makes some of the things we worry about seem so ridiculous. Hats off to all caregivers!!

Huh?

Did we have a spammer, who then disappeared?

Yes, spammer was flagged enough times for the post to be removed.

Yes. good riddance.

I hate the posts were removed as there was something I wanted to reply to. I don't remember what was posted! LOL

I do know it was mentioned about door chimes. We have an alarm system and we have door chimes. We leave ours off as it is just the two of us and no need, but if you needed to know if someone was leaving the house, it's a good option.

Also, my dad had a pendant when he was in assisted living. He could, of course, call for help if he needed it, but they could also keep track of where he was with the pendant. We have another relative using one now.

Really, this type spamming does not bother me. Sometimes it's actually nice to have some of the old threads revived. Otherwise, I just ignore the spammer.

Problem is that the spammers are often linking to dangerous websites, often in counties known for criminal computer activities.

I don't mind old threads coming up, I do mind those that can be dangerous for your computer.

Yes, the links are what concern me. Sometimes they are just driving traffic to their own site in order to increase ad revenue.

Is Ruby (above) a spammer?

Yes, "Ruby" is a spammer, and "Lupearn" has a history.

I sincerely hope that people can be more open to the idea of care homes. The thing that most refuse to understand is that the people at care homes are professionals who were trained to take care of sick people.https://myhometouch.com/ Let's be honest, dementia patients are a handful and it can be extremely hard sometimes to be patient with them. But caretakers will always have the patient's best iinterest at heart, so I personally believe there's nothing to worry about.

I'm the caregiver for my husband and working on myself to be patient and kind. Most of the time I am. He is responding to the meds and not as bad as two years ago. I know how to calm him now and understand him more. He gets tired often so he sleeps and I can have peace for a while, it's not an easy journey.