HI Nora...good to hear from you. I think hospice will be a huge help. I know they were for me, and they came here 23 months! The chaplain we had was wonderful, and actually did my Mom's service. I hope they can help your father...I'm sure he has too many thoughts. It is very sad.
Praying for a peaceful day tomorrow for you guys. (((to you all))). Shalom...Derry

Derry, Bless you for your prayers. I know that you went down this journey and I remember you talking to me about hospice...after that I read up on it and also heard so many speak of how wonderful they are. Just know that all is in the Lord's hands...with all the info and watching Mom each and everyday I felt the time was getting close for Hospice....it was such a comfort for me when the doctor in E.R. called them....in my heart I knew that they couldn't do anything but then I have my sweet Dad that really knows also but he still had in his mind that we needed to get her to the E.R. He loves her so much and just doesn't think he can let her go....the chaplain was wonderful and for the most part I have to lean on him to help with my Dad. Mom had a really bad day today with swollowing...coughing...so we stopped feeding....she did do better tonight....fed her slow....ensure,pears and juice....she started coughing at the last....today she talked alot....it just amazes me....called loved ones names....gave us big smiles....if you said something she would even repeat what you said....told her again that I knew she was tired and that it was o.k.....that we all loved her and we would all be o.k. and we would all be together again...she just whispered..."yeah"...later on she told Susan...."just wait". Thur. is my day to be with Mom without anyone....my sister is coming up for the day...with Hospice coming in I think that it is a reality check for my sister....finally. Please keep us in your prayers....Nora

Nora, i just feel so bad for you, i actaully started crying. i know hospice care here is wonderful and it's nice to know that your dad has talked to the chaplain. i know that al took a shining to Father Mike when he was in the hospital and he can to see him everyday and they talked in get length. we'll pray for your mom tonight and enjoy your day with your mom! debbie

Hi Nora... Thanks for taking the time to check in with us. I know this is an agonizing time for you and your dad. It sounds like the chaplain is going to be a blessing for your dad. Glad to hear your sis is coming around... Aren't your mother's big smiles wonderful!!! They will help ease the pain in your hearts in years to come. Nora, Mother's doctor said not to worry as long as she peed twice a day... They tried a catheter for a while, but it was a nightmare. She kept getting infections and changing the catheter was painful for her. I eventually asked hospice to see if she could go without it. Dr. approved and she alternated peeing one or two times a day up until she got bad the last 4 days. (She was much happier without the catheter, and they never reinserted it.) May God bless and comfort you all and give you strength for each day. ~breezy

Bless you all for your thoughts and prayers. Deb I keep you and Al...also your kids in my prayers. Breezy...the E.R. doctor told me that they would send her home with a catheter if I wanted one....I said no...he also said that she would most likely get an infection with one. Guess just the unknown is what is so hard....if she is not getting much to eat and not getting much liquid...then not much will come out....on good days when we do get liquid down her I feel like she is still not wetting much....makes me think that the kidneys could be shutting down....just best to not try and figure things out...just love her and feed her...I got out photos of their 50th anniversary and today we are going to look at them....take her outside to swing....she loves to do that. God's peace is with me...I know that he is faithful....Nora

If she is having days of little or nothing taken in, she is probably "playing catch-up" on the other days and doesn't have much fluid with which to make urine. Try not to worry about it, she will void when she has to. If she goes more than 24 hrs., or seems uncomfortable, call the nurse who can come and check her for retention. There is really no need for a catheter if you can keep her dry and clean.
It is a priceless gift you are giving your folks....tho the leave-taking is hard. Let your Dad know we are thinking about him and his sweetheart, if that is appropriate. (((Nora))). Derry

Nora, how wonderful you can still share those precious moments with your mother outside on the swing. You will never regret what you are doing for your dear parents. As Derry said, you couldn't be giving them a greater gift... Thank God He's sustaining you with His peace... I'm assuming you've discussed your wishes with hospice to spare your mom the complications and pain of a catheter. Given that you know your mother so well, what do they want you to do if you suspect she's experiencing some discomfort? (They had me give Mom morphine. As I recall, it takes about 25 - 35 min. for it to begin to work.) Thanks for checking in, dear one. We love you and are praying for you and your precious family. ~breezy

Dear Derry and Breezy,
Talked with the nurse today and she also said...24 hrs...and to call if there was not any urine...tonite she had a really wet diaper...didn't get much of anything down her for breakfast..coughing but lunch and snacks and dinner went pretty good. We cooked fresh squash out of Dad's garden and pureed it for her and she really loved it. I got out the photos and we looked at them and had some good laughs...my Dad said that he just couldn't believe how fat he was..LOL...I said I couldn't believe how skinny I use to be...LOL...my sister said I have always been fat...LOL....Mom just wasn't interested in looking at them but we did have a good morning with the 4 of us just sitting outside and my sister sat swinging with Mom while Dad and I did a little clean up around the patio and organized his plants. I was so good to have the time together...just the 4 of us. Talked with my sister and gave her the little book from Hospice to read...told her that maybe she needed to talk with Mom....Mom needed to hear from her that she was going to be o.k...all my sister said was..."I will"...and changed the subjest....in time she will do it. Hospice left morphine and another drug to give Mom...I have it up stairs with me...just didn't want Dad to deal with having it at this time. I know that this is such a precious time...our journey....thoughts come and go...I will look at Mom and think...Oh Lord she is so tired and her little body is getting so tired and it is so hard for her to swollow...and you see it in her eyes....then thoughts are...it's a good day...she is walking and saying things...more and more I realize that we can't really look back....know that our tomorrows are in the Lords hands and we are to just take each and every day given and make it a day of joy as best as we can. In His Time....and I thank and praise Him for giving me this journey. It gives me such comfort to know that you all...my dear friends are keeping us in prayer. I will tell my sweet Dad. We are looking forward to having our family here this week-end...the grandbabies will bring lots of smiles to Mom and Dad. Nora

(((( Nora ))))
My heart and prayers go out to you and your precious loved ones...please know that you are in my prayers and thoughts, sweet angel...blessings to all of you, Mimi

Nora! I haven't been here in a long while. It's so good to hear from you. Note that my email address has changed. I would love to continue hearing from you via email. You are a wonderful daughter and I am sure that your mom and dad appreciate all that you do for them. What a blessing!
I'm missing Mom more and more. This Friday, June 3 will be a year for her leaving us. Last Memorial Day was the last time we were all together as a family. I guess Memorial Day will be the sad holiday surrounding Mom's passing.
I will definitely keep you and your mom and dad in my prayers.
Please keep in touch.
Lu

Nora, may God bless you and your family, and give you peace and comfort throughout this journey. Your parents are already blessed to have you for their daughter, as you continue to share these precious times together.
You are all in my prayers each night....ALL of you...

God Bless
Linda

God Bless each of you....as I have said...it gives me so much comfort to know that you all are praying for us....prayer is so powerful...and I know that the Lord hears us....so many times I tell the Lord how thankful I am to still have my precious parents...as so many of you have gone down this journey and your loved ones are at peace....no matter how old you are...the heart hurts. I draw peace...the peace that I know that Mom is ready and she will go and be with Jesus...her earthly body is just withering away...but she still has a smile...and we cherish those smiles. God Bless!!! Nora