((((Kat)))) i 2was wondering how your dad was doing. as you know my DH has MM also, but he seems to be doing pretty good right now (knock on wood). He also was on the Thalidamid, I can't remember how long he was on it though, quite awhile though we think. yes that and the pain meds do cause constipation. Right now DH isn't taking any thing for the MM, after he got off the Thalidamid, he was on Velcade...has your dad had that yet?? he was on it for a while, then dr took him off it, his feet and legs were causing him so much trouble (neuropathy), but his counts have remained stable quite awhile, thank God, we really believe that God has touched him! DH takes Miralax for his bowels, seems to work good for him. the first time he tried it, he didn't think it worked, so stopped it. then months later we tried again, and he's been taking it ever since, he only takes about a Tablespoon every night. I put it in a glass and add a little water to dissolve it, then fill the cup with diet twist-up from Walmart, but you can use other stuff, pop, or juice, etc. doesn't have much taste to it. as a matter of fact, our 10 yr old DD has to take it and she takes a LOT more than DH does! sometimes it takes a couple of days for it to start working though, but you can increase or decrease the Miralax, you might want to ask his dr about it, even his reg. dr could prescribe it! oh another thing when DH was losing so much weight and didn't want to eat, I would make him milkshakes and put in Carnation instant breakfast, for more protein, or if your dad likes Ensure or Boost, you could mix it with the milkshake. DH never liked either one of those, and could tell it was in the milkshakes! but didn't mind the Carnation instant breakfast in it though. as for the other problem, don't really have an answer for you! i know it would be hard to do, i know when my mom was sick with pancreatic cancer, I had to help wash her, an was uncomfortable too!, i let her wash her private parts! I help DH take his shower, but thats different than it being your dad! Maybe someone else has some ideas for you!! good luck to all of you!!! DianePA

Kathy, my kids would have loved you. My Grandkids would love you now but my girls would hate you. (grin) I just might steal that idea.... My kids never encountered "candy rationing" either. They ate as much of it as they wanted, when they wanted. I usually used the rest of the chocolate Easter bunnies to make chocolate chip cookies about September. As for Halloween, anything that wasn't eaten by Christmas got used in the Christmas baking or taken to work for the candy jars, where it got thrown away when the Valentine's Day candy got brought in..... And neither of my girls were ever overweight and both have perfect teeth! I did get all black jelly beans and anything else made of black licorice. Now I'm pickier, I want licorice All Sorts, LOL, or Black Crows. Annie

You all are so right, thank you for the advice, especially the cash offer. Yes I was thinking of waving thousands in front of his face (by selling my car and buying another one) just to get him to go, because money and drugs is all that matters to this man. He cares nothing for his parents, him self, and above all, his daughter. She has been a burden on him since day 1. However, after reading these posts, I see what you mean, he may take it as a payoff, which could backfire on me. Maui: I do NOT have full legal custody. In our decree it states I have "sole physical custody", meaning, DD will always LIVE with me in MY home. Then it states "joint legal custody", which goes onto state that the father will have a 50/50 say in her health care (even tho it states he will never, ever have to pay for ANY medical treatments or insurance coverage), her schooling (even tho it states he will never have to help with school fees) and "general upbringing". I do not want to keep DD from her paternal grandparents. I have VERY fond memories of MY paternal grandparents... my father was "there" but completely, totally uninterested in me (he still is and doesn't like us coming around). My dad's parents were my best friends... much like DD's paternal g-parents. I would never dream of denying her a love like that. Tami ... I cannot qualify for public assistance, no way in lleh!!! I make over $40k a year (NO college degree... just tenacity, ambition, and I LOVE TO WORK!), I own my own home, etc. To give all that up just to do this, would be ludicrous. Trust me I have thought about what it would be like to STOOP to his level; to not wanna work, to live either with my parents or in some crappy subsidized housing somewhere, and the thought makes me ill. DD and I have a great life and a very nice home, and when I accepted WIC for the first year of her life (I had to... her father moved out and I was left with a SLEW of his bills, and to keep my credit A+, I had to pay them so it left me kinda broke) I felt awful when I cashed in those vouchers. This is terrible but when I'd use those WIC vouchers, I would get trashy looks from the gals at the grocery. I was not some welfare-mom who was toting 9 kids and didn't know what birth control was, yet I got the looks. When my salary rose up and WIC was cancelled, I was relieved. Talley Sue (thanks for your long response btw): You aren't the first to call me "dense and worried" over this. I swear when he tried to take her last year it was the worst weekend of my life. I spent two days vomiting I was so upset over what "almost" happened. I KNOW I just need to do what I can do, meaning, keep up on the Child Support summons, and make sure his parents are "watching him", even tho they said they won't interfere with his "problems" any more... but I cannot help but to be worried. He doesn't have the stability to follow through on the idea of removing my custody or "legally" removing DD from me... but his parents are SO behind him and think I'm the anti-christ for keeping tabs on him. They used to really respect me and his mother was very friendly, but since his release from prison in October (during this free time he managed to knock up his second wife, who is a 20 year old girl with two kids by two different fathers...), they have been at odds with me. I pray every night that he does himself in. I know that is bad, to wish that upon someone, but I'd rather it be him then my DD or his parents or someone else. He is the one who deserves to worry and suffer... not DD or anyone else. Yer right Talley Sue, he will always be around, I fear. I know he wants to leave KY and he wants his 'freedom' away from everyone here who has 'harmed' him, but he cannot make it in this world without his mother's support. At least DD and I are very close. I make sure of that. Among all the disciplining and rules I set in my house, we have a very strong love and she listens to me like you'd not believe. I hope in time she will see just what her father is... do you think she WILL? As a teenager, or as an adult? Or even when she gets into grade school??? - darkeyedgirl

I honestly didn't have time to take in the costumes. They came by so fast. I did notice a lot of witches and not very many princesses. I saw several Strawberry Shortcakes. Soldiers were popular. Nothing really stood out either way. I did take notice that all of the older kids put an effort of some degree into a costume. I love seeing the older kids enjoy trick or treating. A few girls questioned if they were too old. Heck, no! Kids can trick or treat until they graduate high school as far as I'm concerned. It's fun and innocent and it was great seeing everyone out enjoying the night.