Last night around 11:30PM my time, I accidentally posted this thread on the wrong side of our forum. I'm a morning person and usually up at 5:30AM. I've now come to the conclusion that I should NOT be allowed to post online after 9PM, as this is the second time I've done that in the past month(LOL)! Anyhoo, I immediately emailed the the GardenWeb staff and they were kind enough to move my original post and will soon be deleting it so that we're not plagued with 2 of the same posts here. I'm so sorry! In the meantime, I've copied and pasted the two responses that are on my original post here below. Lynn Posted by desertsteph (My Page) on Fri, Jul 20, 12 at 1:50 be very grateful! lol! it'll probably ebb and flow in the next few yrs but hopefully will settle down then. that was certainly a good starter on the upswing tho. Posted by yayagal (My Page) on Fri, Jul 20, 12 at 9:01 hahahahhaha Lynn, what your daughter said to you brought a tear to my eyes. Underneath all the drama was a girl who loves, admires, respects and adores you. You're so lucky she could say those things out loud. I only get them in cards. I have one daughter and she's never been an affectionate type but she shows her love in other ways. BUT she had one daughter who is the love of my life and always shows affection, she's 27 now and we chat at least 4 times a week. They all turn out great in the end but as my Mom used to say "Bury them at 14 and dig them up at 21" lol. She had six daughters and one son.

Well, I guess I don't get to guess anyone's age since it has all been revealed. Allison - WOW! I so want the name of your surgeon since Im in TN, so could easily make a trip to AL. You look amazing and you've got a peaches n cream skin (hatin ya!!) Mona - you look so awesome & what a cutie you are!! I, too, want your make-up secrets and too funny @ the story you told about the older woman. Eclectic - you are beautiful and I wouldn't have guessed 40. Ive noticed women of color age beautifully & you will too. Cooperbailey - You are a doll & it's weird but from your post you look like I would expect you too. Very approachable. Sueb - you have those dark hershey bar eyes that are gorgeous! Judiegal - you have that beautiful dark Italian coloring and hair. You look awesome & all those are your girls??!! OMG - 1 child just about did me in!! Stinky - 48....no way, girl!! Pesky - you have nary a wrinkle & your DH doesn't even look younger than you!! So your having eyelid surgery, too. You'll be passing for a sibling to your children! Kitchenkelly - you are such a cutie!! Shee - Show your pretty face, girl!! I remember seeing a pic of your b4 & your gawgeous! you youngin :) Mitch - You look awesome....would you please come to TN and teach me how to dress & accessorize. I bet you have some awesome clothes. And beautiful teeth. Susanwrites - I would have never guessed your age. What beautiful hair you have.....long blonde and flowing Kellyeng - welll, aren't you a cutie. Beautiful eyes Golddust - I don't think you or your daughter look your age. You both are beautiful. I really want to comment about everyone b/c I feel as women we need to hear about the beautiful we do have. Women can be so catty that they don't often compliment other women. know I too often pick myself to misery with comparing myself to others that are younger, skinnier, more stylish.....the list goes on. Ok....I'll be back b/c I have comments about the rest....gotta leave to pick son up from school. Smiles:) Smiles:)

Hi Quirk, Altho DH has 3 Drs and doesnt go 90 days without seeing one or the other, he s OK..He did tell SS1 he may have to go on disability and would find out soon..SS1 made no further inquiries, so I m guessing he just doesnt care...SS2 is much closer to DH, but also younger(teenager)so I guess I ll just encourage DH to tell him as much as he thinks he can process at his age...As for the mother, information blackout!!! When DH was in critical condition, and I called son to hospital, Ex went and called ALL her ex in laws....They were furious with me for not calling them, but to tell you the truth, they never entered my mind, I was too worried...After surgery, when DH found out they had been called, he was furious, he has been estranged from them for years..But EX made it HER business to call them, sigh, but thats another story, LOL....The best Dotz

Bonnie, It only gets better when they get older if they are taught from the beginning HOW to behave properly. If they are allowed to treat people like crap, they won't wake up one morning & realize they shouldn't act that way. However if the parents are drilling into them to treat people nice, they may wake up one day & realize the parents were right. Usually it happens when they become parents themselves. (and maybe they appreciate or realize how hard it is to be a stepparent when they become one or see a situation that opens their eyes to it) As you can see in other threads, every kid & every situation is different. I read Pseudo's thread where her SD has an about face & now wants to be "friends" with Pseudo after years of animosity. My first inclination is that the SD is going to use her "friendliness" with SM as a weapon to hurt a mom she is angry at, rather than an epiphany that she now realizes how great SM is and loves her for it. I'm not saying she doesn't realize how great Pseudo is, because she does realize Pseudo doesn't treat her as bad as her own mom... but in my opinion, it's more likely a manipulation. My point is that kids do get older & figure things out, form their own opinions, and maybe even stick up for themselves.... but do you really want to go through what Pseudo is going through? Or JustNotMartha? Or me? or any of the other SM's that are in similar situations? We all had the best intentions, have given endlessly & ended up, in one way or another, stressed out & frustrated. and the stress takes it's toll... on our relationships, physical health, mental health, and quality of work. I'm envious of those that can toss back a few drinks, even though I abstain from alcohol because my mom is an alcoholic & I have health problems I don't want to make worse... but I've been on medication, take stress management, go to counseling, and have gained weight because I'm a stress eater. For me, it just keeps getting worse. My SD is 12 now. She knows her mom is full of BS. She knows all I've done for her. But, there are people in their 30's, 40's, and older that can STILL be manipulated. There is no magical age where that ends... it ends when a person decides they are being manipulated and no longer wants to allow someone else to manipulate them. My SD's grandma is in her 70's and still allows BM to tell her what to do. That is what dysfunction is all about. Perhaps there is something in your past that draws you into the situation because that is where you're comfortable?