Cynthia, SO nice to finally hear from you. I was getting worried about and "that fool dog of your's". I can't even begin to contemplate how hard this must be. At least with Rex he still had 3 legs left to hop around on... and while he may've been sore for some time he could at least move around and shift position without yelping. I really would like to see a picture if you're up to shooting it and then posting it. Hang tough! I love candles in the windows of a home (pictures? look who's talkin'). The only reason I don't do it here is that there are windowboxes under the roadside window and I fill them with greens that would hide the candles. But when I was a kid we used them. And, MARTIE, we added one for every Sunday in Advent! All the decorations were left up until the Epiphany (Twelfth Night) and they came down the next day. I finished the 3 pediments this afternoon and put them up. I like them. But need to add something pale/bright to the lower edge to keeping them from "oozing" visually into the window below... . Shoulda bought more .99 lemons at Wallyworld, damnit. I have the big pediment on the dining room table right now and am about to embark on that. Boxwood is holding up, and I'm a whiz at making white pine swags now. :) (smells really good in here and the cats are having a total blast... in and out, in and out, doing their wonderful kitty routines. (thinking of Cynthia and the candles). Norma, your photographs are lovely (no "blurries" here, either)! I see a lot more color than just green grass in those shots. I love the way Mother Nature changes the palette over the course of the seasons but gives us the shimmer of rain and snow, instead. Martie, Kyle should be excited about his position. He must be having the time of his life. I'm a bit envious, frankly! :) I'm still struggling with how Mum's life ended, Martie. Not that I think I could have done more (aside from the ususal regrets you feel when someone you love dies), but there are several things I would love the opportunity to go back and "fine tune". I've thought about your question repeatedly over the past few days and still don't really have what I want to say completely figured out. It's such a huge thing to face and I still feel the full force of the wave that overtook me and hurled me onto the beach. I'm still shaking my head and trying to "collect myself"; checking again and again to make sure "everything is here". A good, family plan is the perfect place to start and having the doctor know you is KEY. IF you're able, make sure your Mom's doctor "follows" her if she ends up living with her children or enters a nursing home. That's one of the things I most regret... I loved her doctor when she was with me. He was young, hip, and all about minimizing medications and keeping her ACTIVE. I deeply regret the loss of that when Mum entered that awful place. Many, many thoughts and reminiscences today... alone with my thoughts, the animals and my final project (helmeet working AND going out with his buddy tonight). Some tears, a lot of "singing along", and the appreciation that the decorations are really ALL Mum. I learned it somewhere, afterall! Thinking of my friends tonight and still hoping for some basic pointers on how to "light" a basic TECHINICAL shot with my camera. Please? (MY tent would have a perpetually warm hot water bottle, blue cheese and pate. A cat, a good biography... want to know more about Martin Luther and Abraham Lincoln. Sparkling water with lemon, and Pinot Grigio or a nice red wine. Clementines, olives, and almonds. It would smell like evergreens, too).

This is a great thread. I first have to say that I had my husband look at some of this, and I will say upfront that he is totally engaged (he does most of the cooking). But I'm terrible. My family is here and rated me at a 9.5 out of 10 for being a witch the hours before a party. I remember yelling at my daughter because I had just hung up a perfect clean towerl on the hanging ring and went in, they had used it, and wadded it up over the ring. I yelled at them, and still feel bad about it today. Most importantly because I don't want them to think that entertaining is awful and never have a dinner party because they remember it being hell day. I grew up with my mother keeping a horrendous house. It was a mess, and I mean a mess. Counters piled with crap, dishes not done for days, and she didn't care. She was always having friends stop by. Even as a young child, it embarassed me to all heck. I can still remember coming home from babysitting at midnight or so when I was 12 or 13 years old (I started young), and I would clean the kitchen from top to bottom. It would take a couple of hours. I was different than her even back then. When my dad remarried, it was Martha Stewart land. She had to have it spotless. Every Saturday was crack and corner day. We quite literally had to pull the couch out and vacuum under it at least every other week, and we had to bleach the counters. Crazy the other way! So, I can't seem to have anyone over unless my house is totally cleaned! And our parties themselves are quite memorable to everyone who comes. They talk about it afterward for weeks. I do enjoy having wonderful parties but I also wish I could relax about my house. I know its wrapped up in my childhood psyche. I will even make sure the main counters are clean as guests are arriving for a dinner party. And that's while we're using the kitchen! But I'm also so proud of our kitchen and want to show it off. Now one time, we had a Chinese extravaganze where we covered our desk with Chinese ingredients, friends came over at noon and didn't leave until midnight. The men mostly cooked and it was a blast. Every inch of every counter was covered with crap. I remember walking in the kitchen, the dust was flying from someone rolling out potstickers while someone else was frying a whole fish over the wok burner, and someone else was mixing something up. I didn't care what the kitchen looked like that day. I'll never forget that party. I don't know if I'll ever change about the clean house though. It's so engrained in me. Well, my husband is making London Broil so I'm off to the kitchen!! Great stories though. I think we have more in common than we realized.

I remember an illustration I used to tell my kids when they were little. You can use any circumstance to fit your needs here. A young person wanted to go and see some terrible movie and asked mama for permission. She was cooking at the time and decided to make some Jell-O- "Tommy" (we'll call him) "Go get those onion skins from the garbage bag, "Now, put them in the Jell-O while I stir it around" Tommy was horrified but he did it. "Now, get those eggshells and do the same thing" After a while Tommy said "But Mom, we'll never be able to eat that Jell-O it's all messed up!!" "Exactly" said mom That's why Mom doesn't always approve of everything you want to do ..you don't have to clutter your mind up with all that garbage" We are all familiar with Internet SPAM and Message Boards Spam. But what about the SPAM that comes into our thinking day in and day out. By Ugly lyrics, by a constant barrage of ads on TV; telling us we are not pretty enough or thin enough etc,. by some newscasters who inject fear and worry on every broadcast. By friends, and relatives perhaps laughing at us for the measures we are taking. I was thinking that we kind of have to handle it like we do with SPAM on the computer. They say the worst thing to do is to reply to it; DELETE IT is most of the advice, even though it takes some effort on our part. They have certain programs now to help get rid of this stuff but most of the time it is up to us. So, from now on when a disturbing thought comes in or unpleasant TV etc, if it is something seemingly not not under my control I'm looking at it like I would the subject line of a SPAM email, and if it is not something I know or need to know, I am DELETING it and not going to roll it around in my mind like a piece of sweet candy.

What a great post! We moved into our house in March of 2012 and we love to entertain. It is much easier in the warmer months since we have a large covered patio and the kids can play outside. However, we hosted our first large indoor gathering this past Christmas and it was very stressful!! So what were the lessons learned from this last party?? 1) Make rules for the children. -We found food in toy bins and stickiness from spilled juice on the playroom floor. Next time we will tell kids that food and drink are only allowed in the kitchen and dining room. -Designate one bathroom for the kids and put kid friendly towels in them. We have a beautiful powder room which got torn apart...scuffs on our beautiful vanity, stains on the nice towels, etc. Next time we will tell the kids to use the kids bathroom only. -LOCK doors! We did this for this party and it worked out great! We locked the toy room closet and left out several toys that were easy to put away. We also locked bedroom doors that we didn't want kids to go into. Closing a door is not enough! Kids usually end up opening closed doors out of curiosity or open them if they decide to play hide and seek! In our case this forces kids to stay in the play room area only with the kids bathroom close by. 2) Make sure you get RSVP's. We made WAY too much food so we ended up sending guests home with food. Even still a lot of food was wasted. I think it is always better to have too much food rather than not enough, but it was excessive in our case! 3) Clean as you go! We have double dishwashers so I could have easily cleaned up while talking to the ladies after dinner. Instead we all sat around and relaxed. The kids then had meltdowns and many were not able to stay and help clean up. My hubby got called into work at the end of the night and I was left with a major kitchen disaster at the end of the night! Yikes!! I think in the future I may hire a pair of high school gals to help keep the kids in order, help serve, and help clean up at the end of the night! Now for things that DID work out: -Preparing as much as I could the night before (e.g., setting the table, setting up beverages, putting out platters with sticky notes labeling what will go in them the next day, empty dishwashers, clean bathrooms and check toilet paper, etc) -Asking guests to bring something. I provided the main dishes and some appetizers. But then guests brought salad, side dishes, and dessert. We had designated areas for the appetizers/salad, main/side dishes, and dessert. So when the guests arrived we had them place the food in the appropriate area. I have learned to not have guests bring main dishes. We've run into problems in the past where people brought small dishes and there wasn't enough food to go around. -Self-serve beverage station. We get drinks for guests when they first arrive, then we make it easy for them to serve themselves for the rest of the night. We usually do beer, wine, and sometimes margaritas. Then we have a large self serve beverage jar that has water and lemon slices in it. And then juice for the kids. Juice boxes are a no-no because inevitably the kids squeeze too hard and the juice gets everywhere. At dessert time, we turn on a huge hot water dispenser and leave out a tray of different teas and chai. For the kids we leave out plastic cups and a Sharpie pen for parents to write their kids' names on the cups. Then for the adults I leave out wine and/or margarita glasses with charms on them (the charms are all different so guests can easily identify their charm/glass). I also leave out crystal clear plastic cups for adults to use if they want water. Depending on the size of the party, for hot drinks I will leave out either mugs or disposable hot cups. BTW, I also have crystal water goblets at each adult place setting. And I leave a crystal pitcher of water on the table at dinner time. -Having an adult table and a kids table. We had the adult table in the dining room and the kids table in the breakfast nook. This allowed us to have nice adult conversation without the kids interrupting us. We also had the kids eat first so adults could assist if needed. Makes for a more peaceful adult dinner time since the kids mostly played while we ate. -We did a gift exchange for the kids only. It was fun to watch kids open up a gift. -We took family pictures. We pulled each family to the fireplace area and took a family picture for them. I still have yet to email them out :) I have to admit, I was not crazy about doing an indoor party for that many adults and kids. Clean up was MUCH harder indoors. We may have to do a Christmas in July party this year so we can have the party outdoors!! Or have an adult only party at Christmas time. This post was edited by janealexa on Sat, Jan 5, 13 at 17:52