A friend of mine was a bartender for a while, and he prided himself on being able to tell when a drinker was a newbie by the godawful stuff they would order. His most memorable order was for a scotch and 7-up with a cherry. After I shuddered, he said 'But then the guy ordered three more!'

I knew someone who liked Maker's Mark and Mountain Dew. What a waste of fine bourbon.

When I throw a party, I have decent scotch available, but I hide the single malt for fear someone will abuse it in a similar manner. (Cast not your pearls before swine, and all that.)

My general (dismissive) term for any sweetish drink which seems to be designed to hide the taste of liquor is 'sorority girl drink'. Not to say that I haven't ever partaken of a frozen daiquiri, but I'd prefer a simple rum and tonic. And, contrary to that song popular a couple of decades back, I HATE pina coladas. Ugh.

I switch my "usual" when the weather changes.... cooler temperatures find me sipping red wine (malbec is my current kick), a single malt (I prefer the more peaty varieties) or bourbon (on the rocks or a Manhattan up, please). Warmer temps usually find me with a vodka and seltzer (not those nasty flavored things - Grey Goose or Belvedere, a splash of plain selter and a slice of fresh citrus) or very rarely a Gin & Tonic.

I did try something "new" yesterday, a friend turned me on to what she calls an "Inigo Montoya". Patron silver, a squeeze of fresh lime, a squeeze of fresh orange, a pinch of salt, shaken and poured into a highball glass. Top it with Fresca. It was quite good, reminiscent of a Margarita but fizzy and much sweeter and just what I needed after 6 hours of yardwork.

I do keep a "full" bar stocked at the house and can accommodate almost anything someone would want. The only "party" drink I make is on Derby Day when I will make up batches of Mint Juleps. I did stray a little from the norm this past year though, on a whim I made Mint Julep Jello Shots and Mojito Jello Shots. They were really popular so I may have to keep them on the list for next year.

Alexa

Bahaa :) I tried making some margarita ones once, starting with unflavored gelatin, but I used too much and they were weird and solid. Rail vodka and Tang is my favorite disgusting beverage. Unless slushy, half-frozen domestic beer counts.

I would tell you what the most ludicrous libation I've had was, but, uh, I don't quite remember what it was.

Sally

Well, I invited the cast and the crew that was present of the play I am directing over last Friday after rehearsal.
It's a motley and varied bunch....went through 2 1/2 bottles of white wine, there were 3 scotch on the rocks drinkers, one buy was drinking rum and coke with a splash of amaretto. And it must have been a good party as the last few headed out about 2:45.
My formula for a good party? Have booze, glasses and ice set out, have a cooler full of beer and sodas and stand back!

Years ago we mixed up something we called "sauce"....because it was easy to get sauced drinking it. It was a can of frozen lemonade, that can filled with Canadian Club, and then with beer and then with Fresca....eww!
Another, during college days was a big pitcher, fill half full with beer from the keg and fill the rest of the way with champagne...Aiyiyi!!

When I was a wee young lady, my father told me never to mix good liquor with soda pop. If I wanted something sweet, drink the soda, if I wanted a drink, drink the booze. And if I needed the soda to disguise the taste of the booze, I shouldn't be drinking at all.

Garbage can punch, served at boonie parties way back in college. Hawaiian punch and/or other juices and garbage can provided by the hosts, and guests bringing the liquor to add to the garbage can.

"It was a can of frozen lemonade, that can filled with Canadian Club, and then with beer and then with Fresca....eww!"

That is pretty much the same as a drink we used call a Skip and Go Naked. It was popular during the era of another one called the Harvey Wallbanger.

Jim

I confess I have never had a jello shot. I didn't start seriously consuming alcohol of any kind until I was 50. My children on the other hand, to my dismay, seemed to be on very familiar terms with Jager Bombs (a concoction of Red Bull and Jagermeister) in high school. Just the thought of that combination makes me cringe.

I stick with wine with occasional forays into vodka or gin and tonic.

Here is a link that might be useful: Gourmet jello shots.

Our high school drink of choice was Sloe Gin on ice. Nasty stuff.

I still am not sure what Sloe Gin is. I sure have never seen or heard of it since the late 1960s....

When I was a few years older (so sophisticated) I moved on to Cold Duck.

ML

I've seen lots of ludicrous and disgusting libations, but I think it's a matter of opinion and perspective. I detest Jello and haven't found any alcohol that I actually like, so Jello shots seem to me to be the absolute height of disgusting drinks. Until I heard of pudding shots. (sigh)

I've been known to drink sangria, which my mother says is ludicrous, mixing good wine with fruit. I've had a screwdriver or two in my life, and since we owned a bar/restaurant I've tried a sip of nearly anything you can think of, from martinis to Drambuie to sloe gin fizz to the aforementioned Harvey Wallbanger. My Dad always drank vodka and Squirt and my Aunt Midge drank Canadian Mist and Coke.

My family has a tendency to mix up things like garbage can punch and Jim's Skip and Go Naked. I made a punch bowl of Blue Motorcycles once for a January birthday party and when people started getting sick it made blue patterns in the snow. I abstained then and continue to do so. LOL.

Elery's favorite right now, though, is a glass of jalapeno wine with a slice of pickled jalapeno and a sliver of fresh habanero on the rim. Another instance in which I abstain. (grin)

Annie

Boilo probably ranks at the top of my Ludicrous Libation list. My best friend of many years originally grew up in what is called the Coal Regions of PA.

When we arrived for our first Christmas party at their house, we were greeted by a lovely citrusy, spicy scent that I later learned was Boilo, a traditional holiday beverage. It smelled great and tasted good, served warm in glasses made just for Boilo. Guests who were originally were from the coal regions were delighted to have a Taste of Home.

However, by the end of the party, we called our neighbor to come and drive us home.

As the DUI laws became tougher in PA and we became older and wiser, Boilo still makes an appearance at their Christmas parties but only as a goodbye toast as we're leaving.

The link below is a Boilo recipe similar to hers and a bit of its history.

Here is a link that might be useful: Boilo recipe and lore

Holy smokes, Ruthanna, that'd surely take a designated driver! (grin)

My Aunt Midge used to make Cherry Bounce at Christmas, which was basically a rum pot but made with cherries and 100 proof vodka. And the whole family would start a Rumtopf about June, adding layers of fruit as they became ripe and available, then covering with rum. The resulting liquor was served at the family Christmas party, mother mixed hers with ginger ale, and the fruit ladled over pound cake or ice cream.

Good thing Dad and Aunt Midge are both gone or they'd HAVE to try Boilo!

Annie

Ah, Alexa, this is why we are friends! An "Inigo Montoya" sounds like my perfect cocktail. I love Patron and Fresca.

At a recent party we served Patron Paloma, which is:
Patron Reposado 1 1/2 oz
Grapefruit Juice 1 oz

Freshly Squeezed Lime
Lemon-Lime Soda 1 1/2 oz
Pinch of Salt
I premixed the drink and poured them into 16ounce Ball canning jars, which were sealed and kept over ice in a metal tub. They were very popular.

In the winter, I sometimes have Patron xoCafe with Patron Silver, a drink my husband has dubbed the "Sure Thing". :)

I love sangria! It completely sneaks up on me though, so I do have to be careful not to over indulge.

AM

Patron is wonderful stuff.

Oh...my head hurts when I even think about Sloe Gin...I do remember that they were going to take me to the ER because they thought I was tossing up blood...I have never touched that stuff again. This was 1967.

DH worked at Tulane Med School late 60's early 70's and used to bring home lab alcohol and we made Sangria from that for parties. We had wine bottles that were like pottery...can't remember the name of the brand..this was early 1970's and we cut the top of and used them as tall glasses. Take the lab alcohol and add Gallo red and slices of fruit and a splash of sugar. Wow...only one " glass" per person :) This was in New Orleans so drinking and driving was and still is , unfortunately , the norm :(

Haven't had any hard liquor in the house in years and years. A glass of wine with dinner and that is it. On a rare occasion when I am out I will have Gentleman Jack neat...mmmh. It tastes so good...which is why we don't keep anything at the house.

Fun thread. c

That jello shot site is awesome. The hostess from last night is working on trying some of those out. We're planning a jello shot Halloween party!

The other aspect of Saturday night, besides drinking rather too much, was smoking - cigars for some, pipes for others. I got my old Petersen out and puffed for the first time in, see, ten years maybe?

Between the booze and smoke, I was glad that I'd ridden my bike to the dinner. Felt good to step out into the cool night, ride on dark empty streets, and push clean air into my lungs and my head. Not even a hangover. And no particular desire to get the pipe out for another, well, several months anyway.

It helped that I drank a lot of water that evening. So when we do jello shot Halloween, I need to encourage people to drink lots of water during the evening. I'm thinking it would be fun to have a periodic water tasting - different types of still and sparkling water, pitting Vittel against Fiji, Perrier against Badoit. What do you think? Is there enough of a difference between waters, or are water snobs just making it up?

I just returned from a weekend in Philly that included a dinner at a great mexican restuarant. PA has some strange liquor laws so many restaurants are "BYOB". This one skirts the issue a bit by giving away free margaritas with entrees (technically they are not selling it). They refill your glass like it's water.

Ouch.

Jo

john..reminds me of when we lived in Holland. We would ride our bikes to a party....boy can the Dutch throw a party. Usually they don't start till the wee hours. We would then do as you did...walk out into the wonderful cool quiet night...ride our bikes along the now deserted streets with the hum of the generator on the light to keep you company. Brings back lovely memories.

The drinking of water is a very very good idea. The problem with alcohol is it is dehydrating. The severe headache is caused by the brain shrinking !! Not a pleasant thought at all . The rule is to drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink. It hydrates you and also fills you up . c

Does a Fuzzy Navel count as a ludicrous drink? I can throw those disgusting sweet drinks back like water. Worst drinking experience I ever had was a sickly punch of grain alcohol and something orange, thoroughly stirred inside my stomach by dancing The Frug at frat party. Oh my lord, was I a sick puppy after that. I was about 17 at the time.

Fuzzy navals,Harvey Walbangers, Tequila sunrises, Mud Slides, and cosmopolitan all qualify as "ludicrous Libations".

One Fraternity where I dated, full of pre med and chem majors, would make a vat of something fruity about 1 week before the event and allow it to "esterize"....all I know is that would knock you on your ear, in a most unsuspecting way. Princeton was famous for Saturday morning milk punch parties, said to ease the pain of the night before....but it sure made a good start to a Saturday.
At another party, there was Fishhouse punch served from a bath tub....thankfully diluted with tea.
Scotch is so much tamer!!

Oh I don't know that I agree with Cosmo's, Linda. They might be a woman's drink but not a girly drink. But these are just our opinions and of course nothing about opinions is absolute. With that disclaimer, I propose the following opinionated guideline: If you like sweet drinks that's fine. But if it's got a cutesy or provocative name, chances are very good that it should be a high school memory, and chances are excellent that someone, somewhere is eyeing you a little funny if you're ordering one and you're past college age.

I've never really "understood" jello shots, but think that the party theme sounds like fun. Someone here posted these margarita shots a while back and I made a batch for the heck of it. Tasted good and it was a nice presentation. I'd serve them at a party if it seemed appropriate.

Here is a link that might be useful: margarita jello shots

"...provocative..."

You've reminded me of another called Between the Sheets.

I don't know if John was anticipating drinks with ludicrous names or just ludicrous recipes. Anyway, he hasn't objected. So I submit a favorite from the exotic drinks on the menu of my local Chinese restaurant. It's called a Suffering Ba$tard.

Jim

Ok, then how about the old favorite prank, the Cement Mixer. 50/50 Baileys and lime juice, swish it around in your mouth and good luck.

Tequila Oyster shots seem pretty ludicrous, but I wouldn't turn one down. I've usually had them as just tequila, oyster and tabasco, but I see that Emeril has a stepped-up version that looks interesting.

Here is a link that might be useful: emeril's version

Canadian CFers of a certain age may have listened to a late night radio program on the CBC called Eclectic Circus whose host, Allan Mcfee, often mentioned Jellied Gin. Supposedly it was a concoction made by his mother or an aunt. This was many years before Jello Shots. I wonder if it was the true origin of the idea.

I'm not Canadian but I have listened to a lot of CBC radio.

Jim

Make that 'McPhee', not McFee.

Jim

Wine jelly made with Madiera or sherry has been around since the days of Thomas Jefferson and was served at presidential dinners during his administration and also Zachary Taylor's. It's hard for me to imagine how they tasted with calves' feet as the jelling agent.

Speaking of which, ever had jellied madrliene?...I remember being served that long ago in some fancy restaurant, in a heavy hotel silver cup on a plate with a doily....garnished with a lemon wedge, the jelly cut into cubes and served with a boullion spoon. But alas, no booze in it.
And...Stumpy....would you ever go into a bar and order a Cosmo?...would you ever EVER consider drinking 3 of them???
I rest my case! Class Cosmo with the rest of the ludicrous libations.....and you can Long Island Iced tea to the list!!

No, ma'am, I would not order a Cosmo. But I'd not be mortified if my wife did, regardless of who was around.

And don't be dissin' my LI Iced Tea!!!

Well I guess as far as truly ludicrous drinks go, my personal prize would go to friends of my parents. He was a big strapping guy of Irish descent, she a truly tiny petite blond of English heritage, who had acquired the unfortunate nickname of Moose (her given name was Martha). They used to throw an incredible party every year where the featured beverage was a melted vanilla ice cream based concoction (vodka, kahlua, rum, and Gawd knows what else) that was affectionatey called "Moose Milk".

Of course, they were summer people in my home town in Maine, so that might have contributed to the name. I am going to have to see if I can track down one of the 3 or 4 people who had the secret recipe!

Alexa

johnliu, I enjoy your stories! I definitely want to try the jello shots with marscarpone cheese. lol!

What about kamikazes?! yum. :O)

Oyster shooters - that used to be my favorite drink. There was a sushi place in at the foothills of the Angeles Crest. We knew the senior sushi chef well enough that he never asked us what we wanted, and we never told him. Sit down, and unexpected, intensive, surprising things arrive. He liked having customers who would eat absolutely anything. Such as the shrimp tail, so fresh that the shrimp's legs and antennae were still moving on your plate, until it was whisked away, dipped in boiling oil, and returned to join its rear end in your tummy. Mmm.

Anyway, we always ended the evening with a round of oyster shooters. I recall small sweet oysters, sake, tobiko, thin sliced scallions, a drop of chili sauce, and maybe a drop of sesame oil? I think I'd like to have one again, of course I'd like to be thirty in Southern California again too, but I can have the oyster shooter.

Back to the water tasting idea. I think it would be a fun way to get everyone to hydrate well. But I'm really more of a tap water person myself, so I need guidance. If I asked you to participate in a water tasting, would you think "this guy is a total tool" or "not again, tasting water is so pass�"? Is there really enough difference between different brands of sparkling and still water to interest you?

For one Halloween many years ago, I made Puppy Poop, Mudslide jello shots formed in half sphere ice cube trays. To serve, I lined a platter with fake grass and made piles of "Puppy Poop" and garnished with a toy dog. Disgusting yes, delicious yup. Sick sense of humor...yup. They were the hit of the party along with the severed finger cocktail hot dogs. Go figure.

LOL, moosemac.

John, I'm a tap water person too, my tap water comes right out of the same aquafer that Ice Mountain bottled water does, the plant is just a few miles from me.

I think the water tasting would be fun, it might disprove my theory that water is water and we're foolishto buy our own water back in bottles, requiring petroleum to manufacture and more costs and resources in shipping when I can just turn on the faucet. So prove me wrong!

Of course, I'm also one of those weird people who drink a lot more water than they ever would alcohol co I'm probably in the minority.

Annie

honestly, I think a water tasting would be interesting and fun. I'm tempted to hold one! "Bring your favorite water, enough to serve XXX"... I say go for it. I'd love a review!!