my struggle with apartment noise

16 years ago

So as the title indicates, I'm having some problems with noise in my apartment, however contrary to the usual posts I have been labeled as the noise-maker.....

A bit of back story, I first moved out of my house when I was 19. By this time I had already been working full time for a year, saved enough to buy my own car, and enough to put a deposit down on a place to live. I moved into an apartment on the top floor of a three family house and proceeded to have all of my friends over constantly, throw large loud parties all the time, and play my guitars however loud i wanted whenever I wanted. But hey, I was 19 years old, first taste of freedom etc, and beyond that nobody ever seemed to care. In fact my downstairs neighbor (late 20's working professional) quite enjoyed the music and even came to some of the parties. Anyways, two years later that building was sold and all of the tenants moved out.

I moved into a new apartment (in a managed community) and have been there ever since, now going on my third year. I admit, when I first moved in I was still in that loud party mentality since it never failed me before and got off to a rather rocky start with my neighbor. I say neighbor instead of the plural because out of the 3 neighbors I have directly near me, only one has any problems with me. The other two are around my age and have never been bothered by any of my actions. Nor is the offended neighbor a family man or elderly, he is just a run of the mill single, middle aged man. Anyway, I quickly realized that the way I was living was not going to fly in this place and have since toned everything down. I no longer have parties, i don't invite people over anymore, i save the guitars for times when i know he isnt home or on weekend afternoons, and so on and so on. In fact in the past three years I have matured quite a bit and no longer have any desire for a loud environment, I truly just want to live in peace with this guy but it seems though that no matter WHAT i do, it's never enough and he just finds something new to complain about....

First it was I had too many people coming over which I stopped.

Then it was instruments/music which i solved by never turning on my amp.

then it was my acoustic guitar was too loud so i cut back to only a few hours on the weekend

then it was my computer games were too loud so i bought headphones

then it was my television is too loud (which i know for a fact it is not)

Meanwhile, he comes in quite late at night (midnight -1am) and usually proceeds to stamp around upstairs until at least 3am most nghts, sometimes to the point that it actually wakes me up. but when I mention this to the management they just think i'm upset and trying to get revenge and disregard me. Also, I think it's important to mention that not ONCE in three years has this neighbor come downstairs and mentioned any of this to me in person or asked me to turn something down. The only way I know about this is the angry calls i get from the management office every couple months with some new claim of disturbing the peace. But how can I know there's a problem when nobody tells me??? And if I truly am such a disturbance how come I live in a unit with 3 neighbors inside a building with over 20 apartments and only ONE person has a problem with me???

Now he's complained so many times that the management is thinking of evicting me!!! I feel like I'm at my wit's end, I understand people want a reasonable level of peace and quiet in their homes and I'm not some arrogant kid who just wants to party and not care about his neighbors. But this is starting to get insane, I mean why do i pay over a thousand dollars a month for the "privilege" of living somewhere that has the same noise expectations you might expect in a mausoleum??

I suppose what I'm trying to ask is

a) am i really being that unreasonable???

b) how on earth can I live with this guy and still have a pulse??

c) does anyone know of any places to live or resources specifically for younger people or just people who WANT a noise-tolerant place???

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (5)

angel47630
16 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I think it is great that you have realized that nobody can live with you the way you WERE living and I commend you for changing.

I think what has happened is that you probably annoyed this neighbor so bad with the thoughtless way you behaved previously that he is just now way past tolerating you at all and everything you do is magnified ten times over just because he doesn't like you anymore. It is so hard when you are a previous loud, noisy person who had no regard for others. I realize you have seen the error of your ways, but the fact is, it may be just to late for this guy to ever give you a chance.

Again, as a tenant in an all adult area.........thanks for realizing that your behavior was ruining the peace that everyone is entitled too and hopefully you could at least offer this guy an apology and tell him you realize you were wrong?

best wishes
Nirvana9
12 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
As has been mentioned, have you actually talked to this man and apologised for your previous behaviour?

Although it's clear you are sorry (as you've changed) he might not know that, and might think you're just coming up with different ways to annoy him each time he complains about something else.

And; it's very difficult to ascertain how much of the noise we're making can be heard elsewhere. Perhaps your TV doesn't sound loud to you, but maybe it's next to a really thin wall and he can hear it really well.

Either way, talking to him and perhaps trying to build some sort of relationship (if you haven't tried already) definately sounds like the easiest solution.
Related Discussions
Our neighbors hate us because my wife is a noise complainer
Q
Comments (13)
moonshadow - while I appreciate the very 80's concept of independence, I've found that a mature relationship does involve a certain amount of responsibility for one another-even if it's something as simple as me getting my husband out of bed on time in the morning, or him reminding me to pick up after myself in the garden. on another level, there are plenty of people out there who only thrive when they have some sort of control placed on them...and very often, they marry people who either do, or do not satisfy that need in them. it sounds like the lass would be a bit less anxious if someone was paying more careful attention to her, instead of just letting her run roughshod over everyone? and the simple truth is that since he is being affected by his wife's behavior on both a personal level, and on a social level in his community, I think that as a responsible adult, then yes - it is his place to call his wife on her actions.
...See More
Excessive Apartment Noise, Is there anything I can do?
Q
Comments (10)
I'm miserable. I signed a lease this July, and some new neighbors (really not sure how many), moved in above me around the 5th of 7th of September. I sensed something odd about them when about 10 pm on one of those days, I saw a man, and a teenaged boy and girl each carrying a large green garbage bag quickly upstairs. Long story short, the man is obviously unemployeed and is there all day. There is a woman who has a routine of someone who works; she has a evening shift. The teenage boy will ring the bell, but isn't always let it in by the man upstairs in the apartment(I guess he waits until the woman/mother arrives?)...I've seen him sit on the front steps and wait. The teenaged girl shows up once in a while, but does not stay. It appears that the woman is the lease holder, with her full name on the mailbox/bell. This is a one bedroom apartment bldg. I can hear them constantly walking, bumping and dropping large objects onto the floor above my head..I can even hear the man snoring. When I approached the man (because he's always there), he said he wasn't doing anything... and sneared at me. The next time something felt like it threatened to come through the ceiling, I told the super, who went upstairs and spoke to him. I actually heard him say to the super "I ain't doing nothing, I'm poor", after the super told him that he would have to be quiet if he wanted to stay here (?). The super later told me that there is a slew of pillows on the floor and no furniture. To date, they still have no furniture. They have a radio, and play it loud enough in the day, to be heard in the hallway by other tenants. Every apt is occupied in this building. Until they arrived, the only time I have been aware of anyone else in the building is when people are coming or going. I know that because I am underneath them, I hear more than anyone else in the building, and I am not sure if the young lady across from them or the couple above them is dealing with as much...or has even complained. I have contacted the super on several occasions when I just could not stand it anymore, and each time he would call them, they would quiet down for a moment. One evening they continued the noise, including a hand held vaccum cleaner,that they rub against the floor, until 5 in the morning. I was so upset and groggy, that I contacted the super again, who said they were "crazy" and suggested I contact the landlord. When I did, the management office asked about my previous complaints and they said that they would send them a letter from management and alert the direct person for the building. That was last week. I'm not sure if a letter was sent,and they just don't care...or the landlord could care less, and never sent a letter. I think I have been reasonable, I now know that the building is not sound, I'm not dinging someone for walking to the bathroom, or having visitors (which is really bad)..I even find myself turning up the television, so I don't have to hear the constant walking...but the attitude and inconsiderate behavior is really wearing on me. A house is out of the question and I just signed this lease. Not sure what to do. It's only October.
...See More
What is reasonable noise in an apartment/condo?
Q
Comments (8)
Hmm that's a tough one because there are a lot variables that go into it. What type of noise and when. There are also a lot of issues that (to me) are more bothersome than noise. Also apartment living is about compromise and consideration. Don't make or allow loud irritating noises especially at off hours (8pm-8am ish) and hopefully your neighbours are just as considerate. Our first apartment was probably a better community noise-wise. In our first apartment we were on the 3rd floor and the couple below us would fight so loudly that it would wake me up 3-5 times a week. Screaming yelling and also throwing things and (I'm speculating) punching the walls. The walls would shake in our apartment above them. Because of the nature of the noise I complained about them frequently and called the cops on numerous occasions. When they were evicted the landlord mentioned to me that the apartment was so damaged she was not surprised that I could hear/feel it. After the fighting couple was the second couple- the woman who was very sweet and the man who was slightly less agreeable. They had a yappy puppy who would bark endlessly whenever they left it alone. It wasn't so bad during the day but when they would go out for date night (2-3 times a month) he would yap during the same times I was putting my oldest (then not quite 2) to sleep. The yapping would wake him up every 20 minutes or so until they came back. I just talked to them about it and we agreed that they would keep him in his crate on the opposite corner of the house when they went out. Worked fine for us. However, afterwards the couple (obviously soured) was very quick to complain or bang on the walls if we did anything loud. Once I dropped something out of the fridge and they banged on the wall for like 30 seconds. There wasn't much other noteworthy noises at that complex- we lived there for 3 years. The people who are currently next to us (we share bedroom walls) have a young baby who cries a couple times throughout the night. I don't see this as an issue because it's not like the baby cries endlessly for hours and even if the baby did I would probably just switch bedrooms so that were not next to them. That is not something I would complain about. That is apart of community living in my opinion. The people cati-corner and on the second floor ( so not directly above us but above and over one) have a large hound dog who they frequently leave only on the patio. It bays ENDLESSLY. She starts up about 5 am when the army guys are going to work and ends around 7am and does it sporadically throughout the day as people come and go. Because they practically let the dog live out there(food, water, kennel) it shows (at least to me) that they aren't making a real effort to stop the dog from doing it. So that is something I would complain about. You also have to take into considerations people's schedules. The lady upstairs is a 1st shift worker so she is up around 6pm and then starts her day. Washing machine going, vacuuming etc at 9pm at night. It used to bother me until I realized why she did all this stuff late at night. However she does not do anything loud later than that. So all and all I think it's acceptable noise as long as it's not outrageous and the person make a conscious effort to be considerate of the community. I don't think it's ok to have a loud party at all in an apartment. That is not fair to your neighbours. That is not something that is everyday life and is avoidable. Our neighbours have their parties at our clubhouse, they have a large indoor space, access to a kitchen, bathroom and also all the amenities. The clubhouse is not near any buildings and doesn't disturb anyone even if the music is loud. I think that is perfectly fine ( and I am the closest building). Something that I am less likely to be understanding about and complain quickly is actually how people care for community areas. People not picking up dog waste, trash, cleaning out their car and leaving the trash in the parking lot. We also have a little group of kids who destroy areas of the complex which is really aggravating. They take trash from the dumpsters and throw them down the hill where they end up in the overflow for the lake. Its nasty. Especially when they get into the trash from remodeled apartments( fridge pieces, toilets etc). They also tear down pieces of the playground, dock etc. Long response I know! I had a lot to say on the subject lol!
...See More
Whistle noise in Apartment coming from AC unit above bathtub?
Q
Comments (6)
Furdown air handler is very old system, they use water to chill in early years, now we are using mini split which uses freon to chill (much better than water). either way, that box contains a evaporator coil and a blower fan(also some heating element in the old furdown unit)
...See More
love.God.love.people
12 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I came to this site because I wanted to know how easy it was to hear neighbors in apartments, because I wanted to see if there are any no-noes of apartment living. Now I live in an apartment and things are quiet for the most part. I hear peoples dogs, and children playing, but it's normal and I actually enjoy the background noise.

Unfortunately I am seeing on forums a constant trend of people complaining about the noise their neighbors are making, and most of these complaints (such as the example from the author) are of noises so trivial. We all chose to live in an apartment building, we already knew we'd be living close to people. So did you all have a fantasy that you wouldn't ever be able to hear them? You blame your neighbors so quickly without relating to them on a human level, try to understand their life as well, and keep in mind that while your getting pissed off at their 'misbehavior' they don't even know that their bothering you in the first place! Your pissed at someone who doesn't realize that their normal lifestyle is keeping you up at night when really you should stop focusing on the little disturbances.

Relax a little, let the little noises go, the occasional door slam forgotten, and even for the neighbors who are INTENTLY and ignorantly being disruptive try to withhold from getting hateful and aggressive towards them and just contact your landlord or the police so they can do their job and help make a more positive change.
veggieturnover
12 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
kinish, so sorry you have to go through this. I feel for you. I too currently live ABOVE neighbors who think my baby's bouncy seat and or my 3year old's daughter prancing around during the middle of the day is disruptive and actually bang on my floor enough to frighten my children. So first, I feel that some of the follow-up posts of some people just don't really make any sense. I'd like to tell those people and your non-peaceful neighbor that when you live with people above and below you, you will HEAR them living their lives doing whatever they so choose to do. THIS is given that you do the above mentioned activities in normal midday hours that would not disrupt someone's SLEEP at night. Why should you not be allowed to play your acoustic? and to ndrewoods above there, what are you talking about??? Personally Kinish, I would post your message on a different website forum where people will be more understanding of your lifestyle and concerns. As for possibly getting evicted, this is a very difficult situation. Personally and I know it would be difficult to do, but you would either need to wait out what just might happen and risk being evicted or move to another place. I would choose the latter. But just so you know I feel for you!
User
12 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Where are your receipts for the head phones? Show them to the management, it's clear proof that you have been trying to decrease your noise. You might get a copy of landlord tenant rules and regulations for your state or county. get a microphone and recorder or use the computer, and record the complaining neighbor's noise when he comes in late at night. It sounds like he's as noisy as you, but may be breaking noise laws in your town. Look that up too. Back your self up with talks with your other neighbors, ask them to write out a statement of your noise they experience, take to management. Keep copies for your self. Good luck.

my struggle with apartment noise

Comments (5)

angel47630

Nirvana9

Related Discussions

love.God.love.people

veggieturnover

User

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US