Ok I'm on a roll....the tank we had to our grill was also inside to a portable heater that said ONLY for outside use.
They also had our generator that used up our fuel. WTF? I don't know what to say???

amaqan - I know how you feel ... been there, done that.

I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but that's the way it goes when you lend out your gear. The best defense you can have for your personal feelings is to expect that will happen when you lend it out; and when it doesn't you will feel so much better when you get it back! Then when it does come back in shoddy shape you wou't have so far to fall, emotionally!

It finally boils down to one of two things: (A) you simply do not lend your "stuff" out. (B) if you do, expect this to happen every now and again.

(Don't you just hate to get this kind of feed-back!)

Dale

Amaqan,
The thing that bothers me the most is the smoking part, especially if you don"t smoke. Smokers just don't realize the smell that goes along with their habit, sorry guys!! I wouldn't lend my stuff out again if it were me unless I was part of the trip and could supervise what goes on during the trip. Some people don't see anything wrong with being inconsiderate, or worse yet don't think it was. Chalk it up to one of life's lessons and learn from it.
Lynda

I feel for you. I hate lending things for that reason, will they treat your things like you do? The last thing I lent was to my mother, it was an electric grill, she needed it to demonstrate in a store. It was 5 years old and they still made that model. Part of her sales pitch was "this is 5 years old, used regularily and shows that if you use the right utensils with it, it won't scratch". She used it to cook meat and told a staff member that the last piece was for them. She came back to find them cutting the meat up with a serrated knife while it was still on the grill. The grill was scratched to pieces. She went off her head and got the answer back "well you said it was 5 years old". Her boss gave her a brand new grill to give to me.

Or the pot I took a cake to my In-laws in, when I finally get it back I get told that they don't know how the massive chip got taken out of it because it hadn't been used by them. You'd think they would have washed off the bread bag that was melted on the side, a sure sign that the pot had been used in the oven and was very hot when placed against the bag. The only time I had used that pot was to carry a cake in it, the hottest thing it had ever been touched by was tapwater. I wasn't worried that it was chipped it was the being lied to that @#$% me.

I rarely borrow for the same reason. One time it cost me $70 to repair a borrowed sewing machine that died while I used it. I asked the mechanic why it died, he told me that it wasn't anything I had done, it had seized up because of misuse by the owner and just happened to have chosen the day I had it to do so.

My father once told me your should lend your tools with the same frequency that your lend your wife.
I took it to heart and included everything.
Bob

The grass widow across the road had a tree blow down, so her son asked if he could use my chain saw! Now, his car looked like he had used it in 'Nam during the war there, so i told him no, i'd do it for them, but i don't loan out my tools! Well, he insisted he'd take care of it, but i told him, if he wanted to use a chain saw so bad, to go buy one for himself, and saw away! I don't know where he borrowed one, but they never asked to borrow anything again from me!
I have only two friends among many who have ever borrowed tool from me, and i from them, and we keep a "Weep-sheet" with name and phone number, day of borrow, and when to take it back!
then, i loaned out a small auto body grinder, and when i got it back, i couldn't keep the discs on it! they'd fly right off as soon as i'd pull the trigger! that guy had burnt up the brushes, put in new ones, but wired it backwards, so it ran backwards!
so, the moral of the story is this: DON'T loan out anything!! If somebody wants something of yours, just tell them to get it where you got yours!
by: Rustyj

I think if you didn't establish "rules" up front, you can't expect they'll be followed. And if you DID have some "do's" and "don'ts" established but they were ignored, then I guess you've learned who not to share your stuff with.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be" is the old expression.

Thanks for all the replies. You are all right and I knew that befor I ever wrote. There is our old camper ( that was good enough for us the last 4 years) still up there and I mentioned to them I have a new futon mattress I bought for it last year. I had let them know they could stop here and get it befor going up ( hoping they'd figure out where they were sleeping) but they never did. I hate the thought of others sleeping on new bedding, pillows ect..that I havn't even slept on....let alone their dog.
Not to mention when we did stop in they feed one of their daughters without even offering us lunch. Yet the week befor I supplied soda,dogs,chips,snacks,smores, ice ect....
Live and learn the hard way. And yes, my feelings were hurt.
Last night she Im and wanted to know if we were going up this weekend as they both had Monday off. Either I plan to go up and "set the space" or dance for rain. Either way I have planning to do!

We've learnt about loaning tools, especially to the MIL. When we need them we have to go over to get them and a lot of the time she's lent it on to someone else, who's then lent it on. Took 3 years to get a router back, only used once by the time we got it back it was RS. Had bought a new one in the meantime.

What Bob said about lending your wife reminded me of a woman whining that her child wouldn't share all of his toys, he would happily share everything but his favourite one so she would force him to. Someone told her that he should not be forced to share his favourite, afterall somethings should never be shared. The same person asked her if she would expect him to share his wife when he grew up LOL.

A year later and dreading camping. UGH.
I WILL have to put my foot down this year or go crazy. Our friends got their own truck tent and we let them make our smaller camper set up for their two teen girls. So our space is some what settled. They do still seem to think they have an open invite.
We also put in a "semi septic"last fall...and don't want it to have alot of use and paper.
I don't want other dogs at camp as it can confuse my dogs.
I don't want people buying me a new battery for my 4 wheeler because they think they saved my life and have unlimited use of sons 4 wheeler.
The camper was left a mess after hunting...trash,soda ottles, beer bottles ect.... am mad hubby let his friend leae that mess...knowing he had planned to clean it befor I saw it. Thats no one special.

So, have you planned what the rules are this year? You kinda have to. My brother joined me on my week at a wilderness remote camping site and I knew when it was over that if it ever happens again there will have to be rules. Like, who cooks what meals, and who does what, because it was my vacation but I ended up catering to him the entire time. He wouldn't lift a hand to help unless I asked him and then it was halfheartedly. Kind of reminds me of your situation. You really need to think of your family. If a vacation is not relaxing and stress reducing to you then what use is it really? Set down your rules now!

Sounds like no big deal since they asked and you said yes. Smoke odors and pet odors can be washed and aired out. I'd say lighten up, but maybe that's not fair since you know best what the situation is.

Sounds frustrating!
As a non-smoker who purchased a heavily smoke in 5th wheel last year, I know that it's actually really difficult to get that smell out. We spent 3 full days last fall going through it, scrubbing every surface, removing & washing seat covers, blinds, shampooing carpet, etc. I went out there a few days ago, and it still stinks. I don't think most smokers realize how bad that stale smoke hangs around.

My suggestion would be, like Jen said, to have a set of rules. Make up a sheet with a few (try to keep it under 10) general quidelines for use when you aren't there and then leave it in a highly visible place, such as on the table. Make it friendly and short so that you don't come across as being picky and hopefully people will respect your request.

Ie:
Hello Friends, I hope you enjoy your stay here. There are a few guidelines we would appreciate being followed:

No smoking inside please.

We have recently installed a semi-septic system, but would appreciate useage and paper kept to a minimum.

Please leave the camper and site as you found it. There are (garbage bags under the sink, cans out back) for trash and recycling. The broom is (in the closet). Please feel free to give it a quick sweep before you leave.

Then the only request you have to make, when people ask to use it, is "please leave your pets at home." (No point putting it on the note because by the time they get there it's too late.)

If you are letting people use your camper, it is an act of generosity. Anyone who won't respect a few basic guidelines doesn't deserve to use it.

Clear communication of what's expected will help your guest know how they need to behave, and will hopefully save you a lot of frustration.

Good luck. It's very nice of you to be willing to lend out your camper/campsite to your friends and hubby's hunting buddies.

Verenap...will use your letter almost word for word :) was very direct yet friendly, something I lose when mad.

tplife...I couldn't lighten up any more, I really believe I am a very giving friend. I gave them a place to stay, camper for their daughters, unlimited fire wood, grill, fire pit, my house (a mile from camp to shower)use of my washer, gas from grill, gas from grill they used for their heater, alot of food and drink as they never pack enough for them ( let alone they have NEVER cooked a meal for us...yet they have had MANY Easter and Thanksgivings here) They will show up with 1...1 ! 12 pack of soda to last 4 of them Friday night - Sunday afternoon!!
Gosh, I am still made over the last few years...I best go write a note similar to Verenap's!

Okay...if these are your husband's best (good)friends, maybe your issue is more with him, than with them. What redeeming qualities make them that? I'd try to focus on that and forget loaning out your stuff! Just a thought...

As for loaning tools, you could ask for a deposit from the person who borrowed the tool, equal to the value of a new replacement tool. When they return the tool, they get their deposit back.

When I was married we loaned $1000 to my wife's brother, who I would not consider an especially responsible person. So I was surprised that he paid us back when he said he would.

If I don't know someone well, like a neighbor, I try to estimate how responsible they are. I look and see how many kids they had out of wedlock, how well-kept their house is (I don't look at cleanliness but rather how well do they make repairs), and how well-behaved their kids are. If their kids are brats, there's about a 95% chance they are irresponsible and inconsiderate parents.

Oh yeah. Asking for a deposit is the easiest way to tell if someone is responsble. If they don't want to pay the deposit, they don't want to be responsible for their own actions, and you don't loan them the tool.

And no, it doesn't matter if it's family. Family can be just as irresponsible.