Pycnogenol is a powerful anti-oxidant (patented) made from the extract of pine trees that grow in the south of France. The manufacturer has sponsored studies on it and according to the studies it relieves many kinds of pain, including period cramps (which I suffer from badly) -- so I tried it and it really works for me. I was taking a lot of motrin for the pain during my periods and now I don't need to. So last night I thought, maybe it will help me for this bug I caught ... and maybe it did, who knows? I buy it from the health food store, I just get the cheapest kind I can find there. It's supposed to be similar to grape seed extract, which I haven't tried.

Bless you, Stephanie in Ga, for your concern for these recently-arrived neighbours in their sorrow and for how best to express your concern. How about just going over, ringing the doorbell, and when they answer, to express your concern and empathy for them in their sorrow? If you feel so drawn to, especially if it's the mother and she seems to be accepting your kindness in a certain way, maybe to open your arms to offer a hug. After the initial discussion, how about saying that you'd considered taking up a neighbourhood collection, or offering food on a rotating basis, assuring them that your desire was to offer whichever service would be most meaningful/helpful to them? Greetings Sue VA, I feel distressed that you were so troubled by the generous gift from your neighbours/friends on the death of your husband. Sometimes the huge pain of death of a loved one causes us to react to events in unusual ways, and I regret that you laid this extra suffering on yourself at that time: you had enough to contend with as it was. Almost certainly their gift indicated their desire to express their sincere concern at your time of sorrow and pain, not to judge that you were needy. Sometimes, it seems to me, we are more willing to offer a gift to others than to accept one graciously when it is sincerely offered to us. Is it a function of our desire to be independent, to pick up our own marbles, to not need to depend on others for anything, I wonder? You spoke of the difficulty of forgiving them ... and I am wondering ... what was there to forgive? They had expressed their concern, in what they felt to be an appropriate way, a tangible one, in a good, generous spirit. Whatever the reason ... I am sorry that it has caused so much hurt and trouble for you ... and for so long! Is it still troubling your heart? Have you talked it over/out with a counsellor? If it is, I hope that you will consider doing that ... please get this painful boil on your back lanced, so that it can heal and the pain be gone! Life is too short to carry around a load of pain like that ... especially when quite a few would consider it largely unnecessary, I think. I hope that you will not consider what I have said as criticism of you ... it is intended only as regret at the way that you chose to react to this event in your life and the resultant pain that it has caused. Good wishes to you during the coming days. ole joyful

now that you have the latin name.. use it.. it should make searching much more rewarding ... and then try the houseplant forum ... just looking at it.. it looks like it is the type of plant that would root in a glass of water.. but that is a guess ... add the word 'propagation' to the latin name .. and away you go ... ken

It is interesting to hear all the nuances around this subject. Growing up in a military family oddly enough funerals were not in my experience. Deceased soldiers are sent home. Relatives are far far away. What I have experienced in adulthood is everyone brings a card either to the viewing or the funeral, not both even if attending both. If not attending; sympathy cards are mailed. Money is COMMONLY enclosed in these cards. It doesn't matter what the obituary suggested people will do what is EASIEST and that is enclosing the memorial donation with the sympathy card. This leaves the family free to do with it what works FOR THEM. To expect people to send two cards one for the family one to the church is very unusual in my experience. Perhaps life isn't as formal here? I have never thought about the idea of sending multiple cards to family members. I think one card addressed to all is sufficient but of course sending a separate more personal card to a family member you are very close to would never be wrong. Immediate family of some configuration typically gather and go through all the cards for thanking purposes so all see the main card. Gifts are noted and decisions on distribution are made at this time. Not all families have money for the funeral which are INSANELY expensive. I find to give w/o direction as to where the money will go seems easiest for the family to deal with. The reality of what to do with all the cards/guest book/extras is something to think about when sending these cards. When my in-laws died we distributed boxes and boxes of family photos/slides to each sibling to condense/put on DVD/redistribute. No one has followed through and I for one would love to DUMP the box we have. I don't know who got the joy of being the keeper of the sympathy cards etc...but I am guessing they are taking up space better used for anything else. Again 20 years of military life-keeping things--just to move them across country every two years-- is just not in my wheel house.