GOTCHA!! I see the whole picture here! Thank you all for your imput! It is very understandable and I see things a lot clearer now. Choosing non-married couples makes sense for a lot of reasons. I am no longer miffed and will be very supportive. Actually, I am kind of glad it happened this way because it will allow my fiance a better understanding of the relationship I have with my own god daughter. He is such a wonderful partner and father, that any child he is able to have an intimate relationship with would be truly blessed anyway. No - I am not Catholic, but the rest of my family is. To Carla35 - Yes I do know what it means to be a God Parent. I am a God mother to my best friends' daughter. We baptized our son last July so I am very familiar with the Catholic religions practices regarding God parents and the sacrament of baptism. To Colleenoz - My fiance's neices and nephews not calling me aunt doesn't bother me. I used it as an example for you all to better understand my relationship with the children. It is up to their parents and them as to what they call me and if they ever decide to even call me "aunt". Also - we DO have tentative wedding dates set for either November 1st or 8th of 2008. We plan to marry in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Thank you all for your comments!

I'm writing to keep myself in check, that I do everything that needs doing today. I haven't hardly done anything the past 3 days after work. Last night, DD and I went out to dinner and for a walk along the dyke. We had a really nice time out together. I should have mentioned that DD's disability is a neuropathy of the digestive system which happened because of her life long diabetes type 1. She has to live with constant chronic pain while trying to manage her very brittle diabetes. Most days, she cannot eat but on the odd day she feels well enough to try to eat. Last night was one of those nights. Before supper, we went to a couple of furniture stores, just to look. My mind is made up about my dining room set - it's got to go. We saw an espresso table with a butterfly leaf (and chairs) that was pretty small, oval shaped, so it will fit sooooo much better in a small condo. Seeing that table put everything in focus for me. I didn't buy it but I will, I think, if I get this condo. I had been fretting about the stereo equipment and speakers. DD is engaged but her fiance doesn't live here. The marriage could be in a couple of years. She said that she wouldn't be able to buy the quality of the 2nd set that I was going to sell so we decided to store it for her. If there's room in her bedroom, she could use it now. She wants to keep my computer desk for now so maybe that's not going to be for sale, either. In return, she's almost made the decision to sell her large all wooden dresser. So, I am selling a big screen TV, dining room set, professional 5-drawer filing cabinet, king-size bedroom set (might give this away), washer & dryer, hardly used elliptical machine, carpet shampooer (used twice), sideboard (credenza) - not sure what people call it here, an end table, tools, etc. I might sell DD's dresser, desk, teak cabinet that holds stereo equipment, a table that goes behind a couch and a 4-shelf metal shelving unit that I had bought for the kitchen here to hold the microwave, etc. that perhaps could be used in a storage locker to hold boxes. There's also some lamps I might sell. I also have 4 large drawers of wires that DH would never let me throw out but I did keep organizing them. I have no idea if I should just throw it all in a bag and put it in the garbage or should I show people and let them take it. Some of the wiring is very expensive but DS says that in the past decade, even wires have changed. I still have boxes of books that might be worth something, music DVD's and CD's to sell as well as unopened expensive puzzles and models to sell. We decided that after we move, we'll figure out which ones are worth something and put them on E-Bay. I was going to try to find a CD store that would just take them all at hopefully $1 or $2 a piece but DD knows that DH had purchased quite a few from overseas that were very hard to find and were not cheap. It's worth waiting on these. I could always drag them to a store to get rid of. So today, I have to pack the stereos. I don't know if the speakers need packing. I also need to pack or throw out odds & ends from various surfaces around the house, move the boxes for future selling to one room, pack my night table (which I'd already gone through), do laundry, move the sideboard to the living room where I'd already put the dining room table and chairs, start sorting out clothes, etc. for taking with us while the stuff's in storage, pack up the bathroom (already sorted into containers), etc. So, these are the things I MUST tackle today. But I'm sitting at the computer not wanting to end this entry because I know I'll have to shut down the computer for at least a few hours while I get to it. Wish me luck!

Oh gosh, I'm sorry! I keep forgetting most areas don't have summer kitchens. Most homes that have a summer kitchen are old. This house was built in 1850. Back in those days, without the luxury of moderen heating and AC, some homes would have two kitchens. In the winter they would use the kitchen that was located in the house so the heat from cooking would help keep the house warm. In the summer to help keep the house cool they would use the summer kitchen. Some are attached off the back of the house and others are seperated by a breeze way. Now days they seem to become junk magnets.lol Mine is seperate from the house as you can see in this photo. BTW that is a before picture. I have since cleaned up that area and painted the summer kitchen. Foxy.

Wow, actually I have alot to say on this issue. First is she the Only child between the ex and him? and how long have you had custody of her? The youngest of my three step-daughters had much of the same behaviors when my husband and I married. She had been the "Baby" in the house and suddenly she had other siblings younger than her. She began acting horribly, and my husband like most men is easily manipulated by little girls.. True some of the behaviors could be associated with certain disorders... However I have found through all of the psycho-babble that even children with mental issues can and will be manipulative and decieving if their behavior gets them what they want. For example your SD may have wanted Daddy (he was at work) She throws a fit, and whallah Daddy takes her out the next day just her and him... I agree that this only reaffirmed her actions. Now had he told her "I had planned on us doing something together today, but because of your actions it will have to wait for another time." That may have nipped it in the bud... She got exactly what she wanted and completly underminded your authority. Has she seen a counselor and therapist? I would definately reccomend this, but also good old fashioned discipline... You need to sit down with your husband and tell him your honest opinions and feelings on the situation. Tell him you are stressed out. Together come up with certain disciplines and make him stick to them. We have six children in our home and I run it like a military boot camp... in the aspect that there is a certain time we do certain things. STRUCTURE is important in children's lives exspecially those with "issues". As soon as we stopped rewarding the bad behaviors and in turn rewarding the good ones, we saw significant improvements in our youg daughter's case. The next time she acts like a baby REFUSE to acknowledge her at all. Think about it, If a baby is spoiled they cry correct and the only way to break the habit is to allow them to cry sometimes. The same rings true with your SD. You spending all that time and energy on her tantrum also reaffirmed her actions. She had you sole attention for how long? I would refuse to even acknowledege my SD's outburst, I would continue what I was doing, or would join the other children watching a movie. If she entered the room still raging I would escort her to her room and say "I'm sorry only big girls get to stay up and watch movies, you are obviously a baby so you must stay in your room." After a few times of missed movies she would quiet down and come out of her room like nothing had happened. Also key if she stops the bad behavior and rejoins the family, DO NOT DOTE on her. Simply say "I'm glad you came out to sit with us. Do not mention the bahavior or say anything about her being good for stopping it! This will only give her the response she is seeking... Ignore the behavior not the child... If you ignore the behavior and she doesn't get the response she wants she will stop it. Also if several days/ or weeks go by with no outburst be sure to tell her you notice how well behaved she has been and you appreciate it. No matter what do not respond to her outburst in any way... I can tell you from experience that this is an attention seeking behavior and the child doesn't care if it is negative attetion or positive. It is the attention she wants, it is your job and your husbands to teach her how to properly get it.