Thanks everyone! I really don't think the male was just being scarce. I had been watching this pair for a week and a half before they started laying eggs. I would always see them together and I would always see both of them. If the female was in the nestbox, Dad sat outside watching. For all four eggs (being laid) Dad was there. If I went near the box I got scolded by both the male and the female. Then that one day as I was watching Mom just acted funny and that was when I realized I hadn't seen the male. Today was day five of not seeing him. I realized I could have missed him when watching but I really think if he had been around when I went down there he would of scolded me too, not just the mom. Now an update from today. I was watching and I saw a male BB! Watched them for a LONG time, lots and lots of wing waving going on by both but mostly the male. Mom would go in the nestbox, peek back out and then fly to the male who was in a tree near it, then she would go back in. She did stay in after awhile also and the male went to the nestbox at one point and peeked in. I went down during this and set some crickets out. Mom immediately went down to eat, male just watched and wing waved. When I went down there mom scolded me, the male did not. I think this is a new male but I guess I won't know for sure unless the eggs hatch and I find out if he feeds them or not, either that or if he gets her to start a new nest. What do you think?? I am going to post this question in a new thread too as I am curious what everyone thinks as to if this is a new male or not. Does wing waving happen during incubation by an established couple?? Donna

I call my in-laws by their first names. they asked me if that would be OK when we got married, and I was very relieved. I would not even consider calling them mom or dad, because for me, it would feel like a betrayal to my parents in my heart. think if you were in a situation in which you were divorced and your husband remarried someone that you either couldn't stand or were jealous of. and your children started calling her mom. I would think that would be painful. so in that same thought process, I wonder how our parents feel to hear their adult children calling someone else mom or dad. Actually, I would like to hear from those whose adult children are married. Would it bother you to hear your adult son/daughter call someone else mom or dad?

I'm high ranked in mcgill. I know very well what i am talking about. ANd Canadian education is not the same as American. Its not hard to get an A/A-/B+ as you put it. THe grading system is Completely different. There are schools in the states that are of the highest order. They are amazing. But not all students attend some of the best schools. And i really hate to give you more light on this subject but many Mcgill applicants with A- have been rejected due to quota and other admission issues. Its a business ladies. Remember. I say its not hard to get in because i see alot of smart students. Alot , many who apply to mcgill have these high marks. Trust me, i know. The only thing wrong with parents paying for college and university is if the child expects it kkny. Dont twist my words ladies. I dont think its wrong for parents to help their children BUT they have to work partime, they have to not expect it because they are the chidl and that is my parent. And i would help my child in university as long as they have a part time job and they're grades are high. I've seen a few cases not only in concordia but in mcgill and two other institutes where the poor parents pay and the kid goofs, while having his cell phone and car paid for by said parents. Its RIDICULOUS! Parents in this society must draw the line and how they raise their kids now adays. These kids will the futur and this entitlement must be changed. Now we have gone off topic and we can discuss schools and politics all we like. In the end, after being part of this forum for almost 10 years, ladies you are beating the same horse from a different angle. Kkny you still have your chip on your shoulder against SM Obviously me being one will get your knickers in a fancy. Lets not forget i was also a stepchild. I know both fences. As for tone, i'm not the one who 's bitter and jealous in my situ. good day ladies.

Certainly, the posters who say that for safety the child ought to be in the back seat are correct. And just as certainly, the posters who comment that the real issue here doesn't seem to be child safety, but the competition between the stepmother and the stepdaughter, are just as correct. The OP posted this on the Stepfamily forum, not a child safety forum, and her post does indeed seem to indicate that her concern is about family issues. She didn't even mention safety. What she DID say: "I feel that this is her way of letting me know that she's insecure in the re[la]tionship. But what bothers me is that it makes me feel like I'm being put on the same level as a child ...." THAT'S what the post is about, and it's no answer to say that because children belong in the back, period, there is no issue. Moving the girl to the back seat isn't going to solve the problem of competition for "front place" in Dad/Husband's life. If readers can't get past the diversion of the safety issue, then recast the question to remove the safety issue. Imagine that the poster were driving, and her husband sat in the back with his daughter, or the question were about who sits where at a dinner table or something. I think that both the OP and the daughter have very legitimate feelings here. The little girl had her Daddy, when she did have him, all to herself before. Now she has been moved to the back -- literally. But Dad is entitled to happiness, too, and so is the OP, and certainly she is entitled to feel like she is being treated as an adult. Without the blended family, I suppose the answer is usually, "Kids in back, adults in front; tough luck!" But to do that here, even masking it with the safety concern, just papers over the girl's and woman's very legitimate feelings. She's a kid; she has to ride in back for safety. But I would try to find some other way to shore up her feelings of security in her dad's heart. This will play itself out in other areas of life where they won't be able to play the "safety" trump card. Finally, don't assume this is all due to the remarriage. Even without a blended family, sometimes spouses come first, sometimes children do. That's life. You don't always get your first choice, but you adjust, and it is a lot easier if there is good will and understanding all around. It may not always seem fair to the OP any more than to the child; but she is the adult, and as a stepparent, is also partly responsible for the little girl's emotional growth and well-being now. Maybe sometimes the OP could ride in back with the little girl? Then they have their own bond to share rather than only ever competing for the place by Dad/Husband's side.