You should have your mother make a new will. Estate and prbate laws change all the time.The most important thing you need to do is have her signh powers of attorny, especially for health care You said your brother lives far away so you are going to be the care taker weather he likes it or not. You need the power to handle anything that may come up. I will never understand why most parent make THE son executor. Just because they wear pants dosan't mean thay can walk on water. I lost my mother just a year ago and one of the greatist gift my parent ever gave me is the power and the knowlage of thier affairs to handle everything without having to bother my father those first few monts after the funeral. All the trust papers were in my posission, all the powers in place, they even had pre paid funeral arrangements. It has been the hardest year I have ever had but because of their caring for me they made it easier to deal with. I also have a brother and a sister who are lurking in the wings waiting for the final estate battle. My father was so conserned about this that he recorded the visits with the attorny naming me as the final word, we made copys and sent then to brother and sister and they have been rather nice to me since. I guess what I want to get across to you is to get everythong on the table now befor you need it.One thing that really helped me during my mothers last few months was the authorization papers she signed with all the doctors, medacare, insurance company so I could make phone calls and talk to her doctors. With the new privacy laws you really need them. I have them for my father now and it makes my life easier. Is your brother going to be there to take care of you mother?? Of cource not, you live closer,and that's what daughters are for. Good luck to you

I lost my Dad to Cancer 11 months ago he would have been 67,Since he left I feel scared lost and so alone,it seems like no pain in the world could compare to the pain I go through when im alone in my room and suddenly I have these bursts of images of him in my head.We didnt have the greatest relationship I was always trying to prove myself and always seemed to fail He would create new opportunities for me and no matter how badly i fell flat on my Face he always seemed to say dont worry My boy we will try again.Though he never showed it i knew he wanted something special for me ........... Im so confused now because my patterns haven't changed and im a grown man still but I feel like a little boy lost and all alone and not knowing where to turn because his dad is gone and now facing the world without him is the scariest thought in the world.You know i have had relationship issues and problems in the past and even though he wasnt able to solve them He was my Dad and he was there for me and it comforting, because I was his son and now his gone I dont know where i belong :( my hearts so sore as im writing this the tears are streaming down my cheeks sometimes the pain is so much i feel in my chest ............ i am 37 years old and im a man but you know what I was Allans Son for me that stood for something special I was proud of my Dad though i never always told him We made peace before his quick passing He was so worried about me when he learnt he had cancer How selfless is that I guess in life sometimes our hardest lessons are being learned when The Living arent Here to say its ok My Boy dont worry we will try again

My father was Palestinian and my mother is American. He had some problems that made for a bad family life that got progressively worse. My mother, though she had devoted herself to him 100%, finally decided it was time to leave when I was about 3. They went through a terrible divorce, much of which I remember. My older sister, younger brother, and I, were very attached to our father despite everything. The divorce left a huge hole where he should have been because he moved back to Palestine shortly afterward. Both our mother and father remarried, and we rarely saw him. When we did, it was very emotionally draining because we idealized him so much and pined for him throughout our lives. Every time he left it was terrible for us and for him. For some reason he did not visit us very often. We bonded with him on a 3-week long roadtrip when I was 14. We visited all of our family members in the U.S. and learned something of our culture. We met our little brother from our father's new marriage. We saw him again when I was 18. He surprised me and showed up for my high school graduation from a very difficult science and math boarding school. I remember being extremely overwhelmed upon seeing him. I was shaky and crying, and I didn't know what to do. He stayed for only one night. I think the pain of not having us was too much for him. Anyway, after he left again, he called me and asked me to come to Palestine for the summer to stay with him before coming back and going to college. I didn't even have a passport back then, and my mother was nervous about it, so I said no. He was planning on moving back to the U.S.A. within 6 months, so I was excited to have the chance to finally get to know him. 2 months later he died suddenly of a heart attack. He was 48 at the time, and the youngest of 10 siblings. He was the first to die, and everyone was shocked. I cried when I heard the news. I slept for days. I didn't know what to think. We were unable to attend his funeral in Palestine because it was short notice and we did not have passports. I started college 2 weeks later so I did not have time to deal with the loss. It affected me in strange ways.I had nightmares and cried at seemingly random moments while studying, etc. This is the biggest injustice I can think of, and I don't know why God did this to my siblings and I. It has been 6 years since he died. The pain doesn't go away, and is augmented by the fact that we were waiting our whole lives to be with him and to see him. I have a huge gaping hole where he should be. This is even worse for my older sister, who remembers more and was more attached to him. She dealt with it by getting angry and pushing him away from the beginning. His death still affects me. 6 years have passed and I have never had the chance to deal with it or get closure. My pain is raw. If i ever start thinking of him, it makes me weep. It always has. When he was alive, the ocean was interminable and unsurmountable. Now that I am older and can cross the ocean, he is in a place I cannot touch. I feel that I have nobody to talk to about it. I feel ridiculous for STILL grieving about something that has been sad for me my whole life. Not even my fiance would listen to the whole story. I just stopped telling it because I felt so ridiculous for being so upset over something that happened so long ago. It is so unfair. I used to daydream as a child that he would walk into my classroom and check me out of school. I wish I could cut out that part of my heart. Now my brother is going to visit my 2 younger brothers in Palestine and I am torn whether I should go with him or go visit my fiance (long distance) as planned. Someone should write a sad story about my life. I don't know how to deal with this or who to talk to, but I know that it needs to get resolved.

I have loved reading all the posts and gives me comfort that there are a lot of people who are experiencing the same thing as me. I too miss both my parents, still. My mom died 9 years ago from ovarian cancer and my Dad died 6 years ago after a long battle with renal failure and being on dialysis as a result. I cared for both my parents for years while they were ill. We had always been close and saw each other almost every day of my life. The last few years we all lived together while I was working full time, married and raising two boys. I was so busy with everything that I did not have time to stop and think about what was going to happen when they were gone. I miss them terribly every day and wish I would have just stopped and talked for hours on end to them while they were ill instead of doing the laundry, cleaning the house or grocery shopping or cooking. I am thankful I was able to provide them a safe home to live in and never had to place either one in a nursing home. Both boys are now grown and away from home, my husband works out of town a lot and recently my Uncle (my Mom's brother) has moved in with us after having several mini strokes and can no longer live alone. This has brought back the memories of caring for my Mom and Dad and makes me miss them more and more. I still work full time and this was a huge adjustment as my husband & I were just getting used to being empty nesters and had begun taking trips. We have adjusted accordingly and I am thankful once again that I am able to give my Uncle the care he needs without going to a nursing home. Grief can only be dealt on a day to day basis. Sometimes I can handle it and sometimes I just need a good cry. I think about all the great times we had and that makes me happy, but then the grief creeps back in because I can no longer talk to, smile at, laugh with, cry with or hug my parents ever again. My only comfort is knowing I will see them again one day in Heaven and that is what keeps me going day to day.