A house I formerly lived in was an early nineteenth-century stone farmhouse. When my housemates were breaking ground for an extensive vegetable garden, they found three tombstones scattered in an old field on the property - a mother's and father's, presumably, and a much smaller stone for a child. These were almost certainly marking the grave sites of the original residents. I can't remember if the incriptions were legible or what they might have been. The tombstones were the very thin ones typical of very old graveyards in my area. They gave the stones place of honor in the main room of the farmhouse near its hearth. It sounds macabre to some, I suppose, but we all felt like they kind of belonged there, and that the family they belonged to became a kind of presence in the house once again. I've long lost contact with those housemates but did learn that they moved on. I do hope that the tombstones remained on the property or were taken to a local historical society. cranebill

Thanks flutterbug! I have only been to Blithewold for the Daffodil Days event last year but I can tell you that the gardens look interesting to visit other times of year. I could see perennials, ornamental grasses starting in various gardens, and they have an neat rock garden. There were signs of a cutting and annual garden. They have the a restored greenhouse with tropical plants. Plus the grounds have interesting trees and shrubs (most labeled) including a giant sequoia on the property. So I think it is worth it to visit other times of year I just haven't gotten down there yet. They also sponsor special gardening events throughout the year too. Sue

Hi, I just started anorex on Thursday and was wondering what other side effects/results you may have experienced. Did I waste my $$?? I have a very bloated feeling right now and I am going to the potty quite often. I am trying to drink a lot of water to replenish and maybe flush out my stomach ache so maybe it is just a short term thing, I sure hope so! My stomach is so uncomfortable that I wonder if that is what turns you off to eating, it is just such a full feeling like I just had two thanksgiving dinners. I need to lose 40 pounds and I am really going to commit to diet and working out b/c I know that is key. I feel like if I could just fit in to some of my old clothes, I would be motivated and could lose this weight by summer - at least 25. Its like once you start seeing results, you want to go on, but if you are feeling flabby, you say what the heck a whole sleeve of oreos at 11:00 PM doesn't matter b/c I am already fat! I am so so disgusted with myself right now and having to hide under big shirts b/c I cant even zip my own pants! I refuse to go up any more sizes so I am hoping anorex can get me started. I am wondering if this bloated feeling goes away and what I can look forward to, hopefully some success with this. Would appreciate hearing other's results....thanks!!

Hi Theresa: Thank you for your kind and comforting words, and thank you for providing such personal information about you and your mother. Whatever you are feeling, it is ok to feel that. The anger at your mother for not telling family members about her illness is understandable. It sounds like she was scared and in denial, and (as you said) did not want to burden others with such news. We all have issues with our parents; I guess it's because it's a dominant-submissive relationship. Even when we become adults, we are still viewed as children by our folks. What has helped me through my grieving process is to view my mother as a person--another human being going through this life process of being and growing--who made some good and bad choices but did her best under the circumstances, raised/treated me the best she could based on her life experience, and loved me through it all. We were gifts to each other because we needed to learn from each other. I remember when I was caring for my mother, I heard her ask her sister (my aunt)the following: "Do you remember Mom ever hugging you?" Here was my mother, in her 70s, asking her sister if she ever got hugs from their mother. My mother went on to say that she could not remember one time that their mother ever hugged her; she sounded so hurt. That's when it hit me that we are all just people trying to do our best based on how we were raised and loved as children. And no matter how old we get, there may be emotional needs not met that will hurt us and perhaps even haunt us for the rest of our lives. I believe my mother is around me quite a bit which is comforting. I realize that although there is no physical connection anymore, there is still a strong emotional one, a psychic connection if you will, and all I have to do to communicate with her now is to think a thought. The fact that you were with your mother, lay with her, and held her until she passed away is a true testament of love. Most people would not be able to bear that emotional pain. Bless you, Theresa! You are a terrific daughter. I shall keep checking this forum. You just keep posting your thoughts and feelings here so we can fully support you. You mentioned faith; I too am a big believer in faith getting me through rough times. The worse things got for me, the stronger my faith become. In addition to losing my mother and husband within a 10-month period, I also lost my therapist and mother-in-law to cancer during the next 14 months. So I lost three relatives and my grief therapist in a two-year period. At one point I felt like "Typhoid Mary." In fact, I refused to make any new friends for awhile thinking they might drop dead or become ill. That time period was hell for me and I too was a mess. You can and will make it through this hellish grieving process, Theresa. Be real, be honest with people about it, communicate with those who can and want to help you. One thing I wanted to ask is how are your children? How are they handling their grief? Have they talked to you about it? Take care, Theresa....you are special, you are loved, you are a valuable child of God. Mary R-K