I would hazard a guess that "cheese substitutes" are probably marketed to people recently diagnosed with lactose intolerance and are having a hard time giving up cheese, so are desperate! Dairy does not agree with me very well, (nor my father so this is probably a genetic inheritance) so I briefly experimented with some cheese substitutes, because I just LOVE, LOVE cheese! Well, they were a complete waste. I have however, found that soy milk is a fine substitute for regular milk for most of my uses, and since I was never a milk fan anyway, I don't miss it. There are whole cuisines that are very shy on milk and cheese and the beef that goes along with a cow-centered agriculture. Japan and India spring to mind . . . and India has close to a billion people. They don't think soy and other legume products are weird or a sign of deprivation, they have been part of their culture for hundreds and hundreds of years. And in Japan, their repertoire of fish and sea vegetables is vastly greater than what we would be used to eating. So anyway, I think the whole "substitute" nomenclature comes from trying to reach people who for various health reasons have to cut out the foods they are accustomed to and like. I don't think this is a totally bad idea, some substitutes are good and who knows what some people will like or not. But I think it also helps to embrace a totally different style of eating, and to explore different types of dishes you may have never been exposed to but find out you like. It's always better in my experience to embrace something new and joyful than to try and deprive yourself. I have a friend who had to change his circle of friends and take up jogging to quit smoking, but that was easier for him than to tell himself he had to give up cigarettes. Whenever he had a craving for a smoke he took a run! I know lots of people who have experimented with veganism (I work at a college and that is a time when young people try out new things since they start living on their own). If you just get a notion to "give up meat and diary" to become a vegan, and don't embrace a totally new way of eating and cooking, well you're bound for health problems. And if you're like some of my friends that just cannot abide by vegetables and vegetable products, then probably best to just skip the whole idea! I became a vegetarian 34 years ago, when I was 18 and started cooking everything on my own. That's how I developed a life-long interest in food and cooking, I had to seek out new ingredients and new cooking techniques. Just as a reflection of how truly "odd" our own American culture is, many, many of those foods and techniques had actually been mainstream 100-200 years before, or were mainstream in another culture. It's amazing how many of those ingredients and techniques have become mainstream again nowdays. Back when I started you had to join a food co-op to get any type of whole grain and other plant products. Now they are on the shelf of most larger grocery stores! No one had heard of gadgets like a bread machine and food processor! Now I'm longing for the day when locally produced food returns to the mainstream! We're getting there!

I agree with chi83 that falafel and hummus are good choices, but egg rolls are not vegan unless you substitute rice paper or egg-free pasta for the traditional wrappers. You can also make Vietnamese style lettuce wraps and omit the fish sauce. Here is my recipe for a bean dip, which I developed while I was living in Texas. It was a big hit there: Texas Bean Dip Ingredients 1-1/3 cup dried pinto (or red) beans (about 2 cups cooked) 1/2 large onion, coarsely chopped 2 tbsp cumin 1 bunch of cilantro, large stems removed, about 2/3 cup chopped 1 can Ro-Tel tomatoes (10 oz.) or similar tomatoes, diced with green chilies, drained, liquid reserved 3-4 Serrano chilies, coarsely chopped 6 tbsp chopped fresh oregano (or 2 tbsp dried oregano) 1 tbsp vegetable soup base Place dried beans in large pot and cover with water to about 3-4 times original depth. Bring to a boil and boil for two minutes, cover, and remove from heat and allow to soak for one hour. Discard the soaking water and rinse and sort the beans. Cover with fresh water, with about two inches above the soaked beans, and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for one hour, or until done, and discard the cooking water. Place all of the ingredients except the beans in a food processor and process until smooth. Add the beans, and check for flavor - you may not want to add all of them. If needed, add a bit of liquid from the canned tomatoes to aid in processing. I remove some of the seeds from the chilies - you can remove all the seeds, if you like it mild. Serve warm or cold with tortilla chips. These days I boil the beans with a few epazote leaves that I tie into a bundle so that they can be removed after cooking. This is a traditional way of cooking Mexican beans, and I do it partly because I always have a lot of epazote in my yard, and it also eliminates the need for cilantro, although I still add that as well if I have it. Potato empanadas might be another good choice. Lars

Perhaps it's different where you are....but anyplace I know of....when a 12 year old is "going out" with another 12 year old, it means she can't be friends with any other boys, nor he with other girls. I sure see no harm with her making sure he is aware of her existance. She is trying out her feminine wiles and he is smitten.....all that will change in the blink of an eye. I repeat...stay out of it...they are 12 for cryin out loud, you are complaining because your daughter talks to but won't "go out with" a neighbor kid? Suppose she did want to "go out" with him and wanted to spend all her time at his house? makes for a new worry doesn't it? Ignore it...it will go away! I repeat....she's 12!! I happen to have 3 12 year old grandsons. One recently "broke up" with the girl he was "going out with". He couldn't even talk in the hall to another girl without her pulling a scene and her girlfriends calling him and asking why were you talking to Carla when you are going with Dana?...and he got sick of it and broke up with her.... AND the next morning, Sunday, her mother called my son's house and wanted to know if they were aware that their son broke up with her daughter...and did they realize how heart broken she was and that she cried all night and what were they going to do about it. My son let her know in no uncertain terms that he didn't get involved in the drama of a 12 year old's love life and that his son was well within his rights to "break up" with her daughter, and please don't call again and wake me for some trivial problem that really is none of our businesses. Pay no attention....that's how she learns to be a teen age girl! Linda C

What a lovely tribute to your relationship! It speaks volumes that she would want you to fill this very special role. But IMO, you already have a Very Special Role as MOTB and also a Very Big Job helping her put together the wedding. If you're having the whole traditional shebang, then the MOH also has a pretty big job, and the two jobs together would be enough to drive most women over the edge. In fact either job alone is frequently enough to do the trick! Can you really see yourself throwing her the bachlorette party? And there are ettiquette issues that come into play if you want to throw her a shower. And would the other bridesmaids your daughter's age have as much fun with a 'parent' always around? Just points to consider. But if the wedding isn't going to be one where the above considerations apply, then just relax and enjoy your dual roles.