Okay back to the original issue. You have brown grass which is likely caused by too much water. It could be a fungal disease that killed the grass. Or it could be drowning by cutting off the air to the roots. In any case that grass is likely dead. Can you post another picture of the brown grass taken at a distance of 3 inches? And can you take it in the shade so we can see the grass with no shadows? Often we can see the fungus if there is any. It will also help identify the grass. I suspect this grass is a type of dwarf tall fescue called Marathon. It is all the rage in SoCal. If so then the grass will not spread by itself to refill the dead grass or the places where you pull out the St Augustine. The only way to get that grass back is to bring in more sod or find Marathon seed. There are three different Marathon grasses. They are Marathon, Marathon II, and III. Each one is dwarfier than the previous one. If you can visit with the people at Home Depot, they might be able to tell you which one they sell - or even if it was Marathon. If you mix Marathon III with Marathon, you'll notice a difference. If you want to be very safe in fertilizing, then use an organic fertilizer. It will be safe no matter what you're doing with the grass. Beyond organic, I cannot advise you. I have not bought chemical fertilizer in over 10 years. Organic fertilizer is hard to find in SoCal. My favorite is alfalfa pellets (rabbit chow). Here is a link to feed stores near you. Call around to get prices and availability before you make the drive. They are scattered around.

Your lily has virus. The fact that you say you have aphids clinches it. Early herbicide spraying in spring can also cause this color breaking. If I were you and had your investment in lilies I would get rid of these infected lilies and watch the others real close. So far I have had to pull 2 lilies-- one with the color breaking virus and the other, an oriental, had the leaf streak type of virus. On top of that, lots of damage from botrytis fungus this spring :-(

I've never heard the term "grass widow". Any event, you don't mention what you have going on of your own. In a marriage, it usually works out better if both spouses have separate interests as well as friends and interests in common. Are you sitting home waiting for you husband to come home, or do you have a full life while your husband is working? I am not sure why you talk about your previous relationship? Obviously, you did not marry that individual. Get a job, volunteer, learn to do something that interests you, exercise, heck, do what you're passionate about. What I am reading is that you don't have anything going on for yourself with the exception of your husband. Not a good thing. I have a workaholic spouse, however, I have other things going on so I am not obsessed with trying to change him. His being a workaholic pays for alot of nice things we have and can do, that would not be possible if he pumped gasoline or punched a 9-5 timeclock. Nothing wrong with pumping gasoline (not trying to incite a riot over the example), but if you want a husband that has a 9-5 job and only wants to spend time with you when he's not working, it doesn't sound like you married the right guy. Even if your husband wasn't a workaholic, he should have separate interests and hobbies as should you. That's what makes a relationship interesting, what each person brings to it. What are you bringing to your relationship?? I think two married people who do nothing but spend time with one another while not at work are boring. I can be a workaholic as well. I can't sit still most times to watch a movie because frankly, there are things I'd rather be doing. Doesn't make me a bad person. I think if you want to stay married to this person, you need to work out the sexlife or lack thereof situation. I think your sex life is a barometer of your relationship. JMHO. Most couples who have a good sex life seem to roll with the punches with the rest of things that present themselves in life. If your sex life is as bad as it sounds, you need some help. I wish you the best. Please do something for you and it may change your outlook on things.

The only thing I can think of is an allergy, have you bought any new furniture that your calves rest on. My forearms get red when I sit at the PC to long. I think it is the finish on my desk so bought a small memory foam rug/mat, folded it and rest my arms on it. I get redness on my face that looks like pin pricks after a soaking hot bath. I do not know what calcium channel blockers are but all meds have side effects, that includes supplements. Research everything you are taking.