Garden Humor-Is this you?????

14 years ago

I read this on another GW site I stop in at and thought some here would get a laugh. And for a few it might hit close to home!! Enjoy. JD

MY WIFE THE GARDENER

She dug the plot on Monday,

the soil was rich and fine.

She forgot to thaw out dinner

so we went out to dine.

She planted roses Tuesday.

She says they are a must.

They really are quite lovely,

but she forgot to dust.

On Wednesday it was daisies,

they opened with the sun.

All whites and pinks and yellows,

but the laundry wasn't done!

The poppies came on Thursday,

a bright and cheery red.

I guess she really was engrossed;

she never made the bed.

It was dahlias on Friday

in colors she adores.

It never bothered her at all,

those crumbs upon the floors.

I hired a maid on Saturday;

my week was now complete.

My wife can garden all she wants;

the house will still be neat.

It's nearly lunchtime Sunday

and I can't find the maid.

Oh no! I don't believe it!

She's out there with a spade.

from the New Zealand Rose Annual, 1995

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (10)

Okiedawn OK Zone 7
14 years ago
Jay,

LOL LOL LOL

Do you even have to ask?

Guilty, guilty, guilty. It sounds just like me.

Don't let my husband see this or he'll decide the solution is to hire a maid.....and that would be a waste of money we could be spending on something more important....like gardening!

Dawn
southerngardenchick
14 years ago
LOL!! LOVE IT!

Only difference here is we can't afford a maid. :)

Beth
Related Discussions
Humorous Gardening Haiku Contest
Q
Comments (9)
PAMark- I liked your haiku a lot! Ortho brings you rest, indeed! How about these? An oversized duck, I dabble amoung my rows, tending. Bottoms up! Good neighbor, don't ask Why do I steal your fall leaves? Compost heap needs browns. Green gifts on my porch? Who could grant so much bounty? Zuchini fairy.
...See More
Humor in the Garden
Q
Comments (5)
really? the woman is showing signs of dutch elm disease,a TREE disease, so the doctor is sending her to see a botanist to treat her....?!
...See More
You Know You've Been Gardening Too Long When...
Q
Comments (5)
Don , Sad but true! I can add a couple.. When your dogs go straight to the compost heap when they do their jobs. When your spouse flashes the porch light for you to come in because it is past dark. When you rob a convenience store to get money for "Chigger X' at Walmart! When you look forward to standing for hours on end watering your plants and thinking of nothing. Denny
...See More
Humor book about kids in garden
Q
Comments (3)
Hi snap3peas. GREAT recommendation! I agree that the stories with the kids (including the "veggie kids") are the funniest, but the ones with his girlfriend Maria are also great! Yes--it is on amazon; that's where I got mine. I'm telling everyone I know about it, even non-gardeners and non-mothers! Here is a link that might be useful: TALES link to amazon
...See More
elkwc
Original Author
14 years ago
Dawn look at it this way. I bet if he hired one in no time you would have her in the garden and you would have helping building up new beds, ect. And I wasn't asking you as we both know and everyone who knows us that we are guilty. JD
mulberryknob
14 years ago
The best gardener I ever knew was also one of the best housekeepers I ever knew. But she had no children at home and the garden was very small so I didn't let it make me feel too guilty. She also made beautiful quilts and sewed her own curtains and slipcovers.

My garden is huge and there's 2 acres to mow and weedeat on top of it, so I just can't possibly keep up with all that and the housework too. (And besides, I don't LIKE to do housework.)
Okiedawn OK Zone 7
14 years ago
Dorothy,

I don't like to do housework either. I just consider it a necessary evil and I do it once I run out of gardening and mowing and weedeating chores.

Actually, Tim has done a lot more of the mowing and weedeating this year so that I have had more time to deal with the garden and the abundance of produce we get in a rainy year. I sure wish we had more rainy years here!

In a drought year I can do most of the mowing and weedeating because the garden doesn't grow as well in a dry year (and, obviously, neither does the grass and weeds). I hope that mowing/weedeating has kept him from being too bored because, with the abundance of rain there's been very few grassfires, and that means the firefighters are getting 'antsy'.

Dawn
sammy zone 7 Tulsa
14 years ago
That is funny. We live in such a confused society. If we want to have those things we want, some duties must go. I think you hit upon those things that I let go.

Besides a full time job, I want to grow my roses and tomatoes, and I want to spend time with my big dogs. I pick and choose, just like the rest of you.

The maid has the spade! I wasn't expecting that.

Sammy
elkwc
Original Author
14 years ago
I'm surprised that Ilene hasn't chimed in. Anyone who has a bee costume to wear to encourage plants to pollinate better qualifies as a full fledged addict. hehe. JD
OklaMoni
14 years ago
Very funny... and for me, in between the planting I go off to ride my bicycle or drive to see my grand daughter. :)

Moni... who would love the maid thing!
mulberryknob
14 years ago
I once had a maid....well, I had a teenage daughter who hated outdoor work. So she cleaned house while her younger sister (who enjoyed it and was my gardening buddy) and I worked in the garden. But she's been married and gone 15 years and I still haven't made the adjustment to having to do it all myself.
jessaka
14 years ago
great poem. sounds like me. we can all catch up on our house this winter.

i once hired a maid, but when i came home she had done what i told her not to do: she spent all her time in the kitchen using the scratching side of the sponge to clean what were already clean cupboards, and i had told her to not use that side of the sponge because it takes the shine out of the paint. i fired her and repainted the kitchen.

the only person that does a better job of cleaning than me is my husband.