Funny, funny. Be careful that someone doesn't think those seeds are something the government doesn't want us planting. Ha, ha. My local water utility co. has small little envelopes to put your payment in if the office is closed. Somehow or other a couple have found their way to our house. They make great seed holders. I also use empty film containers for seed sharing. Keep the ha, ha coming we'll need it when winter sets in. Enjoying a beautiful Tennessee day!

Andrea... As several others have mentioned... Welcome to the Club! I spent quite a bit of money on some more expensive varieties last fall, and told my DH that I wouldn't need to buy any more plants. I said that with the newer varieties, I would be perfectly happy just start to start crossing my own. And I held out... I didn't order any other fans, didn't even look when people here started talking about sales. Then I had to put a special grouping together for my Mother last week. I was looking for specific DL's, and found them on Maryott's, Ridaught's, and Browns Ferry Gardens. All were having incredible sales, so OF COURSE IT WOULDN'T HURT TO LOOK.............. Mind you, I have almost 1 1/2 acres that is fully landscaped (and I mean FULLY... can't squeeze any more plants into any of my beds without removing something.) I do have a large area of lawn, but it is off limits as we are eventually planning on building our house there. And now somehow over the last week I have around 40 new DL's coming........don't know quite how it happened, but it's a done deal at this point. I guess that the woods are going to have to be pushed out a little bit further on one side or the other! The good thing is that I am lucky enough to have a DH that is wonderful as well (not quite as good as yours as I have to build my own beds :), but he's still a keeper ), and he just smiles at me and shakes his head. He is definitely not a gardner, but he still enjoys sharing at least my seedling beds because I am so excited about them. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't so tolerant of my addiction! Actually, I guess I would just have to do what a member on the rose forum once posted.....sneak out in the middle of the night to plant. After all, how is he going to notice one more plant more or less? :) Thank goodness it hasn't come to that ...............SO FAR........... Happy Planting! Julie

I really like Sylvia's suggestion, however, eventually your wrists get all kinds of bumps, bruises and scars. Not a particularly good thing, unless you want to look like a soon-to-be psych patient by the end of the week. Been there done that!!! From what I've read it's completely natural to sit there and obsess about what she thinks. I do it myself, and Jerri on your line: "In my case, bm does bad mouth me to sd and my dh. She often fabricates stuff that I supposedly did  how can I not be bugged about that? I believe that she is mentally and verbally abusive to her daughter and I worry that her live in boy friend is too. How can I not worry about that?" Ditto. I know they're abusive to my SD, and I sit and dwell on it ALL weekend when she's there. We literally sleep with our cell phones on the bed just in case she needs us to come get her! I know this isn't healthy, and I have to say I'm in agreement with everyone about our "controlling" personalities (we're mothers! of course we want to be in control of things!). I think that's WHY we sit and dwell on this. We can't control this other entity, and it's annoying as hell. We work so hard to be there for these children and then BM comes along and with a few words can turn a happy child into a loathing, obnoxious creature towards us. All because she can. "well what's she doing now?" "what is she saying now?" "why the hell is she looking at MY man that way?" and most importantly "Who the hell does she think she is walking into my home and plopping her ass down on the sofa like she owns the place??!!??" Could it be that we admire them? Probably not. WE obviously have what they wanted at some point and don't now. Admire a woman who abuses her child and/or lets someone else abuse her child. HELL no! Admire a woman who will use her child as a weapon or a bartering tool? I'd rather slam my boobs in the car door!

She doesn't have a "drinking problem", she's an alcoholic. Call it what it is. Imagining that there's anything you can do to get a practicing alcoholic to be a responsible parent is the problem here. Trying to appeal to her, reason with her, getting angry, or imagining that she can somehow "improve" and control her drinking is absurd. The only way an alcoholic can "improve" is if they stop drinking completely. Your husband shouldn't be indulging her drunken rants and pity trips--he should tell her to call him when she's sober and hang up the phone. Anything other than zero tolerance is enabling her to continue drinking. Alcoholics don't stop drinking on their own , and they don't do it for the sake of their children, or anyone else. An alcoholic only stops drinking when they get "sick and tired, of being sick and tired." Doesn't sound like she's anywhere near that point. You need give up on the silly notion that there's anything you can do to "help" her, and start documenting everything so you'll have a paper trail to try to get the children removed from her custody. If you really want to do something that might actually be beneficial, I highly recommend finding a local chapter of Alanon, and attending some of their meetings. Alanon is a support group for families of alcoholics that is associated with, and has adopted the principles of AA (alcoholics anonymous), in offering help and hope to those effected by alcoholics to find ways to resolve problems and obtain a better quality of life, regardless of whether the alcoholic stops drinking or not. If you can convince your husband to join you, that would be great, if not, go alone. They can offer all kinds of helpful tips, hints, and methods that have successfully worked for them and others, including advice on winning custody battles to remove children from continuing to be harmed by an alcoholic. They also have support groups for children of alcoholics, Alateen and Alatot, where your stepchildren can learn they're not alone, and provide them with a peer group to vent to and help them with the difficult challenges of dealing with the abuse and stigma of having an alcoholic parent. My husband was a practicing alcoholic, who went into rehab when he met me, and has been "clean and sober" ever since--going on 25 years now. I started attending Alanon while he was in rehab and felt it was the best therapy I ever received--and it's free! Best of luck!