Why Do We Do It? Musings From A Heartbroken Hostaholic

15 years ago

Why do we do it?

Why do we get up at the crack of dawn, half asleep, to spend an hour or more watering our beloved hostas? Water prices are high & supplies are dwindling, yet we generously quench our hosta's thirst without thinking about it twice.

We have never ending quarrels with our spouses because they "don't get it". "Why did you have to buy 20 more plants? You still have 10 in the bucket outside. Are you coming in or are you just gonna keep staring at the plants for another hour? Why do you give more attention to the hostas than me?" etc. etc. My wife even suggested that she'd try to find a hosta costume on Halloween so that I pay more attention to her...;-)

Why do we do it?

The economy is in shambles, a lot of us don't even have job security & savings are hard to maintain, yet going to Hallson's & dropping $100 or more is done without hesitation or a second thought. Why do we spend countless hours on this and other forums, day in and day out, sharing our joys & our sorrows as if it was one big disfunctional family that we are trying to nurture? We quarrel together, we laugh together, we learn from each other. We coo over other's pictures (as we do with baby pics) & hope & dream that ours will someday resemble these beauties. Why do Ken's hailstorm pictures almost bring a tear to our eyes & pain to our hearts, even though most of us don't even know him? They are just plants, right?

Why do we do it?

We spend hours & $$$ searching the web for curatives, amendments, fertilizers and information, ensuring that our hostas will survive & thrive, when this could be devoted to other projects. We have cracked fingers & sore backs. Foul under our finger nails & tired hands. Yet we continue day in & day out to labor in our gardens, despite all odds (sometimes insurmountable), with the devotion that only a parent affords to a child...

Why do we do it?

I have had a tough two days; lost my Dream Weaver to Southern Blight & maybe my beloved Super Nova & spent all day trying to find a cure, which, even though successful in my quest, set me back almost $100. Money that I really need, but did not think twice about spending. Ordered 5 more hosta "to numb the pain". A few minutes ago I noticed that my precious 5 eye Paradigm is being attacked, rather aggressively, by foliar nematodes. It's as if I've been hit by a truck. I almost went into panic mode. After I post this, I'll spend whatever time I need searching the database, the internet, researching, copying, and eventually proceed to try to salvage my baby. And it got me thinking:

Why do we do it?

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Comments (36)

sassy7142
15 years ago
esudina, what you've written is so, so true.
I had to laugh because you described my husband's remarks to me do to a tee.
One thing you left out though, and that's the ongoing poison ivy rash and itch.
Why do we do it?
Any Shrinks out there with an answer?
thelma662
15 years ago
Good morning from northwest Mississippi, I love your musings!!! I am not quite as addicted as you are but might be getting there. When I first saw hostas growing in people's yards, I decided this area had a "hosta mentality". They were the same boring ones in all the yards I noticed. Then I met the truly lovely ones such as June and Alex Summers and dwarfs and I too am hooked. The varieties are astounding!!! and expensive, I might add. I am searching for Emerald Eyes and a kind hostaholic found one at Kessels Nursery. I will call Monday to see if they have it since it is not on their availability list. If I can't get it there, I will be on my ever diligent search for it or one with similar characteristics. I love how each leaf is different. Happy hostaing, Thelma
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jel48
15 years ago
I'm no shrink....

One of the reasons we do it is because our hearts fill with peace and joy just standing there looking at them....

I be others can add several other good reasons too!
donrawson
15 years ago
Maybe it's a God-given instinct? Genesis 2:15. It's just that some of us enjoy a lot more than others! :) Don
botanybabe
15 years ago
A shrink would tell you that when we purchase, care for, and talk about hostas, we are "mood altering." Some people do it with drugs, some with alcohol, some with jewelry, some with hostas. It makes us feel good. The difference is, that usually with plants, it's not a destructive thing as it is with alcohol. Now if we are buying hostas while our children go hungry and our spouses go without lovin', then it is truly an addiction and needs intervention.

I would suspect that many of us ride that line between healthy interest and addiction much of the time. We constantly monitor ourselves to keep from going over the edge. Once in a while we slip over, but then return to riding the edge of the blade. With everything getting more expensive, riding the edge is going to get harder.

Some of us, including me, will have to do more nurturing of our hostas, and less purchasing in the future. Maybe more trading and less buying. Sometimes the truth hurts.

For me, I do it because I love to play in the garden and hostas give me a beautiful result fairly quickly. I feel serene when I look at them, and I feel happy to see them do well. I think it's better than drugs and alcohol and it's not a waste of time like playing computer games. It's easy to justify what I want to justify and look down on everyone else's addiction, so I'll just stop here and go plant my T-Rex that I got in a recent trade. LOL.

Lainey
jbranch
15 years ago
What about the neighbors that drive by and see me looking at my hostas! I wonder what they are thinking :-).
esther_opal
15 years ago
"Why do we get up at the crack of dawn, half asleep, to spend an hour or more watering our beloved hostas?"

They would prefer to be watered in the mid-afternoon 3-5, when they need to be cooled, there is in fact research supporting this. If you really want something special set up a mist system and run the mist in the heat of the day.

"Why do we do it?

The economy is in shambles, a lot of us don't even have job security & savings are hard to maintain, yet going to Hallson's & dropping $100 or more is done without hesitation or a second thought."

BECAUSE; we are obsessive-compulsive leading to an emotional roller-coaster ride, unrealistic highs and oppressive lows. The highs occur while we pour over photos and catalogues finally to the highest of all hosta highs, ordering more. The lows occur when the credit card bill comes in the mail usually the day after the plants show up.

Admitting our illness is the first step to recovery.

Lainey if you donÂt recover from your fall you are going to wear us out with all these questions. In fact you are about to get on my last nerve, IÂll have to call AAHostas and order something. I saw a H.ÂRascalÂ in St Louis that was just a monster simply shined, very upright, not that I prefer uprights but there are so few we "need" one of each. I found it on AAHostas list for 12.00 and of course I "needed" just a few more.

This is the only photo I can find which doesnÂt show how bright it really is, you should be able to interpolate a top view and see the color. WOW! Now place it up a bit on a rise with something blue low and flat below in a little semi circle of 3. Picture the various views as you walk around this scene, from the top, side and bottom.
OOH OOH OOH

Boy do I feel better getting this off my chest.

PS do you really think you can change Washington that got us into this terrible economic condition.
dhaven
15 years ago
Why do we do it? Because the beauty and serenity of a garden is balm to a weary soul. Even on the worst day, an hour spent in the garden washes away many of the day's problems, and brings the rest into a better perspective.

Because the fascination of watching the plants grow from tiny starts into mature plants reminds us of the great cycle of life, with all it's trials, tribulations, and rewards.

Because hybridizing our own hostas and watching the seedling mature reminds us that there is a future, and that in some small way, we can take control of our own portion of that future.

We do it in order to have a small piece of nature around us. A hosta garden is full of life of all sorts. Birds, insects, toads, frogs, moles, butterflies, worms, and all manner of other life fills a garden. We are enriched by the diversity and wonder of this vast array of life.

We do it because, somewhere in our genes, there is the absolute need to dig in the dirt and grow things, and without an outlet for that, we would always remain restless.

We do it for the sense of anticipation it gives us all winter, when we look forward to the first pointy hosta eyes appearing in the garden. Will everything come back? Will all the plants be bigger and more beautiful? Will the seedlings fulfill their promise of great things to come? How eagerly we check the garden for those first signs of renewal.

We do it so that we can share what we have created with others, bring them joy, and in the process find new friends. Hostas can be expensive, but friends are priceless.

We do it in order to find the generosity in ourselves. How many times have we heard on this forum of people giving plants to others? Or sharing with friends, or donating plants to auctions that benefit a worthy cause? How many gift plants do you have in your garden? I have many, and they are the most special hostas I own.

Mostly, we do it because we love hostas. In all their variety and with all their quirks, even with all the frustration that sometimes comes to a garden, we are all, each and every one of us, smitten with the hosta. Let's hope we never get over it, for our lives would be much poorer for lack of a garden.
esther_opal
15 years ago
The question posed is "Why Do We Do It?", a question in response to a question; Do We Do It?

"What about the neighbors that drive by and see me looking at my hostas! I wonder what they are thinking :-)."
jbranch

Tom T Hall spoke to this in a song, they are "thinking about they selves".

To me is it also a spiritual thing, I see the beauty then my mind follows the petioles down and see the crown below on to the roots and finally to wonder of all that is involved in growing. In a poor gram of soil, I said gram of soil might be 100,000 organisms working symbiotically to create the beauty we see above ground. In a rich gram, again a GRAM there may be 3,000,000,000 organisms, more likely 1 or more billion, now are we in charge?

Do we think because we can keep a few saltwater fish that can create an ocean, we canÂt create the system that finally results in the beauty that soothes, comforts even lifts us! Hopefully we do no harm and create or allow conditions that supports this, BIG BUTT we do so little that our part is only to exalt what God has given us.

I try to live a frugal life following my grandfatherÂs words that ring in my ears all these years, "Waste Not Want Not".

This H.'Blue Angel' was grown with heavy clay, a hole then mulched with organic matter.

I answer my question but not yours, God does it.
Babka NorCal 9b
15 years ago
Why do we do it? It brings peace to the chaos of life. After our 4 grandchildren were murdered in 2002, then a daughter succumbing to a brain tumor, the only way I could cope was to concentrate my focus on hostas. The shrinks tell you to fight depression by re-directing your sad thoughts to the things that bring you joy. It works. I like to spend time with my hostas, and frequently do on the bench you see in the photo. I love to look closely at every leaf, amazed by the beauty.

{{gwi:1072486}}
mctavish6
15 years ago
We do it because we have our priorities in order and nature is much easier and more pleasant to deal with than the madness and actions of much of humanity.

babka - may you find healing and peace in your beautiful garden. I am so sorry. McT
esther_opal
15 years ago
Babka, don't know what you call that enclosure but it is just grand.
botanybabe
15 years ago
Babka,

The space you have made for yourself with your hostas would bring healing to almost anyone. May blessings come to you during your journey through such difficult years.

Lainey
Janice
15 years ago
My first reaction or response to the questions is, because when it works and everything becomes as grand as we've hoped
it's just breathtaking and wonderful to see the wonder of the varieties and the aspects of each hosta, while different from
the next one, all are just so beautiful!!!

Babka--I am stunned by your loss!!! I simply am at a loss for adequate words! But, in my heart, I ache so much for all who are
continuing to be touched by this horrible tragedy. I do pray that you experience a time of peace from God in your setting,
which is so very awesome, btw!!! You are healing, from the most acute pain, but there will be scars that remain,
and when touched, you will wince, again. Hopefully there are some good memories to soothe some of the acute pain, even now!

And we complain because our hosta get nematodes or southern blight,--kinda puts things in perspective don't it!!!
inlimbo
15 years ago
Oh, Babka, what beauty and order you've created.
sassy7142
15 years ago
dhaven, I ditto everything you said.

babka, I am so sorry. Your garden is beautiful. May you continue to find the Lord's peace as you sit amoung His creation that He has allowed you to care for and admire.
I've found myself spending more time than ever in my gardens this year. It truly has been therapy for me since learning that my husband was diagnosed with cancer.

Strange how I can get bored vacuming the carpet for 15 minutes, but spend countless hours in my gardens without a thought.
Janice
15 years ago
Babka--I just reread my post part for you and am very embarrassed. How dare I even imagine I could say something that
could counsel or comfort you. While I have suffered losses, nothing compares to yours!! I'm truly sorry for your pain and the
loss of your precious grandchildren! Perhaps that should have been enough for me to say, in the first place!!!

Sassy---how is your husband doing these days?
ejr2005
15 years ago
This is an amazing post.

Babka - what a special place. The space, hostas and other plants make a truly healing garden room. I can't even get my arms around your terrible losses, but hope that they are all working their magic on you.

I seem to have become a hostaholic recently for somewhat similar reasons. My husband was diagnosed with cancer in December and my father became ill and passed away in April. My husband we think is fine now, and my Dad was almost 101 and lived a good long life.

But since then I've been compulsively buying and planting - mostly hostas but some ferns, astilbes, etc. I'm not sure yet if its been healing as I think I'm still in the midst of it. Lots of work for sure! But I do love to visit the hostas and see what's happening to them. They seem really happy where they are planted, and that makes me really happy. There is something very compelling about with "countering" illness and death with nurturing living things.
Babka NorCal 9b
15 years ago
Thanks to you all for the kind words. But I'm not looking for sympathy, just trying to explain how well the therapy part of the hosta addiction works. The original poster asks why we do it? Ultimately, because playing with hostas makes us feel good. So do drugs. But hostas are WAY more fun!

-Babka
hosta_freak
15 years ago
I like the peace and tranquility of my hosta garden. What I constantly wonder about is why do we fuss so much over a plant that is supposed to be so easy to grow? I never fuss over mine that much,but I guess it's because I don't have very many exotic hostas,that a loss of one would be a disaster financially! It does tic me off when a suirrel or chip digs up one of my plants in a pot! Other than tose things mentioned,I just like growing plants,because they never talk back,or give you grief,like some people do! Phil
sassy7142
15 years ago
Janice, thanks for asking about my hubby. He's getting stronger every day. Still alot of pain, but cutting down on the morphine now. Feeding tube is still in. His facial disfigurement bothers him, but not me in the least.

babka, you say hostas are WAY more fun than drugs...
......Not to mention they are legal.

They ARE therapy, no doubt about that.
lisasmall
15 years ago
Esther_Opal (Butch), I like your H. 'Rascal' and the arrangement with the rocks! I admire the symmetry of hostas which have had a chance to fill out.

Babka, your meditation room is just beautiful, and a real inspiration to those of us who think gardening = mess (which is me; I find shovels and weeds and heaps of dirt or compost creeping into every photo I take.) I am very sorry for your horrific loss.

Esudina, good thread. :)
esudina
Original Author
15 years ago
This is why I do it...
Thank you everyone for the wonderful replies. After reading Bakba's post it all seemed very clear to me...the love, the attention, the passion that we have for our hostas is but a reflection of our real selves. It is through this wonderful "hobby" that we see life in a grander scale. NOTHING is really insurmountable, no loss too great to overcome. Life goes on, on its own terms, and we are just going along for the ride, hoping to steer our ship as best as we can. Amazing how a little plant can bring out the best in us. The replies that you all have posted have enriched my life and strengthened my resolve to carry on no matter what. You know why? Because whatever happens, there is always tomorrow. There's another chance. There is another hosta...

Thank you everyone. May your life be blessed with health, abundance, peace & prosperity.

Babka, thank you. Your post and picture have touched me in more ways than you can imagine.

-Luis
jel48
15 years ago
Babka, I know you aren't looking for sympathy, but had to post again anyway. I am so sorry. Even though few people can even guess at how it must have hurt, we all hurt for you. I can't imagine anything that would hurt worse than the loss of a child or grandchild. I hope your hosta garden has helped bring you peace.
lindac
15 years ago
Why do we do it?...
I think all of us have a desire to nurture, to take care of something, to feed and water it. And it's wonderful when what we feed and nurture, responds in a way we can notice. It's sort of like feeding a baby or a puppy and watching it grow, we water our hosta and they grow, we toss a handful of alfalfa at them and they grow bigger. We examine them for nematodes and for signs of disease, we worry when we first turn them out of their pots into that big wild garden full of voles and unknown horrors. We pace and worry when the sky turns green and mourn every bruise and tear from a hailstone as if it were our very own bodies being bruised even though we know they will heal.
Hostas are cheaper than more kids or more puppies. You can leave them home alone for up to 4 days and the child protection service or the SPCA won't get you....and you don't have to send them to college!!

And Babka, I offer my support to you and admire your ability to cope and love the space you have made.
Linda C
regattagirl
15 years ago
Gardening is THEE most popular hobby. I think it's because it is in our ancestral memory and God meant for us to find solace in a garden. After all, He didnÂt put Adam and Eve in a bar or office now did He? He put them in a garden.

What about the neighbors that drive by and see me looking at my hostas! I wonder what they are thinking :-).

And on a lighter note, I think it's hilarious to wonder what my BF's non-gardening neighbor is thinking when she sees me photographing his gardens while she walking her dog...several different times now. Heee heeee...
just1morehosta
15 years ago
Babka,
I remember seeing your picture at one other time,you live in Cal. right?
I was amazed that hosta would grow there,how do you winter them over?
When i first saw your picture, i was struck with the simple beauty of your layout,all most oriental in nature,a place of meditation.
Then when i read your post about your grandchildren and your dear daughter,i wondered perhaps if this is a place of meditation for you?
Is this your momorial garden?
There are no wordes any one can offer you to help you through this, so i won't even try,i read one time when there is nothing you can do ,or say, to some one, you can always ask God to give them strength and endourance,i have done this for you, and will continue.
Your posting such a horrible tragedy has touched us all,i have found myself sitting in my own garden and thinking of your grandchildren,and daughter.And being even more grateful for what i have.I hope you have found a small amount of joy, and that you do indeed get stronger every day.

How is your daughter doing now?

Carol
tracyvine
15 years ago
Why do I do it? Hmmmm, my gardens are my therapist. They bring me tranquility, peace and serenity. They bring me pride in my accomplishments, they bring me joy in their generosity of blooms, form and color. They make me realize my life is much like their ordeals in overcoming the adversity of disease, drought, and stress. They are a reflection of me and my needs, wants and desires.

I would rather pay money for a new baby hosta or a remedy for one of their problems than visit a therapist once or twice a week for much, much more. My little plant friends never interrupt my musings and are very patient with me. I figure I can afford them the same in return. I am glad I have them to play with and nurture even when times are tough and money is tight. I give to my gardens and they give to me. It is a very good relationship that we have together.

Tracy
Patty zone 5
15 years ago
Just bumping this thread in case anyone missed it or is new here. This is wonderful example of the unique blend of personalities that our forum is composed of. As I read through this thread time and again, it made me laugh, cry, reflect and appreciate. Thanks esudina for starting it all off and to the rest who contributed.
just1morehosta
15 years ago
Tracy,You said this very well.I also,loved this thred,even shared it with a couple of non hosta friends.
Beautifully expressed,thank you.

Carol
goldedger
15 years ago
Thanks Patty for bumping this thread up......I did miss it and it is a wonderful example as you said.

For me gardening is, quite simply a joy. It heals heartbreak, pain and sorrow, strengthens, invigorates, renews my soul, and gives me and others JOY!!! It's like one of those so called - miracle bottles of tonic that hucksters sold for a dollar....way back when.........only gardening does seem to heal whatever ails you.

June
upnort
15 years ago
After busting my rump again this weekend I asked my husband, do we garden because we love to or because we cant afford to do anything else? He said, if we could afford anything else wed be putting it all in the garden and still busting our rumps. Why do we do it? Because we can!
esudina
Original Author
15 years ago
I've enjoyed the responses from all of you more than I have writing this thread; thank you all. Happy gardening!
Luis (a.k.a Esudina)
alexis717_df
15 years ago
I sit here at work reading all these beautiful things and tears slip down my face. Not just for Babka. Although, Babka, your's has touched me the deepest. You have my prayers.

My tears are also for the understanding I read and feel in this thread. None of my friends or family understand and all think I've gone slightly over the edge. There is nothing I can add to what has already been expressed, for I feel the same. Serenity, pleasure, love, joy and above all peace.

Thank you so much for this thread.

Alexis
greenthumbz4mn
15 years ago
This is truly a beautiful thread--such a caring, intelligent, sharing, joyous, generous, and fun group this is. Babka and everyone else who is going or has gone through troubled times, I wish you peace. And it seems like many of us have found it in our gardens. A wise minister once told me that you are never closer to God than you are in a garden--whose presence many of us do feel there. On my garden shed, which a friend folk-art painted for me, is the simple inscription that she also painted --"A garden nourishes the soul and gladdens the heart". That it truly does. Mary
sunnny
15 years ago
This is just what I needed tonight. Thank you to everyone for the caring and for the 'reasons why'. I want to extend huge blessings to Babka for her and her families loss. All of the photos are just beautiful and I find myself more and more obsessed with gardening and hostas.
For me it's the peace I find after the termoil of every day life and the healing of past pain. I lost a daughter at a young age 20 years ago and we never expect to bury our children...then several years ago was hit by a drunk driver who nearly killed me. I spent 6 months in rehab learning to walk again and was told I shouldn't have made it. I hurt each and every day but somehow I manage to plant and build gardens and LOVE it. Every minute I'm out there in the soil, dirty (I'm a very dirty gardener) at times barefoot and totally happy. There is where I find the most peace.
I had to smile at so many of the comments because several times my family will come to the back door at dark and say, are you coming in or what's for dinner and I have forgotten about everyone else but the love of being in the garden.
I've waited 18 years to build beds around my back yard and I started this year and am about 1/3 of the way. TOTALLY HAPPY!!!
What a wonderful thread. More peace!!!
Sunny

Why Do We Do It? Musings From A Heartbroken Hostaholic

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