I Am Heartbroken
I am in shock and grief stricken as I type this.
At dinner time tonight, after a perfectly normal day, with no sign of sickness or stress, my sweet dog, Riley, whose face you see on my icon, collapsed on my kitchen floor.
She quickly righted herself, but stood unmoving with a dazed look. I called to her & when she didn't come I picked her up to take her outside for air. She usually fidgets when picked up but she was calm and just rested her head on my shoulder. I called upstairs to DH & told him to call our vet. Then I tried to calm myself and try to send positive energy and love from my heart to hers. After just a few minutes of stillness I heard her gasp and I had the sense that I was losing her.
But I wrapped her in a towel and cradled her and we rushed to the ER vet. I carried her in and they confirmed she was gone. As there had been no forewarning I asked if she might have come into contact with something that poisoned her. The vet said there would have been indications of that. She believes it was a massive heart event.
She and her brother, Puck, both would have turned 12 in Oct. They both were fit & our vet at the most recent checkup foresaw at least a few more good years. Puck has never been a day without her his entire life. He seems lost tonight.
I love them both but Riley was My dog. She was my constant companion over some very tough years. When I nursed my Mom through Alzheimer's, Riley provided me such comfort at the end of tough days. When I suffered through any illness or upheaval she would not leave my side.
I am both stunned and totally bereft. I'm not sure why I am writing this here except I know that many of you have suffered similar losses and can understand. Also, Puck & Riley have been included in some of my posts, so I feel that you also "know" her.
This is so hard.
The day I brought her home
Puck & Riley's greeting to GW's Linelle this spring.
Always a duo...
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I am so heartbroken!
Comments (14)Hollyhocker, I was going to take a photo but forgot, and the next day the plants were eaten! Amazingly, the plants have recovered and put out new flowers along the same stalks, as if they knew they just had to make a supply of seeds no matter what! The Deer Solution is working so far. Since it's food material (cinnamon, cloves, salt, eggs, guar gum, and a few other things like hot pepper,) I spray it along the edge of my fenced in garden too (which has my veggies along with flowers). The deer have now left me with gorgeous vines of sweet peas which they always ate. I thought s. peas were poisonous, but the deer ate them anyway along with (poisonous) potato and tomato vines that came too close to the fence. Maybe now they will leave my massive stands of bee balm alone. They always get eaten to the ground. Since I started spraying the Deer Solution, the plants are coming back. I have a small patch of bee balm inside my fence, which I carefully cut back to keep under control. They spread in early spring, so they're easy to control then. I started them from seed, too, years ago. I had 3 colors of bee balm...red, pink, lavender. The deer ate them all, but I managed to save the red. It has HUGE flowers, 3-4" across....See MoreI am married and so is he-my heart is broken
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Comments (23)Cypress, The decision is yours but here is what happened to me... I met a man who I thought was the greatest thing since chocolate 5 years ago. I have 2 children (he doesn't have any) but he seemed to get along with them well. My son was 16 and didn't want me to marry him but I thought that he was being jealous because he had been in the past. We had always been very close. My daughter was 6 and enjoyed spending time with my new love. I never saw him treat them badly or say anything that was out of order. After 12 years of being single, I chose to marry him, after a year dating. 3 months after the wedding, my son left home, REFUSES to even come to the house to visit because Husband is ALWAY rude to him and cut's me down for defending him. My daughter HATES him!! I can never leave her at home by herself in case he gets home before me. He scream and fights with her all the time. He sends her to her room within 5 minutes after she get off the school bus EVERY DAY. My daughter is staying with one of my sister's for the summer and I am trying to get Husband to talk to me. He doesn't see a problem. He is the adult and man of the house and she needs to behave. Yes, she has developed a 'smart' mouth and voices her opinions more than an 11 year old should but IMO he needs to have some respect for her also. Children are people! their feeling can be hurt just like his. THey have a right to have their own opinion when ask a question. All the monthly bills are in my name as I moved them over to our new home instead of paying another deposit. My ENTIRE pay check goes to pay for them and food. His paycheck is his ~ he says he works hard for his money and deserves to have some fun. Leaving is not a do-able option for me. Your man may not do these things, YET!! That is the key word. If he is behaving in this manner now, just imagine what it will be like when he gets you to sign the license. Do you want your son to have to be by himself every evening, lonely in his room? Be scared to bring a problem to you or just discuss his day, because 'he' is home? Just my 2 cents, Good luck...See Morei just found a snake in my bluebird house.
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just_terrilynn
7 years ago
monicakm_gw
7 years agojust_terrilynn
7 years agolast modified: 7 years agomonicakm_gw
7 years ago
User
7 years agoUser
7 years agoautumn, I'm so sorry to learn you suffered the loss of your sweet pup. I appreciate your words of sympathy and understanding.
Just when I think I've turned a corner, I will come upon or do something that reminds me of Riley and feel that heaviness in my heart all over again. I know in time the memories of her years with us will be happy ones, but we're not there yet.
What you said about the house being quiet is true here, too. With the 2 dogs there were always excited yips when a stray cat, squirrel or turkey came through our yard. The UPS guy elicited the biggest barks, which I always tried to shush. Whenever I drove my car in the garage I heard happy barks and "tap dancing" on the other side of the door. Now, it's all gone quiet. Puck rarely makes a sound.
The biggest surprise and saddest part of this is that Puck was the bigger noisemaker. His lower toned, louder bark overshadowed Riley's. It's clear to all of us now that while he was the larger, more outgoing of the two, Riley was the leader. She set the pace and lit the spark.
My insightful 7 yr.old granddaughter observed this and mused about it recently. My DH and I are compatible opposites - I'm the reserved homebody and he is the magnetic personality who is the life of any gathering. My GDD said I'd better not go before Poppa because she knows he'd turn sad and quiet like Puck. From the mouths of babes ;)
With the cooler weather I've been taking Puck on more walks. It seems to raise both our spirits. My next-door-neighbor said she cried like a baby the first time she saw me walk by with only one dog on lead after always seeing me with the 2 of them prancing at my side for 12 yrs. I confess I cried behind my sunglasses the entire walk the first time out and was so grateful I didn't run into anyone.
Time will heal, and I send my warmest wishes to you and your family as you go through it, too. You are so right in your sentiments about having been blessed by such loving companions which is why we miss them so much.
Here's a pic from last year this time when I was decorating for Fall
and of of my little buddy, Puck, today
autumn.4
7 years agoOh yes 'the walk'. We walked 365 days a year for 8 1/2 years barely missing a day even in the blizzard snow (she loved the snow). We only skipped if it was really raining hard. I can hardly bring myself to go alone, in fact I have only went twice since her passing and I hate it. It feels unnatural. She trained me through 3 half marathons running the first several miles with me in the dark so I could finish early enough to take care of business. I would drop her back off after the first 3-5 and then carry on for the rest.
I avoid most conversations about it myself but like you just when I think I am okay something happens and all of a sudden I am not and the tears flow.
Out of the mouths of babes indeed. It's amazing how spot on and insightful they can be.
Very nice decorating pics, the pups go well with anything. :) My girl would hardly look at the camera without looking like eeyore - that memory makes me smile. Silly dog.
She was a bit bigger than your Riley and Puck are. Here is one of the few I have that she actually was looking at me.
And her typical loathing the camera face but at least it's square on as well:
Warmest thoughts to you and yours as well.User thanked autumn.4User
7 years ago
l pinkmountain
7 years ago
Bunny