I agree- don't stress yourself out because it will just kill all the enjoyment and take years off your life! I've been there, with the stress. I lost two hosta so far to HVX and each Spring I cast a wary eye around the garden, waiting for more cases to pop up. It happens. I used to fear HVX the most, then came nematodes, which are worse to me, because of the way they spread- I feel confident I can keep HVX from contaminating the rest of my garden because I use good garden hygiene with tools and gloves. Nematodes, not so easy. Then came hail which made the entire garden look real, real ugly last year, a total buzzkill and made me totally want to give up on the whole thing. But the cherry on top had to be the introduction of voles, eating away ALL the roots under about a dozen plants before I knew what was happening...I thought they were just going dormant. So, it's always going to be something, I'm afraid. Last year was horrible for me, yet here I sit, eagerly awaiting the new beginning each season brings. Ellen, many growers that specialize in hosta sell online, and they are well versed on HVX and take steps to prevent it. I have seen obvious cases of HVX at virtually every local plant nursery around here. Usually the owner/staff have no idea what HVX is if you point it out to them. The big box stores are notorious for having infected stock and being clueless about it, but as mentioned, it's basically a risk anywhere. Buying from a place like Hallson's at least cuts that risk way down.

Congrats, May. Wish one of my two sons would get married. Older one has a longtime GF but they seem happy the way they are. Send some of that "marrying dust" my way, please. Happy for you.

After re-reading your post again,all I can say is that it really sounds like you went through alot. It also really,really seems as though you have tried so hard to get this girl help and to show her she is loved. You gave her private schooling (which not many people can afford) and counseling. Honestly,I dont know what else you COULD have done.there is no shame in feeling relief that she is gone when it sounds as though she has caused alot of heartache and grief. You are only human and can take so much. Even if this wasnt a step issue,a bio child with these problems can be just as trying,so please dont beat yourself up.

Thanks for posting the drawing, MM. I think that's the last one I had seen. What a perk from kwsl -- which should have dh thrilled! He'll always listen to you now, hm. Great transformation on the kitchen too. I hope Chicory gets to see this. Looking back on memory lane, lol -- I saved the thread. I prefer these wider steps and porch on your house, that she intially laid in, compared to your lovely inspiration pic. That thread was nuts! These evolving threads really are just too much fun. Too bad they delete them. I'm sure many people have been inspired and learned from your project, with things they can apply at their own homes. Thanks very much for posting throughout the process. Keep us updated! : )