I have enjoyed most of my garden guests, but did have one group last year that I found annoying. I gave precise driving instructions, including saying that there is a large wooden planter box mounted behind our mailbox, with an egg for sale sign hung below, and this is the only such place on at least a ten mile stretch of highway. When the group came, they were 30 to 40 minutes late (which I didn't really mind, I still had garden things to do), hurried their visit through in perhaps 15 minutes as they had thought of another place they would like to check out as well, and complained that they had a hard time finding the place. However, my largest peeve, is we have occasionally had people come in to buy eggs, driven past the house out to the barn, and walked in the barn looking for eggs. I mean, we sell free range eggs, that simply means the hens are not caged, and can scratch in the dirt and manure, eat grass/weeds and insects. It does NOT mean that you go freely into our barn and outbuildings, looking to help yourself! In particular, this past winter we had someone drive past the house, across the yard where the snow had not been cleared for days, went to the barn looking for eggs, then tried to turn his car around, got off the harder packed area, and got stuck in the lawn,, leaving ruts. That one was choice. Personally, I don't care if it is a barn, it is a breach of my privacy if you drive past the house and go walking in the barn without my permission. Most of our egg customers are great, and appreciate that we have it set up with packaged eggs on a shelf in the 'back room', with a container for the money, and can get their eggs anytime, whether or not we are home. And the garden guests that do appreciate your time and effort make it all worthwhile.

Greetings ca avon lady, It is frustrating to see people who have had an adequate income and saw fit to spend every dollar as it came in be in trouble immediately when their paycheque gets interrupted, for whatever reason. During about 25 years as a personal financial advisor, I've recommended to many clients and prospects that they set up a plan to build up a cushion of 3 mos.' worth of income at least, in case of emergency or interruption of paycheque, and preferably 6 mos.' - 9 mos.' equivalent, or even up to a year's worth. That gives one a measure of financial freedom - but the family being forced within a week or two to appeal to the grandparents for help to feed their kids sure doesn't enjoy any financial freedom. I'm feeling sad these days that so few appear to have taken that advice, whether due to inadequate level of income, lack of knowedge or skill, or of inclination. Many find it hard to plan ahead, but it's sort of like driving a car skilfully ... one doesn't keep aware of the road only within 50 - 100 feet or so ... but keeps aware of what's going on 1/4 - 1/2 of a mile away. When our children were young, we received a "Family Allowance" cheque monthly from the government, about $6.00 a month per kid, I think, in the late 60s. That amounted to about $72.00 per year, and Avon Products' share price was about $76.00 at the time, I think, so we invested in one share each per kid per year: 5 for 5-year-old son and 2 for 2-year-old daughter, as an investment aiming toward the time when they would be going to Univ.. Within a few years the share price had almost doubled ... but I don't know what became of them over time, for wife went on her own and the kids went with her, so I became a non-resident Dad. We used to get samples of newly developed products, each year in late fall - at a nice time to provide gifts for various family members, etc. When it came time for them to attend Univ., they paid about 1/3, their Mom a third, and I a third, and they each grad. with no debt, I'm fairly sure. Which reminds me that, several years ago, I called the local HomeBuilders' Association to suggest that their members should contact their members of Parliament to ask for larger support for post-secondary education. Their office person denied that such an idea had any relevance for their members. I said that if a univ. student grads carrying a debt of, say $75,000., on a student loan ... that's half of a regular mortgage. You know how long that it takes to pay off a mortgage. How long do you think that it may be before that grad. student, now quite likely in a professional career, will be able to get that student loan paid off ... ... and until much of that loan is paid off ... ... be able to consider seeking a mortgage in order to buy a home?? They ... had ... not ... given ... that ... idea ... any ... thought ... whatever!! Good wishes for increasingly shrewd use of both your income and assets ... and sensitivity enough to be aware of when to refer to such issues among family members, friends or work colleagues, etc., and to what depth. ole joyful

Both parents have equal rights to attend any event involving their child. Besides, most kids enjoy having both parents attend their events as much as possible. It really doesn't matter whether it's a game or a practice. All they care about is who showed up! And when it comes to events, there is no "My Time vs. Your Time". Parents do not stop being parents just because they are not exercising their designated parenting time with the child! I also would ask your SO if he would like you to attend the practices and games when you are free to do so. That may make him feel more comfortable during the times both parents are there. As for the ER visit, there really is no "protocol". Every family is different. Personally, I simply expect everyone to act like adults and play nice for the sake of the kids. Again, I would ask your SO if he would prefer having you come along to support him, and follow his lead. Don't try to second guess what he wants; just ask. When my husband and I married in 2006, I had two daughters (now 26 & 29) and he had one daughter (now 32). My oldest lives 2,000 miles away, so we rarely get to see her. When she does return to NH, we all get together. My youngest daughter lives in town, and absolutely adores her SD. We share some holiday gatherings with my ex and his SO, so our daughter doesn't have to pick and choose with whom she will celebrate the holidays. Everyone behaves like adults. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about my husband's ex wife and his adult daughter. In December 2012, my SD asked her father to celebrate Christmas Eve with just her and Dad. My husband and I talked about it, and we concluded that we did not get married to have one person sit at home alone because somebody else (namely, his ex wife and his daughter) got their panties in a bunch over my presence. So, my husband told his daughter that WE would love to celebrate Christmas Eve with her. We have not heard from her since. It's a shame, because we have a lot to offer her. But, we refuse to let an adult child and his ex wife dictate what we can and cannot do in our lives.

This is a compilation of suggestions from several Garden Web Hosta Forum Regulars. I claim no responsibility to authorship, I was simply the vehicle to post these pearls of wisdom. If you read the forums regularly, I'm sure you will be able to guess the identity of several of the contributors. Happy Hosta-ing! ********************************************************* Garden Etiquette 1. I did NOT invite you over to use my bathrom ... SO DO NOT ASK .... because i cleaned the garden for your visit, not the house... take care of this before you get here ... though obviously emergencies occur ...and dont stop at micky dee's to take care of it and then buy the 200 ounce pop because it is hot out there .... and then 2 hours later have to use the bathroom .... i will provide you with enough liquids to survive .... perhaps a tablespoon at a time ... 2. DO NOT walk in my garden beds, unless you have permission. 3. IGNORE the idiot dog, when standing near my beds .... to watch you turn him into a frothing love hound and rip up my labels and plants is truly disheartening ... we have the the middle of the lawn for that ... 4. Either bring a gift .... LIKE A HOSTA .. or any perennial .... or send a thank you note ... i did a lot of work for your visit ... and i want some afterglow ... a note a few days later .. usually gets you another invite w/o question ... and probably a hosta next time ... nothing pricey ... it is the gesture ... not the value ... 5. Leash your children if they are a problem [though they are usually not the children of hosta nuts ... these children have been taught the proper priorities] ... or bring something that will entertain them ... and dont rely on my dog to be the entertainment ... he is an idiot ... see above .... 6. Leash your uninterested significant other ... or insure they bring something to entertain themselves ... or better yet .. leave the uninterested at home ... i hate cutting short a tour with someone who is truly interested because they are distracted by someone else ... and suggest to them that if they have nothing nice to say ... they need not say anything ... 7. Do NOT resort to platitudes in describing the beauties before you. Also, PLEASE do NOT tell me how so-and-so's plants are doing better than mine, for whatever reason. 8. be on time .... i have waited and worked like a dog anticipating your visit .. have some respect ... and calling is not sufficient, because i will be out there an hour ahead sprucing up the garden waiting for you .... and i wont be near the phone ..... i will NOT be upset if there was an emergency ... 9. DO NOT try to surreptitiously purloin a piece of ANYTHING (with that plastic spoon hidden in your pocket) without asking my permission. If you ask nicely, I MAY give it to you-but on my terms. 10. if you can grow one better than me .... be prepared to discuss all variables in your success so that i may figure out what you are doing right that i am not 11. Amendment to #1 with relationship to #5 and #6. If you are going to stop at McDonalds on the way to my garden, leave the uninterested spouse and children there. We will all be happier that way. 12. Do NOT pull the plant marker out of the ground to read it easier, and if you must pull it out, PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM. 13. FEEL FREE TO PULL WEEDS .... IF YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE ... I WILL BE GLAD TO PROVIDE ANY TOOLS OR SUPPLIES TO ENCOURAGE SUCH ... IF YOU ARE WILLING TO COME BACK TO WEED .. I WILL PAY YOU IN HOSTA ... 14. if you want the label in the picture .. i will gladly do it for you, and put it back where i want it ... they are placed in a certain manner .. so me and the dog know where to walk when you arent here ... moving them can lead to bloody feet for one or the other of us ... and so i know where the dormant plants are in spring ... 15. Never ask to trade me two undulata's for a plant I just gave my left arm and two grandchildren for. 16. Don't ever ask in front of my spouse "Whad'ya give for that one?" 17. No, that one will never be big enough to divide up and give away. If you really like it, I will tell you where to BUY it. 18. Yes, I am sure you would like some plants to get started since they are so expensive. I know, I because I bought most of mine. 19. No, That one won't get any bigger with more light and fertilizer, it is a mini....we like em' that size! 20. Yes, this is a lot of work and takes alot of time, but it keeps me out of the bars.... and I don't get a hangover from it....Occasionally slugs can be a headache, though. 21. Addendum to #1. I did NOT even invite you. You were here when I got home from work and said you didn't think I would mind, since you are related to so and so downtown, and they know me. I DO mind. 22. Addendum to #3. Leave YOUR idiot dog home. Don't tie a beagle on a 6 ft. lead to my gazebo to destroy my Blue Mammoth Hosta while you are on the other side of the house and your dog is going nuts because you just disappeared from his view!! 23. If you don't know a thing at all about Hosta, don't ask for an invite, and then view my Liberty Hosta, which was 6 eyes last year, and say.."Well, I have that one--but mine's huge!!" 24. Do NOT tell me what I "should" OR "shouldn't" do or plant. I love talking about my gardens when someone says "have you ever thought about..." because it's interesting to share ideas and experience. However, I garden for my own pleasure and appeal, so I don't really care if you find something not to your liking. And please don't ever say: You should plant some marigolds. (No, I should not...they don't happen to be a favorite of mine and your barrelful is utterly boring.) You should run those bricks farther down. (No, I want it to transition into a woodland path at this point and you don't even have a garden path, so just go sit down some place and get out of my sight for a while.) You should try some of that colored mulch...really brights up the place. (Are you crazy?...I've seen your yard) 25. And DON'T waste my precious TIME, having to explain the history of each and every HOSTA to YOU, only to tell ME that they LOOK ALL ALIKE.