The closest I have been to tropic is hermosa beach calif, and a couple days in Jacksonville just ahead of a hurricane. To a miserable cold Michigander California had something fabulous: fluffy dark red porous soil. When it rained the rain went in like a sieve. Michigan soil by contrast (except for the sandy sites) makes a heavy dark mud when it rains. It holds the water in dirty puddles. Water gorged earthworms coating the sidewalks after a summer rain are childhood memories. Calif and Florida dirt seems light and fresh. Also the succulents. So many plants had thicker leaves or waxy flowers giving a richness. Florida had a scent - spicy-musty that might have come from all the mulch used. My imaginary tropics is defined by a warm and somewhat humid air, plant scents, and especially birds, parrots and exotics with louder calls and brilliant colors. The nights are not cold (like california). There would naturally be more water: waterfalls, streams, ponds, fountains. A palm tree or two would not hurt but aren't required. I think of flowers colored white, pink, red more than yellow, orange. Funny that in Michigan I find plantings with white blossoms cold looking, but in a tropical setting I would find them rich and warm looking. Wouldn't expect to see a field of blue flowers in the tropics.

Honestly, it's not just her age. I'm 22 and I would be more understanding about the situation if I was in it. Of course maybe that's because I come from a divorced family and remember being pushed aside for someone else's children (my father spent years taking care and raising his gf's 3 boys while she treated him badly and kicked him to the curb when the kids got older). I would honestly wonder why my boyfriend wouldn't stand up for himself and be a better father no matter what the ex is doing to him. He's still got a responsiblility to those kids no matter how much child support he pays (which, I ask...how is he paying that if he's not working? Even on unemployment people don't make as much as regular income so paying that much child support plus other living expenses wouldn't work). You know kids don't care about money or how much child support was paid or if it was there on time. They care about the letters, phone calls, gifts and presents they recieve. It's part of life that parents are supposed to care for and make sure children have everything they need...kids don't care who paid more or what as long as they were cared for and loved. Oh, and it sounds like the ex is sorry for what she did in her past. She must have thought the grass was greener elsewhere and got a wake-up call. She wants him back and has to deal with the fact that it may be too late. Sounds normal in a lot of situations really. And another thing, I remember my mother trying to go after my father for not getting child support. It was taken out of his pay check before he got it, it was just that his employer held it and then Domestic Relations held it again before sending it out. Some months nothing came and others, 2 checks. It wasn't my father's fault at all but the others involved. Maybe that's why she's been after him for not paying up at times. ~Leslie~

Vickey, I can sympathize with you 100%. My late MIL was exactly like that, did everything she could to destroy our marriage and Woody would always excuse her behavior to me. She would say horrible things about me to anyone who would listen and it never failed to get back to me somehow, small towns, ya gotta love/hate 'em! lol For years and years, he would sort of get it, but he was unable to do anything about it because he's too nice and didn't have it in him to be confrontational or rude to her, said she was such a good mother to him and his sibs when they were young, that he couldn't do it. He was brought up to respect his elders and especially his parents. Fine. Whatever. I wouldn't have taken that from my parents if they'd hated him, but OK.... anyway... You know what really drove the point home, to Woody? The day she turned her venom on HIM. Yep, he was shocked. And he drove over to her house at 10:30 PM, to let her have it, gave her notice to NEVER speak ill of either one of us again. She denied saying what he heard, but he knew he heard it. She never apologized, either, but it sure opened his eyes and I think it got a lot easier for us after that because I was able to stop resenting the fact that he wouldn't stand up for us. I don't know if your DH will ever get there, but the more you can ignore her and not think about her, the better. That's what I had to do. Not talk to her, see her as little as possible, let him deal with her. It's nice that the rest of family is getting their eyes opened, finally! And I liked your 25 year analogy! Good one. Maybe he'll ponder that a bit and wake up some. Good luck!

Started with a nice rain this morning. Did some grocery shopping, ate lunch and took a nap. Sure have been a slug today. How was your day OAH? And not to worry about that thread killer title...I can challenge you for that position. lol BTW, my son and his family moved to Woodstock, GA; are you familiar with that part of the state? They are loving it there after living in the Phoenix area for so long.