My answer is: nothing. I love designing spaces, and I would want very much to start with a blank slate wherever I go. Oh, I may take a few seeds from plants that are good all-around fillers, but I would really want to design from the bare ground up. An arresting conversation. I've been thinking along these lines for a year or so now, without really realizing I was doing so. My DH has been muttering for years upon years that we should finish up the house (it's been in a continuous state of remodel for.e.ver) and sell it. I've been constantly expanding the garden, not really concentrating on the idea of leaving until about a year ago when, all of a sudden, he started actually doing the things that needed to be done to get us out of here. I figure we have about 1 1/2 years of work left to do on the interior, then it's on to other pastures. I continue to plant, transplant, sow, etc., but I didn't realize until today, while reading this thread, that a lot of my recent planting decisions have been centered around ease of maintenance and creating more of an "outdoor room." I've never really cared about ease of maintenance before, and I know for a fact that the "outdoor room" concept comes directly from home improvement television shows, and is almost entirely to do with increasing perceived value. There are a lot of reasons why a person would have to be a gardener to really want our home (no grass anywhere, for one), and an avid gardener with an appreciation for the offbeat, at that. I guess I've been thinking that if we can sell the garden as an extension of the living space, rather than something for the neighbors to look at, we might have a better shot at non-avid-gardeners without ripping out half of what I've done and sowing grass seed. Of course, I'm an avid gardener and I wouldn't want to move into a home with an already-established garden. Lots to think about.

This is the classic damage that happens to children from divorce. This is why its so important for parents to EXPLAIN TO KIDS why things are happening. kids tend to blame themselves for everything around them because at their age they cannot grasp reality and societies ways of life. Thank God my husband always explains to his kids. WHy he left their mother, why he cannot go back with her. He always explains. There is alot of facts missing from your explaination. There are many reasons a father could have left. One usual reason is the deep seeded hate for the ex wife. And the exwife causing him grief. She may have put a restraining order on him. He couldnt' stand seeing her while picking up and dropping of his daughter. Second. the amount of child support was so heavy he needed to get a better job to support his daughter. If that was so, they yes, he would leave the support for teh benefit of his daughter. Third, he may have been depressed. I know my husband was depressed because he felt at the time of the divorce, being a failure as a husband and a father. He felt he couldnt' fix the situation and left for the benefit of his kids. But he didn't leave the province or state. But he still left and his kids did blame themselves for a while. What this man did wrong was that he did not explain to his daughter that he is leaving not because of her. He needs to leave for _______explaination. It should have been given to your friend. That way she would not have this complex of selfblame, less worth and so. ITs so IMPORTANT. Unfortunately, the damage is done. But i honestly think, she should meet with her dad and confront him with her feelings. Tell him off the bat that she doesnt want to lose the relationship she has with him BUT she has long lingering questions and feelings of the past. She is an adult and has the right for answers. He will speak with her because she is not a child anymore. i have to be honest. What i've noticed is that men just dont seem to see the same things woman do. My father also moved on and doesnt' speak anymore to us since he remarried. He speaks with me on the phone and now is trying to have a relationship. I've been invited this weekend to his house. I know whatever didn't happen in the past is long gone. He was never much of a father to me. I had alot of resentment and hate for him. Felt neglected, not good enough. But overcame it by delving into my environment and friends and talking my feelings out. But what helped me the most was my confrontation with him. It was heated and loud and alot of emotions poured out. But that helped me. Screaming at him and telling him he wasnt' there for me while i grew up helped me. I felt a closure of somesort. And from that point i moved on with my life. i finally married and have a child ofmy own. Your friend needs to speak with her dad. She must on this, or she will never get over her feelings. Regardless of how much counseling is done.

LOL She's off on sick leave Flamey and believe it or not, her replacement is worse than she is! The new chick takes all morning to make 18 sack lunches, leaves to deliver meals (six of them) at ten to eleven and doesn't return until quarter past twelve and after the in-house patrons have been served. Then she takes a smoke break until the seniors leave. Then she has her dinner. Then she takes another smoke break. Then she can't do clean up because bleach makes her hands break out and she's allergic to rubber gloves so she sweeps, half of the floor but not under the tables. Then she takes a smoke break. Then she drags the garbage sacks across the ground to the dumpster, breaking them open and scattering garbage all over and leaves it. Then she takes a smoke break. A freezer went out last week and she couldn't help load meat (to transport to another freezer at the store) because she doesn't have enough wind to do anything. It's appalling. It's embarrassing. If anyone says anything to her about her work (like in 'tie your hair back' or 'cut your fingernails' or 'put gloves on when you handle food' or 'don't flick your cigarette butts on the Church lawn next door') she gets all wide eyed and says 'well W_____ (the old boss) says it's okay if I do this!'. *Lori pulling her hair out and it isn't pretty* The patrons complain to me about her. When I relay the complaints to the old director she gets mad and says I don't like the new girl and haven't given her a chance. This is not true. I just don't feel sorry for her. LOL The poor woman has no clue how to work. What's worse, she doesn't want to learn how to work. The new director is very displeased with the work ethic too. I REALLY ticked the old boss off when, after I served twenty people on my own while this chick was of doing god knows what, said I'd rather have the old lazy woman back. LOL One of of patrons in the meals on wheels program is 80 years old, dependent on oxygen but very friendly. He thinks every woman is beautiful and likes to hold your hand or pat you butt. When this happens I smile nicely, say 'thank you' to his compliment and stay out of his reach. Well...the new woman has been sitting down and flirting with this guy, spending as much as a half an hour in his house, alone with him. Then she gave him her home phone number. THEN she complained that he was getting too familiar with her and she was afraid of him. WTF? The old director got all upset with him and told me I would probably have to start delivering a meal to him because, well, it just upset the new woman soooooo much to which I said 'I don't think so..does the commissioners know about this?' so instead of telling this woman (who is thirty years old with three children) to 'just stay out of his way' she goes and has a 'talk' with the old guy. Of course he became indignant, complained to every other old folk in the county and got the old director in trouble when word got back to the commissioners. LOL She maintains nobody understands the new woman and that she just needs to be helped a lot, that's all. change is so interesting. lori

@Jan Moyer we are hiring a professional contractor. I sent the plans to him yesterday. waiting on his estimate. i have spent a lot of time on it. during my initial consultation with him he didn’t think to turn the tub. He did however say that a 34 inch wide shower was fine since it’s 54 deep. i actually don’t want the chandelier direcyltky over the tub. I’m thinking id like it centered in the section of the “room” with the tub. my husband wants to keep the tub parallel to the window and says 34 inches will be fine in the shower. so yes i got more gray hair over this for nothing. cest la vie! we kept the wood louvered doors original to the house so thats why I’m putting the mirrors on the wall. i am toting with the idea of having them trimmed up on the walls likr this the original 70s bathroom had giant unframed mirrors surrounding the tub like walls. I still have all those mirrors. i know this type Of trim work will be expensive. I‘d like to get an estimate on it though. i just moved the closet door away from tub. That was still the original/existing location.. back to the hall. I’m not sure why my blue & yellow lines pic didn’t post. Trying again one yellow line is the wall I’m talking about. The other yellow line is the distance/walking space I’m talking about. The blue line is where the wall exists now. I know 56” is enough in the bathroom and that 40 or more is enough in the hall. I have to move the wall no matter what though so i‘m trying to figure out the best place to move it to. The hall is 20 feet long. and is currently 40 inches wide then widens to 64” wide after you pass the kids bath. as it is on the plans, the hall is 48” inches after the kids bath, and the space between the vanity counter and the wall with shower and water closet is 56”. The contractor thought i should give the other 8” inches to the bathroom and make the hall 40 inches. Then he went and looked at the hall and said well it is a long hall so i can see why you like some extra width here.